₦airaland Forum

IblivinProgress:
➜ They make me feel bad; like I don't want to date them when I am just being considerate of how their husbands would feel and how I would feel if it were me ( I am not even looking at it from any religious view)
➜ Note: Some of them resulted to hostile interactions when they see that I jokingly but firmly won't give in. (Telling the superiors is not an option because they are clicks with the others and also make their moves at me too). Has anyone else experienced something similar? How did you handle it? I'd appreciate any advice or insights on how to maintain professional boundaries while also keeping my job.
Thanks in advance for your responses! Modified...I wanted to mention you on this post since it was taking long for response from people before I got this response from the people below. Your views are always unedited.Please your thoughts would still be appreciated. Thanks !

I am confused. Is it that you would want to date them but are holding back because they have husbands, then? Sounds like you are not being straight here to me. 😏😏

2. Hope this is not a case of office bullying? If yes, please immediately report to the right authorities who can help with this. I don't condone bullying of any kind, and I don't think anyone should.

That said, are you certain you are not giving them mixed signals? Please check to be certain that this is not the case. If indeed you are not the source of their confusion, then it may be best to avoid all personal talk with them until they realize your resolve never to date any of them.

derico:
➜Same guy. Same face. Same community. Turns out, he is also in Abuja — and seemingly at the same financial level. And somehow, without realizing it, she’s now back in the same economic and social space she once tried to escape. Not only that — the ex now lives and breathes in the same streets.
She says she hasn’t felt the same since morning. She’s angry — not even at the ex, but at herself. Angry that she “moved on” only to find herself standing next to a life she thought she closed the door on. Angry that her husband — once a ladder out of that level — has now landed them right back where she started.
She doesn’t even pity the ex. He’s just... there. What gets to her is the realization of the distance between progress and starting over. Now she's afraid of going out. Doesn’t want to bump into him again. Not because of any feelings, but because she doesn’t know how to feel. It’s like her life pressed rewind on its own.
➜ And me? I just keep thinking… Maybe it’s not even the ex that hurts — it’s what he represents. A life you tried to outrun. A level you had left.
It's the haunting feeling that life might be showing you a mirror — not of who you were, or who they are… but of how little control you ever had in the first place. What if you fall… and land exactly where you thought you left for good?

Your friend is simply not mature still. Let her stew in her anger for a while. Hopefully, she realizes that life is not as programmed by her senses but by her very own decisions and actions. She did not do wrong by leaving a man she saw no future with. She has the husband and family she desired to have now. She may not have the financial aspect figured out yet, but that is not to say she will not eventually do just that. She should maybe consider pushing towards that goal of her own, rather than continually relying on her husband to save her in that.

2. Falling is to be expected and is not the problem. Some do it more times than others. The problem is how you choose to perceive the fail or failures in your life. Some might see failure as proof that they are trying, while others might see their failure as proof of their inadequacies. Your friend is angry that she has not attained her financial goal after depending on another for it. Maybe it is time for her to buckle down and do things differently for herself, if that is in fact what she really wants.

placeofallure:
➜I beg to differ. Those adults you opined are now grandmas have good characters. The only few bad eggs among them would probably be the rebels who wouldn't conform no matter what despite that they were raised well.
➜ You see the mothers of these Gen Zs need parenting themselves.
➜ I deal with young people and their parents; I witness first hand how decayed today's parents, especially mothers, are. Sometimes, I blame the men for not looking well enough before making mothers out of some women. Their attitude is disgusting. Like the woman the poster talked about, why would you even ask the girl whether she would carry the cake or not?
➜ The cycle goes on and on with poor parenting and it's consequences because you cannot give what you don't have!

We keep lying to ourselves a lot on that continent.

So, growing up, they messed things up and even raised many of the hoodlums and damaged elements who are now parents to the Gen Zs you all can't stand, and after all that age transformed them into individuals with good characters? 😂😂😂😂

2. But what you are invariably saying is that the grandmothers and grandfathers whom you claim now have good characters failed to raise the mothers of these GenZers well; this is what you are finally admitting to.

3. They are decayed because their parents before them were also decayed. You can come from a good house and turn around to raise your kids terribly. No matter how hard you try, you will still end up doing a decent job, even if not as good as you were raised. Damaged parents raise damaged kids; the damage of the parents came from their own damaged upbringing.

4. Somewhere in this cycle are those grandmothers and grandfathers whom you now pretend are with good characters.

SmallmebigGod:
➜Well, not sure exactly the scope of problems you were referring to, but disrespect for elders was not celebrated as it is right now.
➜Here on Nairaland a post about someone who slapped an old man, almost every comments says the old man must have deserved it. I couldn't fathom that a time will come that a young man slapping elderly man will be acceptable.
➜ If it is about other moral decadence, nudity, sexual excesses , of course, we all know they have been around for a while , the so called GenZ just got bolder with it .

1. The way you all talk about your respect for elders, one would think Nigeria was ever a place where elders were regarded as human beings worth valuing in that country. There was never such a thing, at least in the last 60-something years, though.

2. If a young man were caught slapping an old man attempting to rape his young girl, or attempting to assault a woman, or something along those lines, would you also say this? I believe everything should be handled on a case-by-case basis.

3. I don't buy into these standards of morality that don't make sense, since everyone seems to have their own petty standards. So, as long as no law is being broken, I see no reason why anyone should be shoving such standards down the throat of others as thought they get to decide how others can or cannot act. You are definitely talking to the wrong person here about that morality nonsense.

eventainment:
What if it's the girl that's is paying the family bills?

That na wetin we dey call complications upon complications. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

hosemujica:
Ah seen worse . Na shalanga be this sef. E de there.

You copied an image from a camping site called Buckaroo Bunkhouse Camping, located near Florissant, Colorado, expecting what?

SmallmebigGod:
➜That's Gen Z for you, they will rather blame their ancestors than look inward at their own morals. Excuses up and down.

I am instead an ancestor admitting to you that the problem you see in Nigeria today started long before the parents of these GenZ kids were even conceived.

Obierika:
➜You mean Ike Ekweremadu from Enugu State who is still serving a jail term in the UK?

His wife was released not long ago, and there was jubilation in Enugu that day.

Mrs. Beatrice Ekweremadu, wife of a former Deputy Senate President, Senator Ike Ekweremadu, has been released from the United Kingdom’s prison. A source who craved anonymity told PUNCH Online that Beatrice, who was sentenced to five years in UK prison, returned to the country on Tuesday.
She is said to be currently in Abuja. Our correspondent, however, gathered that there is jubilation currently going on in her family house in the Mpu community of Aninri Local Government Area of Enugu State.
Beatrice, her husband and one Obinna Obeta were jailed for the organ-trafficking plot, with different jail terms in 2023 by the United Kingdom court. Speaking with our correspondent during the community-wide celebration, the President of Mpu Town Union Federated, Mr Benjamin Chijioke, described her return as a huge relief to the entire community.
Chijioke, however, prayed to God to intervene in the case of Ekweremadu, their son so that he would also return home like his wife in good health. https://punchng.com/breaking-ekweremadus-wife-released-from-uk-prison/

emkz:
➜Just adopt the child. There is absolutely no need to fake pregnancy or birth. An adopted child would not be denied the same rights as a biological one. But no...

Adoption is still viewed as taboo among most Nigerians. We don't like to admit this, but this is the truth. You talk about adoption, and immediately, you get told it is more expensive or that it is not easily accessible, etc. Excuses are plenty why a Nigerian man and woman should not consider adoption or bring up the topic at all. But the very same people are willing to pay so much more, endanger even their own health— the women in the video are literally allowing themselves to be injected with unknown substances —, to claim a kidnapped baby for their own.

On the whole, Nigerian society is not moving forward at all.

Iamzik:
➜You see this mantra of respect is earned is misleading so many of you. Respect for your parent and elders is not earned im the first instance.
➜ You meet an elderly person in the train standing while you are sitting...you don't need the man do do anything extraordinary to "earn" your respect before you offer him a seat.
➜ This phrase has been abused so much that most of you use it as convenient excuse to be rude and disrespectful

1. I disagree with you. There is the basic level of respect we must all have for each other as humans, and this respect is to be equally given to all humans regardless of age, gender, or status. This is where the base respect we have for our parents and elders should also come from. Anything above this base level of respect ought to be earned, either by parents or by those whom you regard as elders in your life.

2. The basic respect I give to a child or toddler, a disabled or sick man or woman, or a pregnant woman that I meet on the same train is the very same respect I would give to that elderly person on the train, nothing more. And this is unearned respect.

3. The one's abusing the phrase are generally those who lack a basic understanding of the fact that all humans should be respected equally, to begin with. The problem isn't the phrase but the lack of understanding, i.e., the ignorance of those who abuse it.

salem1996:
➜ Even if your mum decided to carry it, your own conscience will not allow her to.
➜ The Gen Z we have now are not really Gen Z, let's simply call shameless and idiotic behaviors by name.

Would you have had this same fear if it were someone else's mum? I bet you wouldn't. Why? Because your fear-based respect for your mother would not translate to respect for every other mother or there. So, what real value is it?

2. The shame and idiocy you observe today flow from the shame and idiocy of previous generations, including those you regard as elders today.

Celestialsword:
➜Even those that have worked hard to be given respect doesn't gets it,
➜Could you give an example on things you do that will earn you respect

1. In Nigeria? Who are they?

2. For starters, all humans — babies, children, and people of all ages —deserve equal respect simply for being. But this is missing in the Nigerian situation. Any additional respect to be earned would be available through work or effort in areas where such opportunities are available.

Bigchris01:
➜The modern day parenting has make morals go into extinction, some parents need to learn how to teach their children morals that’s exactly what is affecting this woke generation,
➜ no respect anymore if not mom won’t be carrying cake and the daughter will be walking along with her, my mom go first give her dirty slap for that mall after she don received public disgrace then she will now learn how to behave next time ...

What real values did these morals have for those who supposedly had them? Did it build for them a great society or country? Why teach these so-called morals, which most don't even agree on? Why not simply teach them to respect the rights of individuals and the legal codes?

2. Is this respect , earned only by way of an assault and humiliation, real?

Exousiang01:
➜How old is America and how old I Nigeria or Ghana by your estimation?

Why are some roads in America not paved?

Some roads in America are not paved primarily due to cost and traffic volume. Paving is expensive, and in areas with low traffic or limited budgets, the cost of paving and maintaining paved roads can outweigh the benefits. Additionally, unpaved roads are common in rural areas where they may be used primarily for access to resources like logging or mining areas, and may not require the same level of maintenance as roads with higher traffic.

Paving costs money and these unpaved roads are known —tracked.

Celestialsword:
➜You don't earn respect in Nigeria, you demand it through various means

And it is for this reason that respect remains a scarce commodity in that country. Nobody is willing to earn it; Rather, everyone is trying to demand and cajole others into giving it to them.

TheNobleProphet:
➜Which state in America is he talking about?
The place he is describing is the far hinterland in the US and most times they have drivable roads connecting them to the nearest towns.
I can bet such roads are like 2% if not less than in the whole of America!
Make the guy go rest because it will take Ghana like 5000 years to near America for infrastructural development!

Most of those roads are left that way for good reason.

Glimpsetv:
➜A Ghanaian working in the United States as an Amazon delivery driver has shared a video showing the condition of a rural road in the US — sparking widespread discussion on X.
The post attracted mixed reactions. Some users explained that this is typical of rural areas, noting that such roads are often quiet, with few residents, as they mostly lead to farmlands. Others pointed out that roads like this can even be found in urban areas of some African countries, especially in Ghana, the driver's home country.

So, because Amazon decided to ply the road, the government should spend millions to tar up a road that barely sees a vehicle a day? Abeg, get away! Tell Amazon to fix the road if the business it gets from there is worth it, then. I bet the customers it seeks to reach in those areas would not mind.

bobbiiee:
➜We have lost our values as parents. What will she be doing when the mum is carry the cake?

The generation of parents before this and the one before that also decried the loss of values. No be today!

ppogba:
➜An untrained mother begets an untrained daughter. Which one concern you? Una never see something.

And untrained fathers beget untrained sons and agberos, right?

Melagros:
COMRADES, these bad guys/eggs will not stop tarnishing our image abroad

Tarnish your image abroad? What she did here was simply try to export the same criminal nonsense that is allowed and even considered acceptable among the religious in Nigeria abroad. The image tarnishing happens in broad daylight right there in Nigeria. Now she knows that what is allowed in Nigeria is not allowed in the UK, though.

temitope27:
➜Porn addiction is not bad actually, but sex addiction is worse

Addiction is addiction, whether it is to food, porn, eating tissue paper, hair, etc. It is bad!

He claims he was addicted, but who diagnosed or knew of his addiction? Liking something very much is not the same as being addicted to it.

Babatunjo:
➜I have known Gaise Baba since the days of kingdom Africa (Akin Alamu) on DSTV...that was around the same time Nathaniel Bassey came to spotlight with "Book of Life" song. His story is truly that of, "Delay is not denial" I can never go back ooh.. nooo nooo!

But delay has never been denial for those willing to stick to their guns and work towards their goal. Of course, it is for those unwilling to put in the work and effort necessary to achieve their goal.

jmoore:
Built under the government of Donald Duke of Cross Rivers state. Obudu cattle ranch is currently abandoned as facility rots.

A resort was built in this manner for cattle rearers

AWONEYAN:
➜The parents are the one over indulging the so called Genz. It's unfortunate the the things you are wired to know by default are not being upheld by this generation.
From simple courtesy of greeting an elder, always relieving elderly of loads,not sitting down while talking to elder,or standing up for them to sit first. The terrible children of the past have now become Mother, so no lesson to hand over

What about the terrible parents of the past who raised the terrible children of the past who have now become mothers? Are they not [b]the elders of today[/b]whose grandchildren have no real regard or respect for?

It is easy to blame the current generation while conveniently ignoring the fact that the problem started long ago with those you consider your elders, the ones who failed to stand up for their rights as individuals and those of their children. Respect is best when earned, not demanded.

dre11:
by Claire Mom
The UK police have nabbed a Nigerian woman at Gatwick Airport after she arrived in the country with a very young baby girl believed not to be her child.
The woman has been tagged Susan, while the child is identified as Eleanor. Both names are pseudonyms.
According to a BBC report published on Monday, Susan had been living in West Yorkshire with her husband and children since June 2023.
Before travelling to Nigeria in early June 2024, she had told her doctor in the UK that she was pregnant and wanted to give birth to her baby in her home country.
However, scans and blood tests showed that it was not the case. Instead, they revealed Susan had a tumour, which doctors feared could be cancerous. But she refused treatment.
Susan said her previous pregnancies had been invisible on scans, telling her employer, “My babies are always hidden”.
She also claimed she had been pregnant for up to 30 months with her other children.

What she did is what many Nigerian women in Nigeria have been doing for a while now — the miracle Baby trend that has been going on for over a decade now in Nigeria. And all of the babies in this case— by these Miracle Baby Scammers— are also sourced through child trafficking and baby factory businesses across the country. Not too long ago, a BBC documentary came out revealing how widespread this problem is and how the government is, as always, slow in acting against the trend.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r62xSGw3kcI?si=AHOtnx24kKHx1gjv

My guess is this is probably not this woman's first time getting a baby via this scam. A quick DNA test would probably show that not all of her kids are hers.

shegs2009:
Married Men know they have to tolerate nonsense, something u can't try with them during the bachelor days are now order of the day...ability to take nonsense has been stretched *compromised* is the word. I know some men that can control their wife, they got lucky with a gentle and introverted wife...but I haven't seen the extroverted being controlled, I am not talking about abuse but respect even in absence, some people mistake this for fear. Simp are all over the place making this quality rare

. Look, the moment you begin thinking you need to control your partner, know that your relationship is near its end, and you are instead working on becoming a slavemaster. In that case, it is better to end the relationship completely than go down that route. Those who become controllers of their partners never meet a good end. They are called abusive husbands/wives for good reason.

Negroid001:
Thank God o. I no dey go office tomorrow. This is the only good thing Buhari has done for this country.

Kai! Nigerians ehn! Na in death una dey celebrate them, abi? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

DitariIzon:
My mum is fair skinned, my wife dad is fair skinned, I and my wife we are black skinned and then we gave birth to a fair skinned son.
The son carry my shape of head and forehead, my shape of nose my shape of fingers , my shape of ear, and my kind of voice but he is fair skinned while I'm dark.
How is it possible?

These days you can simply ask the Google AI and get the answer you need right away.

GainBold:
Masturbation a sin? Please share your thoughts here

Of course, it is nonsense to claim so, but how can you make a religious nutjobs see light?

Aonkuuse:
... The man love his kids as much as you do, don't stand in the way of your kids future!!! From what you have written here, it shows that you and the man are not in good terms and if you have stayed out of their lives well enough not to get informed of their going abroad then there is something you are not telling us here.

Libya na abroad too.

SimpleGuy001:
✓I really want to deal with this man, I think I have had enough. He isn’t gonna change, I didn’t want to take this route but it is a a must at this point.

Iff your father's cheating is the issue, then your mother should have left him a long time ago and found herself something doing in order to support you kids better. Your father's adultery should not be a problem for you to deal with but an issue for you to maybe query your mother on. Why did she continue cling to a man who probably only sees her as a housekeeper/baby mama/nanny/cook, etc. ?Does she wish to continue the charade into her old age even when it clearly does not benefit her and her children to do so? What message does she intend for her children to take away from all of her choices so far? Does she really think that becoming a burden to her children even before their feet is planted is the way to go? 🤔

Yes, the situation is not one anyone would wish for but you need to approach it reasonably. If you say you will no longer help the man, that is one thing but declaring you will deal with him because he is continuing to do what your mother has allowed him do to her for all this while ...you need to think more carefully here.