₦airaland Forum

Tolu2024:
➜Breaking up with a guy because he can’t provide what your father can’t provide for you is a street girl nah, she will look for someone and before she will see they will knack her wotowoto.

What you are saying is that a woman now has no right to break up with a man whom she feels does not add any real value to her life? She has to be tagged a street gal if she comes from poor parents yet desires a life better than her parents were able to afford her as a child? I guess I shouldn't ask you what you would call a woman who would not budge as far as her boundaries and sheet!

I think it makes more sense to personally avoid dating women who are beyond your own pay group; that way, you can protect yourself from heartache, being dumped— for being too cheap/stingy— and needing to shame them for not wanting you. 🥱🥱🥱

RealityKings1:
✓ There are four distinct legal systems in Nigeria, which include Sharia Law, English law, Common law and Customary law

Exactly what has this to do with my comment?

RealityKings1:
➜You people should stop pushing this narrative, nobody rushed her into anything.

At 17...they are right.

TWoods:
➜I feel you're trying too hard to justify your own life choices.

If it is a choice as you rightly pointed out there(not a crime or offense), why does it require justification? Please, reason it carefully before responding!

Shawarmagirl:
➜As for me, I will uphold the integrity of my family and claim the pregnancy. I will take all the blame. After she put to birth, I will take my mum out for lunch, then beg her I have a confession but she must promise me never to cause problem or speak out. I will tell her who is responsible and I accept it to uphold the family interest.

You will force your mother to accept your father's betrayal as well as your stewpidity over a meal?

Some of you literally hate your mothers and maybe don't even see them as human beings at all. Na wa oo!

Wallade:
➜Did you see me advise other women? I am only concerned about my mom, dad and the unborn child. I have no business with your father and mother and I can't influence how you would handle yours in your home except you seek my advice.
➜Humiliation and embarrassment doesn't kill, the effect is temporary if you are matured enough to handle it. I don't wanna care about how you would handle it and I have no advice for you on that.

I didn't see this?

Wallade:
She could see it as betrayal. I see it as saving the marriage. They are grown parents. They will get over it. My mother should be matured enough to take a pinch. She would survive it.

2. Is this some roundabout way of saying your mother deserved to receive humiliation and embarrassment from even within — the man she was married to, who was supposed to protect and safeguard her and her children from that sort of thing?

duro4chang:
➜Let us just end it here. According to the Bible if you divorce and marries another one, you have committed adultery. You can't even divorce your wife except she commits adultery. So as a Christian, divorcing your wife because she denies you sex is not acceptable.
➜Well, I don't know the religion of the family involved here but it looks as if they are not Muslims. Are you married?

The book also says that the man who made that statement was sent only to the descendants of Jacob(the man whose God gave the name Israel). Unfortunately, the religion of fraud conveniently ignores that fact while it only uses the book to claim justification for some of the most despicable ideas it holds to. Religion is bullsheet to this argument.

2. Again, the constitution allows a man to divorce his wife when it no longer benefits him.

Wallade:
➜Would you rather have me die or go crazy because I found out that she cheated on me? What you don't know doesn't hurt you. It becomes hurtful when you get to know about it. We all handle cases differently and I have just said the manner in which I would handle it, if presented such case. You don't have to handle it the way I would.

We all handle cases differently, yet your earlier suggestion was that since your mother was debased and humiliated by your father in marriage, therefore, all other women should have to and be able to endure pretty much the same shame and degradation in the name of saving a marriage?

duro4chang:
➜You are funny even though you are right. But to say you want to divorce your wife because she denies you sex will look somehow.
➜ Many men are going through a lot. I am telling you the truth.
➜ You hear of many pastors committing adultery, just ask about what happens between them and their wives.

Divorcing a woman for refusing you sex is somehow, but committing adultery, a literal unofficial nullification of the marriage born from a place of abuse, seems more OK?

2. Divorce has always been available as a clear official solution to this problem. Again, people who cheat in retaliation are despicable individuals.

3. People being despicable to each other are some of the lowest humans out there.

Wallade:
➜She could see it as betrayal. I see it as saving the marriage. They are grown parents. They will get over it.
➜ My mother should be matured enough to take a pinch. She would survive it.

So, if your wife cheated on you and your daughters helped her keep the secret, you would also see it as them saving the marriage, abi?

2. So, if your mother had cheated on your father during that same time, and maybe she even had a child during that time, which she hid away somewhere—maybe during a time when your dad had to travel for an extended period for work or some other occasion— your father should not only be able to accept it(take a pinch) but also survive it?

Bestly:
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. What is the point of semen retention?

If you look closely at the image below, you see that your body is producing 2300 semen every second of your life. So, what exactly is it that you intend to accomplish by this so-called retention exercise? I don't think hoarding of semen is bodily/biologically possible; so why make a goal of what is literally impossible to do?

duro4chang:
That is part of it. He holds up to the pregnancy, the insult continues here and there not knowing what the man is going through. The other time I told you of my friend as a matter of fact, not only one friend told me similar situation like that. Please make enquiry, many married Yoruba men are going through a lot in the hands of their wives in the area of sex. A typical elderly married Yoruba wife will say:
Sex will make me old. Sex will make me have shameful pregnancy. Sex is not food. If you can't do without sex you can go out and look for sex. Sex is not good etc

If your wife refuses you sex, you have every right to divorce her. Not shit on yourself by cheating and then come back when caught to play the victim. Any person who cheats in retaliation is just a despicable human being. Just divorce and go do you outside of marriage. .

Kimikazi2:
➜Can't she get a job as a grown up? When what ought to be a treat becomes an obligation, ➜ then the relationship is more like a prostitute/client one.
➜It'll even be better to get a hooker than to be saddled with emotional baggage of being a provider ( mumu)

. Even if she has a job of her own and can well afford these things for herself, she is not your friend but your lover. If what you are looking for is a woman to be just a friend whom you don't have to contribute to in any way, then opt for a friend. However, when you cross over to wanting a lover — someone to invest time, emotional, mental, and physical energy in you— in either a woman or a man, then you should be able to contribute adequately, or simply accept that you are not worth what you are looking for.

Note that there are different kinds of relationships out there for different needs. You need to pick only what you need and can afford, not go out there to waste another person's time, physical, mental, and emotional energy for nothing, cause that is also what you do when you fail to understand exactly what you need and can afford. 🥱🥱🥱

2. I am all for you opting for a prostitute if what you need is a prostitute. (They do not have to put in any emotional and mental labor, and their time with you is limited to how much of it you can pay for —in some cases, you pay a fixed rate for their limited time with you. If that is what you need, a pay-as-you-engage relationship, then clearly a prostitute is what you need, not a lover.

3. Exactly! A prostitute may be what you need instead of a lover. Getting yourself a prostitute means you don't need someone who is emotionally, physically, and mentally available to you, and that is OK. Paying for a prostitute removes the emotional and mental layer of the relationship, strictly limiting interactions to the physical, and that is completely OK.

RealityKings1:
Only God knows what they've not asked me I do some I can, the rest I leave it to God to help them

. Pele! Next time, avoid batting above your league by dating only those women whom you can afford. And if at any point in the relationship, that woman decides she wishes to level up, and you find yourself unable to keep up. Cut your losses and keep yourself well within your league. It is that simple.

Women don't owe you anything, and it is not by force to date altogether!

RealityKings1:
➜One minute she's all flashy and dressed nicely and walking like the earth should bow.
Next minute, she's on your WhatsApp telling you about how her data is about to finish, how she's trying to pay for something online but short of needed cash. She wants to make her hair but doesn't have money.
The guy has money, she's the one who doesn't have money. The guy is doing well with his financial status, he shouldn't be pressured to think he's broke just because he can't give her money for hair and data.

This is all you projecting, right?

RealityKings1:
➜No, Go through the chat, she can't afford to do anything for herself.
➜ She can't even afford her own airtime and data nor make her own hair. A hungry dog has many owners
➜ The bone of contention here is that she needs a job or ask her own father and mother for hair money. She can't be making the guy feel PRESSURED like he's broke and can't afford things when it's obvious she's the problem. A hungry dog has many owners

. Note that you interpret her saying what she says as her not having money. I don't because, as I said, she was able to afford her whatever life she had before OP came into it, was she not?

2. She is not a hungry dog but a human being, home OP contracted in a dating relationship. If you see her as a hungry dog, then you have absolutely no business trying to date or engage her in any way. There is nothing in this that suggests she forced herself on OP.

3. You are the one here manufacturing this bone from the content of a single chat, which does not include her employment history.

Jman06:
Yet when guys choose to go for younger girls feminists like yourself would start talking trash about his choice. If a so-called financially independent lady still makes herself a liability that a man has to cater for just like a broke younger girl with her beauty and fertility still top notch, then every sensible man would go for the later. If this is the case, why do you feminists start seeing it like the man is looking for a young girl he can control?

You are still not making any sense! 🥱🥱🥱🥱

RealityKings1:
➜She should get a job so that she can afford the lifestyle she wants. The guy has money and can take care of his own bills, Its the girl that DOESN'T HAVE MONEY.

Wrong! She was able to do her hair herself before the man showed up, was she not? Then it is not she that needs to get a job but the man, so he can help cater to the cost of his woman's beautification needs.

If a man cannot afford to help with the cost of his woman's beautification needs, then there are two options available to him:
➜ He should find himself a woman whose cost he can afford(within his budget)
➜ He should get himself a job so he can better afford the cost of maintaining the kind of woman he is gunning for

Dating culture has never been free for men; that won't change because some cheap men now desire women who are clearly out of their financial league. The simple solution here is that men focus their attention on only those women whom they can afford and not bat above their league.

Qualityoffer:
➜According to you, the OP should work hard on getting a woman she can afford - which means that you believe that women are just commodities and are like kids that should be taking care of like infants. And the same you have a problem with someone, the person you quoted in particular, who advised the OP to know that once he starts dating a woman, he should know that he has become her second dad - dad's are good in taking care of their infants.
➜ Well, my bible has your type of person in mind when it says in 1 Timothy 6:4 - they are conceited and understand nothing. They have an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that result in envy, strife, malicious talk, evil suspicions. Don't even think that I will dignify you with meaningless back and forth exchange of words on this thread.

1. Women are not commodities; rather, relationships are transactional. Note the difference! A man who wants a certain type of woman should be willing and able to take on a part of what it costs— be it financial cost, emotional, physical& mental labor, etc.,— for her to maintain herself in the way that he likes her. A man who wants a woman who dresses like a million dollars should be ready to have to take on some of the cost of maintaining that million-dollar look that he so likes. This is nothing new.

There have always been costs associated with dating culture; this is something that adult men and women have engaged in for centuries; only a child of a man would think he could get a woman he cannot afford above his range at no cost to him.

2. I don't play these childish games with your kind, using the content of that book, which you lot have little or no regard for at the end of the day. 🥱🥱🥱🥱

Jman06:
➜Can you now see that it makes no sense for women to delay marriage on account of trying to build her financial capacity because on the long run she still expects her man taking care of her just the same way younger girls do?

None of this makes any sense to me, nor do I find any correlation between this nonsense and what I posted.

A woman obtaining her financial independence does not free any man from the responsibility of catering to her needs( as determined by her) while he is dating her and possibly married to her. Her financial independence does not erase or impact this responsibility that her potential suitors should know they submit to should they engage her.

SpaceX:
I just posted the links but got deleted by antispam bot

Stop telling stewpid lies! You gain nothing by doing so! 🥱🥱🥱

Wait a second! So, what OP is, in fact, telling us is that men are in some sort of war with women who don't want or regard them at all? I didn't know that some men are triggered by the segment of the female population that does not value or rate them.

SpaceX:
The stats is all over the internet....

Where—what address aka link— on the internet?

SpaceX:
➜Divorced men tend to be more wealthy than married men, your pocket will stop leaking. They also start to age like wine compare to women who age like milk. I can go on forever there are just too many to list....

Please post the source from which this claim of yours is culled from.

Wickedtruths:
Divorced and separated men live longer than married men.

Where in the world did you get this information from, please?

helinues:
➜The thread is about women but you decided to be shifting from the narration. Some of you just like to argue for arguing sake

I did not decide anything here since my particular question is about a claim you made regarding women.

helinues:
One of the reality about life is , you can't have it all at the same time. At 30 as a lady, if you are a career lady, getting married at that age might be too early if you don't want to loose focus. At that age, you can't do because of society pressure or expectations and get marry to a wrong guy. Happiness should be part of the love map in any relationship. Someone who is naturally toxic being single, how do you think such person will behave in a relationship/marriage? At 30, as a lady you must have been financial independent, if you found the right guy, no issue in getting married, but not financial stable, it means you are going into the marriage as a liability. And if wrong guy, just pray you won't be turned into a punching bag

Are you pretending now that you did not post the above then?

helinues:
➜What's a guy that's not financial stable finding in a relationship? If you can't take care of your babe someone else will help you

. You should tell me since you are the one whose comment insists Nigerian women should have attained financial independence by age 30, and not the men.

badaru911:
➜... You have to thank GOD for escaping the leech... She's likely to dump you when you ain't meeting her needs.. Like what the poster above wrote, get a good lady that have something doing and have a good character...

If he gets himself a woman whom he never has to help in any way, doesn't that make OP then nothing better than a chop & run boy, one of those women should completely avoid?

helinues:
➜One of the reality about life is , you can't have it all at the same time. At 30 as a lady, if you are a career lady, getting married at that age might be too early if you don't want to loose focus. At that age, you can't do because of society pressure or expectations and get marry to a wrong guy. Happiness should be part of the love map in any relationship. Someone who is naturally toxic being single, how do you think such person will behave in a relationship/marriage?
At 30, as a lady you must have been financial independent, if you found the right guy, no issue in getting married, but not financial stable, it means you are going into the marriage as a liability. And if wrong guy, just pray you won't be turned into a punching bag

1. WOw... so much gobbledegook like what the OP posted.

2. Do Nigerian men also find financial independence by age 30, or is this just for Nigerian women at age 30?

Tolu2024:
➜If you are not a yahoo boy and you want to date please look for someone who have something doing or someone still living with her parents and respected background and good home training, leave all this street girls for yahoo boys you can’t compete with them.

So, a woman asking her man for money to take care of her hair needs is a street girl?

Why bother dating women when you are not willing to give even the bare minimum where dating is concerned? Why even engage women if you know you have nothing to offer them?

RollinTNDA:
Dating a girl = Acting like her dad. The moment you date a girl. You are practically replacing her father's role. You are now Assistant Dad. You are taking the responsibility of her. Know this and know peace..

If this is what you truly think it means to date a girl, then why bother with women altogether? Clearly, you don't like or regard them at all for you to suggest that you are taking the place of their dads when you choose to date them? Why not date a man instead, do you won't have to think such things.