₦airaland Forum

JoeCutie:
I hate all these threads and so much unnecessary talks of virginity and sex.

See... You already know what you want.
Do you actually want me to tell you to have sex or not to have sex? Like I'm the one to experience that 'Oh-My-God' sort'orgasm...

If you want to f*ck, f#ck. If you don't want to f#ck, then f#ck off!

Almost brutal, but absolutely spot on. I think she's already doing what she wants to do.


By the way, what do you mean by "Oh-My-God sort of orgasm"?

JoeCutie:
Aww. Now I want to get married.

And what are you waiting for?

JoeCutie:
Your head dey there jare.
We are Nigerians, and we don't leave our doors unlocked when making love. We no be oyinbo. Even many of those rubbish we see on Nollywood movies are so un-Nigerian.

JoeCutie:
Please, slap him for me. I could borrow you my hand if yours isn't heavy enough.

That man is an ignorant goat. He's so insensitive to the real game of his immediate society. I hate his guts. I hate his big mouth even more.

Me too.

I swear to God, if I have my way, I'd slap this good-for-nothing pathetic FFK. Dirty slap!

Ewu Gambia.

Everything Ghana, must go. Whether Presidential aircraft or motorcade, they must go.

I pity this woman but she doesn't know. Out of my goodwill and magnanimity, I secretly cry for her. She's not even appreciative. Very incorrigible and undisciplined first lady.

1. Your boss
2. Your supervisor's wife
It's really none of your business, you know...


By the way, why is it that it's only Nairalanders that experience this kind of thing? They sit down at home, crack their brains, and come up with a story that's almost convincing for those that'd buy it, come to Nairaland and make front page. Hmmm.

I know Nigerians. We lock the door before playing this kinda love play. We no be oyinbo.

Next!

Awww, she's adorable.

Forgive my idiocy, but sometimes I do wonder whether God truly created some of us in His own image and likeness. They can't just be loved.

Sometimes it's very easy to hate our 'neighbour' and still love God, or rather, claim to love God. We don't see God, we see people. We don't feel God or His presence very directly (unless one is in the realm of the spirit) but we feel people. These people behave in a certain manner that's only worthy of hate, not love.

How do we control this?

JoeCutie:
I was there when it happened.

Diego Costa
Cesc Fabregas
Felipe Luis
Nemanja Matic
Kurt Zouma
Juan Caudrado
Thibaut Courtois

The above guys counted it as their number ONE. And the first of MANY trophies to rain on their lovely careers, in so far as they loyally remain with Chelsea FC, under the tutorship of the 'Special One' - the ONE and ONLY Jose Mourinho.

Well done, lads. What a team.
CapitalOneCupChampions
#CFCFamily.

Hey, Joe love.
Yeah, congratulations to all of us, the glorious blue gentlemen and ladies.
We did it. That was the first of many more trophies to come. And the pick of the weekend was watching Man City lose to Liverpool. It was a perfect weekend.

I actually went with a friend to the viewing center to really feel the match. I soaked in the moment with a bottle of Smoove Chapman drink and cake.

Meanwhile, I saw your latest dp. You look cute and fresh. Soft boy.

hensben:
ehen! Ok,Through my banana, I have enough kunu in my banana that can produce triplet.. ..come and get it, offer last till 6 months time.

You're unseriously funny.

I only take Banana if it's taken with groundnut.

All these lists here and there do not make sense to me.
Two people who are in love should know exactly how they feel about each other. They should know the things that make them happy. They should know the things which are romantic or foolish.

All these things, I think, are relative. How they appear to me might not be how they appear to you. Sequel to that, I'd say; whatever rocks your boat. Just find a way to make yourselves happy, and stay happy. Above all, happiness is what stands out...for me.

Yes, they exist. And believe me, they are plenty.
Most times, we girls jump into conclusion like we are jumping into a pool. We are fast in accusing and condemning the guys, but a good number of them are trying. It's not easy, you know.

Whether or not your guy would be faithful to you, having accepted a no-sex relationship, also depends on how you treat him. Treat him well, and see how he'd surprise you. Nothing is impossible. Just try and influence that possibility. Don't exploit him too, just because he promised to be faithful. He'd surprise you negatively. Remember...nothing is impossible.

slimmy05:
and in your dull brain, this is all you can put forth. Keep taking selfie, don't go and be productive

Thanks, love.

hensben:
You can, come make I donate for you.

Donation? Lmao. I don't know that pregnancy could be donated oh. Okay, how would you do that?

JoeCutie:
Omg! Juliet, I hope you know how sweet you are. You're a beautiful soul, with a lovely heart. Thank you.

As for the collection, umm...okay, just hide it somewhere, where nobody can see it for now, and we'd figure that out later. Thanks again.

Thanks, darl. I'm happy you're okay with it.


Maybe I'll keep it in the bank so that nobody can see it.

JoeCutie:
This is quite impressive. A rare nice gesture.
But then there are FOUR major reasons why she could do that.

1.) Good heart.
She's good by nature. She's intrinsically good, and effortlessly too. Taking the money would taunt her good heart for a very long time and she couldn't afford that.

2.) Fear of being caught.
The money had been forgotten/left/lost before she saw it, I know. But then if it was later realized that she saw and bundled in such a huge amount of money, the story would have changed. It could cost her her job, you know? C'mon, this is Naija. They would have given it so many silly interpretations. She wouldn't want this, so the easiest thing was to return it.

3.) Ignorance (or better put, confusion).
For a woman-cleaner to be on a #7,500 a monthly salary? Oh, don't tell me she's one of those people that finished from school and then...no job. No. She didn't go to school. Okay, possibly. She wouldn't know how to use this money. At first, she would be confused and in total shock - in awe of the huge amount of money she's seen. So the only option would be to return this money...and be at peace with herself.

4.) Fame.
And this she's got. Before she started work, she must have been oriented as to what's expected of her. The code and conduct of her work. Again, she would have heard stories about people who returned money, how they were rewarded and consequently, became famous. That their doors opened too. She couldn't afford to miss this chance - because she knew, or rather, she was convinced that she would be settled for this. She equally thought about the prospect of her life changing for the better, with this opportunity. She couldn't miss this opportunity. Now, she's famous. The owner of the money she returned would undoubtedly, reward her. The airport authorities might (or rather,should) reward her. And now, the Lagos state house of assembly is planning to honour her. You see...Government Money!

Finally, she did what she did because of either or all of the above reasons. But whatever be the case, she's a woman with a golden heart. She deserves all the recognitions she's getting, and even more. We need more of her type in this country.

If it were me, I would do exactly what she did. Yes, I would return the money. Not because I'm a good guy, but because I know that there would be a reward. Again, because I know that God is watching. I'm just being honest here.

God bless Nigeria.

The Philosopher!

How you critically, meticulously, philosophically and intelligently analyse points is a joy to see. It's a clear work of a philosopher; I'm not surprised.

After reading this, I couldn't help but agree in toto with you. Nice and salient points.

JoeCutie:
Wait, Olamide be wan resemble Fela small oh... Check it again.



By the way, why did he not shave his aji? See as his underground region be like Sambisa forest.

Aji?!

What is aji?

JoeCutie:
How would a grown up in the University be so dumb and clueless not to know that she should calm down and jejely check the item she's buying inside out at the place of purchase, before paying and taking her item? Pathetic. And to think of what she's bought - an iPhone 6 that's worth thousands of Naira? Stupidity!

If I'm buying a phone that costly, I must in the very presence of the seller, dismember the whole thing. Or better still, I'd ask him/her to do it themselves before I pay, to avoid stories that touch. I'd even use the phone to call Nigeria, USA, Canada, China, Australia, UAE, Brazil, Jamaica etc just to make sure it reaches everywhere. I'd do all these things before I pay and collect the Phone.

Or did she buy it online? Even at that, I'd pay on delivery. And before I pay, the agent has to open the Phone so that the both of would take a clearer and more thorough examination before handing out my hard earned money.

Oh, why would she even go for an iPhone 6 now? Naija girls! Mtcheww.

My thoughts exactly. How could she not have checked before carrying it home? Dumb.

JoeCutie:
I used to think that this is impossible, but I've come to realize how very possible it is.

Now Playing:
I knew I loved you - Savage Garden

Download and listen to this song. It would explain a whole lot to you.

Same here.

She looks beautiful, with swagger.


I wish I could have my own pregnancy now.

This same thing almost happened to me some time ago. All these night crusade, night Virgil, and night whatever ehn...

Thank God I escaped.

Chai! These ones ehn, they can even rush to a corner and have a straight quickie, while the ceremony goes on. As e dey hot!

Shoki!

milky3:
Its your business u must finish it b4 handling over

As in ehn...


The same clueless government headed by the most clueless President told us how they killed an imaginary Shekau last year. God is watching.

Awww, it's very clear that the Chibok girls have all been forgotten. All attentions now turn to Shekau, whom I'm very sure they can't find. How pathetic.

A country that God created to be the finest, with all the resources - all the good things of life - is now being turn to an object of mockery. Indeed, there was a country. And she had a President.

kiwi5:
Nice! But the hand and the head looks scary in the pot.

Like your hand and head abi?

JoeCutie:
A wrist watch for me?
You can't be serious, are you?


Morning, dear. How was your night?

I'm serious. Very serious. A beautiful chain watch which I'm sure you'd like. Should I snap it and show you?

I still don't know how to get it across to you though.

okzcorp:
Smallpeepee, Uncle?

Yeah. You got any problem with that?