₦airaland Forum

toksbisola:
@OP; hmmm how sad. IMHO, you’re a bit too soft; (no offence) toughen up a bit as your wife have wrapped you round her little finger. There seems to be these factors missing in your marriage; Love, Compatibility, Respect and Friendship. In theory, your wife "HAS SEEN YOU FINISH". I have said this several times, and I will say again (some of you men don't listen), there’re two important things you need to know when dealing with women viz;

1) Never ever let a woman know/sense that you love her more than she loves you. If you do you’re game. Your wife knows that, hence a possible reason for her mis-behaviour.
2) Never ever let a woman know what your weak point is as a man. If she knows it, you’re game. Your wife knows that you can’t do without being the first to call her to apologies when an argument occurs, hence another possible reason for her mis-behaviour.

The thing that upset me the most is that you saw this entire attitude in her during your courtship and you still went ahead and married her, thinking she would change right? WRONG MOVE. People even convinced you to marry her that she will change and you fell for the deceit. I suspect your wife is pretty and aside the fact of her nasty attitude and the other things you mentioned you couldn’t just end the courtship and let her go. You gave her warnings to change her attitude of which she said she would change but she deceived you and she went back to status quo and yet you still went ahead and married her; WHAT FOR?

From another angle, you have painted your wife as a monster (excuse my language) but painted yourself as an innocent person which I find hard to believe. If your wife were to come here and say her part of the story, it mostly likely would be slightly different from your version as there are always 3 sides to a story; your side, their side and the truth.

You and your wife have not spoken for a while and that’s not a healthy sign. You also mentioned that you have reported her to some family members to intervene but to no avail. You are now getting to the point where you need to ask your wife DOES SHE STIIL WANT THIS MARRIAGE? If she answers YES you know what to do but if she says NO you know what to do. No one can tell you whether to leave or stay; that’s your call entirely as only you wear the shoes and only you know where it pinches the most.

You and your wife have set a very bad precedent for your kids. That said, one piece of advice I’ll give you about the kids is this; as they grow older and get into the dating game, endeavour (just a suggestion) to use the example of you and their mum to teach them that when they see things they are not happy with during courtship, it should be addressed immediately. If the person with the problematic attitude isn’t willing to change then they should run faster than Usain Bolt as what you know you can’t take during courtship, would only get worse (if not corrected) after marriage.


Lesson learnt to all others who are courting and hoping the relationship would lead to marriage to learn from the @ops mistake

1) Never ever marry anyone out of pity simply because you have been with them for a long time and you don’t want them to lose out.

2) Marry for true love so that when the challenges start occurring in the marital bond, (and best believe challenges would arise) the love both of you have built up would be able to withstand the ups and downs that would occur; take note that MARRIAGE IS NOT A BED OF ROSES.


I rest my case

Mariangeles:
Believe me she's not okay wherever she is since you have not called her back as you used to...she is panicking wherever she is right now!
I'm quite sure she's afraid (to lose you because you're probably the only man who can tolerate her) since you haven't called her unlike before, she's probably wondering if there is another woman.
You've got to stand your ground!

blackboy:
She has not moved on but being stuborn. You laid a foundation of always calling her and now she is still waiting for that call. When will you make the call?

eyeview:
Bros, if i had known you then,i would have asked you to back off, not listening to some elders who just want to see a marriage consumated. Anything you know you cant deal with in marriage, run if you see it in the courting. Dont believe that nonsense of 'she will change in marriage', are you the Holy Spirit?
The truth is that she may wish to change and hence atimes makes temporal moves to change but she will always relapse because the spirit is already deeply enshrined in her attitude and you may not have what it takes to weather this storm. The only hope now is God but she must be willing to yield and start a genuine walk with God for Him to continually and gradually renew her spirit and soul. Until then bro, you have my sympathies, unless you just opt out by divorce

Olalan:
OP sorry about all that your wife has been putting you thru, I must say the signs were there during courtship for her to behave rudely also to her family and with them admitting you are soft on her tells a lot about the personality of your wife from her single days. You need to stop been a sissy and have some real hard talk with her, if she's still interested in the union or not.
BTW what's the line between been flirtatious and cheating,

greatnaija01:
DID you MARRY HER FOR HER CHARACTER? OR JUST BECAUSE TIME WAS NOT ON YOUR SIDE AND YOU NEEDED TO SETTLE DOWN?

Marriage has to be UNDERSTOOD but its clear your wife and mother OUT law DO not know their place.

you need a FRESH START with your wife... if she is ready BUT If not.. kindly relocate and take care of the kids.... DONT REMARRY.... and do not let anyone know where u STAY.

FIND OUT WHAT WILL SCARE YOUR WIFE..... Or what will make her FEAR U... shouting wont do it... complaining or ranting wont work.... SHOCK HER with an ACTION that shows... she is NEVER to disrespect u again.

if you do this... SHE WILL BE SO HUMBLE and YOUR LOVE WITH HER WILL RETURN.... also VERY VERY IMPORTANTLY- Check your ATTITUDE to her.... she may just be REACTING to how u TREAT HER... and you innocently think you treat her WELL.

see your MARRIAGE COUNSELOR if you had one... else your pastor or an ELDER who will not take sides but CORRECT BOTH OF U

eyeview:
Personally, the first question i ask whenever i see such situation is this: Didnt you see these signs when you were dating or where you blinded by something else or where you one of those who think they will change in marriage?

AFONJAPIG:
ugly woman she is better off dead...

gurunlocker:
I really want to write this in my last post but I don't have time for argument with his fanboys as they won't agree. Thank God someone is seeing same thing as I do.

Ronaldo work is basically to score goals, do less work even when he is deployed as a winger. That's why Benzema is having lesser goals because Ronaldo will stay inside the box to be fed by Madrid playmakers. On the other hand, Messi does exactly the opposite, he start the possession, ends it with a goal or give an assist.

Madrid can play very well without Ronaldo, they have proved that many times. Barcelona can't play very well without Messi, they always look lost without him on the field, we saw that of recent.

Madrid keep Ronaldo fresh for important games, so he is always fit to shine because he have lesser work to do. Messi play almost every games, little time to rest and he is injured of recent and just coming up. They always want him to perform magic forgetting everyone must be involved.

I can continue but arguing with those guys is time wasting. They have even started talking about Ballon D'or in less than 24 hours.

collinometricx:
Funny thing is ... Barça fans where busy watching City Vs Liverpool game instead of their game

Over confidence

Now they are back to the gutter

Embarrassment to Spanish football

histemple:
It means God is keeping her for a purpose. Please don't argue because God hate argument. Just believe.

JasonScolari:
It seems your ''god'' always discuss Nigeria politics with you...

Please tell him to change the topic this time around. We've pressing issues with bet9ja.

falconey:
You need dooooorrr too, how does one get you that?

Whizdorm001:
Igbos are mostly christians Hausas are mostly muslims yorubas are the most confused set of people. WTF!........ Who throw me pepper. Yeee my eyes ooo

Biglittlelois:
What a silly question, beyonce has been popular b4 ronaldo came into existance

PigMeat:
TEAM BARCA, INCLUDING MESSI 15 GOALS IN UCL, RONALDO
ALONE 14 GOALS.

swiz123:
Ever since he scored that goal, I am yet to see him touch the ball... Anyways, he has no business playing when he just need a touch to score.

I guess that's why he is called tapnaldo

prettyomidan:
The picture get one kind "raggish" look

HomeOfMe:
The man has swallowed fresh human heart during his oath- taking at Oriental hotel.