freecocoa: And to think supposedly learned people read this story, believed it and started insulting the igbo tribe, goes a long way to show that "PEOPLE SEE\HEAR ONLY WHAT THEY WANT TO" fucktards.

odogwu nwanyi, ekene m ooooooo

cocoduck:

you Know very little about automotive industry.

You need to apologise to the entire Car-Talk section for this blunder.

Please try and investigate a personality before u comment on anyone here.

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in as much as what we say here may not really change much, i think de parents are forgetting she is now an adult...
in as much as she is still under dia roof, dey need to free her a little cos these are some of the actions that set dese girls onn the loose and make dem make some mistakes when hey have de slightest of freedom.

OP,
she just may not have to cut all ties but try reduce to de barest minimum interactions with her guy,
she should be patient and wise to balance her life and the life her parents wants untill she lives on her own and live de kinda life she wants,
the parents lived her life for her for 22years, few months wont kill her.

Thanks for talking to us,

marry the 2 na...lol

OP, i believe u have them both cos they have some characterization u desire.

i could deduce from your post that-
girl 1=X, is more exciting and cracks u up and more like a "never-a-dull-moment" kinda girl.
girl 2=y, is more of a wife a material and seem cool headed and being a graduate is an added advantage.

but bro, u may not be able to eat your cake and have it.

bring a paper and pen, check their qualities and know which has a better prospect of making u happy for a very looooong time, then try and build her up in the area of lack.




but my man, a confused man like u cant have a wedding in 3months, so please dont confuse yourself more........good luck........shaaa

Hmmmmmmmm,
this lady seems to have this sparky behaviour and very fun to be with.......
please dont be carried away, dont forget how much your present gal had tried to make yu guys work as u stated earlier.

Kindly and nicely avoid this lady now or yu find yourself having a divided attention and u know its not gonna be well for yur current relationship.

she is just a "passers-by", please treat her as such and dont give room for any nonsense


good luck

Wu Zetian: Isn't it funny that it is automatically assumed that I am middle-aged?? Lol

I could detect the "market woman" mentality from a mile away

Sholly abeg leave dem before dey term yur points "rude".

She is just not ready to digest the fact that we differ from her own opinion, i wonder whats going on in her home........#NotMeanToBeRude#

I can smell frustration.

jumbotron: OP, I am a young married woman. I love my husband and I thank God I was able to finish school, work while being a wife and mother. My husband was super supportive. I see where the young married ladies are coming from but I will advice you, you know your story and your husband. Remove pressure from him and society and consider a few things. Are YOU on your own willing to walk down this path? Make sacrifices and put your needs aside for the greater good of your new family. Bear with your husband getting grumpy about your education taking center stage, because he has to take a back seat for a little. Afterall, you might as well do the education thing with all excellence. Some of these unhappy women you see nowadays are products of rushed unions. We need to get out of this mentality of: He will leave and you will be lonely later, or time no dey o.

Make the best choice for YOU. I just gave you a synopsis of my own life but I know what life would have been like. It's not about catching fun, it's about growing and knowing yourself by yourself and knowing what you want. I always advise women today, develop yourself if you can. Then enter a marriage. I am not saying be all rich but have something in your arsenal. Nigerian women are horrible at this and we have statistically, one of the worst sets of marriages. We are too dependent on men for everything. We can't contribute to the home because we are not prepared to do more than house keeping (something you can now hire day service to do). Too many babies marrying and taking their pitiful situations as "it is what it is". Get you together and then marry. Whether all these women like it or not, you have more respect that way. The choice is ultimately yours. Like I said, my experience was beautiful but I wouldn't advice my child to do it or my little sisters.

God bless

GOD Bless yur home, amen!

byvan: Konnecktions,Make your points without being rude or lashing out like a tout.If you can comprehend correctly, You did understand that it isn't about justifying or condemning anything.Why are you having your knob in a bunch?OP is trying to make a choice and am giving her my own opinion,please don't go that rude route with abeg.If you are contented doing one thing at a time and wasting useful time over so little,not every one is.

Rude?

i will pass....Good luck ma!

ify84:

sissie is correct joor... it is more terrible to be a banker and married THAN to be a student and married...

i asked , are the bankers finding it easy? NO

if yu are working and have a good relatnshp with ya boss.....u can have it easier.
u are considere an adult no matter yur age

but in school
yu are always seen as a child.

guy man, think!

Sissie:

Hehehe, I should learn the art of comparison?

The way people argue on NL amuse me.

No assignments, test e.t.c. so at ALL work places you do not have projects to execute, write, do research on, you dont have deadlines.

You don't wake up Monday to Friday and go to work 8-4, you can just miss a workday if you like. When pregnant you can choose not to go to work.

Studying some school courses depending on the person is easier than working certain jobs, yet people do those jobs and combine it with marriage.

The bankers you gave as example are they single?

Don't you have females who work from 8-9 and still combine it with marriage? Or females who due to their job nature travel a lot?..

I have friends who successfully combined marriage and school. And there are people who find juggling work and marriage difficult. It's not a black and white situation.

sissie,
what are you talking about?

can u compare personally when yu were in school and now that yu are working>?

c`mon u have to be logical abeg

Dolly-Parton:


What the hell!!! A guy will look out if he wants to look out. And late child bearing makes u less fresh?? That's bullshitt!
And who told u, u can't be done bearing child by 30/35 even if u finished uni before starting?

Dolly P.
Yu can see the extent of reasoning of the so-called ladies that will marry at an early age.......so dumb!...no waste yur saliva abeg

ify84:

u must be a very reasonable girl... all ur contributions are wonderful ...its even better to finish giving birth to children at 30-35... den[b] look fresh for ur husband ever... he wont get time to look out[/b]...

looking fresh is just a minute reason to be considered,
looks doesnt stop a man from running outside, ATTITUDE does.

as a lady, yu look like a 16-year old with the following issues-
-nagging(top of the game)
-talkaative
-dirty
-doesnt do it well(bedroom) and not willing to learn and improve.
-unforgiving spirit
-unrealistic
-never contented............................etc

tell me wat kinda miracle will make him stick to u.

Sissie: People combine working and marriage, why not education and marriage?

work and marriage is not same, the fact is that they are way on different lanes.

at work no one fgives u assisgnments, no test, no exams that yu must do or fail'
at work yu are relatively independent and can speak for yurself
at work yu dont do so much that require concentration, commitment and lesss distractions,

do yu know u can have a slight issue with yur husband in de morning of yur exams and u will fail that course?

in school, u dont have a choice, u MUST do as the school authority says or yu fail.
in school, yu are just seen as a kid, please ask married bankers in banking operations in all these new generation banks, they will tell u how they wished for a better job.

yu need to learn the art of comparison....

byvan: She definitely has parents, if the guy flops on his promises,parents takes over,except in cases where the guy was previously the guardian because parents can't pay the school fees.

Everyone can't be the same anyway,multitasking is just my thing,i just love to do so many things with minimal time. I rather have a pot of rice on fire, clothes in the washing machine while sweeping,instead of just doing one thing at a time . Let's just stop this back and forth,we all have spoken from our various point of views,only OP knows what she wants . A 23yrs old is a full fledged adult,old enough to take any decision she wants.i only hope she is marrying for the right reasons and not for financial assistance ,that's all.

yu are just working hard to justify yur point of view which most people here doesnt buy.

yu multi-task bla bla bla , what are the circumstances that got yu into married life? societal, personal, family, circumstancial(finances), biological pressures or what?

my dear, let me ask u a question, if yu got married to yur man and yu tell him yu dont wanna get pregnant till after graduation?...c`mon grow up!, have u tot abt how he will feel couple with people talkin? its easier said than done but i bet yu, it can never be easy.

OP,
please think well before u take any decision, men can be psychologically affected when they have some person(wife or anyone) that is solely dependent on them, they can pay the bills for yu but my dear, it can never be like when u have yur own money.

CallmePROF: Don't rush into marriage....so that you won't rush out!.
If your education is really important to you, i'll advice you to slow down 'cos there is no way you can cope academically after your marriage..... besides "No man wants a liability as wife".....[color=#990000][/color]
Think very well so that you won't make a decision that you'll regret for the rest of your life...

God bless You

god_of_music: This was what Aunty Ngozi said when she was 23...now she's 37 and she don dey chyke men! Hmmmmmmm

have u looked at your 23year old sister?

bros lets be factual, at 23, over 65% of our girls are not mature enough emotionally and psychologically for that great union called marriage.

Wu Zetian: Why would anyone want to get married at 23?

You are not even done with undergrad??! Oh well, if you are scared that he'll leave, maybe you should think about transferring to another school closer to your new home.

I still wonder,
i cant imagine a 23 year old in ma house...hmmmmmm

OP,
what worked for byvan may not work for yu, yu re certainly not ready for this psychologically and emotionaly.

Marriage is not a childs play. . . . look before u leap

i wish you the best

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misunderstanding is always the father of quarrel which in some cases turn to yelling,

@op,
i am a guy but i found that that if u really care abt your partner and yur happiness which i value a lot, try learn how to apologise. it has a way of solving isssues as quickly as possible.

you can as well keep quiet as she yells and at the end yu make her look stoopeed and after the session u act as if nothin happened,

@veave, arcbabe et al,
i believe yu ladies are quite young and really are feeling good abt your lives now, but let me tell u, knowing wen to apologise is a clearly a matured acts and not for kids.
now lets check, u have a guy, yu re dating him, he knows u in and out, and u guys seem ok, all of a sudden u mess up, u fail to apologise and he thinks yu are annoying and proud, he talks to a friend about it and dey condemn ur actions, my dear, that relationship is goimg( abeg who loose?)

believe it or not yu need him as much as he needs yu but the issue is that wen u fail to understand u need to apologise, u keep changing men and its not good for a lady as u will even drive away some cool guy that would ve been yur best.

please ladies, change yur mindset, guy have seen all abt ladies....no one if thinkin u re cheap or valueless, just be realist cos if u dont, age will teach u the hard way.

@vivianc,
as lastpage said earlier, avoid saying that "its over",
learn how to absord words, learn to forgive, learn to undertsand----i bet yu re not happi abt this, all de guys yu broke up with, some are married now and u are not, some met ladies who tolerate dem and make de best out of dem cos u did not.

decide on what u want and be patient.
forgiveness is a virtue,

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