₦airaland Forum

Jenams: Remain friends with him & let him knw U̶̲̥̅̊ HªvΣ A̶̲̥̅ bf. If he Ȋ̝̊̅§ A̶̲̥̅ matured guy, he'll understand. Dnt treat him anyhow cos U̶̲̥̅̊ Α̲̅я̩̥̊ε̲̣̣̣̥ nt married τ̅☺ Ūя̲̅ bf yet, accordin τ̅☺ ASA_ ₪O one knows tomoro.

Ah haha I guess I'll just try to be as normal as possible but I don't want to be with my friend. Whether I was single or not. He has many issues when it comes to relationships as well as I'm not physically attracted to him.

cowgurl: Let ur frnd go, e'l def com around somday. Gues it js dawned on him dat u both wer perfect pair, his bad! But y do I get d feelin dat if u wer stil single u wud v said yes 2 him?

There was a time, maybe 3 years ago, when he and I were both single when something could've occurred but too much has happened since then. Sometimes you learn too much about a person that puts you off.

Homar: Just tell him you are in a relationship and that you love your bf and that he should try and keep you off his mind .

He knows. At first I just thought it was because he wasn't dating or having sex with anyone but he is, and he is still thinking about me. I told him that I appreciate our friendship and if he wants to end it that's up to him. He can do whatever he needs to do to give him peace of mind.

Its also strange cuz right now he knows my bf is out of the country for a few months so I think he is trying to use it to his advantage to move in.

Earlier this week one of my male friends whom known him for about 7 years told me he has feelings for me and isn't sure if he can continue being friends or even speaking to me because of it. I'm in a relationship and he said he respects my bf but its hard to talk and hang out with me and suppress his feelings. It just makes me wonder about all the times he and I spent together and things that I've said or done could've been seen as being flirty instead of just friendly or playful. And it makes a lot of sense because when he did have a gf she didn't like me and accused me of sleeping with him. Its not like I never suspected him to have a crush I just thought he got over it. If a guy likes me and doesn't do anything about it after a short period of time he is forever in the friend zone.

I just always pictured him as being around for a while and like one of the guys I would invite to my wedding someday. I obviously can't tell my bf about this because he would just tell me to drop him but what should I do? How should I change my interactions with him?

Well there's no way you can be romantic over text message so I would suggest talking to her first off about how she feels about the relationship. Planning more activities for you two to do together, talking about your future together, goals and dreams. Maybe this is just how she is or maybe her life is stressful at the moment or maybe she is pulling away but you won't know unless you ask.

"Stay with him, if you don't you will regret it"

Lets see

If you date multiple ppl at the same time, do your best not to mix them up

Relationships are sacrifice, you have to put in some work, time and effort

You might like other things more than your bf, just don't let him know that

There is no easy way to break up with someone. So just get it done, don't drag it on.

Pick n choose your battles

Compliment him every now and then

neyostica: older or younger

I am six years younger than him

6 years

Thanks everyone, I'll keep you updated

jay bee: Do you have any relatives you can stay with in Naij?
If no, his he planning for you to stay with him and his family?

We haven't spoken in detail about that. However, that is what I am assuming but I wonder when his mother is returning. I would feel more comfortable in a home with his mother, his dad and him as opposed to just my bf and his father whom I've never met.

Anyone on here in one? How do you stay faithful and friendly? Ever since my bf left I feel like certain guys I know have been trying so hard and its getting a bit more difficult. And with my courses and my work I interact with a lot of people and I don't want to be beguiled by anyone. I try going to church and I speak with my bf a few times a week. To be honest, I get into a lot more trouble with my female friends than I do my male. Most of my male friends are not as promiscuous as the females so it makes it difficult to even know who to hang around during my down time. I just need more willpower n prayer.

krispycash: kate, this issue goes in two ways, he is either looking for a way to get his family to accept u on a more general note, which is a good thing... but on the other hand, ask him where ul be put residing for the duration of your stay with him... in his family house would mean general acceptance, based on the fact that the family has accepted you into the family or in a hotel, meaning there's a hiccup with u meeting or being accepted by the whole family,(maybe if theres a village girl in the picture) like in those naija home videos

I will talk to him about it next time that way I know how serious he is. It's just a bit more complicated given that I already have an internship for the summer and currently its just him and his father in Nigeria right now, his mother and all of his other siblings are in the States. I do want acceptance, I just wish he would've brought this too my attention sooner so I could plan accordingly. I don't like being told things like this last minute. I don't base my life on his schedule.

omega25red: your questions should go to your boyfriend because all you will get here are guesses and your man is the only one who can put things in perspective for you.

Advice: why not ask him things like do you thing your dad is ready to meet me? or how do we introduce ourselves to your dad when i meet him. simple questions like that will give you what you are looking for

I will ask him next time we communicate. Its funny cuz before he left his sister was all like "When are you going to visit him?". So far, I know my bf has already spoken to me to his father a few times. If I don't end up visiting I can just wait a few more months to meet him.

twinkles286: @ op i really think there is any harm in visiting him apart from the financial cost. but this visit is likely to put in perspective what u re guys re doing together and where the relationship is headed. i think this is a rare and good opportunity. be open minded and enjoy ur visit. do all ur analysin when u get back to base.

Alright. Well now I have to move around my summer plans and budget accordingly

Depends. If i asked him out or planned the date, then I have no problem splitting or paying. If he asked me out, he is paying. The latter, is usually the case. And when that happens I don't even bring my wallet. But of course, if it becomes a relationship I have no issue paying at times especially if I know he is struggling financially and if I'm the one who wanted to go out.

My bf left about a month ago to do some work with his father in Nigeria for a few months. Yesterday, he asked me if I can come visit him. As much as I like him I wonder what this trip could signify in our relationship. I've already met a few members of his family [his brothers and 2 of his sisters] and his mother but if I went this would be the first time I met his father. Should I? And what does it mean for me to go visit? How important is it? Is this his way of "claiming" me or presenting me to his family and his friends back home? I just don't want to start to believe something is true about our relationship that isn't.

We have been in a relationship for about a year.

Dyt:
^ n suddenly, he stops bein nice n god fearin, den wat happens?

ha trust me, he isn't all those things all the time. He is human, has his flaws, nobody is good all the time. But it depends on his heart, the kind of person he is and the kind of person he strives to be. If he stopped being nice AND God-fearing I would probably just chalk it up to a bad moment as long as its only a moment, if it continues all i can do is pray on it. I can't make someone be someone they aren't and someone they don't even want to be.

3 maximum because that's all that can fit in a mid-size vehicle. I don't want to drive around a huge truck all the time

I love him because,

I like him to the point that i dont want him to like anyone else
He is helpful
God-fearing
I want to be nicer because of him,which is really quite remarkable I haven't met many ppl who make me want to be a nicer person
He challenges me
Makes me laugh
Admire that he has passion for his family and his career
He is honest

Of course I like the way he looks physically too and the way he way he treats me but its a combination of mind, body and spirit.
All relationships even friendships require sacrifice and I'm willing to make sacrifices for him and he is for me as well.

Dinner and movie at home with the bf. Simple.

But when Im single I usually just spend the day/evening with friends who are also single. No biggie. Just a day spent with ppl I love.

Depends on the guy. Typically don't try to go younger than 4yrs since Im 24. Sometimes younger guys have it together more than the older ones. To each their own

Personally, I love it when my bf helps me out in the kitchen. I like to watch him cook or clean. But sometimes I can be very controlling and tell him to get out. So it all depends on the person, and their mood.

Don't care
Actually I want to earn more. I have more expenses. If he has an issue with it, he will just have to deal, I can't have someone spend their money on me all the time.

drnoel:
It depends. B4 I got hitched I didn't like must of my girlfriend's (now my wife) friends. We had some misunderstanding about it then and later settled it. Ya, she said she's known them b4 she met me and all but as human being we don't see everything around us. Sometimes its people around us that points things out b4 we realize that they must be right. Anyway, she realized the ladies were not her true friends when some of them started getting at her and one of them asked her if she won't mind sharing me. That really freaked her out. She cut most of them out then. Much to my relief.

I understand. It does help to have someone else's opinion who is not involved in the friendship. And I have distanced myself a little from the friends who seem so adamant on spreading rumors or trying to act as if they are in the relationship with me and my bf.

You shouldn't ignore him. That makes you look stupid and childish. Just tell him you arent attracted to him physically, you can't force physical attraction, either you feel it or you don't. But think abt the decision, if his height is that big of an issue then let him go and find another girl to court, dont led him on or string him along.

It all depends on what you know abt her. U shouldnt buy anything expensive anyway because u and her are just friends at the moment. Some options: Her favorite food, a card, a dvd she enjoys, balloons, candy.

Keep it simple.

Yes,
One of my friends met my bf and she didn't like him. Told him I should dump him, and then proceeded to recommend men she was friends who and who she thought I should be interested in. I can't break up with someone just because a friend wants me to. And this isnt the first time she has tried to get her friends to break up with their bfs/gfs if they dont have her approval. If everyone in my life hated him, it would be a diff story. long story short. Still got my bf and my friend.

Also had an old bf told me that he hated my friends and that I should stop beings friends with them. Clearly, I had known the friends for over 8 yrs and only dated this guy for 2 months at that time. Told him to get over it, he did.

I dont take ultimatums.

Been there before. (Last year actually)
It was difficult. I just tried to remain upbeat and strong and made sure he had the necessary time and tried to plan things to do together that would lift his spirits. The motivation and drive have to come from him.

hair, lips, legs