₦airaland Forum

When owing people their salary for months becomes an acceptable thing then you know a country is in trouble

Nairaland is full of rubbish today.

I have never had sex before, i am single, my priority in a relationship is having a friend for life (having a friend in a girlfriend is not the same as being in the friendzone), i have dated a girl and not done so much as kissed her (by mutual agreement), and i am really not like other guys, though there is no point stating that given that it is patently obvious that all guys cannot be the same. To every human rule there are exceptions.

Anyway i know most of you will probably concur with this list and i have no problem with that. Those of us who reason differently are on another level intellectually and you just cannot understand. That is why those at the top will always be a minute, infinitesimally tiny fraction when compared to the population.

It shall be well with you.

fuke:
'Prof'
Let us close this.
For academic purpose,I have taken your challenge
and replaced lanuage with grammar.
Attached is what I got.
Again, it says the sentence is OK.
My intention was not to down-talk anbody.
Rather,I love to see Nairaland at the level of
forums like Warrior and Blackhat.
Young ones should come here and pick some
tricks in English rather than getting polluted.
I hope this settles it.
Best of luck

Here is a screenshot that shows you just how "great" the software you are depending upon is.

Is what i typed into it proper grammar? Yet it says there are no problems or errors with it.

Like i said, you think you are doing me but the joke is on you. Better forget about the young ones. You yourself need to de-pollute your grammar!

fuke:
'Prof'

You get plenty time o

I am sure you are not saying the software is wrong.

This software used all over the word says the sentence
is OK and you went bla bla again.

Me, I tire o. Go to Oxford and teach English.

lol...

Talk2Bella:
does age require the amount of times someone can get pregnant?

Are you speaking english?

Naijasinglegirl i have been observing for a while that you seem to be running out of funny stories to write on. Don't forget that it was your funny stories that made you popular not writing rubbish lists like this one.

Also, apart from the (not-so) humorous aspect of this, be careful not to contribute to harmful social behaviors. These days even pre-pubescent children are online and we all know they are very impressionable. What if such children see this your list and start bullying a child who drinks fanta or wears underpants?

Stay sensible please.

ANBAKO:
How does having CV debar one from being an entrepreneur? Even successful entrepreneurs have CV.

CV and proposals are 2 different things.

Good luck in your hustle!!!

that is his very obvious point.

What he is simply saying is that unemployed people should stop looking for jobs and instead focus on offering products based on their skills.

fuke:
Sorry, 'prof' I disagree.
Perfect sentence.
At least, so says Ginger, net no 2 grammar checker.
See attached

lol.

That is because the software cannot read your intended meaning and therefore cannot detect your first mistake, which is that you used "language" in place of grammar.

The real meaning of what you typed into the system there, is that a particular language (such as english or french or yoruba or igbo), is a terrible and horrible thing to start the week with. "Language" in this context is a perfectly discrete item and you can use "a" with it, since there are many individual languages.

Now, to further demonstrate the errors you are making, go ahead and enter the same sentence into the software but replace language with grammar.

Be kind enough to post the results here where your done.

fuke:
The first topic I read this week is this one about late salary
payment by the Federal government.

What a terrible and horrible language to start a week with.
From the topic right to the end, rubbish.

See the headers for example.
Re: Have Anybody Receive Salary Yet..federal Workers Only
It shoud be, Has anybody received salary yet?

Unless this person is a cleaner in an office, he or she does not deserve
any salary in any Federal set up.

And do not give me the crap that language does not matter.

There is a minimum standard and this guy doesnt seem to have it.

Again, was the moderator sleeping?

1. You mean grammar not language
2. Language as used in that context is a continuous noun and you cannot use "a" with it. ie, you should have said "What a terrible and horrible language grammar"

So you see, you are part of the problem.

Where are you going in life? Which one will take you there faster? In my opinion you should do what is best aligned with your vision for life.

thesicilian:
Research shows that people who are always happy to bash medical personnel, even without adequate information, are usually those who have tried unsuccessfully to become medical personnel in the past.

Forget. Since the days when Jesus was on earth, medical personnel have been frustrating peoples lives (see: the woman with the issue of blood).

Personally, i had a knee issue and visited at least 5 different doctors. The first one was a specialist and the most experienced; he did not even bother to examine the knee, he just reeled off some facts and told me i had a developmental problem that would heal by a certain age.

3 years after that age had passed, i was still experiencing trouble, in fact, it was worse. decided to see other doctors but each one would go through the routine of looking at my former x-rays, claiming they were too old, ordering me to take new ones and then declaring that they still couldn't find anything on the new one.

In fact, i remember a doctor who gave me loads of Piroxicam (NSAID), with only a vague warning, without telling what it was, and it's possible side effects.

i would only go to a doctor in the most serious of circumstances.

cruzita:
he sure needed a break after giving us an aluminium medal

if i remember correctly, you are also a footballer, albeit playing in obscurity. i just want to advise you one small advice this evening: hating on a big boy will never turn you into a big girl.

safarigirl:
you no get brothers or boyfriend? Where dem dey when Mikel dey collect the aluminium medal?

cheiiiii... see as you finish am

dadoctore:
z
Lol...when they will just speedily 'correct' ppl to gain likes or appear super-smart and eventually end up goofing

lol don't mind them o. Instead of one to just focus on responding to the topic, you'll be forming one-eyed king in the land of the blind

kenonze:
Stoned? = wrong grammar
Stoned= A state of mind which occurs after smoking enough marijuana to the point where the user stares blankly into whatever catches his/her attention.
E.g
"I was so stoned I didn't notice the movie was in French."

Hauled missile should be a better phrase.


N/B stoned is totally different from "stonning"... .. .. Which is a form of capital punishment by hauling stone at someone until person kick the bucket

Ma... its hurled not hauled.

some things are just not meant for public consumption...

like pregnant bellies

joseph1832:
I'm not a lawyer neither am I vast in knowledge of how our warped and segmented law works, but from what I read above, that means anybody who blaspheme and insult Islam or the Prophet Mohammed are also guilty. It means they've also committed a crime, which is intention of breaching public peace, cos we know how our Muslim brothers act when it has to do with their religion or their prophet.

If you ask me, I'll say Obasi Chinedu is allowing sentiment to cloud his reasoning. A man should be allowed to name his dog whatever name he choose. I see no reason why I should be angry or feel ridiculed if a man name his dog Joseph, rather I'll be flattered and complimented that the man chose to immortalise me by naming his dog after me, because whether he knows it or not, he inadvently just made me the guardian of his life.

It seems you refused to read the write up before commenting. Why are you people so stubborn?

how i wish there is some way i could just strangle this man

Olumaeme:
Why would I be rich and date broke, Hungry girl who will put all his family problems on me.

Babe, go work and make money, rich guys want rich women, poor guys go after poor women.

The only reason I will spend on a poor girl like you is just to flash you car, shine your Kongo and move on sharply then leave you crying, wailing and dejected.

All this ladies think they are wise, rich men chopping them till eternity....

Lazy women looking for already made men... Hahaha....

I have struggled tru life with my sweet tomato Jos girlfriend, for 10years, we started business together right from time, now wey I don blow, chewing gum girls are coming to chop... Hehehehehehe
When they see your little porsh and neatly arranged apartment, they go start dey cum.

The most expensive gift you can get is A suya date of 2k and 5Alive, which you will later pay and I shine your Congo for at least 10times before discharging you....

so the best you can do for your "sweet tomato jos" is to be shining congo up and down? and you think you are cool

Wingback:
He just turned 30 let him have fun. Do you know how strenuous it is an athlete. No drinking, No weed. Now he's catching fun.

And the [b]dumb girl can't do NOTHING because Usain is worth over 10 MILLION DOLLARS. Sit down if you wise girl...

[/b]

haba...dumb for getting cheated on... or for which other offence?

btw you mean this dude is only worth about 10 mil? so why hin go come dey misbehave anyhow on top ordinary 10 mil?

Meanwhile on a bench somewhere in London, when Mikel Obi learns that He is worth more than Usain Bolt...

Fabulocity:
Lol don't be such a dumbass. She simply wants a man who has seen it all because she believes he can be calm and loyal. But one who's still "innocent" will want to "explore" and play around.

I don't blame her though. Men are the same.

I would have thought you would have sat yourself down to think deeply and ponder upon the matter. Are all men really the same? Or women just comfort themselves and justify their poor choices with this line?

Edwardhead:
Nigerian Politicians think they are romantic by kissing their spouse in public, eyeyeye, nonsensical, imperious , persistent stupidity of show of shame

you sef try and make sense first.

mizzbouqui:
I can't date a broke dude
And I might if he is ambitious

Pls do me a favor and stop confusing yourself ma.

i just feel so frustrated sometimes. Really... i want to give up on some people.

The girl did not say he is small down there, she said "HE IS JUST LIKE ANY NORMAL GUY". to explain further, she was expecting that with his impressive physique and champion pedigree, he would have a similarly extraordinary penis, but his penis was ordinary.

989900:
Death would have been better for you guys.

#torturetinz

looks like the one in the middle may have been kneecapped

ephi123:
Of course, it takes someone like you who lacks common sense to say someone else you don't know is not smart enough.
By the way, I was not referring to the memes, I was referring to statements he's made to Western leaders in the past right to their face.

Kindly get off my mention until you come down from that high horse you are on.

i don't need to know you. I have seen enough from what you typed in this thread. And btw a smart person will be able to see that there was a question mark at the end of my sentence.

Guyman02:
Nigerians are not 'DULL' you are the dull person here who cant understand a joke. Everyone here except you knows that most of the funny quotes attributed to him are not true but we just enjoy it.
Your problem pass Mugabe.

Guy go and sit down somewhere! It is very obvious that 80% of people do not understand the joke, including the mod that moved it to front page form foreign affairs section.

ephi123:
Mugabe has been known to make the most ridiculous statements in the past, so why not?

You are not smart enough to know that Robert Mugabe never said most of those so called funny things that are attributed to him?

sCun:
Too much lies against Mugabe and people will believe this nonsense.why are Nigerians so dull?

These are same ones who would very quickly insult political office holders. Yet they cannot quickly reason that this is a joke. And the mod that moved it to front page from the foreign affairs section(when it should be in jokes), with only some unheard-of blog as reference... I am really sad for you.

y0rmee:
I've taken time to go through that news story. From my observation, i doubt if 'SSCE' or any other related issue would affect you during service/mobilization. The utmost is that you are recognized by JAMB, which handles all admission-related issues. I schooled in the North (where you of course know has lots of students with 'incomplete results'), and i've never seen any of such being affected by this.

Be at peace, bro! NYSC can do u nofin!

Ait, thanks!!

Hello everyone.

y0rmee i need your help. I previously asked about this issue and i got reassuring answers then. however, this morning i stumbled across this story where a Nigerian foreign trained graduate was initially barred from serving in the NYSC.

http://www.thetrentonline.com/ultra-vires-court-voids-nysc-powers-to-refuse-graduates-participation-over-ssce-result/

he eventually won the case after going to court but this leaves me wondering if this issue is truly resolved or someone like me is going to have to fight another battle to scale through?

Can you shed any light bro?

Who do i blame for this? Not Lord Lugard, who was acting in the best interests of his country but one person: Immanuel Ifeajuna.

Had it been that Ifeajuna properly executed his part of the January 1977 coup without showing blatant ethnic bias, Nigeria would have split up peacefully, decades ago, and sane forward thinking individuals would not have to suffer such a menace.

Northerners need to be quarantined for real and mandated to obtain visas in order to mingle with the rest of Nigeria.