₦airaland Forum

@ Mikuz - Why d hate?

He is a sharp Man! No mumu for Naija.

Yoruba teacher to an Ibo boy struggling with Yoruba language.
Teacher: Translate this sentence to Yoruba
language "The two bank robbers."
Student: Ummm, mmm "The meji bank ole."
Teacher: You mean Dimeji Bankole!

A guy was gisting his friend - I told her : " I might not be rich, I have no money or villa or cars or companies like my friend John, but I love you and adore you". She looked at me with tears in her eyes and hugged me like there is no tomorrow and whispered in my ear, : If you love me introduce me to John, "

@ zealot - Surry ooooh

Husband: I have a problem at the office.
Wife: After marriage, you don't say I have a problem, say we have a problem.
Husband: Ok, We are expecting a baby from OUR Secretary

Pastor: Turn to ur left and say to your neighbour 'it shall be permanent in ur life'. A young boy turned to his left and saw an slowpoke. Apparently confused, he stared at the slowpoke for some minutes and said to him ''don't mind the pastor''. The slowpoke replied ''na God save u, I for use slap kill you today!

zealot4me:
gezzzzzzzzzz! dats serious! thank Dod they didn't find misplaced condom

U try!

An Ibo man was converted to Islam, after all said and done; he was asked what name he would like to bear, he was given options of Ibrahim (Abraham), Suleiman (Solomon), Musa (Moses) and others. He asked what good were the names, then the Imam told him that if u choose any name there will be hope that God will bless you the way he blessed those with the names originally, then the Ibo man asked: "how about Dangote"?

An American, an English man, and a Nigerian were on a ship, Suddenly the Devil appeared and said, "Drop anything in the sea, if I find it I will eat u, If I can't, I will be ur slave!" The American dropped a pin, the Devil found it and ate him. The English man dropped a coin, the Devil found it and ate him too. The Nigerian opened a bottle of water, poured it in the sea and said: "Na today? find am make I see now.

A classic case of "NO WEAPON FASHIONED AGAINST ME SHALL PROSPER": A baby was born laughing really hard with its fist tightly closed, chuckling and dandling happily. Everyone in the room was perplexed, wondering what's up with the baby. One of the confused nurses unfolded its tiny fingers and found a birth control pill!!!

simplymee:

make people no go pick blackbelle'afterall its still BB

Indeed, it is a shower of blessing and it’s marvelous in my sight…the Lord will surprise some with wives, husbands, children, duplexes, blackberries, shoes, cars, umbrellas etc…just position yourself.

Praise the LORD!! The Lord just gave me a new wet Infinity FX45 Jeep!! I was just coming out of my house and I saw the flood bringing my blessing!

Okay

olawalebab:
It's the neck that control the head

Absolutely Right!

olawalebab:
So if the man is the HEAD of the family, women are the NECK

Whateva

Onyeasi:
Sister, you can equally join us. The registration is free. Just commit a crime, before you know it, you're in.

I reject it ooooooh. God forbidz

olawalebab:
truly, na women know the father of the child

U are right!

@ Onyeasi - why are u located in d prison? I can now understand why everyone around dey do d "kolo kolo thing"
Surry oooh

Onyeasi:
I can't stoping this laughing, please someone is helping me in this my mad. My neighbour thinking I'm mading. Pls helping me. I can't stoping this laughing, please someone is helping me in this my mad. My neighbour thinking I'm mading. Pls helping me.

Pls take it easy oooooooh. Dont go mad yet. I still love u

Its all good

Thanks

saintneo:
Chineke God! What will I not see being debated on Nairaland?

I tire ooooh

Yeah Dammizz - You got it right!

A Man had 4 children. Government made a public announcement to the citizens that, if u have five children you will get 20,000 per month as aid grant to support the family. The man asked his wife subtly by way of confession: "honey, I must admit, em, i have a child with my girl friend and i am going to bring him". She gazed at him in shock, he could not wait but dashed out to fetch the son. When he returned, he was amazed to see just two of his children remaining. he asked his wife: honey, where are the other two children? She replied, " you were not the only person that heard the announcement, their fathers have taken them.

Everybody to deir own opinion.

Some men actually tell deir wives to resign and become house mistress.
I hav a frend who always hav miscarriages cos of stress at work, her hubby told her to stop work and stay home.

R.I.P - Mr Tayo Aderinokun.
Why is Cancer so rampant nowadays sef?

May be u shud, kiss her gently and not biting her lips which give her pains.

@ Monopolist - Pls come and give me some of your wealth