₦airaland Forum

EDGEof2MORO:
➜i am married to a lovely woman with 2 beautiful kids

Tell that wife of yours to come on Nairaland and tell us her side of this story. 🥱🥱🥱

amaridigital:
➜Abeg ke, you are begging who exactly? Some broke bloggers are busy creating content and there you falling for this crap. Why didn't you wonder how there's always someone right there recording all the contents? Someone proposed to a lady at the Airport who refused, there's camera there. An akpu seller found $5000 and returned it, there's camera there.

Why do you need me to repeat my advice to the woman?

Tolu2024:
➜Man Storms Ex-Girlfriend’s House With Friends To Reclaim Every Item He Bought
https://www.nairaland.com/8562851/man-storms-ex-girlfriends-house-friends
No matter how hard you tried the day you don’t give her , she will dump you the next dick. That why you don’t need waste your time if you are doing Legitimate work/business to date someone who is not doing anything only depends on you to take care of her .

If all the value you offer a woman in a relationship with you is the money you bring to her in the relationship, then be sure that she can and should rightly dump you when she no longer has a benefit to gain from being with you.

Even if, in your mind, you convince yourself that you are working hard enough, again, if your hard work DOES NOT translate to something of value to the woman, then yes, she has every reason to leave you.It is that simple!🥱🥱🥱

EDGEof2MORO:
and your chatgpt quote is quite embarrassing. It's giving beggars and less-privilege vibes

. If you hate women that much, you don't need to date or marry them, you know?

EDGEof2MORO:
➜Leave future relationship aunty, we dey talk of relationship wey just spoil now now. Una sef eh... u don dey already target the next man. No body stopped her from taking back her gifts in the relationship. If she like, make she go date ancient of days, na una sabi

. Under no circumstances is home invasion and theft excusable!

EDGEof2MORO:
➜The girl should take back the things she bought for him during the relationship. If you like quote chatgpt from morning till night.

I would instead advise her not to date kids anymore, and make certain that she knows to call the police next time she encounters such hooligans in the future.

Emeskhalifa:
➜How's that home invasion? Is the said ex around or not? Did anyone raise any sort of alarm?
➜ Wait if your brother simps for a girl and she eventually dumps him after all the simping if you won't be the first to advice him to go get everything he bought for her

1. A home invasion can happen whether a person is in the house or not. As long as a person does not first receive permission from the homeowner before entering, it is considered a home invasion and theft.

2. My brother is not cheap enough to think he would need to take back gifts he gave to a girl he was formerly in a relationship with. The law only allows taking back gifts if and only if the one who received the gift is willing to give it back. Otherwise, no!

Shawarmagirl:
➜Na your type dey rush come collect phone they buy for the girl simply because she no do friendship again. If she buy things herself and tell you she no do again, you have nothing to hold her for.

Wrong! If the gal had called the police and maybe even made a civil case of this, the man would have maybe only received about 50% of the "gifts" after all had been considered.

Emeskhalifa:
➜Did you read the post at all? Man was recovering what's rightfully his abi since when did recovery what's yours becm a crime in this country?

Home invasions are against the law even in Nigeria. Also, if the case had been taken to the courts, the man would have probably not been able to get all he took back.

PeaceRN:
➜I'm genuinely curious...individuals who had cases of unwanted pregnancies, what exactly happened?
Did the guy ejaculate in you? Or it was a failed withdrawal method? Or condom broke? Or you didn't take emergency contraceptives? Or you didn't track your cycle well?
➜This is not a sub, just genuinely curious. Because the rate at which I hear about unplanned pregnancies these days...

Why does it matter how it happened, though?

2. Does knowing the how change any of the facts of what is?

LiveWire85:
➜I will agree with you if your name appear for the receipt

Tresspassing/invasion of another person's home is illegal even in Nigeria. No man or woman, for whatever purpose he may have, has the right to invade another person's property for any reason. So, this isn't about whether you wish to agree with me or not.

Shawarmagirl:
➜Advice to ALL ladies. No matter how broke you are, never allow any man buy you a phone unless you are married or engage with him. Be managing your touch light, save and buy the phone yourself. Same goes with other items to save your dignity and pride.

Nonsense advice!

Saving what dignity and pride? Nonsense! 🥱🥱🥱🥱

Babaken:
➜what if the whole thing he came for is under the guy's name I mean on the recipes which the guy has the recipes with him?

As long as that thing, whatever it is, is on someone else's property, you need to follow due process in obtaining your property.

If you kicked a ball into your neighbor's property, you don't say that because the ball has your name on it, that means you can just waltz into your neighbor's compound to get it.

ThaThinka:
➜This your question ehn... 😂 It's a valid one that I have always wondered when women say things like "my money is my money, your money is our money" and some oversabi men will be like, "I don't need a woman's money. I can do it all alone." Kontinu
I'm not married, so I don't know what it's like for the married men. Na that your question just touch me.

First of all, most married men who are honest will tell you that most women bring their time, emotional, mental, and physical energy to the relationship that was previously not there in the lives of the men who marry them. This invisible labor that women do in relationships and marriages has been established to cost upwards of 10.8 trillion dollars each year, and we are talking here of unpaid labor.

The estimated annual value of the invisible labor (unpaid care and domestic work) that women contribute globally is at least $10.8 trillion. This work, which includes cooking, cleaning, and caring for family members, is not typically counted in official economic statistics like GDP.

If men were required to pay market value for much of that work women do in their lives to help build and maintain households while they are out pursuing their careers and dreams, the vast majority of men out there would never be able to afford it and never get a chance at marriage or even have kids.

translux:
Just yesterday, I gave my Wife N25k to cook soup for the weekend and guess what, when she came back from the market she said darling things were damm expensive in the market and I borrowed you N7k, imagine borrowed fme or the food both us us would eat o.

Isn't it your duty to pay for the food as well?

Grimmm:
➜Now you’ve left and you’re busy with work and family. You rarely have time. Who will take care of the ones who raised you? How are we planning for our loved ones even as we seek greener pastures abroad?
➜ Did you know that Elderly parents are at higher risk of falls and health issues without regular attention. If your parent needed daily help, would you hire a live-in caregiver or a home care company? Share your thoughts below please 👇”

Those who are elderly today were once young and likely had opportunity after opportunity to plan their retirement better — not make someone their retirement plan.

2. The elderly knew of these risks long before old age dawned on them.

badaru911:
.... ➜Well, don't send her packing because of what you saw on her phone.. There are many good ways to show your wife that you are angry with her.. You can stop eating her food and start buying your food outside and bringing it home to eat..
➜.. But have you talk to her co-worker, maybe telling her to call him and put the phone on speaker and telling her to introduce him to you, chat with him and introduce yourself to him in a friendly way... It's good for a husband to be jealous.. But don't be hasty in sending her out..

You want OP to give the woman further reason to justify her cheating mentally? 😂😂😂😂

2. You want OP to possibly dig his own grave, abi? Dem no dey Nigeria oo!

dierich:
➜I've been spying which I saw it that they've not even chatting though they don't usually see at work. The man is just doing part time which he comes 6 times a month.
4 days ago, my wife lock her fone, and said she doesn't want me to be spying that whenever I want to check her fone, I should tell her and she'll surely open it immediately for me.
So, yesterday, she's chatting on her fone and I playful collect her fone, check her WhatsApp and saw she message this Same man (Hello sir, good afternoon)I was so annoyed and my heart broken totally, after several warnings.
Now I want to send her packing just for her to learn that, if she turned out to be a single mother, she'll got tired of men after they must av play her and turn her to trash. I'm confused and now I've packed her bag, waiting for her to come from work and send her away tomorrow morning Or what advice can you give. What's your view
She isn't like this honestly. I've check her well for several years coz I'm a sensitive guy, until now that I saw some stupid act

. You want to teach your wife a lesson?

You say you relocated, and you had been snooping on her— abusive as sheet behavior, by the way— and now you know or believe from that that she is cheating on you. Well, since you already packed her bags, I hope you are also ready with the divorce papers and the request to have shared/joint custody of your son, since making her a "single mother" equally means you become a single father yourself.

Kalatium:
➜When women say “Getting a man is the easiest thing in the world,” they’re not entirely wrong but they’re not entirely right either. Sure, a woman can walk into any room, post a selfie online, or simply smile, and boom she has men in her DMs faster than you can say “Hey beautiful.” But here’s the kicker: There’s a world of difference between a man being sexually interested in you and a man being emotionally invested in you.
Any man can want your body. Only a few will want your soul, your peace, your partnership, and your future. Sexual attention is cheap, it’s everywhere. Commitment? That’s premium currency in today’s economy. Almost every women is fvckable but most are not likeable. The real question isn’t “Can you get a man?” It’s “Can you inspire a man to stay, respect you, and build with you?” And that’s where the game flips. Because looks might attract a man, but character, attitude, loyalty, and emotional maturity are what make him stay. In this generation of quick flings and disappearing acts, too many people confuse attention for affection, and lust for love. Getting men to chase you doesn’t make you powerful. Getting a good man to choose you consistently, now that’s power.
Think about it: Any woman can make a man desire her. But not every woman can make a man respect her. And fewer still can make him fully commit. Moral of the story: If all your “proof of desirability” is the number of men that want you, you’re playing checkers in a chess game. Because the real flex isn’t being wanted, it’s being valued and committed to.

This one has obviously had his head buried in the sand in the backyard somewhere.

I suggest you take some time to pull your head out of the sand and read the following article, written some weeks ago, about what more women now think of the things you posted. Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?🥱🥱🥱🥱

From my conversations, one thing is certain: the script is shifting. Being partnered doesn’t affirm your womanhood anymore; it is no longer considered an achievement, and, if anything, it’s become more of a flex to pronounce yourself single. As straight women, we’re confronting something that every other sexuality has had to contend with: a politicization of our identity. Heterosexuality has long been purposefully indefinable, so it is harder for those within it, and outside of it, to critique. However, as our traditional roles begin to crumble, maybe we’re being forced to reevaluate our blind allegiance to heterosexuality.

Obviously, there’s no shame in falling in love. But there’s also no shame in trying and failing to find it—or not trying at all. And as long as we’re openly rethinking and criticizing heteronormativity, “having a boyfriend” will remain a somewhat fragile, or even contentious, concept within public life. This is also happening alongside a wave of women reclaiming and romanticizing their single life. Where being single was once a cautionary tale (you’ll end up a “spinster” with loads of cats), it is now becoming a desirable and coveted status—another nail in the coffin of a centuries-old heterosexual fairytale that never really benefited women to begin with.

culledfrom the article Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?

Flex ko, flax ni! 😂😂😂

O

jmoore:
The male Corper proposed in public and the Lady rejected the proposal. He started weeping
https://www.facebook.com/reel/692652597227364/?app=fbl

Who posted the video online? Na that one matter pass. Na him friends abi wetin? Who?

lilsmart:
✓ So, my challenge to you is this
You have a decades-long history of rejecting tradition. That is your root. So what have you built from that root?
✓ What is the positive framework, the new "law" or "method" you are developing for the next generation? Simply rejecting the old is only half the battle. The innovation comes from using that critical stance to create the new, factual, wise foundation you speak of.
Don't just clear the land of rotten trees. Plant new ones. What seeds are you planting?

1. My life is what I have built. And all I need to. 🤔🤔

2. The world does not need a new framework. It simply need people to abandon the many lies and delusions they bury their heads in the sands with for the simple truth out there of which there aren't multiple copies of.

lilsmart:
➜You speak of "common sense" and "educated wisdom" as if they appeared from the sky, fully formed. You stand on this ground and call it your own, but you forget who tilled the soil.
➜ what is the foundation of this development if not the very history you seem to dismiss as "human wickedness"?
➜ The wisdom you seek to use was developed by other people. So what Wisdom have you developed for the coming generation that they can seek? Instead, you rather sit down and wait for other people to build the world for you, then you simply move in and call it "common sense"Your "common sense" is the harvested fruit from a tree you did not plant.
➜ note. every point of technological development was all from history. Newton's law, all the other laws that guide our very understanding of the universe, were written by old people who dared to observe, innovate, and build upon the questions of those who came before them. They tapped from their roots to deliver a new truth.

1. Forget those who tilled what soil? All of your traditions are built on delusions— entirely removed from facts and wisdom itself.... so, exactly what do you mean by tilling what soil?

2. Stop trying to derail things here... I made myself clear that what I stand against are your traditions, not history. (I literally talked earlier of having a history of my own of decades rejecting tradition.) Get it straight and stop rambling, please!

3. Newton's Law has nothing to do with your traditions/religions but with facts.

lilsmart:
➜Your statement "I don't follow or agree with any of Africa's many traditions" is a powerful one. It raises a fundamental question. can anyone truly be a person without a history? To completely sever oneself from one's cultural roots, however flawed some aspects may be, is to risk becoming adrift.
➜This reference to slavery is not a personal insult, but a historical metaphor for the ultimate consequence of a people being stripped of their identity, their traditions, and their right to self-determination.
➜When you say you don't agree with your tradition, what history, then, do you stand on?
➜ Who defines your values and your place in the world?

1. I have been doing just that for a couple of decades now, and I won't have it any other way.

2. Obviously, I made it clear that I don't buy into your historical metaphors, which seek to rewrite pure human wickedness as something that it ain't.

3. I stand on the side of common sense instead.

4. Common sense, aka educated wisdom set on a foundation of facts and not lies/propaganda!

lilsmart:
This is a simple rule of responsibility. If a father buys his children a phone and the child misuses it, the father has the right to take it back. He (boyfriend) is now in that role for you. He have taken on the responsibility of providing for you, and with that comes the authority to set boundaries. If you disrespect that responsibility, you can expect the same consequence I will take back what I have given.
In all African traditions,a father is responsible for his daughter until she marries, at which point he receives the bride price from her husband. My question is, if a different man a boyfriend steps in and becomes financially responsible for the woman, does he then earn the right to receive her bride price instead of her father? Has the father essentially forfeited that right by allowing another man to take on his traditional role?

I can't make heads of tails of this submission of yours since I don't follow or agree with any of Africa's many traditions, especially where they regard women.

Afriifa:
➜I don't want to insult you but ya making it so hard. Relationship is a contract. The fact that if you gift a girl something you can't get it back after break up does not make the one that do it a bad person. Everybody has their ways. I personally, don't have problem with a guy wanting to retrieve things he got for a girl during their relationship if things goes south. She should also go and get her things back.
➜ So you mean if your sister got a guy a TV during their courtship and things goes south, if you believe there is nothing that same guy gifted your sister to equal the worth of that TV gift, you will not talk your girl or go there yourself to retrieve the TV? you want his new woman to come and enjoy the TV?

Go back and re-read the comment you pretend you responded to. I didn't say you should not try to get your things back if that is what you want; however, you have no right to show up at a person's house uninvited to take it yourself. Yes, everyone has their ways, but there is only one proper way to do anything, and that is going the way that one is legally allowed to do so.

If that man had tried that nonsense here, and gal maybe shot at them to keep them from invading her space and stealing her property at that, the law would probably have been on her side.

2. If my sister had been dumb enough to do so, I would recommend that she go through legal means to get her TV back if possible. I would never advise her to invade anyone's home.

Tolu2024:
➜You Just typing with emotion while I am typing with life experience nothing personal just fact . I am married and I married one of the best who don’t depend on me to give her money to make her hair like when I don’t give her, she can’t make her hair unless she sex around or another boy gives her .
➜ My point is sample don’t compete with girls who only date yahoo boys , they are girls who only date them while they are girls who don’t date yahoo boys .
➜ I once met a girl in owerri our first date she offer to pay for it and she told me she can’t date yahoo boys, they are not that rich but they were okay she’s in USA now doing well for herself.

1. That statement in bold there says so much about your marriage that you don't even realize.

2. Your point is moot since there are only a handful of girls dating Yahoo boys out there; the vast majority don't even have access to or have desire for Yahoo boys.

Women are not a monolith; they have never been throughout all of history. They each have standards and boundaries that are meant to be respected, not trampled on or used to demean them. The fact that you don't feel this right should be respected, tells me a lot about the woman you are supposedly in a marriage with.

3. Storyland! Again, anyone who does not respect women's individual right to have standards of their own and boundaries as well, not only has no respect for women, but also screams abusive as sheet.

Ask your wife to come on Nairaland to tell us her side of the story so we can verify something.

emmyN:
➜First, there is nothing like "Nigerian tradition". Nigeria is a conglomerate of very dissimilar people with different beliefs and traditions.
➜ Saying he was struggling to accept a non-existent "Nigerian tradition" was you projecting your personal philosophies, howbeit unsolicited, on him when he's only asked about how finance is managed in homes. It would do more good if you stayed within the context of the OP rather than being a preacher!

1. Wrong! Nigeria has in place codes which provide a place of honor for the many customary traditions of the peoples of Nigeria, particularly the major 3. Only those who intend to or have their marriages registered in the Nigerian courts can claim tradition does not apply in their case, and OP's question seems not directed at those particular individuals.

2. See above!

emmyN:
➜The one who denies the other sex is equally as despicable, that's the point. The first point I was making is this - marriage is a social contract and with it comes responsibilities and privileges.
➜ The moment one person unilaterally withdraws from fulfilling any of their obligations, they make void the contract. That itself is cheating. It's on the same foundation extra-marital affair is referred to as cheating too.
➜ When one spouse has extra-marital sex, they break the terms of exclusivity laid out in their marriage contract. That's why it is cheating. So it's not cheating because genital fluid was exchanged with a non-partner, but because the terms of the contract was broken.

1. Again, wrong! A man or woman is allowed to change his mind in a marriage to protect himself/herself or his autonomy above all else. That is not despicable but a right that is protected by the Law — United Nations Universal Human Rights of every human being. 🥱🥱🥱

2. Wrong! Sex is not an obligation in marriage. There is no universal marriage contract template out there that stipulates that sex is an obligation in marriage; individuals in marriage retain their right to bodily autonomy, even in marriage— United Nations Universal Human Rights of every human being. Therefore, if you want sex to be a type of "obligation" in your marriage, you would need to discuss this with your partner, while respecting their right to autonomy. 🥱🥱🥱

Divorce is there as a provision for all married individuals who find their way out of marriages where they feel their needs are not being catered to. It has always been available to all married individuals from the beginning of time, and it is to help those who consider themselves victims — for example, when they feel denied sex by their partner — to seek an out of the union. 🥱🥱🥱

3. Cheating is abuse that denies the other partner in the marriage/committed relationship the right to choose whether to be impacted in such a mental and emotional way by the actions of the cheating partner with a third party— an outsider to the marriage. Yes, cheating literally nullifies the marriage/relationship — relationships founded on commitment to one partner— contract, it is also an act that comes from a place of literal abuse directed at the partner who was cheated on. That is why it is cheating... it is like indirectly stabbing at their mental and emotional well-being without using a literal knife, while expecting them to somehow have to deal with it all the same.

emmyN:
➜Are you projecting? The OP never said anything about marriage being by force or that one can't find happiness while unmarried. Sounds like you're trying to foist your personal persuasions on others; in which way you'd be no different from the lay religious marketer.

Suggesting that being single is a good choice to someone who clearly has trouble accepting that a man should, according to Nigerian tradition, be the sole provider for his family in Nigeria, is nothing to do with persuasion or force, unless of course you are severely lacking in the comprehension department.

emmyN:
➜If his spouse denies him sex, that is cheating in itself.
➜ If he decides to cheat back, they are both in the same class and are deserving of each other.

I disagree! Denying your spouse sex can be considered a form of abuse if and only if the one you are denying sex has not previously made it clear that she/he is not interested in sex with you. Your spouse is not some sort of On/Off toy you can flick whenever it pleases you. I know at least one man who has, for many years, literally told their wives that they do not find them sexually attractive, only to later turn to the same woman for sex—whenever their sidechick/sidedick refuses to play into their hands— and then complain that she denied him sex.

2. I disagree! Cheating back—in retaliation for being denied sex, or any other problem between you and your spouse (the two individuals in the marriage) —makes you a despicable person. It is not on the same level.

Tolu2024:
➜Only LovePeddler go into a relationship and expecting the guy to be doing everything for her .
➜ If a girl can’t afford to do her own hair once a while she’s useless or going into relationship for the guy to be providing all her needs, so if the guy can’t provide she will look for the next guy to provide, how long will she keep looking for a guy to provide her needs before she get someone to do all that ?
➜ Happy I never dated any girl who depend on me 100%.

Wrong! Pr0stitutes do nothing of what you accuse them of. They know how to separate their work from their relationships. I know this because I used to befriend some women who were into the pr0stitution business. The are mostly able to compartmentalize, and that is how they can have lovers on the side.

2. You don't get to make the rules for women. Know this now and find your peace. If it turns out that you don't like women having freedom to decide their own standards and boundaries, then consider this... it is a you problem and not a them problem.

3. I really pity girls who date individuals with mentalities such as yours. If you literally can't abide women having the freedom to decide for themselves what they will accept or not accept in a love-relationship with men, then you are literally abusive as sheet to any woman that you engage with! Abuse is never acceptable.

bmd1010:
Nigerian Youth Storms Ex-Girlfriend’s House, Reclaims Every Item He Bought for Her
A viral video has surfaced online showing a young Nigerian man arriving at his ex-girlfriend’s residence with a team of friends to recover all the items he previously bought for her.
In the clip, the group is seen packing several belongings out of the apartment, suggesting he intended to take back everything he ever gifted her during their relationship.
In the background, a woman can be heard criticizing the young man, repeatedly asking whether he is not ashamed of himself for such an action. Despite the comments, he continued overseeing the packing without hesitation.
The footage has stirred reactions on social media, with users divided over whether his actions were justified or unnecessary.

When will Nigerian police step up and take seriously their duty to serve and protect the public, abeg? 🥱🥱🥱

See the audacity of these boys! They literally showed up in broad daylight to rob this woman's house, and expect us to believe they were doing some sort of good service. That woman should use this as evidence to have all of them charged and arrested, abeg.