₦airaland Forum

geogeous: i dated my first boyfriend for more than 3 years and ever since, i've never met a guy without a coma. The guy i wanted to give a chance turned out to be the rude type! Are my asking for too much or it's just me? Been single for a long time now , i think i must have developed dating phobia

Coma means a state of prolonged unconsciousness, including a lack of response to stimuli, from which it is impossible to rouse a person.
So, you mean all the guys you met never respond to stimuli?

If Fashola eventually succeeds in getting these agbero off the road, hope another party won't use them in 2015 with promise of returning them back to the streets? Thumbs up to the action governor.
There are some agbero here trying to protect their job.

Abbey2sam: dude just accept it,this is no joke

Yes Boss!!! Everybody can't be wrong at the same time.
So, what is it?

Nice story, though, its a normal thing.
A guy pays through his nose to satisfy a girl and vice versa, at the end, heartbreak. #Povertyisthecause.

kinkie: You tried small.

This is not a copy and paste joke, I was marking 3rd term exam question for a secondary school, I saw these answers in some students answer sheet.
The reason why some people here believe it is not a joke is just that they cannot differentiate from the two things. #productofthebadsystem

[quote author=pearl~hapi]Gudday y`all•i was neva actualli angry•if u noticed at d initial stage I jt kept mute nd read all d insults buh nt wen d “wu eva said av been scared away”hell no!dats so much of an intimidation•wen I showed d coments to my mum she was like dats nairaland for u,tk it liberalli nd be brave•nd talkin abt young mind,a person wu sees a thread nd witot cogitation begins to mke nasty comments z certainli nt far frm dat word•nd yes I am patience gudlucks sister•bottom line z I neva waz angry,I jt played along nd yled d cold nyt away•my msg z even if u wana place a bad comments on sumones thread dnt tke it too extreme else it myt result to reactions like dis•Wich I actualli enjoyed•i dnt even rilli kno those mkin does comments dats to tell u I neva rilli tuk it to heart•d onli name I tink I remember z soji nd slimye•anywayz datz it[/quote]I'm sure the concluding part of the story can never be longer than what is up there. Save yourself some energy girl and grow up @ishowedmymum.

Why Do Men Cheat On Their Wives With Ugly Ones?

PretiEbony: i'm still looking for it

Do I need to explain the joke for some dumbhead ctrl C + ctrl V jokers?
The joke is a true life reflection of Nigeria's bastardized education system, imagine a teacher marking 3rd term examination in a secondary school and a student giving such answers.
Well, I won't blame some people who did not see the joke up there because that is just the way they will answer such questions in an examination.

bunmioguns: where is the Joke?

bunmioguns: where is the Joke?

Check it under ur keyboard. Mtsheeeew!!!

donami: 18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several
other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9. Successive versions of GirlFriend proved no better.

I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left = virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 =t the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each =other they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this
product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse2005.

Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge. These latter products have no help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab 93 Convertible hard drive, it often crashes.

Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can't be turned off.

Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2005, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2005, it tends to delete all of your Money before
uninstalling itself

Nice one.
Maybe u upgrade to wife 4.0

1. Question: Give one benefit of the internet?
Answer: it is an avenue to meet boyfriends/girlfriends.

2. Question: differentiate between Conductor and Insulator.
Answer: Conductor is someone that call "Ketu" "Ketu" while Insulator is someone that sit down "jeje"

3. Question: differentiate between motor and generator.
Answer: A motor has a steering, gear, seat, door, windscreen while a generator does not have.

Dear Tech Support,

A Letter Of Complaint

Last year I upgraded my OS (Operating System) from Boyfriend 7.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under boyfriend 7.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.0, Personal Attention 6.0, Unlimited Calls and text 7.0 and Picnic 7.0.
In conclusion, the battery life of Boyfriend 7.0 last ten times longer than Husband 1.0 and that gives me sleepless nights as to the efficiency of Husband 1.0.
I will appreciate if my OS can be returned back to Boyfriend 7.0.
Thanks for your usual co-operation.

The active athlete in this summer olympics. Have your say.

Her problem should be psycological. People like that would have been told series of lies when they were young for example: when a boy touches you, you get pregnant not to talk of when he holds you. So, the fear of socializing with boys will be building up over the years and when she finally grows up with that mentality, it will be difficult to change her.
My 10naira note: She needs somebody to stand by her always and to convince her that guys are not always like that but if the Devil will add 'insult' to her 'injury' she will meet a player. I swear, she will never move closer to men again in her life.

Between "I love you" and "I am in love with you" which one do you mean when you say it?
To me, so far "Love" is included in the two, that is all that matters.

Can you break into Alagbon Prison?

The extremely quiet man becomes a street fighter overnight because of his first car. He argues n fights over parking space and may God help you to park at the entrance of the compound while he is about to drive in.

The BF may be duped as well, since they both tried locating an unexisting address in Lagos. #justsaying

With good organisation, I don't feel there should be problem.
One thing I don't seem to understand is the call for anonymity. It is simply cowardice, otherwise, why will you want to be faceless at such party?
The point here is that we should always make statement we can defend even in the court of law.

[quote author=Maria-Goretti]u fink i vnt said dat to him? I v buh dis guy wont bulge. I nid anoda strategy cus am nt gud at insultin piple.[/quote]Are you sure you are not good at insulting people? If yes, use this strategy:


[quote author=Maria-Goretti]irrelevant post....to d bin![/quote][quote author=Maria-Goretti]irrelevant post....to d incinerator![/quote]

Infact all these service providers in Naija are the same. I have used Airtel and Etisalat, now with Glo, the story remains the same with MTN. Well, what I observed with Glo is that when you watch a video on youtube, u are actually using ur airtime for that and not ur BIS subscription. So, maybe it applys to MTN.

[quote author=D-Explorer]*NL Attendance*
jhydebaba... Present sir! (we don see you)[/quote]Bros, just take a look at urself

girl king: Attendant, Oya clap for yourself as it is a title.

girl king: Attendant, Oya clap for yourself as it is a title.

Idowuogbo: Come, u dey mad? Its bad enough u in support of something extremely dangerous,and u hia still hyping like some cursed witch.U pretty? Medusa was cute 2 ya no! I dey look u since, no wake me o! O fori gba gate ni?

Ghen Ghen!!! Osheeee maami, je ko mo (let her know). Birds of the same feather #shior

Most 9ja babes believe that 9ja guys are maga, well, sorry for u oh. Somtin wey dey sweet for mouth dey pepper for nya.sh. The money don sweet u for belle, it must surely run u for belle. Come to think of it, how much those people wey dey blow ur punary dey give you wey ur PH bobo no fit afford? See 9ja babes thinking oh #olosho

Bimfo: Thank God he dint make the trip to Nigeria... It would have been a disaster Btw Nigeria and Ghana... The two countries are not in good terms at all... But y should they be?? When 1 Ghana cedi, is equal to ₦83.
WHAT A FAILED STATE WE CALL NIGERIA... All those our Leaders should be tied to the Stake and Burnt to Nothin...

Ghana struck out 4 zeros when they re-decimalized their currency. Same thing Soludo proposed during Yar-adua's regime in Nigeria.
10000cedis = 83naira (actual value)
1cedis = 83naira (face value)

Idowuogbo: Neva! Na me born maria na! Am d mamzi in da shizzle.

Maami!!! Iya Maria, Ogbayi. Just lemme know when it is available for free download.

Idowuogbo: Accidental love!

@Idowuogbo, u go starr as waka pass for the movie.

@OP, Seek first the kingdom of God and every other thing shall be added unto u (job and good life inclusive).
Job should not be our first priority in this wicked world, we should seek the things of God i.e eternal life.
Poster, never mind if you don't have the opportunity of living in a short term mansion here on earth, u will surely have an long term mansion in heaven.
#accept Jesus today

[quote author=Becacia_Barbie]Do u xpect evry1 on Nairaland to be single like u are Next plzz.....[/quote]Barbeque or what did you call urself? Why are you picking up a quarrel, ok, be my guest.

[quote author=Becacia_Barbie]And dat is ur own cup of Tea o! I Lizzy, only decides whose hands get curved around my waist or not! For goodness sake its my Body nah! If any guy tries it wid me....i wud just silently ignore him for d rest of my life! I dnt find it romantic wen a guy curves his hands around my waist..makes me feel like he wana tap current, nd it is kinda childish...i rather prefer he curves his hand around my neck, dat wud make me feel kinda safe nd loved![/quote]Tap current? U be electric pole? Small time now, una go dey go pastor house say u nid husband.

B.sc Economics