₦airaland Forum

babe and sexkills, you two need to get a private room.

Basseti:
Going by your penchant for being precise, make that "Nigerian men in diaspora"

I just couldnt resist that dig  

Lets take the US for example:
Will the break up/divorce rate come down among couples if you take out the contribution of Nigerian men?

FYI (cos I noticed people quickly assume stuff on here): I am not holding defense court for nigerian men. God knows we come with our own unique set of wahala. But making it sound as if Nigerian men are the worst when it comes to relationship is just simply being dishonest.

I'm talking about divorce rate in relation to if they were with someone of similar cultural background.
Marriage with white women tend to have the highest divorce rates across the board (for obvious reasons and partially where some of the problem comes from). but white women married to a white man will last longer in comparison because they understand each other more.
get my drift.
i'm comparing it to a case where two people involved have similar cultural background.

there are exceptions though.
for example, marriage between black women and white men have the lowest divorce rates in the US. I guess part of the reason is obvious. It is not as common so the ones in it are probably serious about it.

Basseti:
Wow!!!!! Thats an interesting thread, will spend some time reading that.

I always knew there was an underbelly to this, 

Btw, everybody complains. I am sure if you go to forums of other nationality, you might get some disaffected individuals using the forums as therapy for their failed relationships.

yeah everybody complains about their women. but they still date and marry them. lol It's all about who you are comfortable with or who shares your cultural values.

but I think it is a common, accepted fact though that nigerian men union with foreign women don't last as long for the same reason above. I've seen the same in real life too. one where d guy was taken to court. and two others where the women became baby mamas. these are beautiful women who could have made a good life of themselves if they weren't messing around with these guys.

like I said, if we nigerian women agree to these men's demands, all of us will be baby mamas to 5 different guys like our foreign counterparts. Our attitudes and behavior really is a product of our upbringing and values. And to be honest i'm proud of that. ie. i'd rather be single till 35. than settle to become like the impoverished white woman I see on the buses wheeling 3 mullato babies about. In that case, then it's definitely better to "lose out."

Even Asian women are known as the most materialistic women that could exist. but it doesn't change the fact that they have the most successful immigrant communities abroad. It's all about values. A woman should always look for a provider and family man in a prospective mate. not a mere sex partner or someone to exchange valentine flowers with. what's the use of that in the long run?

stillwater:
It's just like wondering why those white men date Nigerian girls in Nigeria and saying White women are losing out.

exactly. the opposite is actually the case[i] in Nigeria[/i] where you are more likely to find a white man dating a Nigerian woman.

too many generalization in OP's post and thread title.
but all the guys of course want to perpetuate that kind of idea. which is why they are all hell bent on twisting sexkill's neck.

and cosign with the link to that thread.
Nigerian women are not losing out on anything based on these foreign women's messages. If we are losing out, then we are losing out on the useless ones. which we don't want anyway.

Saying naija girls have wahala because we don sabi all your tricks. Tehehehe.

on point
If we nigerian women abroad aren't the way they we are, you will be seeing all of becoming baby mamas to 5 different men like our foreign counterparts. Many of us will rather stay single till 30 than choose that path of single motherhood.
yea there aren't enough responsible men out there to go around for every woman. but doesn't mean we will settle out of desperation without using our heads. not when we know the kind of men we're dealing with.

sexkillz:
The day Nigerian Babes lose Out on Nigerian men is the Day A Cow would lay an egg!

Goodnight Jenifa

yea good night  


@topic,
beside the generalization in the topic title, let's not even forget the intricacies of the phrase "lose out on"
Many foreign women on nairaland don't come with good news about their nigerian partners afterall. So maybe we are losing out on something bad. which is a good thing isn't it. I want to lose out on misfortune.

erico2k2:
first answer.They have british accent cos the have lived here long anough to pronounce things in that accent
2nd answer . yes some do
whala dey.

but I can tell you that it is silly to ask such as question can't I? even though 0.000000001% that have grown up abroad and relocated to nigeria do. It's just an inconsequential number to base a blanket generalized question on.

"why do Nigerian men have british accent"

^
roftl. why not just let the intended recipient of the post respond to it. He understands what i'm talking about.
again this is what I mean when I talk about misunderstanding.

Basseti:
LOL!!!!!!!!

You have a right to air your view abeg. Others have the  right to disagree with the views you air.  Its a two way street.

exactly. I think sexkills and I are airing our views here. we are allowed.

someone mentioned 98% vs 2%. so why not content yourself with being in the majority. why the need to attack. It's not as if you're going to change anyone's mind or opinion on the matter.

I'm not talking about you o. just about those swearing about and trading words.

Basseti:
Consider these two questions and you might begin to be a little bit less confused: (I saw this thread this morning):

Why do Nigerian men have pot bellies?
Do Nigerian men have pot bellies?  

One presupposes a fact and just wants an explanation. The other is just merely asking a question.

Same thing here.

or how about:

Why do Nigerian men have british accents?
Do Nigerian men have british accents?

get my drift?

Basseti:
So basically you were just defending Sexkill right to be confused even tho you were not. Gotcha!!!!!

He is clearly not confused if he understands the generalization this thread makes and tries to argue his point contrary to it. The confusion comes from us not understanding each other's view points.

Even I have a problem with the topic title. not only the generalization but also the phrasing. But I would not want everyone jumping on me for airing my views.

seedord247:
You think everybody here on Nairaland that replies frhom Nigeria leave in Lagos and Abuja abi?

I try to locate His IP . . . .  see what i found . .  Connecting via Ibadan zoo with Yaba Left

that's your problem
as far as i'm concerned, you might also be connecting via Yellowstone park zoo.

sexkillz:
[color=#000055][size=14pt]Olodo! But his friends, the basis for his cretinous observation, indicted the average Nigerian Girl! What does your expiated brain think of that?[/size][/color]

haha good point.

Basseti:
I see your point.

So a title like this " Are Nigerian babes in diaspora losing out non Nigerian men in diaspora?" would make you happier?  

I think most people assumed that anyways. I am surprised that you didnt especially after reading the post by the OP.

It won't necessarily make me happier.lol
But if would reduce the confusion and hence the misunderstanding going on right now.

On just looking at the title, I thought 190 or lefulefu (If you know who those are) must have created another silly thread.
I understood it after reading the topic since I live abroad. but I didn't like the way everyone jumped on Sexkill (a nigerian resident) for not understanding it the way it was intended for us to. Besides I think the way they responded was unwarranted. To me, they were kicking the guy for not joining in to bash nigerian women. that's d way I see it.  lol

Repubocrat:
Guy, it still boils down to the same point. If it holds true that the black men that choose to date fat white women have an inferior complex, then any man that chooses to date a fat woman has an inferior complex. It's simple logic.

The question you need to ask yourself is, why the qualms with the black man/white woman combo as opposed to others?

It's Propaganda.

The key point in the topic here is "So much"
meaning that it occurs with an unnaturally high consistency that there is not another reason for it besides a conscious decision on d part of the guy to seek out oyinbo no matter how fat and ugly. and this inturn reeks of inferiority complex.
sure some may have done it out of "love" or whatever you guys like to justify your reasons. but the extent to which it happens is just so unnaturally high to be based coincidentally on "love" lol

seedord247:
But you can put more gas in the fire.

If the fire is directed at the bullies. yes y not.

Sagaman:
A person with a single brain cell . . .

I will not engage in an argument with you because you (sagamite or fstanger) are not worth it.
I am not here to trade words or verbal abuse.

Basseti:
Madame, the title of the thread was presented in form of a question. Unless if you are arguing that it is rhetorical?  

and do you see a logic in the question when it is applied to Nigeria?
read my last post in respond to yours. and also take the time to read sexkill's first post to this topic.

I'm sure OP didn't create it meaning to be illogical. He must have done so thinking everyone on this website are based abroad thereby excusing the generalization. the problem really arises from a lack of sensitive to the fact that there will be nigerian based readers.

Like I said somewhere else, this is not the first thread like this where posters in the diaspora clash with ones based in Nigeria over topic meaning/ interpretation
It's all about the context. and it was missing in this topic.

Basseti:
Their excuse is that an average Nigerian girl has an unrivaled penchant for drama

This is where accusations of generalization are genuine. However, the sentence is clear on who is doing the generalization and it is not the OP.

Are Nigerian Babes Losing Out On Nigerian Men?

An attempt by the OP to see if his observations is a reflection of a more general trend ( ie increase his sample size).

Simple response: Yes or No would have sufficed.

Sexkill's point is that it is illogical to even try to use that observation as a reflection of a more general trend.
Nigerian babes cannot lose out on Nigeiran men in Nigeria. . It is illogical.
I do commend you for recognizing the generalizations.
That is Sexkill's point.

manny4life:
This was his friends generalizing NOT the OP, please someone tell me I'm wrong.

and is the thread title his friends' too?

The thread title is clearly a generalization. it also perpetuates the generalizations he credits to his friends.

[quote author=BABE! link=topic=798661.msg9509246#msg9509246 date=1320790214]Jeniva, Jeniva,

His/your POV is whakitty whack. There's only one correct POV to this topic, and that is what the 98% understand. [/quote]then leave his "whakitty whack' POV alone. To me the guy is upholding his view (which is very valid).
why not ignore it since 98% are behind you anyway. what's with the mob justice.

bullying is not good  

I suggest a moderator steps in at this point.

all the name calling and verbal abuses aren't flying for me. lol

manny4life:
OP WASN'T generalizing, he asked a question --- this is part of survey statistics,

No one is jumping or ganging up on him after all he was the first person to insult OP, however, that isn't the case,

this (below) is a generalization to me.  especially when he talks about the "average nigerian girl"
and leaving it to us to automatically assume that he's talking about nigerian girls in diaspora.
Topic title as well points to this generalization.

yea you can sift through his post to understand what he means (esp. if you live abroad yourself and understand the context) but the generalizations are still there. he should have been more sensitive of his audience.
esp in topic title. that way, readers know what to expect.

Their excuse is that an average Nigerian girl has an unrivaled penchant for drama. I tried to make a case for the few good ones but it appears they all have their minds made up. One of them even got sarcastic about the whole thing. His words and I quote, "Dramatic Nigerian girls coupled with their inexcusable lack of romantic prowess is a no-no for me ."
Well, my case is different. I am lucky to have a drama-less  and romantic Naija babe, and I believe there are several others out there. Guys, is this the trend or one of those aberrations?

[quote author=BABE! link=topic=798661.msg9509133#msg9509133 date=1320789132]There is no confusion. The only people confused here are you and Sexkillz.

If a teacher succeeds in making 98% of his students understand the subject/topic he's teaching then, he has indeed succeeded. The 2% need tutors; special tutors. [/quote]What I see here is the 98% abroad who found it easy abusing and bullying the 2% for not finding it easy.
I live abroad by the way so I get the OP. but at the same time, I am able to put myself in sexkills shoes and understand his POV.

[quote author=BABE! link=topic=798661.msg9509096#msg9509096 date=1320788861]So what is your problem? The fact that he came on NL to ask? [/quote]I think the fact that you guys are jumping on him unnecessarily.


this was his post. and he made valid point. OP was generalizing.
but all the guys decided to lash out at him for disagreeing that Nigerian babes are not losing out

Losing out wetin?

So because of your friends dating non Nigerians, that becomes a premise for concluding your unfounded theory of "Nigerian Babes losing out on Nigerian Men"? How many countries of the world have you been to? Can you utter such rubbish in Nigeria? Can this question make it to the headlines of a Nigerian newspaper?

Get your facts right before posting balderdash. . . it's not by force to post. if you feel like posting, post something substantial or post something like "My friends prefer non Nigerian Girls, to Nigerian Girls". . . That sounds better than a senseless generalizing. Sit on your hands to avoid posting nonsense. Thank you in advance. . .

I think this has been settled now so we might as well end it.

[quote author=BABE! link=topic=798661.msg9509008#msg9509008 date=1320788143]The OP was referring to Nigerian babes that have alternatives. He didn't need to spell that out na. Haba. [/quote]there have been this similar confusion elsewhere on this website too. sometimes people create topics without sensitivity to the fact that the situation is different in Nigeria! lol

Sagaman:
The fact he said in his VERY FIRST LINE: "I observed that most of my friends who live and study in the US and UK are dating non-Nigerian girls." is not clear enough?

You want him to list all the local governments in Nigeria and say "Not in . . . ." before you get it?

and then he goes on to make generalizations about Nigerian women based on what his friends in US and UK said.
read the rest of his first post.
just because he mentioned uk and us friends doesn't clarify his position.

If you were in his shoes (ie living in Nigeria), and reading this topic without the necessary context you would understand what I mean.

even a non-nigerian reading this topic will read it differently and assume that all nigerian men feel that way about nigerian women. It's all about the context. and the context was missing.

[quote author=BABE! link=topic=798661.msg9508966#msg9508966 date=1320787799]Chimo! Public asin Nairaland.[/quote]Not all Nairalanders are in UK and US.
the ones in Nigeria will fell the same frustration sexkill does. The thread is misleading.
and the content doesn't seem to clarify it much.

It makes a lot of generalizations about nigerian women that doesn't apply to a Nigerian setting. where men can't afford to bash the women anyhow like that.

And, I suspect sagaman is sagamite or fstranger. Those ones can't go anywhere without being verbally abusive. lol

So because of your friends dating non Nigerians, that becomes a premise for concluding your unfounded theory of "Nigerian Babes losing out on Nigerian Men"?

@sagaman,
If you read sexkillz's first post on this thread (quoted above), you will realize that he is referring to the misleading topic title!!
The assumption there is regardless of location.

That is not the experience of Nigerians living with in Nigeria (for obvious reasons).


It's a perspective issue:
Nigerian posting from Nigeria. vs Nigerian born posting from abroad.
so let's stop the argument. It will lead to nowhere.

Sexkills probably lives in Nigeria and thus sees the misleading nature of the topic. especially the thread title.

OP should have specified "Nigerian babes/men abroad"

manny4life:
Though I wouldn't speak on his statistics, however, geographic doesn't really play much of an important role in this case, but rather the dating pattern plays the role in the sampling. Though he mentioned it, but you if you read it properly, he did not assume U.K or U.S. as into consideration but the people involved (Nigerians) in the dating pattern. I think that's what he was talking about. Yes he was seeking opinion irrespective of where anyone is because like I said, geography plays little or no role in this case but Nigerians and their dating pattern is the key identifiers in this case, these are the two variables one have to access.

OP is clearly talking about the UK and US. and Nigerians abroad.
how many oyinbos do you know in Nigeria. In fact, the opposite is the case in Nigeria with naija women more likely to date oyinbo than vice versa.

You all seem to be ganging up on him for not joining you to bash nigerian women. hahaha shame on you

Sagaman:
Think about it again and stop being so myopic and giving excuses.
The first part to change is the need to acknowledge a need for change.

Continue deluding yourself and absorbing yourselfs of blame and wonder why black men are looking elsewhere.

It is as ridiculous as Nigeria saying Westerners don't come to Nigeria for Tourism because they are racist and prefer to take their money to fellow white people (Spain, Monaco, USA, Greece etc) or black nations that are more servile than Nigeria. It is because we are proud and don't take shyt that they don't want to come to Nigeria for tourism.

Yeah! Obviously people can come with the most ridiculous excuses picked from the darkest corners of illogicality instead of accepting the real issue poking them in the eye.

It's d same reason black american men are doing it. same reason carribean men are doing it. same reason african men are doing it.
But it doesn't happen with muslims and born again christian men or men with strong cultural values.
I stand by my claim.
the answer is very obvious. It's an inferiority-complex


and your tourism analogy makes no sense.
Nigeria doesn't really need oyinbo tourism. Mostly former settler colonies (Kenya, SA etc) and settler colony wannabe (Ghana) have successful ones.
Even when they wanted to bring "Miss World" to us, the northerners refused it with violent reaction!!

yes. Nigerian men do it too. All Black men do it. 
Except ones with cultural values ex. strict muslims, born again Christians and east africans (muslims)

www.nairaland.com/attachments/567345_9ja_jpg25ee9857d5213f80ae98b6f53930a2a2

^ it's all inferiority-complex.

Oyinbo is buying flowers so they must do it to. lol

lakhadimar:
Sounds more like repairing with your right hand & destroying with your left hand. All these charity works are mere camouflage. Bill gates & warren buffets are both fu cking racists, they are supporters & sponsors of 'planned parenthood'- it is an eugenics project by the american public health service aimed at cutting down birth rate among african americans thereby leading to there depopulation. Bill gate will derive so much pleasure in seeing the entire black race wiped away from the face of the earth.

This actually has the most resemblance of truth on this thread. Although it is very exaggerated.
Bill Gates is just following the path of his predecessors like Rockefeller and co. They did some good and they also did a lot of bad with their money.

yea. one of bill gates main priorities is population control. Unsurprisingly, this program is usually more aggressively implemented in poorer countries like in Africa and other parts of the third world.

There is already some controversy over HPV vaccine being a sort of sterilizer following deaths of young women in India and other reactions elsewhere. This is a Bill Gate pet project.