₦airaland Forum

Men don't fall in love? Maybe my lady was hurt recently. my sympathies.
I think when it comes to love i really would put the big ? on the table because many ladies think love is being Romeo. And if the guy is not like Romeo, that means he is not in love or does not show love, whatever that means. Now love again some people would argue that it doesn't at all exist, we just created it to feel good about ourselves as humans that we are caring! The same people would support it with saying what people define based on their understandings or some dictionaries define as love as of the following and i quote from www.answers.com

# A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

# A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.

and much more...................

And i believe, thats the meaning when we define it in English language. Now when someone says "Men don't love". i would really appreciate if that persons defines what he or she really meant by that Love she mentioned so that we can tackle the accusations objectively, rather than assuming based on what we understand as love. Otherwise we wouldnt understand each other. So my lady "otibouncing" . i would really appreciate if you define what to love someone means to you. Otherwise i don't really know where to start and where to end.

I think this is a good idea, and in terms of the price I would say 15 Naira is just perfect, affordable at least. Well I would think adding a paid reply feature also would be great.

For the membership package, I would say it would be good news to all of us urging to show our links for publicity in whatever we are doing.

Anyways I love the whole concept, I mean don't you guys think it is a good idea?

Well as we all know one of the postage services by NIPOST is the EMS Speedpost Services. I am planning to use such services in the future, and I was thinking whether anyone has experience is using the service. Whether it be good or bad in terms of reliability or even duration taken to deliver.

So ladies and gentlemen, I need your testimonials. I would be very grateful.

just wondering. Is it true that Akwa Ibom has its own private electricity source and supply. As in they are currently boycotting Nepa? A friend told me. i just would like to confirm.

Apart from Nigeria not been a cashless economy, A possible problem that might arise is the acceptability by online merchants. When it comes to credit cards with Nigerian addresses, i would even raise an eyebrow seriously.

Well a lot might say,even the greatest America has a huge reputation in terms of credit card frauds within the country itself, But Nigeria is not America, we are Africans, and so far with our reputation online in terms of online frauds we would really face a lot of difficulties in getting accepted, especially when credit card is issued within Nigeria with a Nigerian billing address.

A lot of online merchants would be very skeptical because of the possibilities of chargebacks when a transaction happens to be fraudulent, and besides a lot of issues apart from frauds would come alive when utilization begins.

Well in short, i don't think Nigerian issued credit cards would really be of much use. But well we might not know, the trend might change. Online merchants could use policies such as "only ship to billing addresses" etc. That might be a possible solution, but really i am looking forward to the usage. Thats is really a good news.

So well I don't see any link here, and besides ? so since we are cursed? as you said we are. then nothing can be done. Lets just sit down and watch our generation perish and destroy each other. I cant really believe that some people actually believe in such things. well I rest my case. no futher comments.

Interesting opinions so far, I don't even know where to start or what to even say. Maybe start on the issue on being cursed backwards, step by step. Is the African Continent cursed, or specifically Nigeria? Cursed by who? maybe the person that raised the issue on my motherland being cursed should tell me the answer because I am really anxious.

What makes you and I today in terms of character and definition of what is good and evil is the difference in training, experience together with the environmental factors around us while we were being brought up by our lovely parents. I personally didn't grow up under those stringent conditions that I totally classify "Child Abuse" and that does not make me a spoilt kid, or uncultured or unmannered whatever implies. But then again when you talk about sparing the rod, it does not mean beating up a kid for nothing ? thinking you are training him or her. it doesn't work. we just end up creating a sense of hatred and pain in the children.

They end up growing up in need for revenge to the pain they underwent during their development. Infact Seun's question, gives us a lot to think about. The truth is we believe so much in our orthodox system and its really ruining us, and would continue to ruin us if we continue to implement them.

Things like corruption for example? how does it develop. I think its from "greed" and where does "greed" comes from ? well we really need to address the problem right from the source to the origin. Referring to spiritual aspect is just uncalled for . Lets be real.

Well all i have to say is better be safe than sorry. When you are dating a lady or guy (whichever implies), thats is normal dating which probably is due to plain attraction or maybe crush etc, and does not really have anything to do with anything like future proposals to marriage , testings is really uncalled for, i would say just play safe. Even if you happen to be promiscuous, so to speak, make sure you protect yourself. Forget that he or she may also be protecting himself or herself.

Now the moment he or she proposes, which is the later most of the time as in the guy proposing, Drag him for a test before you even think about saying a Yes, Not only test for sickle cell Anaemia, you can do various test for STDS, HIV, and even Fertility and maybe sperm counts for men, if you are thinking of having babies (some are not . You might think its way too outrageous to ask for such tests. But frankly you would be glad you did.

You wouldn't want to be married, and then start regretting and blaming yourself for every single occurrences that comes into existence later on. If you want a happy married life, please do the test, before even saying yes.

Can we ever know the right person? When we look around us, we see happy couples or the so called "Happily Married people" but have we visited their lives? do we know if they are happy or not? you really cant tell.

The right person I would say is not always the right person, if we try to be judgemental about it. This is because emotions and feelings would come in, and judgemens through emotions?. How tangible can it be? Normally emotions blind choices or even our decision in life, and how can we know the right person, when choices like falling in love are governed by such factors?

We cannot run away from it, thats why we have fantasy. we always do !!. My recommendations would be explore reasonable things that comes along, but know when its time to leave. You would sure find the guy , that the exit door is just not there. Destiny does have a huge impact on such choices I believe. Do you believe in Destiny? if you do then you do not have a problem . Just play safe I would say.

Now the trend of the topic is changing. well first of all i would like to say that not everybody has to go to school and earn a certificate.

Everybody should go to school you might say? right? OK who would be my maid? a graduate from a university? who would be my butler or even mechanic? a university graduate.

when we tend to look, at the situation, its not the educational background nor even the millionaire achievement if you might call it that, that is really an important factor that needs to be sufficed before we can even take a glance at marriage. We said meeting the right guy? does time really justify that? Marrying our best friend? Trust me i have had best friends that have really disappointed me. But thats not the issue. The issue is the right age for marriage. But then again we say for the right age we have to have this , we have to have that. Then what really is primary? Maturity and financial stability? or even more?

And before i forget i would like to say happiness comes with scarifies and endurance, and its not natural. This applies to happiness in marriage too.

The right age for marriage, I would say, is immediately after mental maturity, which is around the age of 18 for the male and around 16 for the female. Well there is a condition which is the ability to be able to take care of the wife and the family financially and morally, but then again we shouldn't forget the issue of education which might arise and conflict with the family needs in the aspect of being there and all that. So I would say the best time is after secondary school providing the requirement is fullfilled.Well frankly then again, actually its really a very difficult issue to really tackle because we do have different values, in terms of religious background and cultural values.

In my University, we do have Iranians that are married, and studying with their wives and infact they are happy and I can see that, because they are always hanging out with each other and the brightness of their face says it all. Most of this Iranian colleagues are only 19 to around 20, and frankly I am happy for them. Well if there is the money, I would say why not?

Defining "going out" or Dating. Is it the issue? . Well we do have to define it to be able to understand what it is all about. The threads topic if I am not mistaken was on "Dating".

Now for a married man to be dating in wedlock is totally wrong. Dating the married man also is wrong too. There is infact nothing to justify the date, except in a scenario whereby the lady is going to be his second or third or even fourth wife and thats with the consent of his other wives or wife, then that can be a reasonable excuse. Well we live in a world where polygamy is practiced especially in a country like Nigeria, so i guess we cant raise an alarm if we happen to see someone going for a second wife.

When it comes to going out, well its OK. The married man can go out with any lady he wants, providing its "going out" which from my own understanding means just hanging out for a dinner or maybe a visit to a place.

Interesting. Well, dating a married man might be cool to some, an unforgiveable crime to a few, and a taboo to many. The question here tends to link with moralities which guide us toward so called right paths and justified reasoning. Well the point here we need to address and judge from is what really, this dating involves or all about? Is it just a friendly dinner as friends? Or something that would lead to bed?

If that issue is addressed then we would be able to pinpoint, on what is good and what is bad. And therefore a good angle of argument can be launched. I classify hitting the issue from a religious angle really lame. Please let the issue at stake be addressed, and let's remove emotions. Thank you.