₦airaland Forum

Goddys:
Please I need an advice of experienced peeps here.
A friend of mine working in Dubai wants to link me up with a factory job of 400k salary, and also I am due to partake in one year vocational training in Nigeria Law school that would enable me to practice as a lawyer in Nigeria.
Now I'm left in the dilemma of accepting his offer to link me up with the job or proceed to Nigeria Law School to qualify as a lawyer in Nigeria

Please what do I do?

How much does it cost to live in Dubai, I am sure it's more than $1200 per month

UNIXLover:
i just resumed here about four weeks ago. came in here with all my docs including medicals from Nigeria. and Police report. to be honest,I dont understand why CIC takes 14 weeks in naija. I have just started a masters program here and I dont know if i can Quit to move to Canada.

Bolofs contact me

osinbanjoisaliar:
www.saharareporters.com/2016/09/07/buhari-host-nigerian-newspaper-editors-friday

Tinubu's newspaper is now after Sai Baba!!!!

Mamacita007:
Its been a long time. hope you all are doing great. Well can anybody tell me where my brother in-law can write SAT n TOEFL in Enugu & the cost? Has anyone here gotten scholarship for undergraduate studies just by applying online? I've googled tire & cant find relevant information thats helpful for someone that just finished school. He's very brilliant. Thanks

Long time! Well you're googling the wrong key words if you haven't gotten an answer....

Talk to your mum, if she doesn't learn to forgive, God won't forgive her too....

You can't ask others for forgiveness and not forgive others.....

My advice, you guys should settle this. You're at a stage in life that you need more friends than enemies

obeuno:
Please a text from a man in shock and depressed, i stumbled into a what apps chat my wife had with a guy i take to be my wife's cousin, where my wife was describing the sex they had, and the guy asked her which one?( meaning that it's a regular thing) she told him the one they had in his bath room. etc. please permit me to end with this one.

Now advice, do i confront this guy who is equally married (a year marriage) or my wife?

please mature advice needed.

So your wife is not just cheating on you, she is having an affair.... Bro this decision is up to you but honestly I don't think she loves/ever loved you...... You're free to move on

obeuno:
Please an up date.

I confronted my Wife on these chat saga, and she said yes, that she intentional entered into chatting with the Cousin cos she observed, that i am suspicious of her and that it was a setup with the cousin in other to confirm that i am monitoring her phone!!!!!

Bro confirm their relationship, Nigerian women have been using this trick since 1909 ask DYT

Dyt:
I love you already

This is why I divorced you

Rexhenrex:
I Am Very Confused What Should I Do?


[b]For sometime now i have been trying to hide this problem of mine,but now i can't hide it any longer because its really getting out of hand i just had to muster courage to type this because a problem shared ,they say is Half solved.

whenever i see a girl i like i would want to get her and assure my self that i will date her and eventually marry her i will also tell my friends that once i get her am not going to date any other lady.but when the lady agrees to date me after highest a month i would get tired of her and break-up with her. the longest relationship i ever had was 2months and it made me feel bitter when i heard a guy saying he is in the 3rd year now with his g.f i was just wondering how he did that. its really not funny i told my bestie bout it and she said maybe its because am an introvert and its because i don't have sex with my g.f so it gets boring for me and currently am dating a girl but am getting bored again as usually and i really love this lady but i fear i will soon break-up with her again and i don't want this to happen...pls how can i enjoy a relationship without involving sex ??

Matured minds please its really important and perhaps others might benefit from your advice also.thanks![/b]

No guy/man calls his best friend bestie

Babztemmy:
I have being married for 5years and sadly I still dont feel so close to my husband. I got the bible says when two come together they become one. That is that become friends, right? But sadly it doesn't feel like it. My hubby is the kind that likes FULL time respect; greet me when you wake up in the morning, great me when I come back from work, (yes wives please greet your hubbys oo) am heading somewhere with this please dont judge me yet, don't go out without telling me, don't put your hands in my pocket, what are you looking for, don't talk .

While am talking (that is even understandable tho) many more I can't mention. Don't tap me on my shoulders if you want to talk to me, don't, don't, don't.

He also isn't romantic, he hates me been romantic around him, it gets him upset. Its been 4years plus and we still argue ALOT. I thought they said the first 3years is the time of misunderstandings but its 4years now and still nothing has really changed.

Sometimes i try to make him talk maybe am not doing something right, and he just always seems to find a fault. Either I don't have respect or I don't have respect or I don't obey him everything calls to respect. Well it's not like I don't respect him or I just wake up in the morning and start disrespecting him. No, it's always in the cause of an argument so while am trying to justify myself or win the case, the disrespect sorts of crops it's way in, but fews hours later you will see me back all over him, trying to make peace but by then I have lost all my worth. He is way closer to his mum and sister than even to me. He prefers to Share all his secrets with them than with me.

Last two weeks was like the saddest day of my life in this marriage journey. He bought a car for his mum, he didn't tell me, the car slept in the house over night I didn't know, on my way back from my outing I saw my hubby in a new car driving down with his mum, In amazement I came down to ask whose car it was and how come I was kept in the dark, then his mum said "it's my car didn't you know?" I felt like a stranger all over again. I called his mum on the phone few mins after I left the embarrasing scene to ask why her son didn't share the good news to me knowing fully well i'm not against him buying her a car. And she said my husband said i didn't greet my hubby the night before and also that morning. Yes I remeber not greeting him the night before cause we had little issue and i just thought to do small shakara, then my not greeting him that morning wasn't intentional, I even apologised immediately my husband cautioned me and I thought we were fine. But I guess we weren't. This is where friendship comes in marriage. No matter what your partner does( as long as it's not adultery or some other serious things I know some women can do.) I feel you should still be able to still give her the respect due. Abi I really wish out vind could grow stronger, it's bin 4years and my hubby doenst know my dress size, or shoe size or favorite artist or favourite food, my choice of music, my choice of anything, he hardly laughs at my joke, I can't tickle him or throw a pillow at him he will term it as lack of repect, I can't call him "ode"while joking he will say am rude, It's plenty ooo. I thought marriage was more you both becoming friends. Don't you think life is too short to be rigid ALL the time. My husband is very rigid it scares me alot if I would be able to go on for long.. I love him very much than anything in the world but he doesn't feel that way or that much for me. Not like he doesn't love me. But I think I love him more. So we are probably not on the same page. i want to be the one he can run to anyday anytime, share his secrets with, want to be the one that has the power to put the best smile on his face, but each time i try, i fail. WHY?? Is there still hope.

Anyone in the house who has testimonies of marriage getting better after 4years. Cause i feel if you fail the first 3years you may never get it right. Mhen ladies you got to get it RIGHT from the beginning to avoid stories..

What's the age difference between you and your husband?

Mztarstrechy:
Source: http://www.trezzyblog.com/2016/07/savemayowa-toyin-aimakhu-releases.html

So now it's Aramide that said claimed fraud... Nice disclaimer

He has finally done it.... I used to know him, used to stay in Akoka.... He had his clique of them those days....

Nonsense

tola400:
[img]http://1.bp..com/--SbDc3uxX9o/V5ZpIACGyBI/AAAAAAACGfA/LehrHyNG1yQ1lVkSU3qKpNLjVxVV7FLTQCLcB/s1600/kimp.jpg[/img]


Chief Timipre Sylva and his lovely wife Mrs Alayingi Sylva, at the Graduation of the Minister of State for Agriculture, Senator (Dr) Heinekin Lopkobiri withPhD, at the Leeds Beckett University, United Kingdom.

See More Photos below:

Source:http://www.flexygist.com/2016/07/25/photos-minister-of-state-for-agriculture-graduates-from-uk-university/

[img]http://4.bp..com/--0fAUSGu4ss/V5ZpM-HnuyI/AAAAAAACGfE/amBRWac9i8wUoKW0PkPmeQCQDmVKYO9qgCLcB/s1600/kimp1.jpg[/img]


[img]http://3.bp..com/-ZU_jAwDdWKM/V5ZpPtiHf6I/AAAAAAACGfM/bzsTdJiTan4Jejb-DgZB5JvSM0PjIRn_wCLcB/s1600/kimp3.jpg[/img]

Wait his name is Heineken? Like the beer

marvelck:
A lot of guys are fond of saying there are no good girls any more and yet guys are getting married every week. So, who are they getting married to? Is it not to girls. There are good girls. You just have to pray and hope to find one and marry.

Boys are managing nowadays

BrokenHeart2016:
Right now my heart is heavy, am in a state of confusion I don't know what to do.On saturday I received the shock of my life through a text message from my girlfriend stating that I should move on with my life that it is over between us, at first I thought I was dreaming because I just got up from bed at exactly 7am, I ignored the text thinking it was a mistake had to shower and get ready for work. The following day which happens to be on sunday I called her and She told me that she has think about it that I should move on with my life...its over!!! I asked her what have I done to deserve such a thing from her she was unable to justify her action.
O boy, my jaw drop e be like say dem use dagger pierced my heart have never experience such thing in my life, I do read it online about how girls break up with their partner with no reason I can't believe this is happening to me. This is a girl that I really care for we met during our National Diploma program in 2012, she will be graduating this year while am about to put in for my HND.
Am not boasting about what have done for her but I just want you guys to understand my plight, I help her financially during her two years of studies pay her school fees and other miscellaneous while am still hustling. During our five years of courtship have never thought of cheating her or dump her for no reason I always make sure she's comfortable because her parents has passed. Since saturday my life have never been the same because the tone of text msg always ring on my head, am so sad right now I can't think straight anymore my boss at work notice my mood today and ask me what's up with me I had to dodge the question....till now I always look at my phone hoping to see her call or text maybe she was joking with me, I really love her so much and I always express my love to her though am not financially bouyant at the moment but I always do everything in my capacity to ensure she is Ok....there was a time i use money meant for my handouts to buy her foodstuffs and all, have sacrifice a lot for her during our academic days I finished with Lower Credit while she has Upper Credit. I'm not jealous of her success but frankly speaking I make impact in her life in general, I do see her as the mother of my kids there are a lot of plan I have for her, we always discuss this all the time. Right now she school in osun state while am hustling here in oyo state but I always travel to visit her from time to time and shower her with a lot of gifts.
Pls I need your advise on how to move on with my life because right now the thing is affecting my life I can't think straight anymore or even sleep very well. Bashing is also allowed I just want u guys to talk sense into my head.

Sorry for my grammatical blunders

Bro, it's not my duty to tell you this but your ex is now someone's wife. She was getting married so had to break it off

larisoft:
So many new guys are getting into programming in Nigeria these days. Problem is; programming is a very wide field and it is shameful that people lump it all into one field that fits their prejudice depending on whom they are. Job descriptions are not helpful either. You see people demanding for 5 in one ALL THE TIME! This article, tries to discuss the different paths available to programmers, (as I perceive it) so that beginners can identify early on, which suits them, pursue it, and become good at it. Rather than stretching themselves thin, trying to master everything.

GUI Guy:
A graphics User interface programmer is important in every software team. Without him/her, your software will always look incomplete. Not only do they know how to use graphics tools like photoshop dexteriously, they also know where to put images, understand the process of making 9 patch images, and once you describe a software to them, they visualize how it will look…and visualize something beautiful too
Graphics programmers know html and css in and out. You may think you know these languages too, till you meet a graphics programmer. I once met a guy that wrote a page solely with HTML and css. The things this page was doing! No one would have believed javascript was absent on that page. Javascript and jquery are usually under their belt too.
Aside from the web, they have GUI technologies like Swing, Windows Forms/WPF, android xml e.t.c under their belt. All you need do is visualize it and they will bring it to pass.
The interview process for a graphics programmer should be VERY VERY DIFFERENT from other types of programmers. The competitions for graphics programmers are different too.

Hardware Guy:
This guy programs microcrontrollers and they dare not disobey. His toolset includes C and assembly and raspberry spi etc. This guy knows his platforms in and out. He knows the tiny differences between Windows machines and Linux machines. He shies away from high level langauges and stops at C++.

The interview questions for this guy should be clearly different too as he will be best suited for server administration duties..

Technology Guru:
I see a lot of them on nairaland programming section. They know about 13 languages, know enough graphics design to get by with templates, know and code on several platforms. This type of programmer is very productive.

They know several ready-made technologies. That is their strength. Once you ask them to foray into virgin fields, they flop. For instance, they know how to use the internal sort function in their languages of choice. But can they implement it? They understand arraylists well but can they create one on their own?

The technology guy has too keep learning as his relevance is tied to his toolset which is always changing.

There is nothing wrong with being a technology guy. In fact, most business will do great with just these category of programmers. But this is the reason why many African coders will never get employed at google. They are great coders. But core-tech companies like google do not need technology-conversant guys. They need guys that will define the next generation of technologies which brings us to the next category.

Competitions for this category of programmers should be different than that of other types of programmers.

Algorithms Guy:
This guy’s way of thinking is greatly different from every other person’s way of thinking. Given a set of problems, they examine them, run through them in their computer brain, and churn out answers that work, then they go on to recreate the process using code.

These guys are usually very good with mathematics too. Their skills are language agnostic. They may even work with only one language.

Algorithm guys are never out of employment. All they have to do is head out to topcoder.com, establish a reputation, and WALAA! top notch tech companies are after them!

Algorithm guys do not need to be constantly under fire to learn new languages. Many coding competitions are based only on determining who is best at algorithms but this is not fair. You cannot expect a GUI guy to beat an algorithms guy at his own game. No one ever compares the GUI of an algorithm’s guy to the UI of a GUI guy.

Most software designed exclusively by algorithm guy’s are usually console based, or have shitty GUIs.


Games Guy: For some reason, everybody seems to understand that these guys are different from other programmers. No one ever mentions it, but the demarcation is there. I wonder why?
Anyway, these guys do what their name suggest:…make games. They work with Unity and other game engines. The advanced ones amongst them know a lot of math and can inplement their own game engines.

A Games Guy will beat you hands down any time the competition is about fluid graphics or simulation.

In conclusion, these groups of programmers are all talented and respectable. Lets stop mixing them up and making some people feel deficient while they are actually good at what they do.

Have i excluded or mixed up certain categories? I will love to know what senior devs in here think via comments please!

source : http://larisoftng..com.ng/2016/05/categories-of-programmers-by-areas-of.html

Totally wrong, especially the nomenclatures (only got hardware)...

Front-End, Back-End, DevOps, Data scientist, Architects, Hardware, Systems (Kernel/Driver), Database, Big-Data, Mobile (Android and iOS), Graphics and many more.

butanep:
Good morning Nairalanders.

I know this forum has been providing vital solutions to problems from time immemorial hence the need to pour-out my worries on this forum to get solutions become inevitable.

I was preparing for the final between Portugal and France yesterday when my girlfriend called me she will be coming, that I should be at home by 5pm. I was like why today of all day now! I told her I won't be around that I will be going to my parents place that evening. She began to act cold via the phone and later told me she will come let's go together. I haven't even seen your parents one on one she said... I was like which kind stubborn babe is this... I replied let's see about it but it will be better we make it another day. Don't worry today is the perfect day she said and cut the calls.

I tried calling no answer. This babe has come again because she don't like hearing football. We have had issues on this football matter severally but I told her she can't dictate what I will do or not, that I started watching football before I meet her. She first stop me from playing my soccer game when she is around. my friend have to call me when coming during the weekend to play games if she is around or not. I had to stop doing it when she is around to avoid problems.


Fast-forward... She came few minutes to 5pm. She was looking superb, probably to impress my parents. The desire for romance and sex came but I have to rebuked it because if it start, then my match is cancelled. How do I tell her I ve changed my mind from seeing my parents to watching football she never like or want to hear when she is around. We talk and talk till about few minutes to 8. She observed I wasn't coming closer to her as usual. She was like, a you expecting another woman. I smiled...

Then I busted it. Baby lets go and watch match. This one is very interesting. It's a final match. Ohhh match again. Aren't you going to your parents place again? I said my mum called to tell me she won't be around. She became relaxed. Please cancel the match... I want to cook something, you need to assist me. I was like baby am not hungry. I ve eaten. I am watching my food intake this period. She said that's my own, she wants to cook and I should be with her. The hatred against her started again. I said if you don't want to follow me to watch the match, eat your food alone. You can't stop me this time. Even my mother can't stop me from watching this final.

I left the kitchen. I called a friend to reserve a seat for me. She was frowning bitterly . I have made up my mind already. Few minutes after Ronaldo was brough -down, I received a text from her. " Dear so your match is more important than me" you can forgo me just because of match you can still watch later...it's a pity you don't love me. All I was thinking is how Ronaldo will come back again. I didn't give the message a second thought.


After the match. I was so happy Portugal won after the heat from France. That is when I read her message again. I quickly ran home. It was almost 11:30pm. She has slept. I send her a romantic message and told her am sorry about it but she should try to let me enjoy my football.

She woke up this morning. She was still frowning that I abandoned her for common football. I try to make her understand how important and interesting the match is to me. She left in anger and said I should either choose my football or her. That when I have made up my mind, I should let her know.


Though decision for me to make. I am not scared of loosing her anyway but I don't want us to break-up just like that... I'm not ready to drop sports again because of her. I told myself the sacrifices is too much, maybe I have to let her go... I have made up my mind not to call her.


Nairalanders what do you think on this issue? Matured advised only...

All I will say is be careful, your girl lacks understanding.... If she can't allow you enjoy the little things you love now, imagine a lifetime with her

tayooluwole:
I have heard many cases of God's word preachers who have been killed, slaughtered and brutally mutilated while preaching or on other duties in respect to biblical God's commandment. Many were burnt alive while withing the church premises praying and praising God, many captured and were easily slaughtered, many were captured within their own house, raped and eventually killed and many more cases like that.

Seriously, all these occurrences left me with one critical question that has been dominating my mind for years, that why would God keep silent while such horrific murder is being unleashed on his consistent servant ? Why can't God, weather spiritually or physically, prevent such tragedy, to at least encourage other worshipers and consolidate the believe that God is truly mighty as it is being claimed. Preventing such tragedy, to me, has the efficacy of preventing many people from waking up one day and start thinking at all weather God exist or not.
Should we say our so called popular pastors, knows that there is no divine assistance they can enjoy while facing assassinating temptation and that is why most of them move all around with sophisticated security outfit...

I beg, rational whosiper should come to my rescue in answering this question ooo...

Same reason God allowed His son to be crucified on the cross

onyekaegbo:
I'm roughly 2-3 months away from rounding off my NYSC programme and I just got a job with a telecomm firm and they resolved to paying 60k per month (after tax). Now I'm at a crossroad because I was aiming for something higher than this. This really has nothing to do with pride as some people might assume, just that I'm somewhat disturbed that the sum is not 'okay' enough, considering the harsh realities confronting the economy presently. I'm expected to start soon and I'm so confused, whether to accept or reject the offer.

What's the position you're offered? That will determine if 60K is too small

DevGuru:
UPDATE!!!

I must confess that Nairaland is a wonderful online community. In these trying times of mine, the only thing that has kept my head intact is the company I have here reading all comments. I would have revealed much more information about us especially for the sake of those who have expressed their doubts about the veracity of my story, but I can't, because I wouldn't want to provide some pointers for anyone on this forum who might know any of my wife's relatives or mine. Although I got several diverse opinions, all comments still depicted the kindness in the the hearts of the commenters. Even those who called me stupid for not being too hard on my wife did so because they feared I could lose my life - a high level of kindness which I appreciate a lot. Even the opinions I did not follow on this thread still served a purpose of enlarging the pool of options from which I was able to make a choice. I expect much more expressions of disappointment towards my folly (if deciding not to go for a divorce for the sake of my child, the unborn and the fact that my faith forbids me from marrying another woman if I choose not to live with her anymore).

On the morning following my last update, my wife's depression continued but I tried to act like a loving husband towards her. I could read in her face that the more I tried to be kind towards her, the greater the emotional torment she passed through because she found it hard to believe that I could forgive her. Maybe she even thought I was planning a brutal revenge, but this time, not against her alone but against her sisters. She could not imagine the extent of my actions if I was to execute her thoughts. In the evening, as we were having dinner, she started talking softly to me while looking at the food on the table. I had to tell her to speak louder because it was like she was talking to the food. Then she voiced out as tears rolled down her cheeks saying "I've informed all my siblings about our conversations that got leaked to you and they are not talking to me again". I asked her why they were not talking to her and she said they all must have been confused and I understood that to be because they did not know what my next move would be. Married adults of ages between 35 - 45 were running helter-skelter because they had just ruined their sister's marriage. Their ONLY hope was in my forgiveness. The Lord had suddenly delivered my 'enemies' into my hands and if I chose to wield my sword, they might have to relocate away from their home town because the extended family would know the shameful story that threw their last born out of marriage. I told my wife that seeing her crying for the misery of her sisters was annoying to me as it meant she was further betraying our home. Then I picked her phone on the dinning table to check whether the records were still there... lo and behold... everything was gone. Even the app itself had been uninstalled. I smiled and asked her why she cleared the calls and the app, she replied (crying further) "I just can't listen to the evil voices of myself and my sisters". I smiled again and asked "What about the app? You don't want me to ever hear anything again? She replied "No, I just wished to clear everything that could bring bring back the memory". Then I opened my laptop and navigated to a folder where I had copied all the conversations. I played one and she was shocked to hear it even louder than it was on the the phone. Her fears had just been confirmed... "Why was he pretending that he had forgiven me..." - just my own thought anyways. But truly, I had forgiven her, I was just trying to follow some wise counsel from Nairaland. She couldn't wait till the end, she left me with the food and walked to the bedroom. I slept on the living room couch that night.

The following morning, I continued to read comments on this thread and remembered I was sitting on a time bomb by keeping the whole thing to myself. I went to have my bath and told her I was going out. She was surprised because it was a public holiday. I was already on the road when I called my father that I needed to see him urgently. Luckily for me, he was at home, so I went straight to him and explained all that had happened to him while I played some 'music'. He praised me for taking the matter to him first because he knows we are all closer to mum and revealing such an issue to mum would mean an end - or at most, the beginning of the end. My dad respects my wife's parents a lot and would not like me to take them to their knees on this issue. He spoke with me at length. He said my wife was a good lady but the reason she was so vulnerable was because of her position in the family and that the sisters weren't so lucky this time. He advised me to get closer to my wife so that a natural distance could evolve between her and her sisters. He then begged me never tell my wife that I had revealed the matter to any of my family members because that would be a strong way for me to prove my love to her which she would ever live to appreciate. After all talks, he asked me to call one of my wife's sisters' husbands right in his presence because he knew they (the husbands) must have been told a 'padded' story. I first used the FCMB Mobile App on my phone to load N3,000 before making the call. At the start, he was cold with me on the phone as if a rival was trying to ask for his girlfriend's best food. Later, he admitted that he was aware of all that happened and started all those Yoruba elders' talk... how he had never raised his hand to beat his wife, how he would always walk out, how he and his wife prayed together... bla bla bla. Then I told him I was going to terminate the call and forward some files to him on Whatsapp. I simply picked two of his own wife's conversation with my wife and forwarded to him, expecting him to call back. After about 30 minutes, my Dad told me to call back. I called twice before he answered. He became cold again and couldn't say anything but that his wife would call me soon. After about 1 hour and nothing happened, I had to leave, but my dad told me to carry him along. When I got home, I walked to the bedroom and met my wife on the phone but I did not know who she was speaking with. I returned to the living room and continued reading from my myriad of advisers on this thread.

Then the call came in. It was my wife's sister's voice (not the eldest one)... begging me to forgive and try to forget. She sounded like she was outdoors under the influence of some heavy downpour. I can't express the feeling at that moment but the only thing that I remembered was Proverbs 16:7. (apologies to the wonderful Muslims on this thread...). Even though she didn't believe me, I forgave her. Then the husband collected the phone from her and spoke with me at length... apologising on behalf of the entire family. The major point he kept re-iterating was that I should not let my people know...

All the while, several other simultaneous calls were on. My wife's family members were calling one another while some also called my wife to know the extent of what I got hold of. Interestingly, the first born (who advised my wife to keep a separate account) had also been hinted and had run to their parents to open up to them. She could imagine the level of shame that was coming to her - A PhD holder who is the family's Senior Adviser on every issue. Her parents called her husband to join them immediately as he was their only front soldier who could speak to me. Suddenly, the first born's husband's call came in. He pleaded that he would not like us to revisit the ugly situation but that I was the only one that could save the entire family from the mess by forgiving everyone. He stated that he had been told everything that was done to me and he would like me to honour him and reverse my war order - this was when I confirmed that they had been speaking to my wife. He showered prayers on me while I remained aggressive in my AMEN responses (as if to let them know I was neutralising their spells on me). He promised to call my wife and warn her never to discuss her family issues again with any of her sisters. He also begged me severally never to reveal it to my people as it would mean a reversal to the beginning. Although he didn't give me the impression that my wife's parents were with him - my wife told me this later...

At night, my wife came to kneel down by my side to make her own pleading. I was very glad because the whole ambience was like the clear sky devoid of any cloudy covering after a thunderous rain. I spoke softly to her and began to re-iterate my ideals to her - it was a good preaching time for me. Now everyone (including my wife) is praying that I do not decide to spill the whole thing out one day. My wife's eldest sister later called me that night to directly tender her own apology - at a time she had confirmed I wasn't going to be hostile anymore.

For me, I believe there's so much left for me to do on my wife. For anyone who has followed the recent events of my life which could have ended in a tragedy but for God's intervention and would love to give me some helpful ideas as I move forward, kindly drop your comments. I'll be very glad to read them.

Cc: ezechueze, Mafking, AccidentalGenius, RadicallyBlunt, ojun50, GoldenJAT, olempe, LuveU2, goldbim, phabulous88, pharmagba, 2goodbobo, PezzoNovante, marvelous000, Tritri, IRserveMyComent, AlienStar, STENON, krak101, AccidentalGenius, danduchi, samsam2019, uchedydy, Ruemufaith, sashishalom, ednut1, bakynes, sumborr, general111, byvan03, obiak4, Eketem, obiak4, emekachimek, elektra, priceaction, segzy0i, MizzD, richyfunky, bellong, nnamdibig, Timbuktou, TheArchangel, tearoses, andromida, HaneefahRN, TV01, Amelian, WellEndowed, Jethrolite, baeboo, trishapal, drss, Donemmy, Ujoan, pcguru1, Tochex101, pastorpussy, crackhaus, ranktzy, cococandy, mysticgal, toksbisola, Okikiki, succourplanet, Darla, ummeey, kaboninc, BiggyB242, Ishilove, mac04, mysticgal, ummeey, kaboninc, BiggyB242, yetseyi, Spydamannn, YourCoffin, peeparty, fem29, Pyno30, mylove4him, Petroking, ISpiksDaTroof, Elebiju, rosy1992, babayega, repogirl, jajainall, Contact17, packagerz, tete7000, MrD2, Taryur3, ahahnow, saintdennis, Marvel1206, olaarie, DICKtator, Insel, Wealthy15, DeRay98, Freeezzz, igbsam, danduchi, freecocoa, dissybling, CoCoLav, Ioannes, ify84, Almajiri1, Beey, emyreal1010, laikas, greatwhite, Biographyroom, FxDuke, Irishrena1, Totfulguy, Lescalier, freedomm, chronique, LUV1, buksaylor001, papinx, toye440, lovaleenny, 0ubenji, ekeroyal, teemy, goodgate, Luckygurl, compujyde, DonX001, yoged, meetdavid, teemy, newecop, solobenzo, Tunechi1, amacastel, luckyehis, igbsam, vicchi12, frozenSun, sweatlana, taemilola, DonX001, Totfulguy, luisina, Fawklicant, Silvofitz, binarykid, keke87, oyetpel, saasala, Mskrisx, Exlusive, borngeologist, ohynedar, Leorichy, Seamareggae, ephi123, NifemiOlu, uplawal, WellEndowed, princeakins, Ronke001, sexy74, vicadex07, mirob, Elle277, tianshie, mylove4him, Chriso2, Seamareggae, dacillin, bj4jesus, pastorpussy, Themandator

I strongly believe in forgiving people and I appreciate brave men like you who decide to do it in such a difficult scenario. I have only one rule when forgiving and I advise you to apply the same; ask them why they did all these (not it was the devil answer) and if they can't give you a genuine reason, don't forgive..... I have been there, it's better to know what sparked all these....

Lots of people ask for forgiveness without explaining or changing their rationality and end up going back to the same sin.

DevGuru:
UPDATE

I sincerely appreciate the fact that almost everyone here regards this matter a very serious one, this alone warms my heart a little. I have read through every single comment on this thread and I appreciate everyone. I couldn't take down the names of those whose comments aligned with my aim of keeping my marriage, but I thank everyone all the same. I realised from a myriad of comments that informing my people will mean a beginning of the end for my marriage. My daughter too is a major consideration. Above all, she's carrying another 6 week pregnancy. I have therefore decided to eliminate (or maybe suspend as the case turns out) informing any of my family members. I decided to play the records to her while I added some words. I started by telling her that my love for her made me decide to talk to her and not to anyone who would possibly fuel separation in my home like her sisters have done. She was shocked because she had never heard any allegation from me towards her elder ones before. She thought I was crazy and I wanted to bring up what was not. Then I played a little while I summarised the wildest words from her sisters which I heard in other discussion. For the FIRST time, my wife couldn't deny ANYTHING as she was convinced beyond doubt that she had been finished. She cried bitterly as I talked further but did not know what to do. But what pained me further was that it was obvious she cried because she saw that I was going to turn to an emperor and ridicule and justifiably disgrace her elderly advisers, NOT really because I was betrayed.

Right there, I was looking for a particular one to play and then even heard what I didn't hear before. Her eldest sister said she had discussed with some other siblings to intensify efforts towards her job search that as soon as she gets a job, she would have to be sending money home for them to create something for her in their town so she could come settle. She cried further as she heard it too. I told her the implications of what she had done to me with her people and then left her in the room because my baby girl was disturbing me. Anytime our voices are not friendly, she interrupts and cries for attention. I took my daughter to the living room and was playing with her.

After about 1 hour, she came to the living room and fell down before me as she cried further, saying "I'm sorry". Then I asked her to state exactly what she was begging me for - her betrayal or her siblings' offence. She knows me very well, she quickly said her betrayal (even though I knew that wasn't the primary cause of her heavy heart). Then I told her I was willing to forgive her in the spirit of upholding my marital vows to her. I explained further that for the sake of our daughter and the unborn one(s), I was willing to forgive her and build a stronger home with her. She felt a little relief knowing that she was getting back into me. I then said "but from this minute, I'm in a ruthless war with anyone, I repeat, ANYONE who is determined to break my home as I now have to guard our togetherness jealously". I stated further that the only thing I would hold against her was if she ever stood in my way. Just as if a thunder just struck and killed someone dear to her, she cried loudly again saying "she had finished her life". She said she would be the one to suffer in the war I just declared and that I should just allow her to call all of them and tell them never to meddle into our affairs again. I refused to fall for that trick and held my stance that my resolve was not going to change and I walked away. Since then till this moment, she has been like a mourning widow. When it was time for food, we ate together as usual and I've been the one trying to talk now. She hasn't spoken with anyone on phone since then, although I don't know about Whatsapp or BBM chat. Now she's waiting for the next available opportunity when she could plead for her sisters again... only God knows for how long the waiting would be. Let me quickly mention that she sent me an SMS from the bedroom a while ago: I CAN SEE THE HANDWORK OF THE DEVIL IN THIS WHOLE MATTER, PLS LET'S TRY TO RESIST THE DEVIL THIS TIME SO HE CAN FLEE FROM OUR HOME. I BEG YOU IN THE NAME OF GOD DEAR".... I simply replied from the living room: "ON THE CONTRARY HONEY, I CAN SEE THE HAND OF GOD. CAN'T YOU SEE IT?"

On another note, I do not want to assume that she will not tell her sisters, although it might take a while because she knew they would rebuke her for delivering them into the hands of their 'enemy' through Call Recorder. But before she informs them, I think I'd follow someone's advice here too that I should reveal it to someone who could keep it away from my mum and sisters, which is surely my Dad - just to put someone in the know, in case I begin to smell rat poison in my food... lol. What do you think?

Cc: ezechueze, Mafking, AccidentalGenius, RadicallyBlunt, ojun50, GoldenJAT, olempe, LuveU2, goldbim, phabulous88, pharmagba, 2goodbobo, PezzoNovante, marvelous000, Tritri, IRserveMyComent, AlienStar, STENON, krak101, AccidentalGenius, danduchi, samsam2019, uchedydy, Ruemufaith, sashishalom, ednut1, bakynes, sumborr, general111, byvan03, obiak4, Eketem, obiak4, emekachimek, elektra, priceaction, segzy0i, MizzD, richyfunky, bellong, nnamdibig, Timbuktou, TheArchangel, tearoses, andromida, HaneefahRN, TV01, Amelian, WellEndowed, Jethrolite, baeboo, trishapal, drss, Donemmy, Ujoan, pcguru1, Tochex101, pastorpussy, crackhaus, ranktzy, cococandy, mysticgal, toksbisola, Okikiki, succourplanet, Darla, ummeey, kaboninc, BiggyB242, Ishilove

Sorry bro for all these, but you have to be wise. Tell your family or at least a friend. If they kill you today, no one will know the truth..... My advise would have been leave the marriage but since you wanna give it a second try; be vigilant, careful and wise.

iamDiabolic:
Am not an atheist, though most people see me as thiest (but not a religious one though) just attending church for the sake of attending,but deep in my mind am an agnostic.but with kinda things I go through might end up being an atheist, because I don't even feel the if any God exist, cause I have not even felt him before, I watch people catch holy ghost and testifying to seeing angels but not even have I had a dream bout one before. We just have to keep worshiping though we shouldn't believe what we can see,but we worship him due to fear of the unknown.

Sometimes I even pray that if he exist he should show at least show himself in a dream or through a pastor,but he still never show himself to me,he doesn't have any message for me,damn who TF is he,we should keep worshipping him cause he we were told fairytale about one stupid hell they keep threatening us with.

Me and my friends once attended a night vigil,when the pastor was touching all of them head they kept falling (in my mind I was laughing at their funny charade), when it got to my time I didn't fall, I didn't even move back as he was trying to force me to maybe fall, since then i no attend the yeye church.

What am trying to drive at is am beginning to doubt the existence of God and if he doesn't show himself to me one of this days, then I might graduate into an atheist. Mind you oh yea preachers and gullible ones I don't need your preaching and bible verses. I have heard enough of that.

I have never seen God nor His angels; never seen either of Them in my dreams but I have felt His power and goodness.... That's all I needed to know He is here with me....

You don't go to church to praise Him but you want Him to be active in your life and visit you.... Come on, a girl that doesn't love you but only uses you to recharge her phone (and you know about this), will you continue being her mugu? Change your mindset and you will believe and even see Him

Since May, you're stale

Funkybabee:
These are the facts about men character, ladies of nowadays should beware don't let them keep teasing you again.




1 they can never love one girl/ladies
2 love sex more than love
3 talented In lying
4 talk softly while conning a lady
5 heart breakers
6 can promise girl heaven and earth
7 fear pregnancy but hate protected sex

no bash pls and ladies can add to it

Ma binu, who broke your heart?

I thought there was an earlier thread that Buhari's govt had caused them to lift the ban. So it was a lie

CProf:
Seriously

Yes seriously....

Plus it depends on which City your school is in too

If it's a place where living costs is cheap then you're extra lucky

CProf:
Good day nairalanders,
I need your advice and help on what to do because I am totally confused.
I am 23, holds a Bsc from a Nigerian university.
I recently got into a masters program in the US with full tuition waiver and a generous monthly stipend that would cater for my living expenses. I already have my particulars to apply for my F1 student visa but I'm scared because of the uncertainty that lies ahead; also the exchange rate is not helping matters
I am sure I would get the visa but as I'm talking, I only have 100k left on me because I spent a lot during the application processes.
I can huzzle and get my flight fee because I still have 2 months to resumption.
Now, my headache is that I would still need up to $2000(roughly #700,000) to survive for the first month, pay health insurance and other small fees before I start receiving my monthly stipend of $1500.
School resumes August 14, what should I do?
Tried taking up loan from the bank but didn't work out.
I am confused at the moment.
Should I go ahead and get the flight fee, get to US with almost no amount except God provides an helper?
Or should I just forget about my America dream
I have exhausted all my options, God help me.
Please advice a brother.

N.B
My parents are old pensioners that only God knows when the government would answer them.



I am at a crucial point in my life.
Thanks

Na mansion you wan rent in your first month.... Bro you don't need that much, in my first month I spent less than 500.... Plus most schools allow you pay instalmentally for fees including insurance.... You have 3 months to hustle your ticket and $1,000.00.

Bro you can make it if you're serious

pcguru1:
Could be the stress of PHD or she might just want personal time, during my time in school , I switched off my devices because I really wanted no calls and just alone time, maybe you need to take your attention, at 32 I sincerely doubt she's gonna start playing games.

Remi, you underestimate naija girls sha

AjayiWrites:
http://encomium.ng/jide-kosoko-cries-this-is-the-third-wife-lve-lost-what-will-people-say/

Chemist is not in Bariga but Akoka.... No make we vex for una

I am in USA, I don't need to read any article.... I know what people go through here..... Plus the "myth" wasn't about Nigerians in USA but UK

Adaure4ever:
85% of Guys do it.
Psychologically, Men are egoistic being, so bragging about sex exploits boost their ego.

100% of women assume things and jump into conclusion

gretblue:
It was televised live on CNN few hours ago.

I'm extremely surprised..... First time in 5 cases.... Maybe they saw my comment

But it couldn't have been live because according to the news I read, this happened last week.... But I still commend them for at least showing it

No major news will carry this

How much does APC pay these people abeg?