₦airaland Forum

KenModi:
You went into a place of relaxation and started disturbing people’s peace. After all the hustle and bustle, person decide to relax, make im body cool down, you went there to be disturbing people’s peace with one imaginary white guy who his people told you would come from the sky in flowing white gown and shiny hair to come take you to ‘paradise’.

If na me b dat guy, I for tear you correct slap, come tell who get beer parlour say you dey disturb me make dem chase you comot. Nonsense!!



At least let them show us something. I can bet no pastor can do that. They just read from a book written and nicely packaged by white people and they take in everything in there hook, line and sinker, without even thinking for themselves or asking questions like rational human beings. Even the people who wrote the book no longer believe or abide by what they wrote there because they know its all crap!

It’s either you hate whites or you’re just ignorant.

The Holy Bible was not written by white people.

It is the word of God written by Hebrews.

People who wrote the book still believe in it because every word is made manifest in our daily lives.

Tell me brother, why are you angry with your maker?

AntiChristian:
Love your neighbor as yourself self no be here o!

CAN wet dey force Muslims girls to remove their Hijab in Public schools. And Bishop Oyedepo was calling the consuming fire of God to come decide the matter. The fire he never called on bandits, kidnappers and Boko haram.

Christians will give you anything for as long as you can convert to christianity. Visiting the sick is an avenue to make fishes of men to christianity.

How do you love your enemies and pray for them? Christians are the major cursers of Buhari and Nigeria as if they are their enemy. Can you pray for Boko haram too?

I always pray for peace in this country
My church holds intercessions for the country
God is justice, so whilst we pray that the Bokoharam members repent, we also pray that justice prevails for all the evil they’ve done.

I have this feeling that you’ll soon experience the mind blowing peace of Christ.
And you’ll come to Jesus Christ a changed man.

Real peace

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You are an African man

YOU’LL SOON BREAKUP WITH THE NEW LADY FOR BEING OVER AMBITIOUS






We await the story!

Arteta don put all the attacking players for arsenal lol

This days I no dey laugh or feel happy when Arsenal lose...
If nah Liverpool or Chelsea now

Nah pity I dey feel for Arsenal

God help dam
Especially their fans for Nigeria
Double jeopardy

internationalman:
By the grace of God I will be posting updates of my journey to Yankee here this year..

Amen brother

A childless, impotent man dey advise a man with 7 children how to born twins

How is this news?

I’m more concerned about the statement of the Taraba state governor:
“If we cannot be able to provide security for our citizens, then allow all the citizens to buy AK-47, because if everybody is licensed with AK-47, I swear nobody will come to your house, or peradventure he does then it depends on who is faster.

Since 1999, Nigeria has only been able to produce 3 governors who actually makes use of their god given brains.
1. Fashola
2. Peter Obi
3. Donald duke

Ikpeazu, Ishaku, Bello, and the other legions we’ve all lack deep thinking. And that is why we haven’t gotten anywhere as a people.

A state governor will open his mouth to make such statement? Some motor park thugs will do better.
MC Oluomo will think and say better

DEEP THINKING!!!

*spits on his bald head*

‘Do you know who I am?’

‘How dare you?’

‘I’ll kill you and nothing will happen’



When you hear those sentences, just know that you’re talking to a Nigerian with small power.
Always threatened by criticism
Always looking to intimidate you with their power.


*spits on SE,SS,SW governors heads*

solmus:



China Obi, the Philosophy graduate forming economist to his people

Our Brother the Health Minister from Edo State never said the amount or quantities he is purchasing, he never stated cost of logistics and storage.

Typical Ibo man feels he knows all, deals better and is smarter than the Edo minister,

empty barrel China Obi BSC philosophy, lecturing MD Doctor in Medicine on procurement of Vaccines

No wonder Buhari skips them in appointment and Nigerians never vote them



.

If the minister failed to say all those things, then he’s a failure and shouldn’t be a minister.
What mr Obi has done is what we call TRANSPARENCY!

Who would you rather have as a minister?
Zombie

ibnlawal:
C'mon! Wife ain't GF
It's wrong to save her name like she's nobody. His wife of 16 years, haba!

You’re right though

Chii59:
No offense but you sound so much like a "mummy's boy"

Honestly I’m not.
I barely lived with my mum sef.

I think because she was not always around, I had her number off hand.
Lived in the dormitory all through sec school.
Came to Lagos just after sec school to hustle

So I see

Honestly I’ve had this same problem with all the girls I’ve dated.
I can’t do it!
My mom is the only one I saved her number with “momsy”

All the girls I’ve been here with find it absurd that I save their numbers with their full names.
What is wrong there?
I can’t save numbers with “my love”

One I had been with for 5+ years took it so serious and it caused issues between us.
What is wrong in saving your number with your name?

She was also angry that I can’t say her number off hand( said she memorized mine first week we started dating). My mom is the only person in the world I know her number off hand. My only number I know off hand is my first ever number. I can’t even say my current main line off hand.

triple996:
It's ok
That does not change the fact that war and death has come to stay in the east. Another decade of war have just began in the east

It is your fathers house that is at war over your stupidity.

Freedom and progress is here in the east!

rontolo:
This theft thrives only because Nigerians are docile and mumu. So glad I don’t live in that shithole! Would have ran these thieves to the ground!!

I need to join you guys I swear.

JidennaJason:
Though she might be dumb at times in some decision making, but she's more matured than the Ibile fool called Zlatan....

I have observe this lady to some extent, and she have a sweet personality, unlike the tout that keeps dishing out truckload of bullshits from the vocal booth to his Tramadol fans.


You'll be fine Cuppy.

God help all the foolish Igbo boys still in the Nigerian army!


I’m liking my new style on Nairaland these days
I’ve noticed great changes recently since I started it.


I open a thread, read the content, scroll down to read the comments from wonderful people...

Gets to MANNA... up up up up... leaves thread.
Gets to SILVER... up up up up leaves thread
Gets to ARREW... up up up up leaves thread
Gets to HELIN... up up up up leaves thread


Thank you.

Wonderful news
Thank God. I hope the girls will be given the opportunity to make their lives meaningful again.

For those cursing the OP, is the life of the speaker better than the life of the shoe maker?

Who amongst them is even more important to us as a country?

One sits at a table, feeds off on our taxes, loots as much as he wants.

While the other one makes shoes, pays tax that the former loots.

His death should be news worthy and a great loss to us!

I no wan dey see that martial for starting 11.
The guy too lazy for a striker

I hope he proves me wrong this night



Is Ole mad?
Martial? Martial?

JovialJune:
So what is bad in what she bought?

Most stupid question of 2021.
I felt like giving you a big slap.

Who’s producing these kind of ladies?
I’m beginning to detest Nigerian girls.

*spits on your forehead*

Op

You have to kill yourself before you run away oo
Because the owner go still dey disturb you
If you just run away, the dept go still hang for your neck
So kill yourself before you run away



But seriously ehh
There’s nothing like sure games
No fixed games
No expert forecasters


Just giving yourselves heartache. QUIT GAMBLING!!!

Flamemignon1:
Exactly what I expected.... Denial
I've seen it with my naked eyes thrice, it's no experiment, it's natural and real. Have a good night

You have seen it thrice on the internet oga.
You’ve not seen it real life.

Flamemignon1:
My God..... I can't stop laughing at your illiteracy. No, it's really alarming.... You still think this way in 2021 like really? Homosexuality is present in all animal species, next time do your research before you sound ignorant and baseless

No your stupidity is what baffles me sirmadam

Most of the stuffs you see were experiments trying to justify the madness sirmadam

Free roaming animals never ever engage in homosexuality. Have you seen free roaming fowl or goat in your neighborhood that exhibits signs of homosexuality?

spiceadole:
She could be older.
It doesn't matter for civilized people.

And when it comes to marriage, Nigerian people are civilized people?

We no be kids nah


Good luck to dem

xProfx:
When people's skin become lighter, it's not always because they are bleaching, sometimes its because they stopped staying under the sun for longer periods and they're living better. What Naija sunlight has done to people's skin ehn! Especially if you don't have a car...

Prolonged exposure to sunlight would definitely make anyone turn black so I don't think he is bleaching, just living a better life.

2face
Psquare
Dangote
Otedola
Tinubu
Mercy Johnson
Most black American musicians and actors
Osinbajo
ME
Davido
Wizkid
Fireboy


All of us dey under sun dey plant cucumber abi

As I dey type this thing now, one dey my house lyk this wey don use Caro white change him destiny!
Dey smell like rotten fish once him sweat small.
Upon all the AC, once him climb the stairs, the whole house go dey smell lyk am.


It’s almost 6 months now, cream never touch my body, but if I come out I still fresh.

No justification for bleaching or skin toning
LOW SELF ESTEEM!

Yes have you been a pawn in the scheme of things without knowing it before?

Mine was back in secondary school in Abia state.
Usually the post of SP ( senior prefect ) in my school was not given to the most brilliant or Obedient student. It was given to someone hardworking, mature, neat and a bit rough, someone that commanded respect.
So when we got to SS 2 second term and I was made the SP, I was surprised too.
I was brilliant then though, so I thought maybe that was why。
The voting process was simple; the teachers will pick two names from a list, SS1 students vote, then SS2 students will vote.
It was usually fast and easy and was done to determine whether the candidate was roundly accepted.

I lived in the dormitory, but didn’t know that their was a war of supremacy between two cult groups going on. Even teachers were involved.

The outgoing SP belonged to the Vikings confra and so was his predecessor.
So the Aye confra members insisted that it was their turn to produce the next SP. Their only problem was that they didn’t have someone who fit the position. So they knew that there was no way the school will let them get the position, so they insisted that no Viking member will get the post.

The vikings had the number, in fact one of the teachers had taken it upon himself to initiate SS1 students.
But the strongest and rough ( some where brilliant too) students were Aye members.
So to pacify everyone, I was made the SP.

Before I became the SP, I was barely known in school except that I was among the brilliant students.
Immediately I was made the SP, the Aye boys in my class became more friendly, always encouraging me, if I needed assistance I shouldn’t hesitate to let them know. They started to advise me to be more brutal, that I should exert my powers more. Within a few weeks we became real friends. I also noticed that my roommate then, started giving me space.

The SS1 students became hostile too. They started to flout even simple school rules. I didn’t know what was going on. The more they disobeyed, the more my new friends encouraged me to deal ruthlessly with them.

Some of my classmates, especially the ones that I beat to the SP post started to even back the SS1 students and even spread stories of how I was a wicked person.
I couldn’t believe how people who were my friends will suddenly become enemies. I didn’t care though because my new friends had better vibes. After school, we’ll hangout. I insisted I will not smoke weed but I drank alcohol a lot. Some students from ABSU( Abia state uni) will flex us then.

It was after I flogged a girl in SS1 for sagging her school skirt that all hell broke loose. It was later I was told the girl was a viqueen or something like that.

The school was hot. Some teachers wanted me expelled, some insisted I did nothing wrong.

The two cults had been looking for a chance and reason to fight and show which is stronger.

Apparently the Vikings think say I don become Aye member.
Thursday morning, my Aye friends ( I still didn’t know what was happening) dey try tell me say make I know the way I dey move around for school now. I think say nah just normal friendly advice. Thursday evening, I notice say small groups they form for corner dey discuss. Thursday night my roommate tell me say make I no go school early and say make I wait for those my friends before I go school.

Friday morning, I follow my friends enter school. From school assembly everywhere don dey boil.

11 am, SS1 student don burst my classmate head. My classmates dem throw an SS1 student from the 1st floor of our class block reach ground. 12am ABSU students don hang around school gate.

Before the principal fit get things under control, e don degenerate to full cult fight. I was the main target. As I just dey come from staff blocks, like 12 students don block me ( including my classmates oo). See fight. Luckily my guys dem dey around. Even though we were outnumbered, my guys dem strong. An SS1 student comot local pistol point me. How I take escape I still never know because the guy shoot me.

It was raining slightly that day. Two boys pursue me with machetes from school block to hostel. Nah security guys chase dem go back. As I enter room, I collect one well sharpened cutlass say make I go back. As I try jump fence, one of the gatemen hold me. Say make I no use my life play. Thank God I listened to him shaa.
I later hear say the fight later turn to free for all for school until some soldiers come calm everything.
I gats travel home that Friday evening so that all the tension go cool down.

Monday morning, my name dey list of people wey dem expel。
Many guys carry better injury. Some no come school at all and nah exam period.
But nah private school and the proprietor no wan lose students, so dem call emergency PTA meeting.
All the students involved sign undertaken.
Dem come employ two police men for the school.
Tension come calm down.

All along I been think say the fight nah because of envy from some of my classmates oo.
It was after I left the school, my roommate come clear me the reason.
And now we are all friends, including some of the SS2 students.

Only regret now is that, that particular guy wey try shoot me don run mad. Asine the guy nah full blown mad man now roaming the streets for Aba. Heard it was Weed and drugs.

Say no to Cultism!

Do you have a similar experience? Abeg share!

I’ve seen this scenario play out live!

Sometime few years ago in my village, there was this tall old scary prophet of cherubim and seraphim church who died.

This white garment church was on the road to my community primary school. As kids, we were always terrified of passing that church alone. In fact if as a group we are passing and we see that old man, omo see race!

Funny enough, he was my uncle!
His voice was like thunder!

I don’t know if it was because we were kids then but everything about the man terrified us.

On his burial day, see heavy rain!
Even the grave wey dem dig, water don dey cover am
Naso some leaders of the church from different parts of Nigeria ( because I heard the man was a spiritual head of the church) come together, come raise that their staff wey dem Dey carry.

Naso thunder strike, rain stop once!
This thing happened live!


My community also have some rain makers/stoppers but the art don dey go into extinction.


So this could be true.