₦airaland Forum

It doesn't matter, they can name him both. Growing up, one of the names would silence the other. Normally, both parents and even ground parents gives kids their preferred names, but with time one of the two or three would silence others.

To conclude, naming a child should never be an issue in any home!

It is on record that 90% of afonjas and hausas that lives in igbo land don't pay rent. That's the definition of sheltering other tribes

CoderX:
Whatever... Keep the insults coming and keep reflecting the bad nature and mannerless attitude of your people.

Only Igbos hate Yoruba, Hausa, Fulani, despite the fact that Yorubas have been sheltering your people in the South west without bias... Still you insult us on a daily basis.

If we're to go by the reckless statements your people make on a daily basis, you deserve the opposite of the love and patronage they show you people especially here in the south west. Tribalism is your biggest problem.

Davido Adeleke pampers Chioma, nobody called her an Igbo girl, despite the fact that she's from an average background and has an average look. But Peter Okoye married a beautiful and rich Lola, Igbo family matter started.

Tueh! Intolerance and tribalism tastes bitter!!!

Is your definition of accommodating same as trading on people's skull Stop being foolish madam!

Next time say your personal experience and not generalizing, where have you tried to settle down in the east and you were asked not to?

Growing up in Anambra state, most of the tailors in my side (ekwulobia area) are yorubas and they are patronized way more because we believed they do good job!

IamD18:
This maltreatment of underage maids is just common with Igbos.

It's just so typical of Igbos not to be accommodating. They don't care who you are, so long as you aren't their kids, it'll be tough for you. They don't accommodate.

Major reason why other tribes finds it difficult to settle in Igbo land.

Western culture values marriage, thats why they divorce when they're are tired of the union instead of cheating while in marriage.

What goes around comes around, always have that in mind while hitting people's wife!

Charleys:
I used to respect marriage till I left to the west side and saw what married women do there. No one respects marriage over here.

Right now I'm not scared of mounting any married woman again.
You need to help that man abroad. Ways might open for you if you do.

Ignorant comment!!

do you know how much it costs to travel abroad? Do you think those men went for vacation or they're trying to escape from this country and see if they could secure the future of their family?
I'm certain you've never crossed the boundaries of Nigeria, that's why you think life is that easy!

MrBrownJay1:
Who cares what people will say if he stayed?! He can take his family along OR find a job in Nigeria.... But leaving family behind while disappearing for YEARS is wrong, IMHO!

You're probably a kid that needs to grow up ( < 23 years, am sure).

You think its any mans intention to leave their wife and kids behind? 99.9% of men in this condition wouldn't hesitate to bring over their family if they have the opportunity.

Stop giving wrong advice to other people!!

MrBrownJay1:
That's because you failed to understand what I wrote... If wifey is already h0rny and willing to offer the toto, then we have to be honest about the situation, instead of pretending that she won't give up the toto to the 1st available Mandingo warrior.

If you believe that this is a bad advice, then so be it.



How can a man start a family then abandon the poor wife back home? I understand why many are losing their minds.

Wherever you go, never assume you're same with the locals. People loose their lives as a result of going to gatherings where they are seen as different. Same thing happened in Canada in 2019, a 19 year old boy got missing and was found dead, and he was last seen at the natives party.

If you're IT inclined, learn DevOps and DevOps tools. Git, Jenkins, Ansible and python scripting etc. You'd make alot of money in the US. For sure and quick cash, depending on the city you'd be living, learn barbing, photography and photo editing. My 1cent!

Adama and Adedio are not Igbo names, stop being foolish!

WILLuKPquiet:
You have just displayed gross stupidy by this comment. You must have a degree in foolishness. One person in the midst of eight or more people. Who contaminated who? Stupidity must be your surname.

From the write up, I don't think you like any of them except Duben. Don't be in a rush, wait until you find someone her heart fully accepts, to avoid regrets.

WomaninherPrime:
Good evening house. Kindly read patiently. I promise to be as honest as possible.

I'm a young woman in her mid-20s. I've been in three relationships so far... two were sexual, and one was purely celibate, though it didn't last beyond 6 months.

I recently got out of a 2-yr relationship with Dubem when we discovered our genotype isn't compatible. But the problem is that we're still doing a lot of back and forth. Dubem wants the relationship to continue because he's working on how we'd have our babies via IVF or chorionic villi testing to first determine the sex of the baby.

This has put me in a very confusing situation because I'm unable to move on while he's still holding on for us... and at the same time, I just keep thinking about how life would be a lot easier if I'd just marry a genotype compatible man and have children the regular way without the stress and huge financial cost of an IVF.

To fully move on from Dubem, I started seeing other people..

Nedu is a very great guy... has everything I want in a man, but he's having some financial challenges right now. He's cute, godly, very intelligent, good humour, communicates very well, respectful, sound family values, neat, and seems to me like someone who can take charge of his home. But his financial situation gives me cause for concern... he doesn't seem like he'd be comfortably ready to start a family in another 2/3 years. But that aside, his condition just dampens my enthusiasm to even visit him or start a committed relationship with him. No TV or fridge in his apartment. I feel embarrassed/sorry for him when he has to go watch TV at his friend's or neighbour's... Or I'm thinking of cooking stuff to take to him... but no fridge to store. Joykiller. Or the fact that he can't be a support system to me at the moment...

There's also Victor who comes off as a great guy but I've refused to pay him enough attention all these months because I'm still entangled with Dubem. Victor is doing quite well, and is passionate about his job, but he likes to talk about himself way too much, and seems a bit arrogant. The vibes I get off him is that he tries to be at his best behaviour when he's with me, just to impress, but maybe he's real. While I don't like like him at the moment, I feel if I gave him a chance, I'd see some other aspects of him that would make me love him.

There's Denver on the other hand. Denver is an absolute gentle man... and doing fairly well with his business. I almost said yes to him, but I felt it was coming from the place of pressure. He was putting me under a lot of pressure to say yes... he wants to get married in a minute, but I'm still not resolved on marrying him. Plus he's from a polygamous family, and his plan is for us to live in his disputed family house if/when we get married, and I feel that comes with a lot of drama. Also, he's a bit lackadaisical about his wellbeing. He doesn't seem very tidy. His car always has things strung about. I worry, too about his level of education. He has just a HND and is not in the corporate world whereas I have serious plans to get either a double masters plus lots of certifications or a Ph.D I fear there might be some sort of incompatibility years down the line. Other than these concerns, Denver is a great guy.

Then there's Bright... I've known Bright since I was in uni... he was planning a surprise engagement once, when we weren't even dating. He's the most inconsistent and confused man I've ever met. He's consistent for a aweek or two, then goes off-radar only to resurface again after a few months. But somehow he seems to believe I'm the one who's never agreed to take him seriously. But how do I take a man who's inconsistent seriously? Ideally, he shouldn't be on this list because I long cancelled him... but he called this morning and we had a very long conversation... which was short of him pleading that I calm down and take him seriously so we can move to the next level.

Now the reason I created this thread. I like having a linear focus when I'm in a relationship, but I'm unable to leave Dubem because all these other guys have one issue or the other. No, I'm not looking for a perfect guy. Dubem isn't perfect, but we've come a long way, and we love each other, and we've come to accept and understand each other as we are.
I've become impatient... I feel like I'm at the prime of my life as a woman, and I have other suitors to choose from but I'm holding on to a very precarious relationship. Dubem might as well just wake up one day and decide that our genotype incompatibility is a big deal and we should see other people... at that time, one year of my life would have gone by...these great guys would have probably moved on, too. A woman's hotcake period is fleeting. For my personal plans, I'd love to be married by next year.


Ohh. I mentioned the thing about my two sexual relationships because I made a hasty vow to God once that I wouldn't have sex with more than two men before getting married. I don't know ...God is a merciful God, yeah...But that vow still pops up in my mind now and again. So I can't go into any careless relationship, and now I can't choose.

I'm honestly confused �.

I was already thinking RACISM lol, thanks for the clarification

[quote author=Kenk21 post=92403104][/quote]

Your type will even go to Ghana if given the opportunity. Bad belle!

Gambo004:
Na by force to go abroad study?? That’s their business

You are right..

Life has no formula!! Some people make it with their certificates while some make it without. Don't let people deceive you into thinking that certificates doesn't matter, it really do matter.

As for me, be you a certificate holder or none certificate holder, pray for the right information! Right information drives people to success in every aspect of life.

Pray for the right information always, its key!�

Horlayhemy:
Well said.
But have you also seen those who see opportunity but couldn't seize it because there's no financial support. All in all, destiny is above all.

Sue that person that told you that story so he/she can complete it by force. If not, she have succeeded in disorganizing your life.

Pick her up with the police asap so she can tell the full story!!

Godlovesyou28:
I type this with so much pain and sense of loss. I found out about two years ago that my step mum is not my real mum (everyone keeps wondering why am just waking up to the obvious).

I grew up being hated by my mum's (now step mum) family, usually beaten, overworked and deprived; but I was told that I was being trained to be strong since I was the first daughter by my mum (now step mum). At age seven I cooked all the meals except my (dads soups) and did all the cleaning. By age ten I cook every single meal at home, wash all the cloths and Iron, clean the house and run all the errands while my siblings both older and younger play and watch TV. I always felt my mum (step mum) will love me just a little bit more if I worked harder; she always told me I was special (and different) and that she loves me so much but does not know how to show it. . It hurt me deeply then that I was different so much so that its expression translated to pain; but that's in my past now and I have no regrets.

Fast forward, am all grown up and fully independent, then a distant relative I helped told me two years ago that my mum is not my real mum with facts. For me it was a relief (I thought there was something wrong with me that made me unloveable and to be treated different and given less, but I know better now). I am more confident knowing she never loved me and that it was no fault of mine.

Now, I just can't move on knowing I have a mother and I want to meet her and ask her questions (why she would dump her child for another woman to raise? Why she never came back to take me? Etc). And also if we could catch-up and be friends maybe.

The problem is that no one wants to tell me anything since most of my family members fear my dad and keep referring me back to my dad; I visited my dad and begged him to tell me who she is (I cried so much that he had to beg me to stop), he asked me to go so he can discuss it with my mum (step mum) but now shouts me down each time I bring up the topic.

I want to find my real mother . l don't know why I can't sleep or think about anything else. I need closure. I have been advised to sue my dad and am considering it. Please help me, I can't bear knowing I have a mother out there and not know who she is. Please help!

It applies to any profession, not just in Nigeria but everywhere in the world. I know alot of engineers and computer scientists that graduated many years ago without job in Canada. So it's not a Nigerian thing!

Vianna:
In my opinion, I think it's no longer as lucrative as it used to be and it's a very sorry situation. A lot of lawyers roaming the streets, they are suffering. Some of the many problems are

1. Too many graduates, little job slots

2. Senior colleagues are not ready to give the younger ones a chance

Most lawyers are "charge and bail" . They roam the streets and advertise their services to potential clients and they don't even have a place to call office. Many of them loiter in court premises all day under the hot sun and await the arrival of the police, hoping that the police would bring some accused persons who do not have lawyers to defend them. The moment this happens, the lawyer would approach the accused (usually agberos, louts and unfortunate Nigerians who the police had decided to transfer his frustrations on. ) and offer his service either directly to the accused persons, or through his relatives or friends who followed him to court. After a certain meagre fee is paid. The lawyer will appear before the magistrate and orally apply for bail, which in most cases would be granted if the offence(s) is a bailable one.

Being a lawyer in today's Nigeria is overrated, studying in school for 5 years to become a lawyer is a waste of time. To me it's more meaningful if used as a part time job while you venture into business or entrepreneurship.

Male colleagues lol, be saving money for DNA test okay because e go happen. I guess you're trying to feel civilized and all, probably showing how you're more like Oyibo haha but e go shock you!

dodelight:
It's more of what works for you as a couple. My wife has male colleagues who are close friends with her and I don't feel threatened by them; she knows her limit. When our first child was delivered through CS, the first pap she would take was brought by my own close female friend (someone I intended to marry years back) who now happened to be a nurse in the ward, and she was there for my wife till discharge. When there was a problem at the early stage of the pregnancy, it was that same friend of mine that made sure my wife was attended to on time by calling the doctor at the emergency (UCH, Ibadan) and claiming my wife is her inlaw. I don't like to be caged, so I don't cage my wife. We know how far we can go, and we live our lives with God's grace.

Stop saying rubbish, is OBO the only son of a rich man in Nigeria? Didn't wizkid get support from banky? Or you think he has the best voice/sings better than everyone in Nigeria? Both of them got supported at the start of their career, so don't use "fathers money" as a yardstick

Hypnotise:
Wizkid has always been the better of both musicians. If you doubt that ask yourself, will OBO be where he is without his father's money and his squard writing songs for him?

Btw, OBO P.J chilling with his goons is on another level.

Worst thing, she'd be thinking you want to chop her but you don't have the balls to try it

How to cashout the money

Women rapes more than men by far, nice move...

Masturbating with porn causes all the symptoms statement by the op, especially when you do it a lot and for a long time. Type nofap on google to see personal experiences and how stopping porn with masturbation had helped. Also visit yourbrainonporn.com or .net(not sure) and educate yourself on the effects of masturbating with porn.

Stop making jokes with serious topics like this, its affecting alot of people out there, and they don't know what the problem is

Bluezy13:
1. Is false
2. Is false
3. Is non of my business.
4. Individualistic.
5. Is False
6. Superstitious.

Masturbating with porn causes all the symptoms statement by the op, especially when you do it a lot and for a long time. Type nofap on google to see personal experiences and how stopping porn with masturbation had helped. Also visit yourbrainonporn.com or .net(not sure) and educate yourself on the effects of masturbating with porn.

Stop making jokes with serious topics like this, its affecting alot of people out there, and they don't know what the problem is

TrollKiller:
masturbation is not your problem

you are your own problem.....

it is your type that will self-service 5 times a day and then drink a cup of garri without sugar or anything after your self servicing spree.

Bad belle!

Kris4luv:
Come to your country and school. it is not a crime

What would you say about a 70years old that lost their over 50 years companion? Would you also suggest they get married to another man bc they need a companion? Most times we don't always get what we want, life happens and we take things as we see them.

Kids and pets are not there to replace the absence of a man but its a way of stopping them busy and avoiding unnecessary thinking to some extent.

Sixfeetbelle:
Did you miss the part where I said they deal better with people their age group? This @ bold defeats the idea. Besides, in the same Igbo land, a widow of that age can remarry to keep. Usually pushed into effect by the in-laws. Ikuchi nwanyi, I believe.

Ikuchi nwanyi is for ladies there husband died so early and they have little kids. The relatives suggests she take one of the kingsmen so he can assist in bringing up the kids and also stay for the family( most important reason is for the man to continue impregnating her so as to produce more kids for the family). Ikuchi nwanyi sometimes are even forced on widows against their will. It doesn't work for ladies with adult children of over 30years, never!.

Any woman that has married for 30years and lost her husband doesn't need to mess around in the community. Its a family disgrace, period!

Sixfeetbelle:
Did you miss the part where I said they deal better with people their age group? This @ bold defeats the idea. Besides, in the same Igbo land, a widow of that age can remarry to keep. Usually pushed into effect by the in-laws. Ikuchi nwanyi, I believe.

Makes absolute no sense brother, bringing another man into a mother of 55years life will certainly end in family disgrace.

Every right thinking person knows and understands what you mean by companionship, everyone needs it but if certain situations happen, we take things as we see them.

No one is asking a widow not to make friends with ladies and men of their age group. They always meet at the church, market and as visitors. They have the right to do all those things for fun and their mental health. That is completely different from asking such a lady to remarry, it paints a very bad image of the family which is discouraged in Igbo land and various other tribes.

Any woman of that age must not be left all alone, get her a house warmer like a very young kid that she'd take care of so as not to be completely lonely, or even a pet.

Sixfeetbelle:
Can you stay by yourself for five years without having contact with another human being?

Do you think marriage for people in that age group is about sex? What they need is companionship, someone in their age group they can discuss Fela and Nigerias independence and biafran war and all that history with. Their children won't understand most of these things the way someone in their age group will. Using my mom as an example, she tells us stuff about her childhood but we relate to only half of it. However when she's with my dad or her sisters (who only visit at christmas) she can even forget we exist, just to tell you how connected they feel. My sisters and I used to joke that we can go missing when she's gisting with them and she won't notice, just to tell you how companionship goes a long way.

I'm certain once we leave that house for our individual homes; and peradventure my dad is gone, she'll feel lonely. It happens to everyone eventually. So stop thinking remarring is all about sex.

Who's going to marry a 55yrs old woman? A young boy or older men? So you guys are indirectly advising his mom to start dating/sleeping around at 55 with other womens husbands. Stop supporting evil!

Any woman at 55 with grown up kids that remarries is an ashawo from day 1.

phabulous88:
Oga there’s nothing bad in what your girlfriend suggested. At least it made your Mum smile.
I think she’s a good lady and understands that women need companionship, hence her suggestions.

Any responsible woman that had stayed in marriage for 30yrs does not remarry, they stay for their kids and be there prayer warrior and everything. Don't take all these advices here, they are not normal. What is a 55yrs old woman looking for again in another man?

Also consider traveling back to the US, its risky if you're an employee in the US, you might be lock out in Nigeria

iod69779:
I had planned to visit Nigeria and other countries from the US this summer on a short vacation, maybe for a few weeks or so, but the pandemic struck! Europe is out of the question for now, but somehow Nigeria is still on my mind. Just pondering. What do you guys think?

I can bet you're broke and under 22 probably at mom's house eating free food, an sure!!

pDudd:
You're a learner abeg. Go one side

You don't know who you settle for as a lady until you actually get settled. I know a lot of them strong and independent that are now so soft, dependent and willing to settle for any man at 32!
When you say entitled man, state your definition of one...

Dyt:
Never ever
I mean never settle for an entitled man

How old are you? And why do you think its by hustle? For sure we all have to hustle and do our part but no one is sure when the big mulla would come. Some make it at 50 while some at 25. Its Gods time.

We do what we can do and God does the rest. Don't let all these ladies make you believe its all about money, its not always about that.

pDudd:
I agree as a man. A man without money is a monkey.

Brothers, hustle o. No turn into monkey instead turn these women into monkey