₦airaland Forum

sisilove: stil waitin to get a mail frm a serious minded dude.

Ok, this one is really lewd.
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10:15pm, Orile Central Police station.
The desk phone rings and Officer Tunde picks up; this is what he hears:
''Help! Police, help! My boyfrnd is forcing me! He's RAP!NG me right now! Help! Ooooh! Aaaahhh! Can u - ooohh God! Oooh God! Yesss! Oh yesss! Oh yesssss! Oh NOOOO! Arrest - arrest - arriiiyyyooohhh! Arrest him TOMMORROWWWWWWWWW!!!!''
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Ruqaya, do u know that holding back laughter can give u cancer of the cheeks?

bakila: Disrespect to planing control and regulations have led to the incidence in this thread and other parts of the country.

True. So true.
I was born in Maiduguri, and i've lived in Onitsha, Owerri, Lagos, and Sokoto. Currently residing in P.h now, but my folks still live in Onitsha. So i know the problem is a general one; building contractors disregarding regulations is a perennial issue in Nigeria.
As for the collapsed building, Feggae happens to contain most of the oldest buildings in Osha. My guess is the collapse was due to weakened reinforcements; ijust pray no lives were lost.

Its amusing that no matter the type of discussion raised on NL, it always dissolves into an argument of ''my tribe/state/language is better than yours''. It really says a lot about the mind-set of the average nigerian.
Meanwhile some other bunch of goody-two-shoes are sitting comfortably in another man's country and fuming in righteous anger at the under-development of their OWN country. If it disgusts y'all so much, why dont you come over and do something about it? Otherwise just offer your own sympathy or opinion or whatever, and jejely go on your ''developed'' life. Saying Nigeria is ''impoverished'' is a very sweeping statement, but no wahala, accepted. So thank you, but we ALREADY know that.

Imagine, silverbird site is down!!! Shytteee!!!

Avengers is out Dam.n, why am i not in Lagos?? Dis P.h sabi dull o! Mtscheww... **going 2 check silverbird.ph movie list...***

Ruqaya: i mean ur joke jhoor
mtcheww

I really tried hard to say something equally nonchalant and onerous... I really really tried. But ruqaya, i'm so sorry, i cant... I can only imagine your mouth doing that ''mtcheww''... LOLZZZ!!...

Ruqaya: Nice

nice wat?

bright007: Where is d joke?

Verily verily i say unto thou, unless thou first findeth thy misplaced sense of humor, ye shall not find this joke. And may the believers say Amen!

Here's another:
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Teacher: Akpos, make a sentence with the word ''Harassment''.
Akpos: I was in love with a girl and Her-A$$-Meant a lot to me!
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jennykadry: I do not believe in 50-50 in marriage and that has always applied even before marriage. A man must go extra miles to foot his wedding... Am I the one marrying him? Did I propose to him? Out of a million he chose me, so please let him do his work

Lmao! I don die! Lol... ''Out of a million''; only 1million? E suppose pass na, mehn u must be foine! Where were u when Agbani won Miss World sef?
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Hey chaircover, u agree with this too?

debosky: So he has not earned trust by footing 100% of the bill for setting up their home? Does he need to sell his left testicle to prove financial trust?

Lmao! I no know oo! Ask her!

U know, i'm wondering what OP's husband would do if he saw the advices the ladies have been giving her... One even said the man has to ''prove'' that he's a man first...financially, i guess. I'm smiling in latin.
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@chaircover, i'm glad u'r happily married (never mind the 'arsenal and manchester' jibe ), but frankly a distilled summary of what you're saying here is no way to start a marriage. Debo and Mr.Jay have digressed enuf on it; i think i'll spare my fingers the stress.
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@OP, u must hate my guts by now, i called u ''mgbeke'' afterall . Others have given you other alternatives: cut costs, postpone, etc. But i have one more thing to say: If at this time and age u still believe that the cost of a wedding/marriage should be borne by the man, so that you will ''respect'' him, then u truly ARE an ''mgbeke''.
Enough said.

@chaircover, its obvious the amount of respect you have for your so-called man is directly proportional to the weight of his pocket. My my.
Well, i suppose the gentlemanly thing to do now is wish u the best and ignore the thread... But u know what? I dont think i wish u the best. Matter of fact i certainly do NOT wish u the best; what i wish is that a more caring, understanding, sexy-as-a-vixen woman who has bigger and juicier arsenal and manchester comes along quickly and snatches your man away! Yep, thats what i wish!
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Damnn, i feel better now! Aah, now where did i leave my pack of benson...?

steph7: Didn't he also know that his rent will expire september, abi he was planning on selling the gifts and the money people spray them on the wedding day as rent.personally I don't  anything wrong in contributing, but definitely the man has to bring in more. OP shine your eyes well o!n be sure that man really loves you.

And now because the dude has effed up his finances, his love is suddenly being questioned... Says a lot about how the average woman thinks. I mean, why even bother marrying, when the first sign of financial difficulty makes u wonder if he loves u?? Oh wait, i see it now, ''if he loves u, then he should have money to marry and keep u''; that's right, shey??
And tommorrow, another 35-yr-old spinster will come here and start wondering why she's still single...

jennykadry: I did not contribute a dime. Some of you's need to understand that tribes play a vital role in issues like this. I am a solid Igbo girl and I guess the OP is, judging from her username. Where I come from the groom pays for everything, no shaking, if you can't afford it then you are not ready for marriage.

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Girls like you are the reason other igbo girls are looked upon as gold-diggers. See her mouth, ''no shaking''. Obviously u've never earned a single naira note in your miserable life. At such a time when other women are breaking off such backward practices and asserting their places by being partners instead of slaves/dependants in marriage, you are here happily annoucing that you had absolutely NOTHING to support your hubby with, and chorusing ''no shaking!'' to it! Mgbeke 7-up, oya clap 4 yourself. M.U.squared.
I'm actually happy u started with ''where i come from...''; obviously that ''no shaking'' bull is exclusive to that dirt-ridden, provincial, backwater village of yours. Shame on you.

@OP,
Your stupidity is simply astounding! U want your hubby to borrow so u cn have the classic wedding?? What are you, naija's version of the dumb blonde?? Ewu gambia.
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Mmmmm, yelling and cussing at people can have a rly nice therapeutic effect...

Still can't find my weed ...

Yeah, i know this is archives, man... But seriously, i mean, seriously seriously now, WERE NL JOKES THIS LAME SIX YEARS AGO??

190: a british girl without a single teeth is better than a nigerian girl with 200 tooth - 190,2012

Its a joke, right? Okaaay, now where's that punch line again...

Wtf?? Y'all should lay off the dude jor! Dont u understand english?? ''Prove me wrong'', he says, ''PROVE''. So where yo proof at??
Mtscheww. Where my weed at?

Ruqaya: not impressive

What part of ''jump and pass'' dont you understand??

[quote author=Na-Me]See wetin this thread don turn to. The stupid thing is that many Nigerians, including Igbo, Yoruba & Northerners got killed or injured less than 24hrs ago.[/quote]My broda na so i see am too o I commented on this thread yesterday, and 24hrs later this is what it has degenerated to. I'm really sad for this country. If NL is a reliable reflection of what the average igbo, yoruba, hausa/fulani/northerner, or niger deltan thinks, then Hope has truly fled these lands. All that remains now is the count-down to another Rwandan-styled genocide.