₦airaland Forum

Lloydfolarin:


You ll be in this your miserable cage for a long time as long as you maintain this sort of repulsive mentality.

Life is too short to spend each day regretting your marriage.

I was once in your shoes but bailed myself out and happy for taking that bold step then as a man.

Real men take tough decisions.

You ll be free from problems of this world right from the day you don’t allow anything to hold you down including your children.

Listen, if you die today, your children ll move on as if you are nothing.

You became a miserable fool cos of mere pussy of your wife and children. The day you zero your mind on those two advantages she has over you, trust me, happiness ll become all yours.

My guy, if you are the one feeding yourself, call the bluff of her parents in her present with little madness and see these people respecting your boundary.

If she is your wife, she ll remain your wife. If she isn’t your wife, separation ll eventually happen.

Mr man, children is not excuse to stay in marriage. Only peace of mind should keep you in marriage.

Trust me, i was once in your shoes cos of my children, i couldn’t leave the stupid marriage. I was miserable and scare for my children being raised in broken home. However, i later realise that if i die in that marriage, this children ll move on very fast...

You can stay in your children lives while living on your own. Trust me, you ll see the difference in a week. You ll see you are missing in term of peace of mind and sanity.

The day a woman knows that you are afraid to lose your children or don’t want your children to be raised in a broken home, trust me, you are finished. She ll use it against you.

Why do you think all these babe mama respect their babe dads? Why? Cos those guys don’t give a Bleep.

Look at those small children called Davido and Wizkid, no woman out of those babies mamas can disrespect them cos they are in charge.

Be in charge and prove to your in laws that you are a Mr nonsense man by throwing them out of your house and your wife if she wants to take side with them.

If you think anybody has a better method to make your marriage than what i have said here, you are in for a shock. That family ll never changed until you do what i ask you to do

you said it all, I hope he listens. I directed him to my personal experience.

3free2:
Looking back, I think I have been worst than an introvert. Iwas so eager to impress my stupid in-laws.
I've given up so much for the sake of the happy home of my dreams. I'm too ashamed to narrate the whole story.

have you read my response to your post ?

I thought Christian marriage can only be divorced due to adultery

ShenTeh:
Thank you boss.

I am male nevertheless.

your thoughts pattern are feminine. You must be one of the easy going live and let's live male

1x2x3:
I'm sorry I'm saying this and it hurts my heart to agree with the warnings of marrying a single mother. I'm not the best writer but I will try to narrate my experience and findings.

First of all I would like to point out that there are very few single mothers who can make a good wife while majority of them will ruin you and make your life miserable if caution is not taken.

I've been dating a single mother of a 5 years old boy for about a year and half she is 30 and never been married. I wouldn't just jump into such relationship but for the fact she is someone I knew back in my School days however, we lost contact for about 10 years before we met again and I kind of understood the story she told me and the circumstances she had the child (Till date I didn't bother verifying her story of course I don't care).

We dated for about a year and she got talking with a few of my friends and sibling but the striking thing is she is yet to introduce me to any of her friends or siblings even though I knew she have many siblings and some friends (I did question her about this and she said she doesn't have someone she can really call a friend).

Looking at the kind of reserved life she lives I felt this could be normal but still something kept telling me there's more to these whole pretentious reserved life because I'm introverted and can easily figure out who's pretending to be one. Mind you, she is the church going type who prays and wants my well being yet I could still figure out there is something not clear thus my reason for taking my time to propose to her. This is actually not my fault as there is no way I can figure out who she is unless through someone close to her.

About 6 months ago a pastor that is yet to meet her in person told me that if I marry her I will end up divorcing but being the doubting Thomas type I gave no ear to whatever the pastor has to say until recently when something unfolded.

She lives 3 hrs drive away and comes visiting most of the weekend. Here is the major problem which I must admit I'm at fault but I thank God I was at fault because it paved way for the revelation. Throughout the time we've been dating I only visited her once which she complained about, I wasn't just too comfortable going there to spend time and do certain things (I didn't just find this right but I'm very much comfortable if she visits alone or with the kid). She complained a few times about me not visiting until 2 weeks ago she told me she was traveling to Abuja.
I inquired about her reasons of traveling and she said she needed to rest since she's on leave (Redflag). Her reasons didn't sound logical so I objected, I told her I wasn't comfortable with her traveling, she kept insisting and she jokingly said she will go and face the consequences when she returns. We talked about this for days and she eventually went against all odds and traveled.
On getting to Abuja she started acting funny like not taking calls or calling and when she finally returned my call I told her not to call me until she is back from her trip (I needed to avoid unnecessary worries)

She returned after 4 days and called knowing fully well we've got issues to thrash. She started complaining I don't give her attention as much as she wants (she seems not to be able to deal with my introverted person anymore). The ranting was becoming rude, sounding like a different person from whom I thought I knew. We got to a heated point I had to ask for any of her siblings number, she immediately became defensive and threatened that if I dare contact any of her siblings (7 of them) that I won't like the outcome . It occurred to me she isn't in good relationship with any of her siblings even though they talk sometimes. She just doesn't want me to contact anyone. Out of her rudeness I asked her if she is ready to be under a man since she has brought up marriage issues on few occasions. She said she isn't ready to tolerate bulllshitt of men afterall she has a child, marriage is about children and if things aren't working in a marriage everyone can find their way . The pastor's words occurred to me instantly. I took about 2 hours telling her how much she needs to adjust and understand she isn't supposed to tuzzle with a man else it will be hard for things to work in a home.

She said so many unimaginable things that it dawned to me she was pretending to be nice all these while. She said she wants a man that can take alll she does, I then asked her if she is ready to take all a man does she said no and I told her to look for a man and pay his groom price since she wants a man she can control.

Still scary to me she pretended all these while, going to church and acting very responsible hoping I marry her which I genuinely had intentions to but for the fact something kept telling me I needed more time to know her.

At the end its obvious she is used to being a single mother and if she divorces tomorrow it will be nothing new to her.

Guys make sure you scrutinize that single mother before you jump in. There's a reason she's single and in her 30's.
I found out she's not in good terms with her siblings because she doesn't like taking orders or listening to advice. They've talked to her about being rude and disrespectful but rather than listen she drew bad blood between her and all her siblings.

Op go and celebrate. Not being IB good terms with her family speaks volume. Meanwhile read this similar story. https://www.nairaland.com/4447411/wife-finally-moved. AND. https://www.nairaland.com/4457718/update-wife-finally-moved

ShenTeh:
It is really sad the kids we have on this platform.

Someone who's been married for over 9 years -probably longer than you knew your name - comes to seek counsel and your best joke is to lead him in to suicide.

Did your parents not advise you to desist from jumping into matters beyond your cranium?

@OP, It is not too late. You can have your home and control back!
I. Tell your in-laws you detest their interference in running your home. It is not going to be easy, because it seems to me they had enjoyed your introverted nature from forever. They will be shocked! May probably put up a fight and lash out, but trust me, they will begin to respect that. Go there. Cite specific examples when you talk to them. Don't make phone calls. You also don't need to discus your planned visit with your wife, they'll tell her anyway and you need to face them with a clear head (We know the way our wives interfere with our senses). Too, you need her shock to be genuine when her parents give her the feedback. She may get back at you with whining and bickering, but she will be deeply relieved to know that you went alpha-male.

2. You must also earn the trust of your family. Wifey and children must know that you have their best interest at heart, even if you don't have the means now.

Talk often about your dreams for your family and try to give clear and simple explanations for your actions. Seek your wife's opinion on even simple issues and explain to her why her option may be unsuitable at the moment...

Etc

Good luck. It will work out fine.

you said it all,reading your post gave me the impression that you are a lady. The truth is that marital problems can be resolved when both parties genuinely want reasonable resolution. In this case, there is nothing much the man can do if the woman is not ready to adjust

3free2:
I know similar stories has been narrated on this forum but I want the world to hear my tale of regret and sorrow.

For nine years I've struggled to eliminate family interference from my home but unfortunately I've not been able to. My father in-law and his wife call the shot and when I resist my wife promptly takes side with them claiming that I'm being disrespectful.

From the onset I pleaded with my own family to allow us chat our own path, learn from our mistakes and grow together in love. This has backfired on me because my wife did not do same with her family.

I can't consider breakup, I don't want my kids to grow in a broken home. The problem is worse presently only God can show me the way out of this mess.

Some might say I was weak from the onset, but some women can be manipulative and cunning. I am in a cage right now, I desperately need help before the worst happens.

My friend, I understand where you are coming from, obviuosly, there are other things that you might have not told us, however, i urge you to stand up for what is right. Things like this never happen to men who are strong headed and stubborn. It happens to men who are very considerate and have a conscience. Read these two stories, they may help. https://www.nairaland.com/4447411/wife-finally-moved AND https://www.nairaland.com/4457718/update-wife-finally-moved

obidevine:
Hi Nairalanders , I need some mature responses .

Anytime I and my wife have a quarrel or a verbal altercation she tends to remove her ring for a few days.

Please what could this mean or how do I address this. It really gets me thinking.

...A WOMAN WITH BAD TEMPER hmmmm, be carehfull
raed these ttp://www.nairaland.com/4447411/wife-finally-moved, AND https://www.nairaland.com/4457718/update-wife-finally-moved

samyfreshsmooth:
for us perverts to watch!!


got a problem with that?

king of savage

Eberechi24:
Sir, i believe this your wife side of story
https://www.nairaland.com/4530670/he-did-not-enjoy-intimacy

cc, Joseph500

I think the best is to direct this person to my thread and ask if she is d one. Nooooo u are wrong

Eberechi24:
it really helped, thanks dear.
btw am not sir

sorry madam, I sincerely though you were a male

Eberechi24:
it really helped, thanks dear.
btw am not sir

sorry, madam, I sincerely thought you were a mail

Eberechi24:
good evening, how do you add link to your comment?

sir, go to the particular topic whose link you want. Then click on the topic once the topic is opened, then copy the Link from the top of the topic, the place were you usually type the website when you want to are browse. Hope it helps

HonSuQMaDIQ:
is that a morgue? She looks like a beer palour owner shaa. Men are scum ... rip ma

Why RIP, is she dead ?

When the feeling is there of cheating most likely it is. You know your wife, I am sure there are many things you did not say here, I know this feeling bro. Difficult to get hard evidence. read this https://www.nairaland.com/4447411/wife-finally-moved AND https://www.nairaland.com/4457718/update-wife-finally-moved

3babes:
I had to create this account now.

There is this girl i meet in while leaving school, I love her so much but after a while i discovered when we sleep together in the room i will see fresh human blood stain on the floor. Most times two drop of blood stains. I ask her she said she never knew how it got there.

Leta she pointed accusing fingers to almost every one sharing the apartment with us so we started praying hoping that God will interven.
She is a good prayer who speaks in tongue, in fact that attracted me to her, cos she prays a lot, at times in hostel she can lock her self indoors praying.
As the year came to an end, all occupant packed out remaining just my friend and I, but still yet we still see the blood on the floor.
Then recently i got a place in another state then invited her to come and see me that same night i saw fresh blood on the floor, in fact it continued for 3 nights she spent.
When she left all blood stop, of recent i invited her again then it continued, I told her i won't continue with the relationship again.
She started accusing me of being responsible or I know something about this blood stain. She cried all through the night and slept out side


This blood stains drop around 10:30pm to 12pm that's what I noticed,
I have seen her trying to check if am asleep by touching at some point.
I have seen her looking at me at middle of night ( when got up flash touch saw fresh blood blood)

Each night if I wake her to see it.. After discussing she will just open her leg for all night sex (she gives me sex to forget all about that)
Before i sleep I will make sure i check every where, use net to sleep, mob the tiles, Check around for clues


But if am awake through the night no blood stains will occur.
This blood stain is bigger than 3 mosquitoes combine, so I have ruled out the possibility of that
It appears in same spot,at times on my power bank.
Most times if I woke up to clean first blood... Another fresh ones drops before morning

She speaks in tongue and you people still make love. Which tongue?

nashito:
It is evident now that the crash of Tiwa's wedding is somehow as a result of infidelity,trust issues and insecurity. From the recent activities of Tiwa Savage, we can somehow deduce that TeeBliz was right regarding the accusations against Tiwa.

However, the lesson we must all learn from the crash as men are numerous, but let me shorten it;

(1) HELPING A WOMAN TO THE TOP OF HER CAREERS:

I have often wondered why some men refused to let their woman rise to the very top, it is very simple here. When a woman rises to the top, they tend to forget the ladder through which they climbed to the very top, this is not same case with men. A man will always remain very loyal to the that person who showed him the way to the top. Same cannot be said of women. Most times. Putting ourselves in someone's shoes helps, let's assume TeeBliz takes all that shits we were made to believe, but the question that comes to mind is, does it mean Tiwa wasn't aware of his habits before they got married? If it was Tiwa's habit, Do we really think TeeBliz will divorce her for the same reason?
Women are naturally not loyal to men especially when you stop paying the bills.

(2) With the manner in which Tiwa has carried herself lately. I want to ask all men this simple question; regardless of her career, can you marry such a wife? With all those crazy, ripped off, half naked dresses etc Before you answer that, take a deep breath and think first. While dating, we all love this crazy girl who's always sexy and all that, but this is marriage, Men can you really do that? Lesson learn, don't Marry someone who's career is not suitable to your kinda person.

(3) Finally, As a man. DO NOT sacrifice your own career and future ambitions for any Nigerian lady, they are not worth it, they all have short memories. I know they are few good ones out there. But never you ever sacrifice your life for anyone's career. We should all remember Teebliz for what he did and not what we were told. He picked up Tiwa and put her in the pinnacle of her career, what did he get in return? Nothing.

This is a big lesson for all ambitions men out there. I am not saying you should restrict that woman from being who she wants to be. Just don't sacrifice yours for her.
Thank you. Still your boy Nash.

I am guilty of 1 and 3

Dabenokoye:
chai! u bad ooo

MedellinCartel:
Good day folks. It is true that for anyone to survive in our country he should have another stream of income. I am thinking of starting a small business with a maximum capital of 250k along side my 8 - 5 job. I think the best business for Nigeria are commodities with high rate of sales and huge turnover. Something an average Nigerian can afford.

So guys wey sabi, please call out the present need in the market. It could even be the smallest things that we overlook, products and/or services that I can render to solve a problem and make profit even if I have to import them.

Thanks.

PVC for 2019

Archangel15:
Hopeless beings my aunty is one the way she's always jealous of married women..

I thank God nobody married her

ain't, not aunty

[quote author= post=67888037]Poverty is not an act of God; it is the result of our economic history. And when you look at the numbers of how much was stolen under the watch of Jonathan as President and the revelations made, the kind of money that was diverted under the PDP regime under President Jonathan, those monies if distributed by 180 million Nigerians, each of us will have a swollen pocket.


END OF DISCUSSION!!! [/quote]your likes are the very reason why Nigeria remains poor today

Good. Hope Obj now realizes how the best operates. It finally will eat everybody, including those feeding it

No it is how the beast operates, everybody including its friend will finally end up in its belly