₦airaland Forum

Hhh4444:
➜evolving into what exactly?The institution is heading into extinction and you are talking about evolution.

We don't know yet, that is the thing, but judging from the various kinds of marriages popping up everywhere, we certainly know it is going to getting to be individually designed and no longer as designed by society.

OgidiHerbals:
You've said it all summarily. Most divorces happens with LEARNED couples.

Back when your ancestors divorced wives, abandoning them in many cases along with the children they had, taking back bride prices, sometimes to appease other women/men or simply because, were they learned? Na school, your ancestors go go learn divorce ? Nonsense! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

fxexperts:
Look at folks that has been deceived and went ahead to marry mercilessly used and finish. I just pity your type I swear down.

So, the man was not used since he also had a wife and children. Na the woman only wey dey used? The worm wey dey eat una brain...una never begin to discuss it. 🙄🙄🙄

Hhh4444:
➜Marriage is now outdated. The lies holding it together has now been revealed. Divorce will continue to increase and single guys will no longer be interested in marriage. Embrace the new reality.

I'd rather think it is now undergoing a much-needed evolutionary step.

Akuruoulo:
➜Are you not too old for this question?

Na because una no dey ask questions, una dey always dey extremely ignorant of the fact right before your very eyes.

Gandah:
➜Na y I dey fear to marry especially with the current hardship

It is OK not to marry at all. Don't let society bully or browbeat you into doing what you are not built for or capable of living with.

Dpaulie:
➜The least long marriage in my paternal and maternal party is 30 years and still counting, my parents marriage is over 50 years. Speak for yourself madam. Marriage Dey last well, well!

Here's the most important we would like to know. Would you have been willing to trade places with the woman in that 30-year marriage you referenced? Are you telling us that you would have gladly lived the exact life your mother did for those 50 years?

SlavaUkraini:
➜Marriage cannot last these days because both husband and wife are always looking outside for pleasure and attention

Was marriage a lot better when it was mostly just the men looking outside for pleasure and attention?

lailo:
➜Gender equality is why marriages are collapsing. A man and a woman are not equal. Simple

When your ancestors abandoned wife and children for what were, many a time, selfish reasons, was it gender equality to blame then too?

Princeokwuego1:
➜Marriage is a cage and everyone wants to be free

Marriage has almost never been designed as a cage. Divorce has always been an open gate out of marriage for many thousands of years. Your traditions and religions instead taught you that it was a cage. The moment cuts out of those delusions, one begins to see things as they have almost always presented themselves. 🥱🥱🥱🥱🥱

arantess:
➜so in your lineage marriage no dey last abi wetin you dey talk? my parent have done 35 years, is that not lasting? i have seen 70 years marriage. is that not lasting enough for you? Don't judge marriages by your own experiences in and around you oo. forget social media, marriages are doing well

Can you, in all honesty,live exactly like your mother had to for those 35 years of her life? Can you tell us that you would gladly do anything to become just like that woman who lived 70 years of her life in that marriage you mentioned?

Telling us some marriages lasted for as long as they did has no meaning. Rather, making it plain to us that you would gladly trade places and life with the particular women— not as any other women— who lived through those set marriages, is what would peak our interest the most.

Jezreeltv:
➜Good morning house, I'm Philip, I live in Abuja. Pls I have a question to ask so I can know the next step of action. My inlaws came to my house, picked up there daughter and my child in my absence, I got back home and found my house locked, slept outside and the next morning I broke my door and found out my valuables (including laptops, jewelries and items I sell) is missing. Now am helpless and I want to approach the court, how do I go about it. Thank you.

Have you at least reported the kidnapping of your child to the police, or are you more concerned at this time with the stolen property? Also, how certain are you that your in-laws did it? Did your wife inform you of this, or who did? A witness?

Report the situation to the police first. A record of the event needs to be available for the courts to move forward. Then you can approach a lawyer and go from there.

jetwonder:
Social media is one of the things that affects marriages negatively. Our women has grown wings!!!

Really? Back in 1981, the official divorce rate recorded in parts of Northern Nigeria, including Plateau State, was at about 80%. Was it social media to blame for that trend back then, too?

Of course, someone might come here to argue that the picture was a lot different in the South, to which I would respond that spousal/marriage abandonment in the South is also divorce(only without the official reporting of it). Fortunately, the government has criminalized spousal/marriage abandonment, forcing many to now seek divorce as a way out of marriage instead of abandonment, which used to be the default for many in the South.

Zionmdde:
➜It's simple. Why did you marry the person?? That question answers surrounding widespread divorces
In our world today people just want to do because others are doing, He has money, she has big front and back.
➜ Nobody trusts each other, even vigilante don't do up to what married people do to investigate their spouse. On a lighter note, due to the widespread brest and nyash parading everywhere, a man who Remains faithful needs a trophy

It has always been that way... I mean people doing things because others are doing it too. Divorce has always been a part of society, just that it is now more visible than it used to be. Abandonment culture used to be what it operated as, where the abandoned were subjected to shame, misery, and silence, forced to live in shame. Now that is thankfully no more the case.

2. Trust is something that is earned over a lifetime, not given for free just because one wishes to play the marriage game. Humans are generally untrustworthy; this is our fact. So, marriage pretending that trust is the key is already a marriage built on a lie.

Demigod22:
Our generation is not cut out for marriage. We are too sophisticated and nonconformists to respect the values in which marriage is built upon.

What generation was cut out for marriage? The generation of your ancestors who were notorious for abandoning wives and children, even for the slightest or just because? Or the generation that shamed abandoned women, labelling them outcasts to keep them from revealing they were abandoned, and why? Or are you referring to the Gen X's who still don't realize that abandonment is pretty much the same as divorce without a formal announcement?

Ezini:
➜Facebook, search his page, many bloggers broadcasted it for long

So which of these videos is it?
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61572791666645&sk=videos

Ezini:
✓ Yes she was cheating while in that marriage
Obasi boldly granted an interview that cleared the air,
Judy met yul on her way back
✓ From school, I believe they got talking, she fell in love , and began to tell her husband to rent a house for her In Enugu, the man declined, he came back from travel and noticed that Judy has packed and left home with their kids

Wait a second ... Whether she was cheating or not during the marriage is not the issue here.The issue is whether the marriage ended in May 2013 or not.
✓ If it did, then, and, according to you, she was cheating at the time --- and the man provided evidence for the cheating too, of course, -- then why or how did she get custody of the kids? Was it the courts that granted her custody? If so, why? If not, why? 🤔
✓ If the marriage did not end in May 2013, as she claims, then why did the man allow his children to be kidnapped and away from him for so long before now showing up to claim he has been to the courts?
✓ When was the first time he showed up at the courts regarding the supposed kidnapping of these kids? I think that info will go a long way toward resolving much. 🤔

2. Abeg, forget all those other stories. They don't amount to much in the grand scheme of things. Did he divorce her or not? Did he report to the police when she moved out, kidnapping his kids in the process? What matters is evidence, not stories.

Ezini:
✓ Exactly Obasi was on air few months back and laid everything bare, Judy is yet to counter it

He was on air to claim that divorce did not take place in May 2013? Can you please provide a link to the video make we see, abeg! 🤔

Ezini:
✓ On the contrary it could be poverty, all the time he was going to welfare he was not a celebrity but now he is a celebrity all thanks to some well meaning people who decided to show him love the way May was shown support,
Now he is a social media star, police or welfare can no longer treat his case with contempt, and there’s money to go about it too

Storyland! 🙄🙄🙄🙄

Beremx:
kobojunkie, my posts are self explanatory. I dunno what else you want me to say o! I can't explain further sis

They do not because they only seem to create so many more questions apart from that which we knew back when the couple came online and so on. I am not a fan of this woman myself but come on, no need to make her out for what she may not be.

Beremx:
she has been sleeping with Yul Edochie right from when she was still married. She's lying. Her ex husband said it himself they were having affair. He said it with proof

She has been sleeping with him since before the 2013 divorce and his wife did not know this? What proof do you have that she is lying?

Yashita:
➜Small small be using your brain 🧠 my dear! Are there not women doing this same thing, someone like Tonto Dike?

Has the man at least been paying child support to her or the courts in all of that time? That is a valid question to ask. Suggesting a woman or a man should put everything on hold just because a deadbeat dad or mom finally decided to show up to see his kids out of nowhere is ludicrous. Especially since the same is likely to vanish again right after that. 😏

Where has the man been since 2013? Has he been paying child support or neglecting the kids all this time, only to then show up in 2022— this happens to be the date of the earliest record I was able to find of him claiming he was denied access to his kids— demanding to be allowed to see them?

Arostar2023:
➜Anyway, the man can tell better on why he has been an absentee father. The court and welfare can't just hand over children to you simply because you are the biological father. The take past and the present into consideration. But then, I can't imagine been in his situation. It can be heartbreaking.

As the courts should. His absence from the lives of his kids should be better explained by him since the woman claimed the marriage ended in May 2013, over 12 years ago. Why is he just showing up many years later to claim he was denied access to the kids? Who has been fending for them in all of that time and the times before then?

Antoeni:
➜Mr Obasi Should Report The Matter to VDM And Let Very Dark Man (VDM Take it Up From There, Yul Edochie Should Return Judy Obasi Back to Her legitimate Husband. They Were Not Divorced

She said they were divorced in May of 2013, many years before she met Yul Edochie. 🙄🙄🙄
https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cu2krTXoxn3/

Sundaymessi:
So for 10 years, Judy has been paying the children's school fees and feeding them?

...

Beremx:
➜is that the issue?
➜If the woman decides to be paying school fees and use it as a weapon for blackmailing the man in the future,
➜ do you think it's right? Use your brain to decipher

. It is a big issue, though!

2. Use it as a weapon to blackmail the man in the future.... what?

3. If the man has been a deadbeat dad in all of that time, what right does he have to out of nowhere decide he should be allowed to have children he never cared to fend for? Does simply being the sperm donor mean he has the right and authority to access the kids when it pleases him? Come on now!

IblivinProgress:
➜Not at all. I meant, I would have loved to date at least one from all of them If they were single.

If it had been just one person, I would have maybe considered that you may have a deranged follower. But with more than one, I think you should do some reflecting on how you present yourself when you relate or interact with them. They might be confused the same way you were able to confuse me into thinking you are not really giving any of them the full red light.

AfonjaPriest:
➜Nobody should blame the man for the long passage of time before he could come out to speak.
➜ You never could tell what he must have passed through. Some things are not that easy to discern until it has happened to you. Even then, there are some people who will be in the same hole for twenty years and be still struggling. Ah, life is indeed a mystery!

The woman says her marriage with the man ended in May of 2013, we are in July of 2025, so this has been over 12 years at this point. Fast forward to the 2020s, and the woman is now married to Yul Edochie, whom she claims she met years after her divorce from the Obasi man. But we are not to blame him for all that time he did not search for his children, assuming he really cares for them?

2. What he must have passed through and not what the children must have had to pass through due to his absence — probably financially as well— from their lives?

Beremx:
➜he didn't wait for 10years to cry out. From his old videos he posted on social media, he's been going to court and welfare all to no avail.
➜ He was threatened and his shop burnt down because he wants to see his kids. He went to his ex wife's kinsmen, they chased him out. The last option is to come on social media. Abeg leave the man alone

The previous marriage with Judy, according to the woman, ended in 2013, years before she met Yul Edochie. That is over 12 years at this point in time. https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cu2krTXoxn3/

2. Why did the courts deny him access to his children, if he has been an ever-present father for them all the while, should be the question. Why did his ex-wife's kinsmen chase him out?

Beremx:
don't mind them. It's so disheartening that some men especially on Facebook were insulting him and calling him names. The real victim is Mr Obasi. All he wants is to see his kids. Nothing more.

How exactly is he a victim if his supposed marriage with the woman ended around 2013, according to the tales we heard around the time this woman and Yul became an item? Are you insinuating that the woman lied when she made this claim?

https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cu2krTXoxn3/

Beremx:
➜it's not his fault he's an absentee father. He went to welfare and the case was being delayed. Police couldn't act without the permission of welfare. He's been silenced severally not to talk about trying to see his kids. A man man who single handedly trained his wife in school and she left him for Yul Edochie. Indeed it is very sad

She left him ke? The story at the time was that her previous marriage ended in 2013 or thereabout, and years later, when she started with this Yul guy, she was already a single mother with 3 or so kids. Are you now saying that was not the case, that she cheated on her husband at the time with Yul? I am not a fan of hers or something, but ...