₦airaland Forum

I'll beat her mercilessly & divorce her...

yhusiee:
I need ur advice ppl. I'm goin tru a vry rough financial crisis ryt now as a result of a project I vowed I must complete. D truth is, my parents dnt knw abt ds project, I'm scared of lettin dem knw, esp my Dad. He'll nt encourage me @ all. He will always say I shld face my studies cuz dtz my only biz in lyf ryt nw. He luvs controllin my lyf wtout listenin 2 my reasons. We dnt really communic8 bcs I grew up in fear of him. My problem wv him ryt nw is abt my lil sis. Shez d last child n a teenager. She gvs srs teenage wahala, esp 2 my mum. Usually, wn drz an ish lk ds, I'll ask my parents 2 send her 2 my hostel so she'll stay wt me durin d hols 2 avoid all dz juvenile wahala, bt ds tym, bcs of my project, I refuse 2 let her come. She'll b a liability 2 me n dtz wt I'm tryin 2 avoid bu my Dad dznt understand. He hung up d fone on me, I dnt knw wt 2 do.

Your abbreviation made your post incoherent. Be dat as it may, why did u vow to complete? & hope d project is worthwhile? Because things done covertly don't usually end well.

I will advise u to 既是不是啊呀我不是不是否定量体裁衣服, and 我在于是不是不仅代表现出现代化妆品牌价值.

I used chinese because of your moniker, hope u understand it.

Briee:
Can you imagine the guy telling her she's the cause of his downfall. some men blames their wives for no reason . Op stay away from this couples , you know too much about them and you are supporting the guy in your write up.

Why are u supporting d woman?

The op is not supporting d man, he's saying d truth. Leaving her home frequently on account of frivolous disagreement bespeaks she is seeing someone else.

为什么样东西瓜葛

把人民众矢之的基础上来不及其。

ColinAdua:
Don't bother about me. I thrive on loneliness. I create it. I longer for it. Am more productive alone.

Just like now am alone. I just isolated everyone and went in and locked the door, to plan my business and work online.

FYI am an introvert. I have a very big phobia for crowd.

I'm glad u're firm with dis decision. Don't allow anyone to sway or cajole u into believing dat marriage is good. U know dis kind of decision often comes with a lot of pressure & baseless criticism.

It's better to live a lonely life with peace of mind, dan to live a life full of activities likely to be nagging, cheating, insults, emotional blackmail, tussle for headship... & without peace of mind.

Christ lead a single life, & as christians, it's expected of us to emulate christ.

multicast:
i appreciate your comments Klark, but i wount sound defensive but to pick whats right from ur comment, i believe i was being too much in love with her which is what i know as the right thing to do. why marry her if i cant love her fully, its different from that she has anger issues.....thanks again brother

Haven't u heard of d saying "too much of everything is bad", what makes u think love is an exception?

I'm telling u dis because i have been there before. Loving a woman shouldn't be too much, it should be moderate, u love & care for her too much, which is very bad. Women are wired like children, when u pamper dem, u spoil dem.

Let me ask u this question, & pls be honest; does she get sullen whenever she doesn't have her way?

multicast:
I am a fervent reader on Nairaland and i dont miss this forum in 1 day, i have seen people share their concerns here and a lot of people have contributed through their comments, though some are hillarious while others are on point. i will appreciate matured responses.

I did not marry a stranger to start with and its why i am very pained cuz i come here on nairaland and see how people get frustrated about their marriage based on cogent reasons but mine is different.

first of all, I got married in february and am already very tired of my wife, not because she isnt very sexy or good in bed as other may experienced but because my wife starts arguments from little things as little as why did u miss my call, even if its a BBM call thats dependent of network, after hours of begging i have to end up with uncountable "am sorry".

secondly, my wife find it very easy to engage in malice for days without bothering to reconcile, and i have to talk to her over again and make her see reason why such act is not good in marriage, for which she will later apologize and the next day or same day she is back again in another episode.

thirdly, every man love to be respected, when my wife starts her drama about missed call or other flimsy excuses, she starts talking to me like am her junior brother, calling me names and after noticing how mad i am with her, she will apologize but always repeat such act.

i feel the amount of love and attention she gets from me is too much and i am beginning to think i should make her understand what it feels like to have a frustrated marriage. though am yet to do that.

i honestly am not perfect but i have never used any harsh word while addressing her even when she is obviously wrong, i dont do so because i know the feeling when she use them for me. i wish i could anyway.

i grew up in a place where women are highly regarded and well treated and maybe its affecting me because i also help her do chores and i dont push all the house work to her as most men do.

i noticed i am always very unhappy and depressed the moment she comes up with this episodes and it may be because i love her so much and this is beginning to affect how i study and i might be forced to push her away first by not giving her attention as i used to.

My fellow Nairalanders, i respect ur opinion, hillarious ones and reasonable ones, marriage is not a bed of roses, i love my wife and i am not cheating on her, i am 100% married to her alone but her attitude is frustrating and i might have to leave her in the end. i hope i get lucky and this make FP so i can learn from experienced members before i take a decision, as we speak she has began the malice episode with me and if i dont apologize to her in 3 days, she is ready to go that far too.

"i grew up in a place where women are highly regarded and well treated and maybe its affecting me because i also help her do chores and i dont push all the house work to her as most men do". This is d cause of ur problem, I'm sure she makes d decision as well.

Ur love for her is too much & she is taking advantage of it. Reducing ur love for her is d first step, when u cosset a woman, u only end up spoiling her.

Is she ur first love? if no, am afraid u're a weak man, because from what I can deduce from ur post, u're obviously not incharge.

ColinAdua:
Am not shying away from marriage. Its just not necessary, these days my brother.

I keep wondering why do guys waste so much money to give up this wonderful freedom that am seriously enjoying.

Moreover, my parents made their choice according what makes them happy. Now its my turn to make choice according to what makes me happy and I choose singleness for life.


I have already told them. It was hard initially for them especially my father but we they that am serious they had no choice than to accept it.

I pity them sometimes, but its my life. I don't want to sacrifice my happiness on the altar of societal conformity and parental gladness.

May God continue to bless u for this post.

U have said it all, u don't need to say more. Considerable number of women advocate & propagate d positive side of marriage, because it's an opportunity for dem to put their burden on someone's head. Marriage doesn't benefit a man in any way, but love & sex wouldn't allow many to see this, some may term ur perception abt marriage as bitterness. But that is far from d truth, 99.9% of married couples suffer silently within.

A woman will offer u nothing but a life of misery, a life bereft of women is d most peaceful, just like a life with christ. Solomon married 300 wives, what did he get in return, nothing.

With d recent tide of cheating, unhappiness,pains,disrespect,slavery,distrust... in marriages, I will advise anyone dat can hold himself, to forget abt marriage.


Marriage is good, but singleness is better.

CR9R:
Hello NL, I seriously need your help. I'll try to make it short and precise. I was dating a lady and along the line she got pregnant for me. I was forced to marry her for this reason, but the thing is I knew she was cheating on me even when we were dating. But I am responsible for the baby. The only problem I have with her is that she is a flirt, this happened a lot of times before she got pregnant.
However, I decided to marry her based on my relationship with her family, hoping she would change. Two years after marriage, she still flirts but I have never caught her red handed. As God will have it I saw a chat with one of her boyfriend, where she promised the guy a good nice time next time she visit. I was mad, since I was close to her family, I reported their daughter to them. And I also told my mum. I have been avoiding home since this happened but she has been calling and texting me that it was the devil.
She said her pastor said it was a spiritual attack (spirit husband) that is making her cheat. But she said she has been delivered.
Now I'm confused. Could this be true? Or she is just a flirt that would never change. As I speak I don't have feelings for her again. I have never trusted her anyway but we only married because she got pregnant for me.
Please help, my future, my child's future is at stake on the decision I make.

It's a sin to forgive a cheating wife. Let her go, she won't change.

Never forgive her, no matter what u feel for her... Only weak men forgive & accept a cheat as a wife, real men don't. It's a sin..

As regards ur child, dere will always be a way to care 4 him.

adamilen:
Hi Nairalanders,

I am a 26 year old lady and will be getting married in June. Unfortunately for me I found about two months ago that my dad is cheating on my mum. I didn't say anything cuz I do not want my family to break up. Before it was one lady but now I have found out that they are two. It seems like as the days go deeper he gets more and more into it.

Yesterday he told me to put a password for him on his phone. I tried avoiding doing it but he was persistent and at the end I ended up putting it for him but my conscience has really started disturbing me. I dont know if I should tell her because I don't want my family to break up and at the same time I don't want to see my mother hurt. She loves and adores him, although everyone has his/her shortcomings.

He is a well respected man and my fiancee respects him more than anything. I feel like I am suffocating.

Please what should I do? I really need good advice

Thanks

From what I can deduce from ur post, ur old boy seem like a nice man, he has played his part by taking good care of u guys. Why do u want to deny him dis happiness?

Allow old boy to flex nau, he will retire sooner dan u expect. But if at all u want to do anything, ensure u don't tell mumsy, u can approach dad courteously. He will change, I believe everybody is happy, so don't mar d peace & love in ur family with this kind of distressing info. Allow d peace to continue.

If it were to be a case of ur mum cheating on dad, it would have been a different issue, since it's dad, just chill.

Condoning a cheating husband is far better dan a broken home. Considerable number of men cheat & live happily with their family.

Hapi easter..

clovislouis:
Woke up today wondering abt my single status. when I was younger my grand dad always tell me to avoid having any relationship until 30. Pls the question is, adhering to my grand dad advice right or should I go ahead and start dating?

lol..

They should all return back to where they came from, & those of them who misused & stole our money should be penalised.

Women be too many for jonathan administration sef.. I no understand dat man o.

ademega:
There is this family in my street , for every argument in the the house the wife will scream to the extent of calling the attention of neighbors to their house . funny enough the husband is so quite that he would just be looking . in fact , sometimes you see the man with different kind of injuries on his body as a result of probably teeth bite and beating. just last week we learnt that the wife went to meet the man in the town to embarrass him while he was in the mist of his friends .
I was just wondering ,what will be the end of this kind of family . is it possible they survival it ?
I learnt the woman is always challenging the husband of infidelity which the husband most times deny and even go to the extent of using his life to curse .
Can anyone just predict what may actually happen if this kind of situation should continue .
If you were the man what will be the solution you will proffer?

This is what happens to a man when he's weak.

When a man constantly tolerates reprehensible behaviour from a woman, this kind of situation is inevitable.

keleto:
A sweet easter for a nairalander and wife,after Sunday service.

d hubby be like who dey vex..

Your post is quite confusing.
U want to ask her out, at d same time u don't want to ask her out, I don't get it.

how old are u?
am afraid u're emotionally immature..

kodlins:
But men can cheat abi??

In a realistic sense, when a man cheat, it's pardonable, but unpalatable, should incase d untoward happens, d man can take d lady in as his wife, but dis doesn't apply to women.

The society restrain a woman from getting married to two men at d same time & permits a man to marry as many wives as he can. Women are d direct channel for procreation, so there is a contingency of a woman cheating on her husband to be carrying another man's child.

Raising another man's child unknowingly is one of d worst thing dat can happen to a man when he eventually finds out.

It's indefensible when a woman cheat on her man.

sukkot:
thanks for the response. let me ask you just one more question. was this a heavy bag or was it her personal makeup bag ?

That's the point, it's her personal make up bag, my male sensibilities wouldn't permit me to do it. if it were to be another thing, like a model, design proposal, I would have graciously oblige her request.

I guess she was beginning to perceive me as a rival, and was scared of my chances of taking over, because I was highly commended by her dad for a project I executed recently. She was supposed to handle the architectural drawings and specifications, but the layout wasn't working and the project was transferred to my desk.

You know women, her dad compelled her to study architecture, so she could take over from him. she is the lazy type and wouldn't have willingly go for architecture.

Guess she did it deliberately to get me out of her way. But she didn't know I wouldn't have accepted to be the manager, because it's her dad firm.

Just wanted to build my clientele.

It's all good though, thanks man for your concern.

sukkot:
how old are you and how old is she ?

Am 28, she will be 30 sept this yr, because she celebrated her 29th birthday sept last year.

Venom104:
sorry o.. seems theres an opening at that firm.. kindly help a brother with the details.. updating CV * willing and can carry bag*

lol... U're quite funny.

Are u an architect?

d man made d right decision, cheating shouldn't be Condoned by any sane man.

Personally, forgiveness is a sin, when it comes to cheating...

It depends on how much dat is involve. If d money is not dat much, don't tell her, do what u want to do, u're man, don't act like a baby seeking permission from his mum.

saintneo:
@klark3, I believe the above quoted responses are from sane human beings like you. Nigerians have gone to the gutters to be slaves just to have their daily bread, but God is your strength. Just ensure you be more diplomatic and trust in God for your future.

Thanks man.

I was employed as an architect in a medium size architectural firm, my boss happens to be a lady.

I hitched a ride in her car after a meeting with a client on site, It's was even my first time of hitching a ride in her car, as I have always eschewed it, on getting to the office she asked me to carry her hand bag along, but I turned deaf ear to her request and swiftly went straight to the office, but she came to my office and gave me a sullen glare.

I thought the malice won't last long, but unfortunately for me, she fired me this morning for a no cogent reason.

I'm downcast and bewildered, she's just privilege to be the manager because it's her dad firm, she's my contemporary, and I was on the verge of supervising a gigantic project.

Was I wrong?

mirrorboy:
Madam, I'm from Ekiti and also a member of APC but let us be realistic here....the military was used to scare those that planned to make troubles. I voted Fayemi but Ekiti people love Fayose more.

He gave our dear Fayemi 16 - 0 and last weekend again, it was again 16 - 0 (No military was involved this time ooo).

Fayose already built that love in Ekiti but I must confess that he's failing he's people now. BUT he was not rigged in....

God bless u.

U're indeed from that state, ekiti people loved fayose because they saw him as someone they could access, a grass root developer, unlike fayemi, who was perceived as a proud leader.

aanumama:
Why did people keep comparing sleep with death??
Fayose was rigged in,
GMB won!
Ko jo ra won now!

Stop making baseless & invalid comment, fayose won in ekiti state on account of fayemi poor performance.

Preceding d elections, even old women lamented d distressing administration of fayemi, they vowed to depose fayemi by voting in favour of fayose. d elections in dat state was free & fair, stop propagating what u can't validate.

U're a man, stop acting girlie, try to be more assertive & decisive.

mirexxx:
wow!

your friends who d'heck are your friends??

someone old enough to settle down is thinking twice about what his semi- illiterate friends say?? are they married?

she should be serving by now if you had enrolled her in the university!



if u love her marry her!
who education don help?

you can employ a teacher for her and even teach her stuffs yourself!

not necessarily chemistry or literature
just the important thing one needs to learn in this 21st century!

Who education don help? Hmm!

FrancisTony:
Seriously, do you think everybody is a Christian

What's the difference between you, ISIS, Alqeada and Bokoharam?

I'm referring to all feminists who still believe in christ, what business do I have with non christians.

Animals like goat, lions etc, acknowledge d fact dat male & female are two different gender with distinct characteristics & sensibilities. feminism is nothing but a fight against nature, this makes it a blind alley.

d difference btw me & terrorists/feminists; Terrorists/feminists fight for no good cause, their actions are unjustifiable, but there is always a cogent rationale for my actions & inaction. Hope d difference is clear now..

Falling in love is d worst thing dat can happen to any man. Love is a woman thing, it's for d weak.

But since falling in love isn't by choice, real men may fall in love, but break out quickly. Only weak men remain in dat emotional torture called love..


So, real men don't love, they only like...

What a shame!!!
Weak men every where...

Op u're nothing but a weak man, for ur wife to have summoned courage to even insult ur mum, talk more of hit, bespeaks she's d man of d house. Would she do it her mum? For ur wife to suspect ur mum & ur family of witchcraft is an affront on u & ur family..

FYI, ur mum is not angry with ur wife, she angry with u for not taking any prominent action to redress her reprehensible attitude, by @least sending her packing for a minimum period of one month, thereafter u'll take her to ur mum, for apology... What a shame!!! I believe ur sister wouldn't treat it with levity if her husband should hit ur mum, let alone u, a man! U're indeed a disgrace to men.

Rubbish!!!

K9blunt:
true women should be treated fairly as well as men, but there should be a balance , men are physically stronger than women, women are psychologically stronger(or rather emotionally stable) they just need to complement each other and should be respected that way. I still prefer my man opening doors for me and pulling chairs for me to sit and taking responsibilities in one way or the other, and I prefer the cooking and being submissive(to a point o) shikena.

What do u mean by women are emotionally stable?

Is there anything stable about women? Women are known for their volatile perception about life.

If I have my way, i will destroy all feminists, they are ideologies contradicts God's command.


Rubbish!!!