₦airaland Forum

sanpipita:
Things like unsolicited nudes and lewd texts count as non physical harassment but these men don't want to learn, they want to continue harassing women at will, I really hope Izu didnt get himself into any of these because the girl that accused him seems very adamant

Thank you! I forgot about sending nude pictures sef. There are many types of non-physical sexual harassment that are also traumatizing to women.

Ibime:
Which one be harassment again? Hian Homesteady.

So being bad at toasting is now a crime for ugly oloshos to be using your name to campaign all over Twitter.

From the so-called harassment texts, what I saw was a guy who was just weak at toasting and had no humour. Probably a V sef.

Back in the day, the girl would just call him a weirdo, block his number and move on. This generation go drag you all over Twitter.

Anyway, the guy weak and was too caught up in his online persona. May his soul RIP.

Maybe the women back in the day should have dragged men and spoken up. It’s sad he lost his life but downplaying and dismissing verbal sexual harassment is not cool. You’re a man, you will never know the impact of a verbal sexual harassment on women. So, it’s not in your place to decide how women should receive or accept it, because it’s non physical doesn’t mean it can’t be as damaging.

MrBrownJay1:
such woman is a burden, and her tittays are a burden too... imagine the kms of tittays you have to suck to turn this one on? imagine the weight on her shoulder/back all the time? imagine having to run from danger while with a woman like that (certain death)?

i wont even dwell about the smell under/in/around them tittays.....kai too much work!

take my word for it, the minute she lays on her back and take of her bra, one tittay will lay on the bed on the left side of her body, while the other tittay will rest on the bed on the other side of her body. DISGUSTING SIGHT!!!!

[img]https://media1./images/afbf7ce4d1336389ce5aa767256ab98f/tenor.gif[/img]

What you find disgusting is another man’s treasure. Leave her be!

That’s how it should be. What’s the point making an already bad situation worse? Most parents that are overly strict on their children, do so because of what people will think. They place other people’s opinions/gossip/judgement above the welfare of their own children. There are women that had children out of wedlock that went on to do great things.

I know other tribes mock Yorubas for this but I love my liberal Yoruba upbringing.

eyinjuege:
Sorry to say, but your husband is a control freak.
For your peace of mind and his own too, avoid doing chochochocho- meaning learn to keep your mouth shut and don't discuss certain issues with him/decisions you've made.
He is not ready for any form of communication, so don't waste your time with that.
You can always find other things to gist about as a couple, but avoid things you know he thinks in his warped mind he should have the power over.
While at this, always prepare for any eventuality, because he may well carry out his threat about leaving the marriage.



What you have mentioned should have been a red flag NOT to marry him, though unfortunately it was too close to the marriage ceremony. You didn't do anything wrong or untrustworthy.
It's a pity he either doesn't trust your decision making abilities or he has an over inflated ego which I suspect the latter is the case. Anyway, learn to make financially prudent decisions for yourself, and keep quiet about it so far it's your money. I'm sure he is ready to always question any decision you make regarding money you have worked for even though it doesn't affect the running of your home. If he doesn't like you asking others to remeber him in prayers, then don't do it. But that shouldn't stop you from asking others to pray for your own self if that's what you want/believe in.

Exactly! I wouldn’t be surprised if he has spent many five thousand nairas over without telling her. Her best option is to keep quiet and make her own decisions as long it’s her money. What is N5,000 that a grown woman cannot mindlessly spend without having to seek permission??

Really OP? Your family want to mark his twin girls with a fetish tribal mark and you expect the man not to take his girls and run?? I am sorry if I am the man I would do the same, any access to the girls is enough time to give them the mark. It’s not everyone that believes in mumbo jumbo and for those that believe are freaked when it’s coming from a source they aren’t familiar with.

Acidosis,

Who or what is an anti-moralist? Whose morals aren’t they adhering to?

Rape is a crime not a punishment.

If Nigerians spent less time policing other people’s private lives and actually speak up when an actual CRIME is committed, we might have a better Nigeria today.

Her boss had no business or right to rifle through her personal inbox and you shouldn’t be okay with bosses firing their employees because of their personal life (except the ones that violates a company’s official code of conduct). It’s one thing to give counsel but to fire them because of their private life choices..if bosses are allowed to have that power, no one will be working in Nigeria.

dchem:
Are you aware abortion is a crime?

Yes, I am aware and it’s up to 14 years in prison. The person I quoted listed a host of personal choices that aren’t crimes, which I don’t believe should justify dismissal. His only reference to abortion was “lying to obtain abortion money”.

You actually have it backwards, Nigerians will never mind their business when it comes to people’s lives and their personal choices e.g when to marry? When to have a child? How many children? Etc. However they will look the other way when a crime is committed, e.g 419, domestic violence, rape etc.

Just like you OP, you’re seriously comparing criminals committing a crime to a young girl’s private life?? Her boss has no business with how she lives her life, his only business is how she does the job she’s been paid to do.

HarunaWest:
are you a man?

Are you Everyman?

HarunaWest:
My dear everyman cheats..Even if she divorces him and marries someone else, he would still cheat...She should just sit him down and talk to him probably he will become a better psersony..The matter sef tire me

FALSE

Speak for yourself only.

No Regrets, unless the man turned out to be undeserving.

The truth is rape cases men and women, boy and girl are not taken seriously in Nigeria. How many underage girls are being raped right now in their homes that’re largely swept under the carpet? Underaged maids raped by oga, maid sent back to village, rape swept under the carpet.

For adult rape, the victim is shut down quickly as a liar, and for for the man, he is laughed at by his fellow men and not believed by men and women that think men can’t be raped.

The only time Nigeria stands still for any rape case is when it’s fatal/brutal. If Uwa had survived, I doubt this thread will exist. The only time most men remember male rape is when female rape news is trending.

too soon.

Sorry for your loss.

Sad, another story on a greedy family trying to reap where they did not sow. Unfortunately these kind of family battles are hard to fight on your own, you have to recruit another uncle or uncles to help you because you will need them to bury your father.

Lastly, secure all financial documents and assets.

I agree, for conservative women that believe in the traditional roles of a wife and a husband in a marriage pitching in financially while also performing their traditional roles as wife is doing double duty.

Coder2Client:
There is joy in having male kids not that female kids can't be great but what parents always want especially father is someone to keep his name

Let’s be real how long does a family name really last? How many of them last more than four generations? Most people I know their current surname started with their grandfather. There’s a current trend now of men giving their children their first name as surname or hyphenating with their first name.

We need to be content with what we cannot control. When we die and leave this world nothing else matters, the only name that survives multiple generations for many years are names with legacy, names your progenies are proud to continue.

It’s unfortunate your mother is allowing her own bad experience affect her relationship with you, she transferred the hurt to her children.

If you can find a way to live your life as best as you can without allowing your mother’s toxicity seep in your life please do so.

Also, it seems your experience has made you fear what your husband’s reaction will be, if he hasn’t given you any reason to, then tell him, not all men turn evil if they don’t have sons. Some know they have a role to play in determining the sex. I think you should tell him and let him get used to the idea before you give birth.

Mariangeles:
Believe me, this is your most humane comment on this thread, even though you're being sarcastic.

Lmao, I see I am starting to live rent free in your head.

You go about following monikers you disapprove of their opinions thread to thread, girl, get a life.

So because I am unwilling to follow the bandwagon and judge the aunty harshly based on the OP, that’s why you’re triggered?

Like you care about the OP. Where is your humane comment to the OP? How does this your comment help him?

Twenty8:
But if you had treated him well, we won't have to be reading his tales.

True, will treat him well next time.

Right now, you guys are not compatible doesn’t mean she’s a bad person, she just doesn’t fit into your current plans. If she’s affecting the current goals you have for your business then you have to let her go, if you guys are meant to be then you guys will reconnect.

aeion:
The fact that the gateman locked the gate on the OP after he introduced himself meant she had likely told him beforehand not to open the gate for the OP/for anyone with a luggage or however she had given him the message.....

Okay.

It seems people are privy to insider information. So let me just

OP, please tell your mum of the terrible experience at your evil uncle wife’s house. One must never be silent in the face of evil. Your mum needs to go tell her off, how can she treat her son like that. Please your sister MUST not go and live in that house, your aunty will make her life terrible. I don’t think you want her to go though the same experience you did.

Twinkletwin:
because some girls are wicked

So how do you know the girl with the rape story is wicked?

Twinkletwin:
So Twitter now is the evidence?

If it isn’t evidence then why are you disbelieving it?? You say people shouldn’t believe every story, I agree. Why are you disbelieving every story?

Apination:
There's a high possibility of getting raped by a family member than an outsider or stranger. Most of them can't speak out because of fear of what's going to happen if they do to the family

You’re absolutely correct. That’s why all these precautions they say ladies should follow that it will stop rape. It’s mostly only applicable to a stranger, what about when your rapist is in your circle?

Twenty8:
Are you the OP's uncle's wife in disguise?

Yes I am! I don’t appreciate our family bidness on Nairaland.

Twinkletwin:
wow so you mean we should believe any story that comes up without evidence?

So why then are you disbelieving any story that comes up without evidence?

yvelchstores:
carry go.

@yvelchstores

I already said it was strange he wasn’t offered food by his uncle and his wife after a long trip, I am not sure how many ways you want me to type I disapprove of such behavior.

Whatever personal experience with your own extended family that’s your story. Unlike you since I am not privy to the OP’s experience sometimes, I like to give people the benefit of a doubt doesn’t mean the OP is lying. It means if there’s a plausible explanation always explore it.

What if I tell you I also have 3 personal stories to share of how guests gave maligned account of their experience at a family’s house and it caused a rift in the family, only for it to be revealed not to be accurate after they did it to someone else.

No, not because my husband is too immature to handle such information. I don’t because family information is not mine to share.

Mstick:
It's doesn't bring happiness but lack of it also doesn't bring happiness either. Like everything in life there must be a balance.

I've not seen a couple dancing Indian dance when their property is being thrown into the street by their landlord.

[img]https:///view/dance-indian-dance-happy-dance-rani-mukherji-paheli-gif-13482628.gif[/img]

Orlaoluwayimika:
Auntie I understand u re trying to stay on the fence but if what he typed are the exact way it happened, then that wife get skuri.

I like to give people benefit of a doubt.

It’s very plausible the aunty was unaware he was outside. A lot of things could’ve gone wrong from gate house to main house. Did the gateman go tell the wife in the house immediately? Do you know if the uncle told his wife he was coming? How long did it take for the wife to know someone was outside and for her to call the uncle if he was expecting someone? All these could also be false and the woman might just be evil and she’s very comfortable risking a child’s life.

I always like to believe the positive plausible angle until you prove me wrong.

I also find it strange that his wife didn’t offer him food along with his bath, I find it even stranger the uncle didn’t ask about his trip and if he has eaten.

I have been a guest and I have been a host and from experience most people’s quality of stay can also be based on their perception and their expectations on what they think they’re owed by their hosts. I also don’t want to invalidate the OP’s experience. I think he should tell his sister his own experience and tell her what to watch out for. If you have food, shelter and security what else is left again?