₦airaland Forum

janefarms2015:
Op, ive been following this thread, ive never made any comment, im over 50 years old with similar experience, wake up the truth is that ur wife has moved onnnnnnnn!!!! You will not be the first person, neither d second nor d third to divorce, forget love, you are a man, I hope you dont commit suicide when the reality dawn on u, stop consoling urself, shes no longer in love with u

Thank you for bringing your experiences in.Sincerely I am really bothered about the kids. I can not force her to Love me,.

Sanchez01:
Any question, please?

yes , is it true that Rinaldo is greater than any player that ever lived?

blackjack21:
first, which team are you supporting?

madrid

TSOM:
Anything which stops that diving, tap-in merchant from reaching the UCL final is fine by me.

haters gonna hate, Ronaldo gonna win

please any link

buske:
For the sake of a better understanding of myself story, Let me Start with a brief biography.

I am a young man of about 26 years old and a graduate, presently employed with a monthly salary of a little over 40k per month. Recently I got an offer of a job that pays over 130k per month plus mouth watering allowances. Meaning I will soon be changing levels.

Both my family house and current place of work are situated in the same state but different LGAs. I have an accommodation at my location of work but prefer to go to work from my family house due to some challenges such as unstable electricity (I'm a computer programmer) and the bad weather at the location of my place of work.

In my childhood, My parents' marriage crashed! I have four siblings of which I am the second child and the first of two sons...and my mum (who single handedly raised us all through primary school up til University)....as for my dad.. Well, he left us and remarried!

Over the years, due to how my mum has frowned and posed a very unwelcoming attitude towards any female she sees around me, I haven't been able to maintain a stable relationship. I mostly did whatever business I had with the opposite sex outside the house and completely out of her knowledge.
I don't really know at what age a young man should have a girlfriend, but I believe at 25, he's old enough!
So I thought she was protective probably because I was not of age or probably didn't like it when I was with different females....or some understandable reason.

However, because of how much I appreciate her motherly love for us and for not abandoning us after our dad left, I took it upon myself, in my heart, to 'when I become of age', get/marry a woman who would be one after my mum's heart. (now before you go on about how wrong this is, I know right! The woman must have passed through me first!...And yes it is possible to get a woman I love who also at the same time, is someone my mum approves of)

Presently, at 25, I am trying to build a stable relationship. A relationship that is different from the previous ones. A relationship I can parade anywhere (I believe it's not wrong if parents/guardians know who their wards are dating).
Now to do that, I must date, and to date means I must be seen around females and they too, around me.

To my utmost dismay, my mum still maintains a very unwelcoming and hostile attitude towards them. Like, we've had several talks (both peaceful and quarrels) about this.

Also, The thing I can't seem to understand is why My younger brother who is more of a philandeer but she doesn't really look his way....she doesn't really care about his own matter.
But as for me, It is more like...her body bites her when she sees females around me.
I have talked to her... I have quarreled with her and nothing changes.

Recently, I met a well groomed and very beautiful girl, the type I know my mum would approve of, and we've started something. I have started bringing her home.

Just the other day, we had a big quarrel (my mum and I). My girl had come to see me at home and we decided to hang out @ some place. I stayed out for about three hours before returning home.

On reaching home, my mum enters my room and begins to tell me how another person will not reap where they didn't sow... She also added that, on getting something doing (i.e a stable source of income) we'd take care of her first, for three years! before thinking of getting a woman (wife).
she said she'd curse any of us who failed to do this. She said a whole lot of unpleasant things which did not go down well with me. Also, She has always repeatedly told me about how she won't visit my house when I get married (for what reason... I don't know). To add, She's the type of person that can keep malice with just anyone.. Infact, she's not in talking terms with her sister for some rather irrelevant issue.

Now I am sad, confused, perplexed,... I am depressed.
I keep having this feeling that I am in big trouble when I get married. Like...Trouble from my mum. Trouble that can shatter a family.

I am confused....afraid!

Congratulations on your new job. Your story has many issues or sides, first it will be kind of difficult to blame your mum even though she is over reacting, this is due to what she went through in raising you lot. The solution is to talk sense to her calmy, you can not win a fight with that kind of woman. They are they type that are never wrong.
On the other hand I hope you can now see why you dad left your mum. You can verify that she is a malice queen, even to family. YOUR MOTHER IS THE TYPE THAT CAN NEVER BE WRONG, EVERYBODY IS ALWAYS AT FAULT, AND EVERYBODY MUST TAKE CORRECTION, BUT NOBODY THERE CORRECTS HER.
My story is similar my wife has ltreally send me packing out of the house, maybe in 15 years my children will say I abandoned them, Here ARE the links to my story.https://www.nairaland.com/4447411/wife-finally-moved AND THIS https://www.nairaland.com/4457718/update-wife-finally-moved. Hope They help.

2 years... now your stupid husband if actually he is guilty can continue in the immorality

Bass123:
Yes I know there are still good ones but they do suddenly change with time out there. Anyways, just leave her to God.
The slap I talked about pls don't try it, I allowed anger took the better part of my judgment.
I hate divorce, I hate separation, can you commit this issue to God every night by fasting too? I will try on my own help with prayers too. Let's try this as is the only option that I thought is not been visited.

My brother the thing is annoying, the situation even deserves more than a slap. I feel so humbled for suggesting to pray with me. Thank u so much. Trust me one thing she holds on to is because of the statement you made above '...I hate separation...' She knows I am against divorce, she knows I want the kids to be raised in a 'father and mother setting', this has been of the things that gives her gut, because she knows she will always get away.

Neoteny:
He only got 25m cash. The rest is split between the SUV and vacation.

ok, thanks for the clarification

Neoteny:
So he's started spending the 25m already.

you mean 45million

And they call this one a professor ?

Bass123:
If I were you, I will cajole her that we have settled and tell her is been a while we visit Nigeria, darling don't you think we should visit home?
If she say yes I think we should visit home. Then when you board the plane tell her I love you for this kind consideration that we both see our parents.
Bros when you here the pilot announce we are in Nigeria
Land her one slap collect her passport take your children leave her there the next morning find your way back to wherever you work.
This is not the first time I am hearing about Nigerian wives abroad that has been well taking care of by their husband some even sponsored their education will start maltreating the husband because the culture there is not ours. I am tired of this.
Very soon I am traveling out I have my gal friend I am afraid marrying her and bringing her with me and she will suddenly change just like the others.

There are still good Nigerian women that did not change. Which kind of woman is your girlfriend, is God fearing, does she have a strong respect for her family? These are very vital.
Thank you so much for your advice. I feel I should just leave her to God and her conscience if she has any left

Razak5:
Hello

Tried any of those links I posted on the other thread?

No, please can you kindly re post here

Buhari...The shame of our nation

lumide533:
yes

Thanks

lumide533:
If its an android. Try mobogenie to backup

Thanks, is it on pc ?

mrsmith11:
Probably you misunderstood me.....I was saying moving far away from Norway will not help and I guess it has not .
There is saying that out of sight can be out of mind but been close to your family especially your children when you can see them at any time would ve been better.

Probably you would ve used your birthday as opportunity to take everyone out for dinner and things like that rekindle or refresh memories that can heal wounds.

I live here in Europe n family is in Nigeria so I know the challenges and vacuum distance between partners can create.

I will advice you go back to Norway n face the issue if for nothing but to be close to your children.

I think you are the one need to un derstand the situation, how do you resolve an issue with someone that has decided not to speak to anyone, not to counselor, not to her family, not to the church on this challenge at home, she can relate fairly okay with her family, immediately the bring up this matter, then trouble starts. Well talking about birthday, in January I bought her some birthday gifts and right were I am she dumped them in the bin without opening up. Before I left, I spent the last 8 months in a different, in same house, she cooks her meal, I cook mine, if I touch her food she will never touch that pot again.We have never lived apart, there is no question of long distance marriage. I left the house the first time now because of the problem. I think you should read my first post properly.

xtivin:
O.p, you have spirit of revelation but you ignored it due to your canality. Obedience is better than sacrifice. Pray your way out

Well, I hink you are right, butI am looking for solutions now

Razak5:
Hello.
Kndly give us a snap shot of the back of your desktop PC.
*cheers*

Sir please how do I transfer my phone sms, videos and pics to my pc. I saw some desk top app online, but they all require payment

Sir please how do I transfer my phone sms, videos and pics to my pc. I saw some desk top app online, but they all require payment

Sir please how do I transfer my phone sms, videos and pics to my pc. I saw some desk top app online, but they all require payment

Sir please how do I transfer my phone sms, videos and pics to my pc. I saw some desk top app online, but they all require payment

Sir please how do I transfer my phone sms, videos and pics to my pc. I saw some desk top app online, but they all require payment

mrsmith11:
I do not agree with you ....so if a UK citizen need a temporary separation from the wife then the best suggestion is to leave the UK to Romanian abi?

The best you would ve done is to move into another apartment in the same city where you can easily reach your children weekends until you find a lasting solution to your challenges. .....why will you leave a well paying job to Malta that has the lowest wages in Europe.
Y u no go any of the Scandinavia countries that is even close to Norway. Abeg tell us another reason

Hello thanks for your time, I would have choosen not to reply , but I think we need to get somethings clear.Romania and Uk, are two extremes.UK is not mainland Europe, Romania with due respect is mainly Eu by name.
Talking about going to other Scandinavian country,the counselor and I reasoned that leaving to any one of them does not portray seriousness from me. The whole Idea was for my leaving to make a serious impact on my wife. If I go to any other Scandinavian, it will have no effect, because Copenhagen in Denmark is less than 20 minutes to malmo in Sweden,Sweden and Norway share many similar towns, so we in Scandinavian see these countries as almost one.
The other reason I want to Malta was because of my Job, I am a Pharmacist, it is easiest to get a job in Malta than any other EU country. I am just doing odd jobs before I obtain licence in Malta, this takes three 4 months. The ideal thing would have been to do the registration before going to Malta, but the problem on ground made me leave earlier.

yettymuse:
I'm glad you're open to opinions! I look forward to hearing a good news update from you. I wish you all the Best Op!

thank you for your time. Just reading every one's comment Here has really helped to heal my soul

Prognose:
This long distance thing (two countries) is too much for someone with your wife's attitude. If you want your marriage to work you have to be close to her, giving her this kind of space even when you knew she had started flirting.... It's too much. Another country? Not even another state? Haba.

I suggest instead of asking if she has moved on online, you go back to visit your kids whom I assume you are missing. Have some fun/quality time with them. Make them the centre of your happiness and not your wife. Stop looking for what's wrong with your wife and how to fix her. Somehow you married this kind of antisocial woman for whatever reason, you'll have to manage her like that. Maybe she will improve in future, maybe she won't. But your joy will be in taking care of the kids and having a great relationship with them.

The counsellor that advised you to move to another COUNTRY is crazy in the head, doesn't matter how many degrees he has.

I know a lot of Nigerians will say the same thing about the councillor, but moving to another country here in EU of you are an EU citizen is nothing really.

Chubhie:
You should look towards working your way to a place where your wife would be absolutely trusting of you in all things including her life. Difficult? perish that thought.

Let's go to the drawing board. Man know thyself. This is the number one rule before you venture into any relationship talkless of lifelong commitment as marriage.

You ought to have spent a lot of time researching and understanding how the female package works in terms of anatomical, mental and external factors as experiences, conditions, economical and a fast paced social media driven today's reality plays a role on her total package.

I can bet my last $10 sitting on this table that you probably did a haphazard job in that regards or non at all judging by the quantum of your troubles. You shouldn't see yourself as a failure yet cos every man needs a father and a godfather to stand a chance of turning out better.

Women are not the lesser evil per say. You can rewire and customise her into any pattern you wish as long as you've worked your way to the elusive Gspot of her soul whilst showing all workings.

There a lot of books and research papers on these yet our libraries are not being robbed.

Thanks

MARKone:
Please move on with your life, when she is tired, she will come round, if she wants divorce or separation, kindly oblige her.

thanks, this seems the reasonable option, but my kids...

Razak5:
I tried one that worked. Although I didn't see any need to save the software as at that time...

So, here is a links to the Google search results moments ago for free ones.

https://www.google.com/search?client=ucweb-b&channel=sb&q=Free+app+to+move+SMS+from+my+Android+to+PC&oq=Free+app+to+move+SMS+from+my+Android+to+PC&aqs=mobile-gws-lite.

Don't forget to save the link someone somewhere may just need it y'know.

thank you so much

GoodKay:
Wow! Im almost 5 years in marriage with 2 kids and expecting a 3rd and i can say its not been an easy journey and especially when money no too dey, e no go easy o. I usually hear ppl make d statement that they wount marry a man that is not comfortable enough to cater for he's wife n kids, I never believed in that statement but believed that if u love, marry and with time things will smoothen out but now e come be like say that statement make sense to me now. I and hubby earn around same amount, about eighty something thousand monthly, he handles rent and stuffs like electricity bills, fueling car, gen, car repair and some others while I take care of feeding for d whole house for d month, provisions for d month, d childrens school snacks, creche fees/assist with school fees, filling gas monthly and other stuff I still fuel sometimes n do elect bills once a while. When I put to bed now, it will be my duty to cater for all d baby's needs, pampers, wipe, clothes, food etc but my complain here is that despite all these, whenever I attempt to mention to my husband that my money is short for feeding I receive all sort of insult that I don't know how to manage money, I'm not helping this family, etc etc. I don't look good because I don't spend a dime from my salary for myself I spend it all on d house and d kids. I was to run a test today as after my last antenatal visit d doctor suggested that, when I told my husband about it and said I didn't have money, he said ehen just tell d doctor there was no money. And now am at home without going for d test after taking excuse at work. Our gas finished last night and stove is bad, my husband has gone to work early this morning leaving me n d kids without any means to cook and no money in my hand all. To feed a family of 4 monthly is not easy. Is there something any advice for me? I've started developing bp issues especially when my salary is finishing as it means feeding money is finishing because I know my husband will just relax and expect that its my duty to find out where to get money. Pls any advice to calm me down? No insults pls

from what I have read, you are good woman, do you best and leave the rest

dafeyankee:
No comment.

Me patiently waiting for Pastor Adeboye's sidechick to tell her version of the friendship when they break up.

fear God