₦airaland Forum

Happy new year to me. I'm 28 today. No be football age o! Lol.

I went to a photo-studio yesterday and literally jumped for joy. You can see the moment captured in the picture. Lol.

Please bear with me. I'll update you all on business as well as reply your questions and comments as soon as I can. Many thoughts and ideas are battling like Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton in my mind right now.

Let's look at salary from another perspective. Someone once argued that salary-earners actually achieve more with their money than self-employed people. In the sense that salary comes in bulk at the end of the month and therefore it's easier to save and re-invest. While daily income comes in bit by bit and is used to solve daily needs and expenses.

Moreover, many salary-earners form saving co-operatives and are entitled to allowances, pension and loans.

In conclusion, I prefer being an entrepreneur or business-owner to being a salary-earner. Nevertheless, I think it's best to combine the two if possible. As salary-earners enjoy more financial security than business-owners or entrepreneurs. While business-owners or entrepreneurs enjoy more financial freedom.

Whether we accept it or not, blogging is the new journalism.

Many Nigerians don't understand the difference between and wordpress.org. Lol.

I started the small business today. I've been thinking about it long before now. I would've started it in August but I decided to wait until students return from their long holiday. They're returning now. Agbani is no longer as dull as it was last month and two months ago.

What is this small business I'm talking about? It's a business that deals with stomach infrastructure (as Fayose go talk. Lol). I mean FOOD BUSINESS. As in, beans and plantain. Believe it or not, I've improved drastically and exponentially in my beans-cooking skills. Lol. Thanks to the internet. Thanks also to my cousin and neighbours who tasted my beans and scored it high.

I initially wanted to be cooking rice which I noticed students love eating. However, I gave up on rice after scoring my rice-cooking F9 over and over again. Lol. Besides, I don't enjoy rice that much. Doesn't it make more sense for me to cater to fellow beans-lovers? Isn't it better I cook what I'll gladly download into my stomach even if people refuse to buy it? Lol.

From my observation of Agbani, every thing food moves here. Jollof rice, fried rice, rice and stew, garri/fufu and soup, okpa, moimoi, just name it. Students eat a lot and are lazy to cook by themselves. Even if them manage cook sef, na indomie. Lol.

I initially planned to be selling my beans and plantain every evening but after launching it today, I think I'll take a break this week and do it again next Sunday. Though my neighbours are advising me to sell it every morning. They say people prefer eating beans in the morning to eating it in the afternoon/evening.

I'm still contemplating if I should leave this clothes business totally after this year. I've sat down in my shop without selling a single item for two long weeks now. I come dey wonder if na bad-market juju person do me sef. Lol. Honestly, it's not encouraging at all.

GOOD NEWS:
The Eke Agbani mama sold the three ugu pods I gave her. She said she sold them N1,300. So I took N1,000 and told her to keep N300.

Still on the ugu matter, I've expanded the Agbani garden. I planted the ugu in four cement bags inside the uncompleted building in the compound. Can you believe I caught a tiny snake while I was clearing the soil there. I no know whether na baby snake o! But I'm 100% sure it's not an earthworm. Lol.

BAD NEWS:
I've sold my village container. I sold it N68,000 (sixty eight thousand naira). It's a big loss for me and a huge gain for the buyer. (He would've spent about N120,000 if he chose to construct, floor, roof and pay rent for a new container now that things are more Buharized. All he needs to do now is call a welder to repair the damage and pay the rent to the land-owners). I gave my cousin N3,000 for bringing the buyer. Eye wey see go chop na. Lol.

The only good thing about the sale is that I now have the N50,000 (fifty thousand naira) I'll use to pay my shop rent (N30,000) and house rent (N20,000) next year. I can also use the remaining N15,000 to venture into another small business here in Agbani.

This is interesting. If this is true, then rice smugglers are indeed desperate. Lol. Or could it be that the government may have leaked out the false news to see how Nigerians will react to it?

I was actually disappointed when I heard of the reversal. Not because I supported the ban in the first place but because a reversal will do too much damage to local investments into rice farming and production.

We need stability in policies more than anything. Stability will attract foreign investors to come to Nigeria and set up rice farms.

Stability will attract a serious investor to either partner with me on my palm plantation here in Enugu or to buy the plantation for N5million and inter-crop it with rice. Agriculture is indeed the future.

Hmmm... You've lashed two comedians in one review. Lol.

However, I'd still love to see that Bovi's movie because I've always wished he was the lead in 30 Days in Atlanta. I believe he would have played the role far better than AY.

If you've watched Bovi in the "Extended Family" series, you go understand wetin I mean. Please google "Bovi Extended Family". Bovi is a very funny actor. Lol.

This plain beans prepared with groundnut oil sounds very interesting. Naijathings, have you experimented it yet?

Aydelicious, the third recipe you're hiding must be fried beans abi? Lol. I already know how to prepare it. It's the most delicious of the three. Though ewa-agoyin should be included as a fourth beans recipe.

aydelicious:
Okay.
I will teach you Three ways you can use to cook Your beans and the recipe
the first recipe of the beans,is call plain beans
the recipe follows
=>1 derica of beans
=>1 cube of Maggi
=>3 level of teaspoons of salt
=>1 medium of onions
=>185cl of water
= > 2 teaspoons of groundnut oil
the cooking arrangement
first things you will Do you will remove the shaft from the beans
Now place your pot on a cooking gas,add your water of 185cl in to the pot,cover it to boil
when is boiling now add your beans to it and slice the medium onion to it,cover it to cook about 25 minutes
after 25 minutes open it and add 2 teaspoons of groundnut oil and one cube of Maggi and 3 level of teaspoons of salt cover it to cook till soft the
the beans is ready to serve.


The second recipe of beans,is call Beans Porridge
the ingredients recipe follows
=> 1 derica of beans
=> 1/4 of palm oil
= > 2 level of teaspoons of salt
= >1 and half of cube of Maggi
= > grounded pepper of 30 naira or 1 service spoon of fresh pepper
=>1 big onion
=>250cl of water
= >small amount of ginger
= > small amount of garlic
= > pinch of nutmeg
=>1 cup of tin milk of grayfish,the yellow one ni ooooo
=>I want you to be noticed that all the spices content has salt in it so that when you are adding it to your cooking you must be careful by using the pinch of it.
let us now start to cook our beans Porridge
the first things you Will Do, you will select the shaft from the beans.
then grayfish too,you remove the hands and the scales of it
now boil the water,when the water is boild,now turn it to the grayfish you have peeled,
when you have do that,place then at a side
then your onion, your garlic and ginger,you will now grate then together
Now place your pot on a cooking gas and add your 250cl of water in to it,wait till water boil then add your beans to it and the onion, garlic, ginger you have grated to it
let it cook about 25 minutes open it,if is somehow soft,now add your salt,pinch of nutmeg and 1 and half of cube of Maggi with free pepper or grounded pepper cover it to cook about 4 or 5 minutes
Now open it to add your palm oil and the grayfish, to steam with the beans about 5 or 7 minutes,as you are looking it ,you too you will know is ready to serve.

I don't like your domain name at all. You need a better one that'll be simple and sounds more business-like for your niche. Contact me so that we can brainstorm.

Nwanne m, how are you doing? How is Buhari's economy treating you? I hope FELLEP is still on course.

I finally paid the N2,200 (two thousand two hundred naira) to the Enugu State Waste Management Agency yesterday. This is actually the only levy/tax I'm happy to pay for. They come every Thursday to collect refuse. I think the N185 per month (N2,200 divided by 12) they charged me is a highly subsidized fee for the wonderful job they're doing. As for the local government levy (N1,600) and state government levy (N2,000) which I previously paid for, I no know wetin I dey gain from them sef. Lol.

Remember the ugu pods I harvested? I sold four of them last Thursday for N500 (five hundred naira) to an ugu seeds seller at Eke Agbani market. I was hoping to get at least N800 but I quickly took the money when I saw the gigantic ugu pods they had on display there. . She told me they even had much bigger ones before.

Did I tell you that my Agbani landlord saw the garden I constructed in his compound that same day? Lol. I was in my room when I overheard him asking my neighbour,

Landlord: Who did this?

Neighbour: John

Landlord: What is he doing?

Neighbour: He said he wants to plant ugu there.

Landlord: Ok

Few minutes later, I went to his house and gave him one ugu pod, some grapes and oranges.

Me: Good afternoon sir. See what I brought for you from the village.

Landlord: Thank you.

I was relieved that he didn't bring up the garden issue. The gift was supposed to serve as a bribe and silencer anyway. Lol. The surprise came about two days later when he called me.

Landlord: The Johnny, what will you use to fertilize the ugu you planted?

Me: I'm planning to use those weeds I uprooted.

Landlord: Won't it be better if you use the waste from our poultry?

Me: Yes, yes! That'll will be much better sir.

Landlord: Ok, don't worry. We'll give it to you when next we clear the poultry.

Me: Thank you sir.

Wow! What a pleasant surprise. He kept his word and gave me a cement-bag almost filled with the poultry waste few days later. I guess he's happy that my garden makes his compound neater and of course he knows he'll benefit from the ugu too. Afterall, I must operate this my small government on a you-chop-I-chop PDP system if I no want wahala. Lol.

TomorrowToday:
OP is good you questioned them.

Did the said ministry of works inform you guys on the proposed laying of fibre cable before the labourers started?
If not you guys should resist it especially where it will warrant the digging spoiling your properties.

Again, I hope your shop and those of others around you are not the type that extends beyond where is legally permissible. Converting pedestrian walkways to stands where you display your goods. If that is the case. Then you guys are at fault.

No, we weren't informed.

Our shops are not on the pedestrian walkways.

Please watch the videos and see the photos I posted above to get a clearer picture of everything. Thanks.

The men came back this morning but we were there to make sure they didn't encroach into our space. They dug other people's shop fronts as most the shop owners were absent and their shops closed because today is Sunday.

This picture shows one of the men digging.

Here's a 45seconds video of us arguing with the MTN contractors yesterday: https://www.datafilehost.com/d/347e0634

While here, is another very short video of me explaining what's going on: https://www.datafilehost.com/d/c5fde489

This is happening now as I'm typing this. It all started yesterday when some men were digging beside the gutter along Enugu road here at Agbani. They'd done the same digging last year for Globacom. So we assumed it was Globacom again.

Real trouble begun however when they suddenly abandoned the digging they were doing on the road side of the gutter and started to dig on the other side of the gutter near our shops. When we confronted the supervisor of the men. He explained that they couldn't continue on the road side of the gutter because that side belongs to Globacom.


Us: So who are you working for now?

Him: MTN

Us: Did you get permission to do this?

Him: Yes, we have papers from the Ministry of Works authorizing us to do this.

Us: Did they also give you permission to destroy our shops?

Him: We're not here to destroy anything. We just want to lay the MTN cable and go.

Us: But you're destroying our tiles and cemented floors in the process.

Him: We also have permission from the Agbani Market executives.

Us: We don't belong to the Agbani Market Union. That is the Agbani market over there. (Pointing there) This is Enugu road. We have no business with them.

Him: Look at the papers. (Showing it to us)

Us: How will MTN compensate us for the damages you'll cause us? That is the main issue. Because Glo damaged the other side last year and left without even covering it properly.

As it stands now, we're not satisfied with their papers and explanation. MTN is a multi-national South African private company doing business in Nigeria. We are local small and medium businesses paying our taxes and trying to grow our nation's economy in our own little ways.

Did the Ministry of Works truly grant MTN permission to bury their cables at our own side of the gutter? Why can't the government make provision for all these communication companies to bury their cables at the road side of the gutter where there'll be no damage to local businesses?

NOTE: In the first and second pictures are the two men in charge of the contract. The third and fourth pictures show the MTN cable.

Good morning o! I ventured into urban-farming today. I've started a small vegetable garden in the Agbani compound where I live and do business. The space is beside the toilet and bathroom. We also dump refuse near it. I'll upload a picture and video of it later. My free mb finished yesterday. Lol.

While clearing the weeds, I discovered that the ground is actually german-floored. You'd never know by merely looking at it. (I wish I remembered to take a picture of it before I started) So I arranged the soil in a u-shaped style around the german-flooring and planted 13 ugu seeds. I also transplanted some water-leaf and tomato plants growing all over the compound.

I haven't told my landlord yet. I want him to see it when it begins growing.
Then If he asks, "John, what is all this?"
I'll say, "Sir, I thought it's better we use this space instead of leaving it for weeds and mosquitoes."
If he replies, "But why didn't you ask me for permission as the landlord?"
I'll apologise saying, "I'm sorry sir. I wanted to surprise you. You and your family are always free to use the leaves for cooking."
I hope our conversation goes like that sha. Lol.

I advice all of you to plant ugu and water-leaf at your backyards o! Shebi Buhari said change begins with us? At least by having small vegetable gardens, we go get small change for pocket wey we fit use do another thing. Lol.

Updated (October 1st):
The video and the picture was on September 25th when I started the garden. Download and watch the short video here: https://www.datafilehost.com/d/85fb8c33

I went to the village yesterday. Did I inform you people that I cut my egusi gourds open last time? Well, I was following the Eke-Agbani mama's instruction on how to process egusi manually. She said I should break the gourds, leave them for about a week to rot, wash and sieve the seeds out with a basket and then finally spread it to dry. Thank you Mama.

It's my first experience in egusi-processing. I've posted the pictures of the process. The egusi seeds are not much. But at least e go dey enough to prepare one pot of egusi soup. Lol.

Meanwhile, Papa has started dismantling the motorcycle o! He said it's better if he sells off the parts little by little so that he'll raise my N10,000. I can't wait to receive bank alert gbagam like Psquare. Lol.

NOETHNICITY:
Intend to establish a palm plantation. Have already bought jus an acre of land. Need 4 more.

My father wants to sell his palm plantation located in Enugu near ESUT Agbani. Contact me (call/whatsapp 09095000603) if you're interested. I'll take you there and show it to you.

I want to say a big thank you to all of you for following my business story. E no easy to read from page 1 to 8 true true.

September 18th (that's the day after tomorrow) will make it seven months since I opened my Agbani shop. Hmmm... If to sey I be pregnant woman, I go born by November, abi? Lol. Coincidentally, November 2nd is my birthday. (Make una start to prepare my birthday gift o! Lol)

Most importantly, October, November and December is supposed to be our peak season in this clothes business. In preparation, I've made a signboard/banner displaying my website and phone number. I wanted to do a standard signboard/banner but all the artists I visited here in Agbani charge from N1,000 to N3,500. So I decided to save cost by buying two cardboard papers (N80), a ruler (N50) and gum (N150) and doing it myself with the carton, scissors, razor blade and celotape that I already had. Thank God we were taught how to do it many years ago by our Fine Arts teacher in secondary school. Lol.

Guess what? I recorded a 28seconds video of my shop this morning. It's about 500kb. It's my own way of Instagraming. Lol. If you want to watch it, download it from this link: https://www.datafilehost.com/d/b5d40cad

Meanwhile, can someone help me beg Mark Zuckerberg to jettison this his plan of stopping my Nokia Asha210 from Whatsapping by December 31st? I wish he'd come to Enugu when he visited Nigeria, I for don warn am make him no put sand-sand for my garri o! Lol. Does he know how much Whatsapp is helping me in this business? Doesn't he know how expensive android phones are, especially in this Buhari economy? Mark Zuckerberg biko, na beg I dey beg you sir.

Your advice is great but you generalized too much.

Do you know that some successful hardworking rich guys are also sending PMs to girls online? It's because they hope to find a wife-material who doesn't know their financial worth and will love them for real.

I went to my village yesterday. I've been at Agbani since August 14th. No be sey I prefer to dey stay for Agbani o! It's just that this Buhari's recession dey bite person bad bad. Lol. Worst still, the motorcycle I bought is still dead and my cousin doesn't open his shop everyday anymore. That means I can't afford to shuttle from Amurri to Agbani and back to Amurri everyday.

Papa, the man that sold the motorcycle to me, is yet to repair it. My cousin convinced me not to pay him any additional money until I'm sure that the motorcycle can at least start. When I told Papa, he agreed, asked me to give him N300 (three hundred naira) to buy petrol to wash the engine and even promised to refund my N10,000 (ten thousand naira) if I'm no longer interested in the purchase. I'm still waiting for the fulfilment of his promise. Lol.

As I was saying, when I got home to my village, weeds and grasses had overtaken my farm. The blocks I'd used to create a pillar for the ugu stakes to lean on had collapsed. I suspect a heavy wind. One of my ugu pods had totally rotted while the others were scattered all over the ground. I had to harvest them this morning. Fifteen ugu pods in all. I brought three of the biggest ones to Agbani today to show the the kind Eke Agbani Mama.

Me: Mama, I told you my ugu were producing pods before abi? See some of them o!

Mama: Heeey! Yes, this is my personal ugu. Very big, heavy and fruitful. Not all those other ugu they sell in the market.

Me: Mama, this your ugu is really wonderful. Please how do I sell it?

Mama: I'll ask the seed-sellers tomorrow. Tomorrow is Eke. But if they don't price it well, you'll keep it till the end of this month. By that time, you'll sell it higher.

Me: Ok, thank you Mama.

Meanwhile, you've all been praising my writing skills abi? I entered for the Etisalat Flash Fiction prize on September 9th o! Get ready to vote for me by fire by force when voting begins. I must win the £1,000 or £500 prize. Thank you all in advance. Lol.

Today makes it exactly six months since I opened my Agbani shop on February 18th. I thank God for John's journey so far. Even though it's been so buharific these days. Lol.

I suggest that the CBN should consider printing ONE NAIRA and TWO NAIRA notes. Doing that would reduce the cost of so many things from the usual approximated N10 to say N7 or N8. I think that's another way to curb inflation.

Meanwhile, why is no one thinking of producing a 30cl purewater (half the size of the present ones) that can be sold at N5?

My cousin called me last Saturday to give me bad news.

Him: Somebody wants to buy this your container o!

Me: How much?

Him: One million! (people laughing)

Me: You no serious. (smiling) Where you dey?

Him: I dey drink with some guys. One girl had an accident and crashed into your container today o!

Me: Are you serious? Or are you joking?

Him: Serious. She didn't injure but she really damaged the container.

Me: I hope her people have money. So that they'll repair it or better still buy it.

Him: (laughing)

After the call, I was still doubting the news because I wasn't sure if my cousin was joking. Then on Monday, the guy who wanted to buy the container N65,000 called me to report the same bad news. Oh no! When I told him to take the container now for N80,000, he told me his wife wants a bigger container. No wonder he was stubbornly offering me N65,000 before.

It's just this morning I got to see the damage by myself. I've been in Agbani since last week. I heard the girl was learning how to ride the motorcycle when the accident happened. I would've been singing "Tinubu, you don hit my car, oyibo repete..." by now if her people were rich. Lol. Unfortunately, I heard she's an orphan.

Worse still, she and her grandmother are even preparing to come and beg me for mercy. Nawa o! This one na double wahala for deadi body and the owner of deadi body. Sighs.

This my father's big house makes people think we're swimming in money. Lol. I wish they could see how I was running away from my Agbani shop last week. I narrowly dodged paying the N1,500 (or is it even N2,000?) security levy when the vigilante men where going from shop to shop seizing goods in order to force us to pay.

Sweetcollins:
Check Igbo dictionary too

Engli-Igbo makeri nnukwu sense (IGbotic mixture)
Just legodi:
1-->SENDiaram airtime
2-->HELPutum juo ya
3-->SITigodi down
4-->STANDigodi up
5-->SHIFTuoro m
6-->Ha eCLOSEzula the shop
7-->I na eDISTURB m biko or eDISTURBzilam biko
8-->CHECKie m in next five minutes
9-->I REACHie gi agwam
10-->Achorom I ENTERgodi bike
11-->Ihe I na eSPEAKi sef
12-->akam na eTHINKi ya
13-->A dim BUSY kita, a gam aCALLugi back
14-->after anyi eDISCUSSuo ya
15-->eGIVEkwana up
16-->TAKEie time gi
17-->chere kam PARKia motor m
18-->achorom iga WATCHia match
19-->SETTLuom biko
20-->STARTia the gen
ADDia your own
Lolz

Wow! A LOVEulum what you wrote here. You're really a professor of engili-Igbo. Lol. Please could you create a new thread for this?

Since you'll soon be heading to the university, I'll advice you to start selling okirika ladies' wears. Chiffon tops, bum shorts, leggings, girdles, gowns etc. That's if you have a good fashion sense and can select nice clothes your fellow girls will like to buy.

When you're going to school, you can still pack them into your bag and sell it to your course-mates, neighbours and friends when you get there.

If you could introduce agege bread to the South East, especially near universities and other tertiary institutions, I think it be a better idea. It'll most likely entail baking the agege bread in that same location instead of transporting it all the way from Lagos. It'll also make sense to import people who can prepare ewa-agoyin to accompany it.

Those of us who are/were Lagosians and those who want to taste the legendary agege bread will definitely patronize you.

It's funny how little drops of spending make a mighty ocean of expenses. Nawa o!

A man was just killed about an hour ago by some unknown gunmen near my shop at Agbani. I was woken up from my nap by the sound of the gunshots.

The man was probably a lawyer going by the NBA sticker I saw on his windshield. According to eyewitnesses, the gunmen parked, one of them came down, corked his gun, marched to the man seated in his car and ordered him to come down. The man looked at the gunman defiantly and was shot as he tried to speed off.

At first, eyewitnesses thought the man had odeshi and had escaped unhurt. Unfortunately, he crashed with his car a short distance from the scene of the shooting.

Nobody knows if the gunmen were armed robbers, kidnappers or assassins. They shot again into the air as they drove off.

Make God save us for this Agbani o! And to think that I was considering opening my shop for business today. Today's Eke and I wanted to open shop for the first time on a Sunday. Thank God I succumbed to the strange drowsiness I felt at about 2pm.

I am an angel. You are an angel.