₦airaland Forum

osazsky:
➜So all the 4 men na wife beater which is not possible...she should work on herself..even if the 4 men na wife beater it can not be consecutively

The same way a man can walk out of a marriage if he feels unfulfilled/disrespected/unhappy is the same way a woman can and should too. It does not need to only happen when physical violence is involved.

SixSeven:
➜Women hate being pregnant but keep asking for it. Why? That's nature's beauty. If you like, post 1 million horrible images of women before, during and after pregnancy, women will still get pregnant.
➜ Two things can be right at the same time, they can hate pregnancy and they can love the results. I am writing most normal women here, there are some women that are off the charts but even the ones I know that are in bad situations, they still see their children as a silver lining. Even in war, women will still get pregnant.
➜ To the men out there, maybe some of them don't know, a woman literally goes through the valley of death to bring a new life to earth. Honor that woman if she bring pikin for you. Forget her bad habit, handle those kain Jezebel with long fork but if na correct woman, treat her like a queen. God is wonderful ❤️

1. Wrong! Women do not hate being pregnant. Instead, some women do not mind and do well with pregnancy, some do not want it at all, but find themselves being cajoled into it either by society or their partners, some others do not care for it altogether— they do not mind other women getting pregnant though—, while others consider that they can always decide on it much later in life. Women are not a monolith — have never been and never will be.

2. Wrong! Normal is subjective and relative even where women are concerned.

3. Yeah, pregnancy is a potential death sentence for many women, even to this day.

SixSeven:
➜Kobo, save all those advice for youngsters here. I don pass that stage of life.
➜ For your number 3, what is your age range? Have you ever birthed a child?

The same advice applies no matter what age group you find yourself in. You do yourself a disservice when you chase after those people who don't want or regard you. Make friends or date those who do.

2. It does not matter since the reality is that the world we all live in does not cater to any delusion that you would rather hold to there.

SixSeven:
➜How old is she again The irony of life is that women mature faster than men, that's why they look down at you when you are 16-28.
➜ Fortunately, the wise ones among them at this age know the best thing to do, the unwise keep building fantasies but reality sets in in their 40s when biology no be your mate again.
➜ The biological instinct will set in and they will swallow any fantasy they had and face reality. That's why you don't need to argue with them, allow them come to reality by themselves. Nobody leaves this world alive...

1. Wrong! The reason a particular set of women in your age group doesn't want to date you is that you are not what they want. They are not the problem. Rather, you are since you seem to be chasing after the particular women who don't want you. You should look for other women in that same age group who prefer men like you or don't mind you.

2. It seems you are late in gaining knowledge that was released this year. Men's biological clock starts ticking downwards and in a bad way from about age 30, while women.... women's clock continues running until the last egg that they were born from their mother's womb runs out. (The recent spate of women in their late 50s and even up to age 60 having babies is a result of some having egg stores that remain intact that long in some cases.) Menopause can happen as late as the 50s and right about 60 for some women.

3. There is no such thing as a biological instinct as far as women and reproduction are concerned. That whole spiel was a made-up lie. That's why more and more women are simply choosing not to have kids at all.

manuelkel:
➜Lol, you're right. The irony there is that she didn't even leave with any of her kids, not even one?
➜ Does it show good motherhood? To be honest, I've seen people raised under such circumstances and it never goes well.
➜ I feel for the kids.

She was abused in her marriage, meaning he probably financially abused her as well; she likely had nothing but a bus ticket(assuming at least that much) with her when she left. Why would she take her kids, knowing she could not fend for or care for them in her current situation?

2. That word Motherhood actually means nothing in the real sense since there are plenty of women out there who don't want kids but were coerced into having them by the men in their lives. I am not saying that is in fact the case with this woman, but I am letting you know that not all women can nurture or raise culture as you may have been previously led to believe. Don't expect a woman who never wanted kids to jump to take the kids she had with a man when she is trying to get away from him. She should not because she is not mentally equipped to handle kids by herself.

3. Indeed! Children are always the victims in all of these; that is why I would rather people stay away from having kids or even marrying if they are not mentally, emotionally, and socially intelligent enough to handle all that it entails to have and raise a whole human being.

manuelkel:
➜The ministry of human rights protects people's marriage, I've witnessed countless cases including my sis in such cases.....it is best that way but to run away from your kids for such reasons is cowardice.
➜I've also witnessed men reporting their wives to the ministry of human rights for being irresponsible. It goes vice versa.

I disagree! A marriage is meant to be between two people who mutually respect and care for each other. When you have two people who cannot stand each other in a marriage, what you have is not a marriage that should be protected, but two people who could potentially kill each other, whether children dey abi e no dey.

You can try forcing a person to change for only so long; eventually, that person will break loose and revert to their old self or do worse.

2. I have also seen cases of men eventually attempting to kill their wives after being forced by friends and family to change for the sake of children and marriage. I have read of countless cases of abusive or irresponsible men eventually abandoning their wives and children for other women after everyone thought all was finally well with them.

I don't recommend anything that would try to force two grown adults to remain in a marriage that has proven unhealthy/toxic/unfulfilling for either or both of them.

manuelkel:
➜My point goes for the both. No exceptions.

No one should force themselves to remain in an unsafe/unfulfilling environment for the sake of children. Those children would rather have their parents happy and apart than have them together and miserable.

Adebisi444:
she would stay even inside abuse and suffering because of that statement not to manifest again. The father don use style set her up and cage her.

You have a point! 🤔

I do hope she is not that easily manipulated after her many experiences.

manuelkel:
➜Oga, if your wife report you to the ministry of human rights with proofs you are a gunner ooo, I'm not talking about reaching out to human rights activists, I'm referring to reaching out to the ministry of human rights.
The man go fill undertaking form him sense go come back.
It happened to my own sis, hers was that her husband wasn't even physically aggressive on her but he failed to take his responsibilities while everyone knows he is capable of it.
No allow illiteracy scatter your children life ooo, if you have issues with your spouse and you have kids solve it as an educationist instead of running away leaving your kids behind as a woman. Tufiakwa!

But a man can abandon the same children with the woman without all this talk of educationists, abi?

onlyhope:
1. You and other feminists are not the one to judge this pastor because it was his personal story, and he actually stated and I quote: "claimed marriage to be a distraction, not from his own dreams and desires, but for his wife."
2. From the way you make your inferences on this platform and your ideologies, one should be bold to say it was the wife of the pastor who was not serious with her goals.
➜Why?
(i) She could have divorced him if it wasn't working for her (this is often your school of thought).
(ii) Must she study abroad? She can enroll for medicine in any university in Nigeria, even private university.
➜ 3. She had a dream of becoming a med, but she had to marry first. Why not use her means to become a med before marriage?
➜4. So, her dream was to go abroad before she becomes a med. There are no medical schools in Nigeria.

1. You don't get to decide for others what they can judge or not judge. That man's entire platform as a pastor sets him up to judge indiscriminately, everyone he picks on out there. What makes you think that others can't play the Uno reverse card and judge him on his own words, too?

2. She was not serious about her goals, even though the Pastor admitted to his followers that he was, in fact, the one who decided against her going to do her medical program as her husband. Are you certain you are OK?

3. She could still do all that if she had maybe realized at this point that she is actually married and allowing her worst enemy to sit as a "head" over her in the marriage, as you religious folks like to claim for yourselves.

4. Many people out there marry before achieving their dreams. Marriage in and of itself is never the problem. It is who you are married to, in this case, this use of marriage as a shackle —a literal weapon against the individual freedoms of their wives in marriage—that is typical of religious men, that is the major problem here. This exact same pattern is typical in Islam as well.

5. There is no template for dreams. As Dr Zeeta, a sociologist, on TikTok(link is found in the second comment) explained, if that same man had wanted to travel abroad to study, even after marriage, nothing would have stood in the way of him doing just that, not even his kids.

Adebisi444:
The statement is very bad. The husband might use it against the wife in the future.

When that happens, the woman will know to run for her life at that point—that is a blatant red flag.

Kalulu44:
➜I'm waiting for the day you'll not support women in any post related to this kind.
Always victimising women whether they're right or wrong

OP is the one wanting us to believe he is the victim here, not the woman. He literally took a woman to a place he could not afford or had issues with, and then came on here to pretend he is some victim, when he is just a scammer.

If your budget for dinner is Chipotle, then go to Chipotle to eat with your date. And if it is McDonald's, then go to McDonald's and tell your date that you don't have much to spend. Honesty is the best policy, even when dating or dining out.

When you deceive others into thinking you are bigger than your breeches, it is called manipulation, and you are a scammer, not a victim.

DyshApp:
➜In her words, she said:
“I’m ready to have a child outside marriage, this year I wanted to have a baby, something happened and I had to choose between that and the baby. At this point, I think if I get pregnant now, I’m just going to have my baby. I have worked so hard, and I think I can take care of myself and three kids. I’m a goal-oriented person that always sets things ahead for myself.”
Mercy revealed that she hopes to have three children, two girls and one boy and stated that even if she doesn’t get married, she will still have kids.
“For me, what people don’t know is all this stigma of having kids without a father is only applied to people who don’t have things going on well for them,” she added.
On her relationship life, Mercy explained that while marriage is an option, she hasn’t yet met the man she truly wants. She stated that if she wanted to marry tomorrow, she could, but she hasn’t met the right man yet

. Here's hoping you don't lose the pregnancy lottery, as some women out there did. If your looks are important to you, maybe pay a surrogate to birth your kids for you.

Chief2410:
lol,we are waking up men who are still sleeping. If we don't talk about these things,many many will still be Living in illusion.

Alright! Too many Nigerian men are obsessed with Nigerian women and that, in and of itself, has been a major problem. I look forward to see Nigerian men focusing more of their energy on developing and growing themselves and less on objectifying the women.

Chief2410:
you have said it all. Men should stop dating them. They are not worth it.

They aren't Worth it yet they are all you lot spend your days and nights busy discussing? 🥱🥱

iwaeda:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fk1L7lGmAKs
https://saharareporters.com/2025/11/24/we-will-kidnap-president-tinubu-days-ahead-terrorist-commander-brags-about-abductions

Less talking, more doing, abeg! 🥱🥱🥱

Primers:
✓ When I was single, I bought a piece of land and gave my mother, the documents to keep for me. I later built a house on that land. After I got married, I asked her to return the documents, but she told me the property now belongs to her simply because I am married. In other words, she said that everything I owned before marriage no longer belongs to me but to her. My siblings also support her decision.
The most senior member of our family has called them several times, instructing them to return my documents and property, but they have refused to listen. I am confused and don’t know what to do. How can I reclaim my property?

Your mother lied to you. I don't understand why you feel it is Ok for her and your siblings to manipulate you. 😂😂😂😂😂

Go ask your mother to explain to you the real reason why she thinks it's OK for her to try to scam you in such a way. 🥱🥱🥱

---

On another note, hope you got yourself a prenuptial agreement before the marriage to separate your property before marriage from your marital communal property with your husband. This is 2025, and everyone should already know that marrying someone means that you join up your finances and life together, exposing you to great potential loss if the marriage eventually goes under. And in Nigeria, the man gets access to the bulk of all the wealth and property associated with the marriage in the case of dissolution so you want to property what is yours no matter what.

Batman2412:
✓ A babe told me she will prefer a public place for a date instead of my house. I recommended a very big Catholic Church Cathedral. We met there, talked, got to know each other. When the date ended, she was like, "I thought we will be going to a posh restaurant when we meet in church." I told her the church is main venue and very safe. Well, she blocked me later

He chose a safe place to get to know you; she did good. 🤔

Habib101:
✓ But isn't the girl that made the several orders

I don't follow. 🤔

ABankole:
That’s too much responsibility

There are single mothyer out there working and caring for 5 or more kids. The man is able to carry his load without inconveniencing his mother and sister.

AKWATGOLD1:
Oga Kobojunkie, I hope you read the reason why her brother's wife left. She said her brother is a ABUSIVE HUSBAND.

What has that to do with anything? Even if the wife left simply because she no longer loved the man again, what should that change? ,🥱

cocolacec:
✓ it is high time women start dumping children for their fathers in case of a divorce.We need to eradicate the epidemic of single mothers and give a rise to singe fathers.Men have more resources to cater for children in Nigeria.

Ir meeds to be normalized in order to balance things out ans alsp give sisters and mothers out there the chance fof growth like the lady in the OP and hee mother are alsp getting. More men should learn to only have the number of children they can adequately care for should the wife is no longer in the picture. 🥱🥱

Chilipepper:
✓ I keep giving you away and they keep giving you back — Man recounts his dad’s hilarious remark at his sister’s wedding 😭

That father should be very grateful his daughter is better off than Osinachi who got no second chance. He should gladly take her back instead of having her end up six feet under.

ABankole:
That’s too much responsibility

Even if na only one baby, the man can and should raise them by himself. After all, we hear a lot that fathers raise better kids.

manuelkel:
✓ What happened to reporting to human rights??
Most times na illiteracy dey make some marriages cast. None of them fit reason as educationist.

Who report to human rights so that? The man obviously hated her presence in the home with him that is why she removed herself from the marriage The children are his after all so he too can and should raise them. 🥱🥱

AKWATGOLD1:
I will suggested that for sake of the blood, please give your brother the that will suite you to take the custody of his kids but not in his house because you know who those kids will be in future.

Nonsense! When e no be say her brother dey autistic, why would his life choices have to impact hers in any way or shape? Abegi! 🥱🥱

Gotocourt:
✓ Most women who fight for custody end up regretting. It works for weak Men, don't fight over kids, she will use it to pepper you if you're a emotional man.

Not only that. There is also the huge stigma out there against single/divorced mothers, that seem to exonerate the single fathers who make them so. 🥱🥱

alphaconde:
SO Amaka u brought my matter online. After all the money i gave u and mama.

And so? Go court! 🥱🥱🥱

Gotocourt:
Nothing can be done ma'am. That's the extra baggages that comes with some families 📌💯

Your brother's extra baggage don't need to be your extra baggage. They are family, yes, but not your extra baggage to carry for head. 🥱🥱

CJStarz:
Will all these still stop some men from cheating on their wives?

Why should it when men are polygamous and can cheat even with more than this though? What incentive does a woman caught up with such man have to not freely express her polyandrous side?

PolyGamous:
✓ I think I get what happened just now, if you had read the full the article, you would have seen that all that was included to what a marriage must be built on not just sex.

I have no reason to concern myself with the issue of sex in marriage because even those who aren't married also have sex. Hope you see how or why then sex should be a decent indicator of good relations in marriage.

dederocs:
Which quality, packaged ajepaki, slay mama wannabe is quality ?

You can always look around for a quality man to date, at least.