₦airaland Forum

Update: We spoke abt the relationship calmly without me even bringing anything up and those messages were during a time when he and I were both feuding and when we both were having doubts so he and I are still together.

omega25red:
simple as pie
ahh good one poster oya answer

yup

gained 10lbs [which is a big deal since I used to be overweight] and straightened my hair for the first time in 9 years.

I can understand it. you dont belong to anyone until you are married, if you dont want to marry someone u should try to get out of it. breakup is far better than a divorce.

I keep giving excuses Lord knows how much we fought in dec. and how much he dislikes brown rice and all types of vegetables and most fruits but I dont care and I cook it anyway cuz u cant eat meat and white rice all day every day and think there are no health consequences especially when he doesn't even exercise and already have cholesterol issues. Or the fact that I'm his longest relationship and he hasnt been this close with another female in a long time, maybe its just cold feet which I've had as well.

We hit the one year mark abt a week ago and he has been evading some serious talks abt the relationship even tho he is the one who said we should have them. Reading those messages yesterday only makes me want to have "the talk" even more. I feel like I can't bring up what I read or else I can see myself instantly ending it. I have to just have the talk about what each person expects of the other person cuz we were supposed to have that discussion since new years.

I'll just pray on it tonight at church and talk to him in a few days.

I am Caribbean American and my bf is Nigerian and we have been together for abt a year. Recently, I found some messages he wrote to some of his female friends abt me and flirting with them. Like he says he is confused or how much he wants a naija girl, how he doesnt like my cooking. One of the girls even confessed to liking him. If all of this is true I wish he would just tell me and stop wasting mine and his time and throughout the whole relationship I have been honest with him [good or bad] and i expect him to do the same. He typically seems more invested in the relationship that I do and talks abt how we will be together for a long time. Ive already met his family a few times and him mine but finding these messages completely throws me off. I do not know what to do.