₦airaland Forum

Thou art Peter Fayose upon you God will build Nigeria

goldcrossxx:
Greetings All,

To all that followed and commented on the thread created by “amaraokafor”, i decided to create a new thread for this as per the advice of a Nairalander. The below is the thread link and also my response.

https://www.nairaland.com/4484675/should-continue-wait-date-another#67236204

I have been following this thread on proxy and never wanted to comment because, i don’t believe in seeking emotional advise from a Public forum due to the fact that many advisers may be underage, inexperienced and would advise you based on what they have read from one party.

The young lady in question comes from a family of 2 girls and 4 boys of which she’s the 1st daughter and the 2nd is as well single. The relationship is also not 3 yrs as she indicated but was suppose to be exactly 2 yrs on the 1st of May.

A new relationship is always very sweet but the challenges that will follow is what matters most because relationship itself is filled with uncertainties just the same way as life. The way a relationship is handled is what justifies what the outcome would be.

The lady in question is nice and as humans, we all have our flaws. Yes, i am a very quiet and reserved person that hardly go out so it’s safe to say that i am an introvert while she’s not that type. I won’t completely analyze everything and what caused it but i will try within my capacity to disclose some so that those that gave their one sided advise can rethink again.

I am not a married man, as a matter of principle and respect to whoever i am involved with, i don’t double date. My problem with the lady in question was bourne out of the fact that she was disrespectful to me several times, domineering, unstable in the relationship and sometimes blackmail me to achieve her desires and a lot more. Those were what caused our problems from the first few months of my involvement with her. Several reasons may have prompted her actions but i don’t see it as being enough for someone you genuinely love.

I told her from the 1st 3 months of knowing her that marriage is what i want and she agreed accordingly. She met with my family, i met with the parents and made my intentions known to them in less than a year of relationship commencement. In fact if not for the financial challenge due to wrong projection of business dealings, marriage would have happened 2 or 3 months after.

Before i met with her family, she ended the relationship twice and threatened that she will proceed with the next man available that love is not a criteria for her in marriage. After i met with her parents, she did same to the extent of giving me a deadline that if i don’t fulfill her rites, i should go my way which she executed her threats. I will be begging for her not to leave, the mother will beg, the father will also talk to calm her down, people from my side sef the same thing. I HAVE NEVER ENDED MY RELATIONSHIP WITH HER even when i had reasons to have done so but she has done so numerous times.

I later spoke with the Dad and told him that immediately finances arrive, i will come in to do the needful. The man told me no problem that he understands the economic situation and once i am ready, i should come in. But my woman was still not stable as it was one issue after another. The same woman that told me when love they sweet that, she would stand by me through thick and thin but when water pass garri, she said NO that it’s only in marriage.

Already people close to me that knew me and her already were concerned about her actions, the way she talks to me, etc and majority told me outrightly to withdraw. I never did but believed she was going to change. As a concerned man, i do sometimes meditate because no responsible man wants to end up with a woman that doesn’t respect her man and can easily be unpredictable in her actions.

I commend her though for her sacrifices. She rejected a guy that had cash, built house and was relatively very comfortable because i knew him. In fact, at a point it was like a competition and my blood pressure was affected when the guy was policing her bumper to bumper since they lived in the same state.

To cut the story short, after several happenings resulting to series of emotional injury, she apologized that she won’t disrespect me again and even knelt down when we finally met to beg and i accepted. Weeks later, she wanted us to meet but i wasn’t chanced to see her and told her i will let her know when i am free. During this time, i was observing her actions but she got upset and told me she doesn’t want the relationship.

I called to resolve the issue but she wasn’t forth coming. Relationship or marriage ooo she said she’s not doing again. I informed the parents and they said it’s not the first time that i should remain calm. I kept calling for resolution in the month of November, December(she only agreed to see me once and her actions weren’t the lady i used to know), January and February but still no show.

Note: Her words to me when she responded was that she can ONLY be my friend that if i don’t want friendship, i should go my way and if i continue to disturb, she will block me. Also note that my finances started picking up late last year and improved early this year to the glory of God.

I continued to beg through the mum till i stopped after realizing that it was stupid of me to have done so. Reason being that i won’t marry the mother and she as a matured lady has the final say to this. I am a principled man and she knows this because Rome wasn’t built in a day. But as a man, i cannot subject myself to all those shenanigans which has always being the problem from the onset. What you beg to enter, you beg to sustain.

So the relationship officially was 1 year and 6 months when she ended it. It was the aspect of reconciliation that kicked off just last month. So my people, even though me i dey sometimes hide inside my shell, i hardly go out at night and i also admit that i can stay for a while without seeing her, but the 4 months is not justified here. Is it not one that you have a relationship with that you can see?

My write up isn’t to castigate her person and it’s also never to praise myself. Seeking emotional advise on Nairaland isn’t my thing but i felt i should throw some light as this will also aid others that wishes to give advise before doing so.

Remain blessed all and excuse my typos.

CC: geniushawlah

Iamd18
jasonscoolari
preetiex
mrphysics
presva
david2
Lakeside79
sisioge
mutemenot
Nwaohafia1
Ambitionsway
Maingwaest
yeyerolling
emerged1
Itsmeurlady
Olajadon
valentineuwakwe
Yoged
Isaacmacdon
Nwalie01
agarawu23
Mowunmiaf
Boyooosa
TGM2015
farady
Style007
Innobarca
Spaxon
Franchasng
Bibicici
Itzonlyme
Patani
Iilyheaven

Read my story, as I type now everything is still the way they are. https://www.nairaland.com/4447411/wife-finally-moved and
https://www.nairaland.com/4457718/update-wife-finally-moved

at times I wonder if Nigerians truly know the definition of integrity ?

Nice one

That hope they will not come to tell us to be praying for him

Clinton9000:
After all the evil you have committed, and people you killed?

Fayose4Presdent:
APC Congress: My allies, Security Agencies betrayed me – Okorocha

authorityngr.com May 7, 2018

From Everest Ezihe, Owerri

Even as he described his detractors in the All Progressives Congress (APC) as cowards, Imo State, Governor Rochas Okorocha, has said that his allies betrayed him during last Saturday’s ward congresses of the party.

The governor did not spared security agencies, whom he accused of compromising their offices during the exercise.

Okorocha stated this in Owerri, the state capital on Monday at the Government House Victory Chapel when he addressed some of his aides and supporters on the outcome of the party election.

He said: “I never knew that all my political opponents and detractors in the party are cowards. These include Senator Godwin Ararume, Prince Eze Madumere, my deputy governor, Senator Osita Izunaso, Sir Jude Ejiogu, Senator Benjamin Uwajimogu and Senator Hope Uzodimma. I caught all of them red handed at Osita Izunaso’s house with the electoral committee officials writing names in the original result sheets.

“I ordered the police to arrest the electoral committee chairman, which the police did, but immediately after the door of Izunaso, the man disappeared. This is my first time of seeing a man disappearing in broad day light,” the governor complained.

Okorocha said that his men were busy preparing for wards congress in various centres unknown to him that his political rivals had advanced plans and hijacked the original result sheets from the members of the electoral committee whom he accused of compromise.

The governor assured his supporters that as a man full of God’s grace he would upturn all the antics of his political enemies and detractors as far as the congress result was concerned, noting that he was in touch with the relevant national stakeholders of the party.

The governor who severally sworn to deal decisively with all his political enemies and detractors also lamented the high level betrayal even from people he trusted as well as security agencies in the state.

Okorocha however enjoined his supporters not to lose hope as he assured them that he is on “top of the situation” and prayed that God should continue to expose all their enemies within.

Ironically, since the ward congress, the political camp of Senator Ararume, along MCC Road, Owerri has turned into a beehive of activities justifying that the people are happy with the outcome of the ward congress.

Similarly, the governor’s camp which is akin to Ugwumba Uche Nwosu political organisation – Ndi agwuru Anyi in New Owerri has been deserted.

Every one of you will suffered what you did to IPOB, and Jonathan

surgical:
you can't say it any better very apt

; master, I greet

nwamehn:
I think u wanted to quote vs 39 not 38. The verse clearly says that the "wife" is bound to the husband so long as he lives. Question is, is a woman whom I have divorced because she cheated on me still my wife? No. If I marry a woman and I catch her having sex with another man and I divorce her and then marry another according to Christ's word in Matthew 19, will the divorced woman still be called my "wife"? No. She is just like an ordinary woman anywhere and if I have sex with her then after the divorce, it's adultery.
So the command Paul gave in 1 Cor 7 vs 39 cannot hold her as Paul made it clear that the command is only for a "wife" to a husband and not an "ordinary woman" anywhere.
Jesus gave us only one condition which we ar allowed to divorce and remarry in Matthew 19 vs 9, which is "adultery".
Paul himself also gave us another condition that we ar allowed to divorce and remarry in that same 1 Cor 7 vs 15, which is "if the unbelieving spouse departs, then the other partner is free to remarry".
1 Cor 7 vs 39 that u ar referring to doesn't in anyway say that I am not free to divorce my wife and marry another if I catch her cheating, it only implies that so long as we choose to remain husband and wife and not divorce, whether we quarrel or separate or fight, we ar bound to each other till death.

My brother thanks for the explanation, I have read the chapters over again, they were clear enough. I hope my post did not misled any body. Thanks for your gentle spirit

ShyCypher:
The Gods Must Be Hungry.

So Buhari's poverty gift to Nigeria went spiritual too?






Wait o! I can see toy car & plastic ball. These gods dey play ball?

Abeg which club dem dey support?

Barcelona

Husband from hell

nwamehn:
Boss, your first point is very biblical, but ur second point? No!
Matthew 19 made it clear that the only condition for u to divorce ur wife or husband and marry another and not be termed a sinner is if he or she cheated on u.
There is no bible reference that says that if u divorce ur wife or husband because of adultery and marry another that u have sinned. If there is any, u can at least point it out maybe we can learn from that too.

1 Corinthians 7.38

It's obvious you never had sex with different girls before marriage. Men you should be happy you have a woman that climaxes quickly, it is a plus for you. It can be difficult to make most ladies climax.please enjoy your wife bikooo

atoleybaba:
u are correct with your first point but ur 2nd point, I understand ur sentiment but u also need to know that being divorce means u are no longer bonded with d person which means u are free to do whatever u wish either to remain single or remarry. Note that separation is different from divorce. So if u divorce, u are no longer yoked together meanwhile if u separate, u are still married but not just staying together. For more info visit www.jw.org

this is your explanation. I think this is how it should be, but this is not what the Bible said. Can you support your explanation with just one bible scripture ? Just one. Brother, there is non.

GrayBeard:
Sharrraaaaap!

oscarwestcoast:
Just say she is qualified and we will be fine. But telling me no Nigerian is as qualified as Chery doesn't make Sense. No nobel Laurette, first degree from London college of economics that was a mere polytechnic in 1975, never served in a board of business conglomerate like Dangote group and you tell me a nation of 180m people does not have her kind. Haba! Are you a Ghanian? Go and google the profile of Chukwuma Soludo, Okonjo Iweala, Sanusi lamido Sanusi, even Dankwombo and Peter Obi have handled tougher task than this your world class champion. Don't because she is a Briton , studied And worked there, earned her awards there, then that will make her superior to all Nigerians.

Google Sanusi Lamido, you will be shocked that his highest qualification is maters in islamic studies

atoleybaba:
actually d bible gives room for separation in a marriage that can lead to one of the partner losing his/her life buh the person is to remain unmarry except on the ground of adultery..... U make d bible had to understand when it is actually a book that can make ur life better...."all scriptures is inspired by God it's beneficial for reproving, for setting things straight, for discipline in righousness visit jw.org and find more interesting thing but d bible that u av not heard of before

I think you should explain in plain English. What I know is this, and I will be happy to be corrected.

1 the only reason for divorce is adultery
2 and when choose adultery instead of forgiveness, then neither party can remarry again until one of the party is dead.

Please if I am wrong, correct me in simple explanation with biblical references

tpacalipse:
Husbands and wives who have ended up killing their partners were able to do so because they never knew when to quit.

Thank you jare, even the Bible has no practical solution to the greatest marital issue. What when one partner dies not want any more. The bible recommends that the innocent partner must still not marry, but wait for the partner to first die...

Good article, but no solution. Resolving a crisis is not just the choice of one of the partners, both parties must be ready to sheath the sword. What about if all one of the party wants is divorce, can you force him or her to remain in the marriage ?

please ohhh, any link

Okoroawusa:
All these names you r calling is just noise

This is a plus for Buhari.This is an indication that he doesn't interfere in processes. Even though all these was pulled by powers that be in Kogi,he has refused to be drawn into it.

I think Buhari is the winner here... I don't know how old you were when Obasanjo was President.

meen, you are something else, so could he have interfere with this one

Gliding:
I think you should carefully consider your options. Are you ready for the consequences of divorce?. What are the laws governing divorce over there? If you are not ready, then start thinking of a soft landing for yourself. I.I amicable resolution of this issue in a way that least bruises your ego

There are no hard and fast rules on divorce. The woman most times gets all the advantages. She comes under government financial care, and if you are working, you most support the kids financially... Concerning amicable resolution, that will be difficult since she is not talking to anybody. This has been going on for years. i think she just want to be by herself. Most women are like that here, the government gives them literally everything

Segzee1:
Help! My Husband is not Coming Home Again Because of What I Did

Dear friends,

Please, I need your advice on a burning issue for my home is currently on fire.

My husband is fond of coming home late in the night. Even on weekend, he will leave home and return late in the night.

His official closing hour from work is 5 pm, Monday to Friday. His office to our house is just 2 hours drive but my husband will not return home until past 12 pm, or sometimes, 1 am.

He has wasted my food and efforts so many times as he always comes back drunk, rejecting my food.

Though he is performing his duty as a husband and a father to our children, I was not pleased with his night crawling. I have confronted him on this issue but he just chose not to change.

So, in my quest to seek help, I discussed the issue firstly with my friend and she advised me on what to do.

She asked me to lock him outside anytime he comes home late and never open the gate for him until the next morning. She promised that my husband never comes home late again.

Presently, I am regretting my action as I am blaming myself for sharing the issue with my friend.

Two weeks ago, my husband came back late as usual, so I follow my friend's advice by not opening the gate for him. After several honing, he called my phone but I ignored his calls twice. I later picked his call at the third time and I shouted at him to go back from where he was coming from.

He ended the call and reversed back as I kept watching him from the window.

The following morning, he came back home begging me. He said he knew that I was very angry with him that was why I behaved like that. He promised to change.

I was very happy, not knowing that he had his own plan.

Days later, he came home during the day when I was not at home and packed some of his clothes and things leaving a letter that I should not look for him.

Is now six days that I've seen my husband last as he is not picking my calls.

I don't want my home to break and I don't want to lose my husband. Please, what should I do?


https://dailyfamily.ng/help-my-husband-is-not-coming-home-again-because-of-what-i-did/

lies

Liar,

Bass123:
Take time to work with this doc I sent you, it might work. You will call me and testify.

thank you Sir

MrCEO69:
Vipbox.so for does asking for link and bookmark the place for any other match next time thank me later.. Tho it's for only PC. Ad to disturb but if u hv ur way you can clear them.

THANKS

dotcomnamename:
We've missed f*cking FIVE goal chances ffs!

ANY LINK PLEASE

Cadec007:
chill....game is still open!

please any link

i beg ohhh any link

Such a fool

janefarms2015:
Im loosing my sleep to respond, I modified my post to talk about the kids, but network was bad. Brother, God forbid bad thing oo, what if u have died in this 'struggle'? Your kids will survive, and dont be surprised she may have poisoned the minds of the innocent kids against u, one day your kids will look for you, your life is important dont give urself hbp

Thank you so much. I am really sorry for disrupting your sleep . Thanks for your thoughts on this issue. Good morning!!!.