₦airaland Forum

You go wait taya o!
The line looooooong ke.
No chance.

Sorry!

The man has to make the first move!
Nigerian MEN have NEVER turned me on!
NOT EVEN MY HUSBAND!

I have never been turned on by physical attributes.

No matter how good a man looks, if he does not speak my emotional language. . . . . Then I go for his wallet only!
For children and money. . . .LOTS OF MONEY only.
I have to FORCE MYSELF TO LIKE HIM. . . .TO GET WHAT I WANT!!!!

Straight Up!

Yeecar: I was given a blue letter, which indicates that I do not have strong ties to Nigeria. Despite the fact I am a federal Government civil servant, and I am Married with a kid.

Please, don't email me.
I don't do NAIRALAND OFF NAIRALAND!
Thanks!

This is 2014!
If you can have unprotected LOVE. . . . . .BE PREPARED FOR THE CONSEQUENCES!

Ignore him and do the damn job myself!
He ain't gonna be worth my time.
My kids are the priority.
I HAD THEM AND I WILL TAKE CARE OF THEM MYSELF. . . by any means necessary!

He was only a SPERM DONOR in the first place!
He only gets to answer to his children.
I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!
I don't need no man for that.
THIS IS AMERICA. . . THE HOME OF FEMALE BREADWINNERS!
Not AFRICA. . . THE CONTINENT OF NO BREADWINNERS OF POVERTY!

What a man cannot do. . . a WOMAN CAN DO X3. . . .without A MAN!

Unless you are DAFT. . .OR DISGUSTINGLY LAZY!

I am neither!

Drugs must be involved.
No seat belts?

CASE CLOSED.

SAY NO TO 'GREY GOOSE'!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfqS_WBwwD0

Wetin the dude dey do for inside TV cabinet?
So ya friend dey take pisshures during 'operation'?
You expect us to believe this?
Abi im send you picture of a movie clip?

Mu ha ha ha ha ha ha

Girls without fathers PART 2!

Me I nor fit count o!
The good old days. . . .
I don retire o.
No sweet ones again. . .na so so ERRRECTION DYSFUCTION FULL ROAD THESE DAYS.
I nor want VIAGRA blokos wey nor dey gree come down. . .
Or die unnatural death. . .after the juju quench inside my tin!
What a disgrace!

I prefer my fingers these days. . .DISEASE FREEEEEEEEEEEE.
No worries! Keeps me young!

Abeg this nor be family topic o.
Nor bring the usual 'boko bigots' waka kam o.
Shioooor!

Make una carry una 'religious' warapa go that una 'nonsense section' of NL.
Thank you

I don kia to remember! Nothing memorable to recall!
All I know is that I AM HERE TO STAY!
Hacker or no hacker!

Not my consain!

This must the week of 'SONS KILLING FATHERS'!

Those other people don 'retaliate'?

E be like say the 'EAST' and 'WEST' dey compete for 'PAPA-KILLING'!
Hmmmmmm

Sons ABORTING their fathers!

Way to go!

Nothing really o.
At this point. . . NA RETIREMENT BENEFIT be the 'lotto'. . . .
I cannot leave that kind of 'payday' for one ASHAWO FROM NOWHERE to come and inherit.
After all this hard work and investment?
First to quench is the name of the game.


Abi I resemble mumu ni?

Any wahala. . .I CALL POLICE for a one week LOCK-DOWN!

Proud to be IN AMERICA. . . .The remedy for all MAD NIGERIAN MEN.
Just lock his azze up. . . .Make im go chop 'cold beans' with some 'BI-HOMOS' for jail small.
Amen!

Bush men full Naija. . .I SWIA!
If dis kain wan enter my wahala ehn. . .I GO DISGRACE SHEGEY COMOT FOR IM AZZE!
Nanzenze!

Na hug dey cause wahala ni?

BussssssssssssshMEAT!
Antelope-NONSENSE-man.

E NOR SABI WHO DEY BRING THE MONEY WEY I DEY TAKE FEED AM?
Shuooooooooooo. . . ?
The man wan put san-san for my garri?
I go show am PEPPER KE!
Make im try am ke!

Both of us go NAY-KED for that public!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cASNV7oxomA



ADUPE O!

Older than NL. . .and has not crashed once!

No hacker yet o!

Muchechechecheche

*belches*


We still dey 'bAAAAAnce'!
You wan try us?

15 YEARS DON WAKA. . . WE STILL DEY CARRY GO. . .
No body don waka
No body go solo
BABA GODIOH. . . NA YA GRACIO
BABA ADUPE OOOOOOOO!!!!

I nor understand wetin you write o.
Can you please write in your 'native lingo'?
Tanx!

Abi na by force to write 'TANGO LINGO'?

Yup!

By MYSELF!
I don want disturbance dia!
My bedroom get im own dinning table!
Amen!!!!

Meeeeehn!
These Arabs are really teaching the world how to spend money!
Kudos!

Nna meeeeeeeeehn!
One of my Aunts get 4 boys.
Some above 20 and plus some OVER-teenagers with HEAVY-HEAVY BLOKOSES LIKE DEM PAPA OWN.
Once you ring the door bell. . . na so-so piss go smell ya nose.
Hmmmmmm. . . . Tufiakwa!
All the bathroom rugs. . . na so-so HEAVY PISS dey smell dia!
I nor dey chop for her house o.
Anytime she pack food gimme. . . I go troway am for trash.

Ta!

You can imagine if HOT AKAMU SHOOT OUT. . . . NA DIE!!!!

ACIDOSIS MINUS ALKALOSIS!!!!! CHEI CHEI CHEI !!!!!

You get time o!
After all the drama, you still kept the man abi?
Look who is laughing!
HIS EXTRA-CURRICULAR ACTIVITIES ARE NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. . . IF YOU NOR WAN MARRY. . . COMOT! Simple!!!

Why you nor confront am immediately?
Abi THE FEAR OF LOSING HIM grip ya chest?

If na me, I for SHOW AM THE PHONE, . . . . I GO H-ASSK AM. . .KORO-KORO. . . 'NA WHO GET DIS PHONE SIR'?. . . . Then go about my business.
Abi na only you you tink say ya husband dey phock?
Nor be NAIJA DUDE?

Muhehehehehe

Na which kain 'MGBEKE' marriage be dis wan?

Rather than address your concerns LIKE ADULTS. . . you are both playing 'siddon' look. . . like the problem will disappear.

VERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY BUSH! Twa!

Make the man catch the phone for your hand, you go know say asssshawo na im f'O'rst love!
What did you do wrong?
You are playing games!
You are not communicating with each other!
Goes to show the status of your union.

FAKE!

Shiooooooor!

Neither!
Waste of money for a POTENTIAL DIVORCE!
Not to mention feed ijjjots!

Just a simple native law for BOTH FAMILIES ONLY!
No FRENEMIES invited! Then ONLY THE COUPLE AND ONE WITNESS AT THE REGISTRY!

Simple.

To PHOCK nor harrrro!
E dey sweeeeeet gaaaaan!
After that na shegey!


OP!
Sorry o!
You are not too young.
Whatever you are going through can only be postponed BUT INEVITABLE.

How can you be planning a wedding with such A HUGE STOMACH?

Like NIKE says:SHA-SHA. . . . . Just do it!
This too shall pass.
You are burning your candles from ALL ENDS!
What is the rush?
Who are you competing with?

You can't control a woman's hormonal peaks, plunges or plateaus.
Pregnant or not!

In marriage na efry one for imsef o!
Na she dey hold 2 LIVES.
But she can't help but worry.
She needs to learn to be POSITIVE.

In all fairness, her hypertension is most certainly PREGNANCY-INDUCED, nothing to do with your job loss.

Even the most comfortable circumstances cannot guarantee the absence of PIH. It is usually a PREGNANCY-RELATED PHYSIOLOGICAL MATTER.

All she can do is REST and take things easy, while you act like a MAN and do your part by doing all you can to improve your circumstances.

Welcome to adulthood!

If push comes to BLOW, she can have an immediate C/S.

Fear is always THE MAIN ENEMY OF PROGRESS!

armyofone: lol maybe in the later stage of marriage. Do you think it applies to early marriage? I mean the first day 1 to year 5?

Which wan be early and late marriage again?
Abi difference dey btw single and married toto or blokos kwo?

Nor be the same ashawo work we dey do?

The only difference na the RANK!

Lance corporal vs MAJOR GENERAL!

Abi make I h-esssssplain the difference to you?

Me I be 5-STAR GENERALISIMAMA o!

Decorated with full honors and BENEFITS!

No sssssshaking!!!

Oahray: you are making sense jor. They just don't understand where you are coming from.

Love and life have their ecosystem with its food chain. We all have our roles and it's good to be proud of it (I guess)

We cannot all be the lion that eats the deer.
We cannot all be the deer that eats the grass and gets eaten by the lion.
We cannot all be the grass that gets eaten by the deer.

Some have to be the maggot that help the deer's corpse (or is it carcass?) decay faster, so the grass can grow better and feed more deers that would feed the lions.

#BeMaggotAndProud

In "FAT". . . . .

GBAM!!!

You sabi book!
Na you biko o!!!!
Dem nor know say LOVE GAME NA DOG EAT PUSSSSY!!!
Eat or you GET EATEN! Period!
Abeg hellep me L'Educate dem o!

egopersonified: yr philosophy na die

It is called DOUBLE WIDELY OPEN MARRIAGE!!!
The best for chop and clean mouth and NYANSH!
It works SUPERBLY.
Respect and LOVE are ALWAYS guaranteed!
Trust is not necessary!

baron2000: Then you have been doing the wrong people.

Not at all. I never give what I can't receive. You knack me I SUPER KNACK YOU AND YA WALLET!

You wan toto, I wan MONEEEEEY.
Love is not necessary!
This is business!
I can love myself!
You sef love YASEF!

Who wan love African man?
I dey krrrrrrase?
That is like casting ya pearls to GRADE A SWINE!!!!

Tufiakwa!!!!

cbrass: And perhaps ate it .lol

IYYYYAMAAAA!!!!

Decryptor: Maybe that is because you tend to overlook that part of them when you meet one or you prefer the "bad weed smoking Rick Ross Wannabe" guys. We exist! Just that materialism has blinded the typical African woman from detecting them

No problem for me o.

I don pass that stage. You wound me, I PHOCK you up BAAAAAAD!

No mercy!
The trap wey I go set for the dude eh?
E nor go recover lai lai!!!!

I be OGBONGE ORRRROSCO COMMANDRESS.

If any guy is dealing with me, he berrra deal straight or BAIL ourra town!

2sExy1: Last time I was emotionally involved stabbed, broken, damaged, smashed, regarded as sissy, a weakling, not man enough and killed.. like a phoenix I rose from the ash without my old looks.

Which brings me back to my point.

It is a viscous cycle.
What goes around. . . .
Some man don wound one babe. . . The babe wound you!

Equation balance!

Beware of DAMAGED GOODS!

Hmmmmmm!

419 in life. . . 419 in death!

I was overjoyed ke!
Those who HACK. . . should prepare to be HACKED abi?

Karma is a sweeeeeeeeet BYTCH!
You reap what you sow!

Mukina BABBBBEE. . . pele o!!!
Oya. . .begin dey ban. . .YOUR ROYAL HINNY!!

SERVES YOUR ASSSSES RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIGHT!

NTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR!!!!!
Glad to know the world can see you are not invincible!
Please, feel free to recover!!!!
May you get more HACKS than you can ever bargain for. Amen!!!!!

MUCHECHECHECHECHE



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUMC_raxpSc