₦airaland Forum

seems NairaEx got no answer to my questions

seun:
Why not? Why should ladies be wasting time with you if you're not interested in marriage? Afterall, once they get older you will abandon them and go for the next young thing in skirts.

One thing that really amazes me about a lot of us, is we really do find it hard to be a little bit honest about what is around us, why people do what they do or even to the extent of really admitting your real true feelings about something. We only bombard with responses based on what people might think is right, or what might be acceptable in the debating world, not what really is what you feel about the issue at stake.

You see honestly, I would say most guys date women, not because of the marriage from day one, especially if the guy is around his late teens and early adulthood. When a guy is really ready for marriage, and the propose of dating the lady is for marriage, the relationship doesn't really go that far.........at most a year, just to get to know her well, except on instances which leads to procrastinations brought about by events.

When I look back at the topic "Ladies and the thought of marriage", I wouldn't say that I personally would date a lady from day one because of marriage. Honestly. But then there are other reasons why we as guys date ladies other than what everybody claims that is sex. I would date a lady for just company for example. I would date a lady to relieve the tension around me, as in the case of stress. Ladies are really good in helping out especially when it comes to relieving stress, with the use comforting words and their caressing.

Besides that there are also numerous reasons, such as attraction by beauty of the lady which fades away after a while. And therefore the relationship might be off after that beauty fades so to speak. Others might be charisma etc..... But what I found that was nobody actually mentioned all this. I am sure a lot of guys on this forum have ladies they are dating, and their propose is not marriage.

If a lady mention marriage to me now, I would run away. Honestly. Because I do have plans for my life, and this is not the time to be even taking a sneak preview of marriage at all. What I make sure I do at the beginning of all my relationship is to tell you what I am after, why I am dating you and nothing more. If I said I love a lady. that does not necessarily mean I want to marry her.

From what I can read from the dictionaryLove is a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

So a relationship is just a higher degree of friendship, nothing more. Marriage is something else. Honestly. Its entirely a new beginning to an everlasting relationship between the parties involved.
But mere dating someone is not everlasting............. Please we should know that honesty in our response is what makes us who we are. Not saying something and doing something else in reality.

"Most rapes occur at night by strangers lurking in dark places."

Hum most? Depends on the location. Location in terms of city, state, country ? I mean lets take a look at South Africa for example. Most Rapes there occur during the day.


"Most women cry 'rape' to get back at someone they are angry with."

Well not true, but there have been reported instances, where a girlfriend reports her boyfriend for rape, when they are quarelling. Happens is Asia.

"Only women get raped."

Well Men also get raped. Read it before in the news. Especially in the cases of Older women sleeping with underaged boys in the USA and UK.


"When a person commits a rape, he/she is mostly interested in sex."

Well this one you have to ask the rapist or the psychologist . I have no idea.


"If someone was raped, they must have been asking for it."

Asking for rape does not justify the reason to rape, under any circumstances. But do ladies ask for rape?


"A lot of times a rape could be prevented if the person had only fought harder."

This is not true, because in cases of gang rapes fighting against the assultants only leads to more damages (tears, wounds or even murder ) when things go out of control. Fighting against it has never been proved effective.

"The rape is not so bad if you know the rapist."


What? Its like saying Murder is not so bad if you know the assassin.

"If you don’t report, it’s not rape."

Whether you report or not, unconsesual sex, as in without the consent of the other party under any condition is rape.

"If you don’t resist or fight back, it isn’t rape."

Man this questions are driving me crazy? What?

"When someone says no, they really mean maybe."

That is not true. When someone says no especially when it comes to sex, it is NO, the person means it. But I have heared people argue, that their girlfriend likes rough sex and therefore, she likes saying NO and submitting later!! Well I really dont know about that, but come to think of it we arent animals for christ sake.


"If he paid for a date, she owes him something in return."

Well another ideology that a lot of people have. Thats not true. At the first place did she beg you to ask ger for the date? So whatever you spend is your problem. She owes the guy nothing.

It’s not rape if a person is too drunk or high to resist sex."

Resist in what sense? A drunk person raping? havent heared of such occurencies, the only one I have heared of is a drunk lady beign raped. and please under any circumstances , the definition of rapes would always stand.

Seun !! Trust me its not the education from home that really brings about the difference. Look at the manners and respect we are all taught at home, and the way we uphold them. Lets be real here. its just what we hear all this Health related NGOs talk always on, educate your child !! they always emphasis. But really i have not seen a tangible effective reason !!. Culture is still a big obstacle to the issue in question besided even going ahead to tackle the effects of such education.

We Africans have limit in what we discuss with our parents, and honestly if we look arround us, the average African child does not have problem in that relation compare to the Average American or British child. They are having sex at the age of 10 for Christ sake!! and what happen to the early education? For sure thats not effective.

seun:
Firstly, I am confused of the business to do. Secondly, I live in an environment whereby a lot of people mind there own business.

I would say to be confused is absolutely normal especially when you are left with only N4000 without a job. Living an environment where people mind their own business does not also denote that there is nothing that can be done.

seun:
Thirdly, I am a student at the same time a worker as a computer operator. Unfortunately I lost my job. Instead of me sitting down at home doing nothing, that is why I am asking you to advise me on what to do with N4000.00 thousand naira so that I can generate it, instead if lacking.

Great!! you are student although i cannot promise that you might earn a multi-thousand Naira profit from any business plan that starts with 4000 naira, But i can ascertain that you wont lose your money if carefully and properly planned. As Seun commented the amount is really small, but that does not denote that it wouldn't do something wonderful. So what kind of business would work ?

I can say this or that, but i can help you in relation to seeing what might work. SO i would ask questions and base on that we can be of help to each other. Which kind of school are you into? High institution i suppose due to the nature of you work which happens to be in the age category in question.

Do the students in your school have trouble concerning any particular service or goods?

Do you have other funds or means in supporting yourself apart from this 4000 Naira?
If someone has a business plan for you and ready to invest, would you be accountable? Honest answer please

and last of all please elaborate on the type of school environment you study in.

jogego:
I think we cant look at this topic without looking at the operating environments in Nigeria vis a vis the develope countries.

Good Point raised, and thats more the reason why we should stay at home, and try to do something Otherwise who would do it for us? He who runs away from a battle would live to fight it again All this developed world that you see, The USA etc did not start building their infrastructure by waiting till the government does that, people started building from nothing to something, and thats what we are actually running away from, Is Building our own countries future!!. We Nigerians are just looking for the easy way out in everything.

jogego:
Most Nigerians have very good jobs, have their own houses , good careers etc.

Yes Nigerians have very good jobs , might own their own home and might have a good career but the issue here is how Nigerians? you said Most? Nigerians living abroad!!! I need your help on this issue please. Honest response would really be appreciated. Thank you.

Well go for surgery and change your gender then

Well frankly speaking, i wouldn't feel comfortable discussing things related to sex with my parents. And besides come to think of it? how many of you would be comfortable with that?

But Tayotina really come to think of it. are you not exaggerating the situation a little bit? I mean the guy goes to work right? and that means he is only maybe getting breakfast before he goes that is if and only if the lady is living with him. And besides comes back after lunch, many Nigerians eat lunch at work. Very few actually come back home. So its dinner? and really as i said thats only if the lady is living with him, and how much really does a man eat for dinner?

And if i might quote from what you said.

Tayotina: It is so annoying sometimes when he calls because all he ever asks of is food and nothing else be it breakfast, lunch or supper.

When he calls? and its sometimes? maybe the lady in question is just slightly overreacting? or she is just lazy? (In that case using that as a reason) or maybe she made the mistake on winning his heart with food? and now she wants to stop what she taught him to get used to? i mean give that angle a taught really, don't you think

Just curious NairaEx, what billing address would i use if i happen to use your prepaid visa cards?

see me see trouble o. Guys you see them

legry:
and for crying out loud they aren't married yet, so how does he expect 24hrs attention!

OK Thank goodness a lady finally says it out loud. My Ex ladies need to read this. When you are not married to a lady you shouldn't give her 24hrs attention !! that is very fair !! i think its a good concept although she is saying the lady shouldn't give the guy 24 hrs attention , but i think its fair if i apply it the other way round.. Hope you don't mind

I guess what he meant was odd jobs such as cleaning toilets, streets or even the worse of all a security guard is not stressful in America. Because is the whitemans soil

Well the fact is all those struggler's in the USA are just suffering !!!. Its an interesting routine. They work day and night, eat burgers (thinking its good food, some people in Nigeria envy them stupidly), pay their fees thats if they happen to be furthering their studies (which is quite rare, most of the time they lie), save some money, come back to Nigeria for holidays(if possible), spend the whole money extravagantly to show they are rich (which apparently they are not), Go broke, fly back to the USA and start back from square one.

Now many emphasized greener pastures, may i know the cost of living in the USA please? compare to even income an average School Cert Holder would get. From what i know its pittance and you really work day and night trying to earn a few thousands.

If you are going to the USA to futher your studies, and you can afford it, that is cool, but in the case that you happen to so called win the lottery which is another slavery in disguise, or struggle to eventually get a visa and move on to the USA . All i can say is, it is slavery, no matter how much lucky you become. You are slave, but a new generation slave , a paid slave, that is.

Why not stay in Nigeria and invest the money spent for getting the visa and undertaking the trip into a business or something worth doing. The business does not have to earn you dollars at the beginning, you might lose everything too, that is if the business doesn't go well, but the point is you have learned something, and you can become a better person in your own country. But even going bankrupt or penniless from a business is really rare in Nigeria !!. We are heavy consumers to goods and services, and i am sure there are a lot of things yet to be explored.

All i have to say is stay at home, and you would be glad you did.My friends would say leave home for greener pastures so that i can have more opportunities to explore at home

Well compare to neighboring African countries and many other distant African countries, we really have come of age !! I mean how many Ghanaian websites or Senegalese websites etc do we have on the net? But when it comes to Nigerians, we indeed have made a record, and the community is growing day by day even as i speak. So i would say in the local aspect yes we have come of age, but in the international scene we do have a long trip ahead of us.

Ah seems you don't have a humour for my sarcasm? i was just being sarcastic

One of the features of you phone is WAP 1.2.1 over GPRS or dial-up connection. So i guess you could download from the net via Gprs over wap? there are many sites out there that allows you to download free polyphonic ringtones. You could try a google search and i am sure you would get some sites that also have their wap version, where you cold easily download the polyphonic ringtones.

But the thing is choice? you don't really get what you want, free stuffs are quite not that unique. Doesn't Nigeria have the SMS for Ringtones service providers? where you get charged for requesting for a polyphonic ringtone of your choice and it would be sent to you?

Yes i would date an older lady, infact i have only dated only just one younger lady !! I think my reason is more of the maturity aspect rather than age, other reasons would be understanding etc. Age is just numbers really when it comes to love. But i wont date someone that is old enough to be my mum. Infact I wouldn't date a lady older than me for more than 3 years. Reasons? Taste not really age again. Too old very unpleasant, especially when it comes to getting committed as in official.

Finally !! A lady came to the rescue...................very true. We are like babies, when we are in love . We can be very charming, sweet,caring and whatelse? cant think of anything more

hum ? 4,000 Naira ? Wondering? Tricky but there is.But the thing is i would have love to ask this guy, what business can he do? Where is he located? And what kind of environment is he surrounded by as in terms of maybe students, workers, hawkers etc? That way i can tell of a possible business that might work around him, but generally i would narrow it down to the areas of Home related Business as in working from his bedroom. so if this questions are answered then and only i could help with a possible business idea.

But Chigzy what is definition of love to you? i mean it would really be nice if define what it means to you before saying a few men...................(And the percentage please since you seem to have experiences i suppose)

Chigszy:
But eventually even the most notorious player amongst the male population will fall in love but then it might be too late and the love is not recipocrated!!
Men love but women fall in love . There is a huge difference

Reminds me of the movie titled Alfie Starring Jude Law........ . Well frankly i would really appreciate if you are really a bit generous about your opinions about men

Paraguay

Lolz what a question to raise? But first of all have I ever double dated before? Not really because double dating to me would be asking two ladies out at the same time for a date but then again I have gone out with two ladies at the same time. I mean sincerely. Reasons? it just happened. Well you cant say I cheated on my first lady or something, nothing really happened between me and the second one, Honestly. it was just a few days.............and besides come to think of it, I didn't tell the first one I was going to marry her or I was in love, it wasn't official.

I think Double dating an official lady is wrong. Apart from that, I think it's ok, if you know your limits. Just be principled.

Yes this is love. Kitchen slavery love . The Guy is the master and the lady is the slave. Nothing much to say just that, African culture when it comes to relationships between the realms of the lady (as the girlfriend) taking good care of the guy (as the boyfriend) is really cool. I love it. I need an African lady (Any available one?)

Seun is that an excuse ?

Does that justifies the reason why it is obligatory for the guy to give when asked to show that he is not selfish at getting the best for himself common lets be real here.

And Seun the nice understanding guy, there is nothing to be sympathetic about.

Are you a lady? well i guess so. what alarms me is how you put it so plainly. "Give her money". Goodness what has relationships turned to this days. i mean i taught you guys are in love?? See the reason why sometimes i come to think that women are the call for the way they are being treated in a relationship?

oluflo:
my question is especially to guys. because I don't understand hw a man who is rich enough, can go singing luv to a very humble and understanding woman, and yet does not give her money. & when she asks.

If it happens that i happen to be rich, what does that have to do with me being in love with a girl and the responsibility of having to give her money when she ask for it? i just cant believe that someone can go ahead and say i have to give money when she ask!! We are not married for heavens sake, and giving her money is just like giving charity to the needy, not really a must do thing, just according to how i feel like doing. Because when i happen to be in a relationship all i needed at the first place was love from her and in return i give love back, not money back.

We all need to be carefull with ladies this days o..................

Well i would recommend that he louge a police report, and giving strict instructions to the guards not to allow the contractor to enter the premises. Well about the away from work threats the only help me might be able to get is from the Nigerian police. And i am sure they would be very helpful

You can download and crack.

But I cant teach you how; just do your research.