₦airaland Forum

knuckbuck:
God o, come to our rescue

Nigerians are even tired of waiting for God.

If you have a brand new Dell Inspiron 14z, Model N411z laptop screen, let me know.

Let me know the price too.
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ovieigho:
Nice writeup but sorry it won't hit the front page because of your positive stance on mmm

cc: Lalasticlala, mynd44

Nigeria is a crazy place to be as you all might have known by now. Nigerians have so gotten used to crazy events on a daily basis that nothing surprises them anymore. Those familiar with the Batman franchise will agree that Nigeria can be likened to Gotham city. The following are some of the insane things happening right now. Some, fearful.

10. We Might Have Voted-In A Dictator
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The military regime of President Muhammadu Buhari which lasted for two years, 1983-1985, still leaves a sour taste on the lips of those who witnessed his reign.

It was termed a political propaganda when the opposition party and well-meaning Nigerians tried to warn against voting in a dictator, an enemy of democracy. However, happenings like - the government's disregard for court rulings, the commando-style invasion of judges homes and their arrest, attacks on peaceful protesters, the alleged Shia massacre, unlawful, shameful arrests of journalists, the intimidation of Nigerians trying to protest against bad governance come Feb 6th - is giving Nigerians a hard time deciding if they're in a democratic or Military regime.

9. University Degree Becoming Worthless
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Gone are the days when going to the university and graduating with a degree exuded great pride and stood as a symbol of a better life. Unemployment continues to be on the rise, many employers tagging the bulk of Nigerian graduates unemployable. Let's assume they are employable, where are the jobs?

The recent surge in entrepreneurship is proof that more and more graduates are dumping their certificates, acknowledging the painful reality that 4,5-6 years of their life might have been wasted in an effortless pursuit. N-power -the government's recent response to tackling unemployment - and the number that applied within 36hours simply shows that University Degrees are becoming even more and more worthless if one will settle for 30,000 naira and a tab after spending 4-5years grinding hard in our wicked, life-zapping educational sector.

8. The Crazy, Do or Die Fight Against MMM
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The slow, decietful, painful-to-watch fight every single administration since time immemorial has put-up against corruption might have brain-washed Nigerians into thinking we as a people, and the Government cannot successfully fight against any form of evil, not until MMM came - a ponzi scheme promising 30% increase on every donation.

I watched how the Government, so- called well meaning Nigerians who didn't invested one single kobo in the scheme, media outlets, and big websites formed a formidable team of Spartans who would stop at nothing but deliver their people from the claws of Mavrodi. Anyone with a mobile phone, Tv-set, radio or any source of receiving information will testify that this was one hell of an intense, crazy fight. It was literally in our faces. It was the biggest, most successful fight in the history of Nigeria.

Apparently, it turns out corruption, kidnapping, police and army brutality, the government refusing to pay our aged parents pension are issues not as important as the evil MMM which ironically, though has faults, is the far lesser evil, having helped a few.


7. You, Me, The Entire Population - A Generation of Cowards
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The incessant complains and wailing of aggrieved Nigerians that continues to clog the webspace every single day is proof that we know how to do only one thing best...... complain complain and complain.

Shake your head, sigh deeply and say "this country don tire me" and watch everybody in the cramped-up taxi ramble-on violently about corruption and bad governance that has plagued us since the inception of Nigeria.

The fact that never in our history as a people have we ever come together in unity to say no oppression, corruption and bad governance proves we, me, you, are nothing but a generation of blabbing cowards.

I was pissed at Tu-face, how dare he betray the cause? But I looked in the mirror, and saw a reflection staring back that reminded me that we all - you, me and Tu-face are a generation of "run-mouth,-no-action" cowards.

6. Garri No Longer For The Poor
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"In a land of myth, and a time of magic, the destiny of a great Kingdom lies on the shoulders of a young boy". Sounds familiar right? Well, substitute myth for suffering, magic for hunger, and the young boy in question becomes Garri not Merlin. However, the super-man of the poor, the go-to guy of the low income earners, the Merlin of Camelot is currently being parried away from the reaching fingers of the poor.... day after day.

A paint rubber which not too long ago sold for 350 naira now sells for 800naira - a128.5% increase. What's even more troubling is the fact while prices of food items like Garri keeps increasing, the people who need them the most simply have no money to buy them. To add insult upon injury, Garri has no close substitute. So I ask; what will the poor feed on when the cheapest commodity they can fall back to is taken way from them?

I sincerely hope something is done about this soonest, cos the current situation, is clearly a case of water don pass garri... pun not intended.

5. Ponzi Schemes Are Here To Stay
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Before the recession-driven suffering and hardship hit our airwaves the number of Nigerians who would even risk giving audience to ponzi scheme promoters, not to mention participating in one, could be estimated to be around 0.001% of the entire population.

However, things took a U-turn when the recession started knocking on doors nationwide. People began to look for alternative means to survive, and ponzi schemes provided not only that but more; an extra opportunity to make quick, raw, cool cash.

The federal government in collaboration with the media put in tireless efforts to scare the masses but their resolve proved too tough a shell to crack. It was too late, Nigerians had already tasted the forbidden fruit.
The recent, well publicised crash crash of MMM was meant to serve as a lesson, but dogged Nigerians - including those who were victims - continue to participate in new schemes that keep popping up day by day. They are fully aware of the risks involved, proving that ponzi schemes are here to stay.. at least for now.

4. No Plan To Rescue Economy From Recession
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Nigerians continue to suffer day in day out, the hardship worsening with each break of a new dawn than the night before. When the receasion started, many thought it was only a phase meant to last for a brief period, a necessary, yet unavoidable cleansing process we had to undergo to purge the economy from diarrhoea of the previous administration, but here we are, three centuries later, still recessing even deeper.

A dollar is about 500naira now and it keeps increasing everyday, prices of food items keep skyrocketing, we are on the brink of chaos yet the government has no laid-down blue print to rescue the economy. The important question now is - how close are we to the elastic limit?

3. The Masses Want The President Dead
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Nigerians have really endured alot and passed through hell throughout time immemorial. Our ability to adapt and make jokes in the face of hardship recounts a tale of how a group of people have evolved over time to cheerfully adapt to hardship and suffering. Our mantra, "suffering and smiling", gives a sneak-peek into dark parts of our history better forgotten than retold.

So what's happening? Why are we no longer making funny jokes, but dry, expensive ones - like wishing our president death?

The recent rumor of his death that spread all-over the web like chicken pox in just a little amount of time echoed the silent wishes of majority; the masses want the President dead. And since wishing someone dead is universally regarded the highest form of hatred... a.k.a the holy-grail of hatred, it's safe to say we are indeed living in troubling times.

2. A Deadly War Silently On The Rise
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The havoc boko-haram has wrecked on our dear country will look like child's play compared to what's to come if we don't act fast, and NOOOWWW!

Fulani herdsmen have been on rampage lately, slaughtering innocent Nigerians for absolutely no reason. The President has shockingly turned a blind eye to the killings, further fueling speculations that he supports the cause of his people, the fulanis. Feeling neglected in the face of terror, few communities took matters into their own hands by retaliating; well.... we all know how it ended.

In a time where the country is seriously divided on religious lines more than ever, the last thing we need is one group deliberately testing the patience of the other. Pastors are beginning to call their members to action. The Government continues to show it's bias towards one side from the recent arrests. Priests are now weilding arms. Christians are feeling persecuted.

Push a goat too far and watch the cute, little domestic animal transform into a monster. We are on the brink of chaos.

1. Is The President Dead Or......?
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When the president left the country ,19th January, on vacation to the UK, Nigerians were left confused and amused, "Who goes on vacation in January? Especially during hardship and suffering we needed his presence the most. It wasn't too long before rumours started spreading about his critical state of health being the sole reason behind his so-called vacation. Buhari, being no stranger to illness and health- related voyages to the UK in the past, left the masses with no other option than believe the rumour. The silence of his close aides didn't help matters either.

The pinnacle of his health controversy was reached however, when the news of his death began spreading like wild fire, the words " is buhari dead" becoming the most search phrase on Google.

His Special adviser on media and publicity has since come out to debunk the rumour, but Nigerians are still asking questions; is he dead or alive? . It's so crazy that though I wish the President good health, I cannot swear at gun-point that the President is alive... or dead either.

source: ksslib

This Miya-nyanshi boy has gotta be hands-down one of the mumuest, most mumuish, zwor-zworistic boy to ever grace the Big brother show, only rivalled by of course- the mother of every single mumu on the surface of the earth, GIFTY.

He wasn't disappointed that his grand-mother, Tboss nominated him because it's just a game... BUT they are friends who have known each-other even before the show.

The mumu doesn't even know what friendship means yet he wants to win raw 25million naira and a brand new SUV in this recession?

Somebody should please give that iddiot a dirty slap, 200naira and a brand new keke napep. Nonsense .

..

..

You outlined not just one, two, or three reasons why OAU is the "so-called" best university in Nigeria, but a whooping TEN, yet none of them, as far as I can see, gave any convincing reason why OAU shouldn't be classified a "garbage" school like the rest littered all over the country.

Even if this was a case of a one-eyed man being king in a village full of blinded people, OAU still can't be considered that "one-eyed" king, I am sorry.

She - he, It or whatever adjective OAU qualifies as - is just as visually impaired and equally ffucked-up like the rest to be tagged "the best" in comparison.

An average OAU graduate, undergraduate, is just like any regular graduate and undergraduate out there, nothing special: refuses to admit that he/she wasted 4-5years of their precious life studying in a "so-called" top school which, believe you me - is shittty.

Ole. Barawo.

Patiently waiting to see how he'll wriggle his way out of this like the last one.

waxdude:
Hehe hehe. ..it's well...not really watching like I did during the chase.,get updates here maybe twitter n IG too but sometime wen a little free I peep TV. , d rest of us fit dey here sef with another moniker ... saw ksslib viewing...

Lol.. Wax, Wax, its been a while. I greet.

GreatManBee:
Thanks. Would get back to you soon. The alchemist is one of my favorites too. It's a must read. I read it over and over again.

Would be waiting.

Yea. Read alot of good reviews about it.

Nice.

Would like to get the following

100 years of solitude
To kill a mocking bird
A brief history of Time- Stephen Hawking
The Alchemist
World War Z
East of Eden
The flower of Algernon
Dune
The Brother Karmazov
Enders Game
The Book thief

NaijaTechGuy:
Nokia Will Definitely Knock Tecno Out.. The first 3 days had up to 1 million orders for the phone In China.

That's a massive Milestone.. After the MWC. Tecno may have to keep up with Nokia's pace to succeed.

Not also forgetting to mention that new Nokia 6 - which was just realised in China - sold out in 2 minutes.

Freaking two minutes, that's less than the amount of time it takes some tecno phones to load after punching a button.

tdayof:
RIP to the dead.


To you all insulting the military, this isn't the first time time a military will be targeting a civilian population by mistake.

And so ? This not being the first time suddenly makes it ok? Would you have said the-same if - God forbid - a family member of yours was involved?

This is very embarrassing and heartbreaking to say the least. How can a trained pilot whose job is to protect innocent civilians from insurgents, terrorise the-same ives he swore to protect in the name of MISTAKENLY dropping a bomb.

What da ffuck! !! How does one mistakenly drop bomb, a supposedly trained expert for that matter. Good, gracious Lord!!!

If Nigeria was a sane country - which unfortunately it isn't - heads would have been rolling by now, careers would have been lost, and the iddiots behind this act of wickedness would have so dearly paid for this. But unfortunately, Nigeria is a stttupid country run by morons.

freecocoa:
Walai, Nigerian men are the least faithful/loyal and I don't have to have dated a gazillion of them to know that, other people's experience is lesson enough, but do I expect you to agree with me? Ofcourse not, still doesn't change the fact that most of you are a$$holes.

And here we go again... bla bla blah bla bla bla bla.

Using that same analogy, I hope you'll refuse marriage when the time comes because afterall, Nigerian men are the least faithful.

You sound so pained from your last sentence. Easy dear, do not let the flame of rage, anger, betrayal and frustration accumulated from your past relationships - including that of close friends - combust your internal organs.

freecocoa:
Abeg most nigerian men aren't loyal, stay with them through the hustle and when the money comes, they remember how your bweast don sag or how you talk back at them. The ones that will manage to stay, will give 50 women belle outside, yeye men.

Kudos to the few amazing men like sarkodie out there, fine woman he got, may they grow old gracefully together.

If you're the type that's not mentally built to withstand the harsh waves that often comes with supporting and believing in a struggling Nigga when the going is tough, it's fine and very understandable - nobody like suffer, irrespective of gender.

But don't use that as an excuse to question the loyalty of Nigerian men. How many Nigerian men could you possibly have been with to come to such a conclusion?
How many have you struggled with that dissapointed you at the end?

There are many happily married women today who once supported their now-successful, then-struggling boyfriend, and they ain't complaining at all. You're just making excuses to justify your preference for already-made men . Afterall, who no like better thing?

usbcable:
Morata would have put the Sevilla guy back a little.

Ronaldo was as bad as Benzema.

Zidane needs to make his moves early.

Kroos sub was good.
Was expecting him to take Benz off but NO baldy refused.

Exactly! Morata would have given them something to think about. Well, I believe Zizou did what he felt was best.

He looks like a very nice guy who would go out of his way to respect, and try not to hurt his players even at the expense of performance. Well, his career is still
fresh and i believe the ever-damanding, tensed-up coaching atmosphere in Europe will force him to become ruthless with his changes before, during, and after games.

xfire:
lol.....just because you couldn't finish does not mean others can not finish...Stop gauging other people's abilities within the limit of your own ability.

Instead, improve on yourself......Just a word of encouragement.

xfire, syop. One of the reasons I decided to stop pointing out the obvious flaws the competition had cos I knew I was either going to be tagged a hater or "untelligent". Didn't you ask for people's suggestions? So, it's only right you allow them do just that without the need to question their abilities.

I personally, have told you time and time again of how refreshing and heartwarming this initiative of yours is, but that will not stop me from saying the truth : the modus operandi of this competition was SERIOUSLY riddled with flaws.

What that guy said is correct, spot on. How can you set the-same set of questions for everyone, allow the-same set of students to write at different times and still expect a level playing field?

I couldn't relay the competition to my coursemates on time, else the scores you would have seen would definitely have given you a rude awakening. People cheated with machineries, Google search, multiple accounts, team work. I hope next year's edition will be better, with more original questions and not something a few search buttons away - that way we'll know who the TRULY smart ones are.

Took me few secs - and i mean verrrrry few - to bring out some of your questions from Google search, word for word. See screenshots below.

Goodluck to the winners. Whichever way, you guys deserved it.

usbcable:
We actually played well but Sevilla played way better.

Benzema was slow in tracking back to recover balls and he lost the ball that Jovetic scored the second goal with.

Zidane should have taken him off since the 60 minute for Morata or even Vasquez

This Benzeema issue is one of the problems I have with Zidane. The guy is an expired product whose best-before date dates back to world war II.

Just bench the guy for like 20 games to reset his brain, but for where!!! Broda zizou no wan hear.

usbcable:
Why?

Because we lost?
Or how we lost?
Or who.made us loose?

Not because we lost but how we lost.

I followed the live commentary. Letting in two very important goals in a matter of minutes - most especially when the stakes are higher - is unacceptable. Haba. It was really really painful.

Rubbish. Pure, undiluted rubbish.

Cristiano Ronaldo even had only one hand in one of the pictures.

What da fffuck! !

nemynely:
Verse 2 says:
Money is a defense, lack of it is an offense

Verse 3 says:
woe unto ye that sayeth "money maketh all things evil", for thy household shall be visited and possessed by the spirit of poverty. Forever and ever -amen "

Why didn't the mumu mention the online store responsible, to serve as a deterent to other prospective buyers? I see another victim ordering Gucci but receiving a Buchi knock-off instead.

Iddiots using the power of social media wrongly.

Chaaaiii! I must make this money.

"The lack of money is the root of all evil" Book of a hustler chapter 1 verse 1

Almost every evil in this world can be traced to poverty -aka lack of money.

Oga, don't even ponder on this issue anylonger, go for the note 4 straight-up and you will never regret it.

The phone is a beauty to behold and caress. The first time I held a friend's, then and there, I knew this was it.

Performance wise, you have nothing to worry about. The note-series are engineered to provide a top level of performance and ruggedness only a few in the market can dare aspire to match.

Even the galaxy note 2 that was released during world war II - if we're to compare it with current smartphone technology - can still outperform and pummell most of these newly released chinese phones(don't wanna mention names to avoid emotional outbruts ) to the bottomless pit of not return.

Go for the Note 4.

Edit: ooops! Didn't know this was dated March of 2016.

They can go for 30years strike for all I care, ESPECIALLY the academic staffs.

They deciding to go on strike is an action not worth pleading for. Academic staffs should please join them soonest cos It's not like they teach anythin meaningful within those four stinking walls they call universities. Rather, their day-to-day job - which everyone will agree they do well - revolves round killing both mature and pre-mature dreams and frustrating innocent students.

Infact, they should never resume by embarking on a strike that will stretch the tolerant fabric of infinity to its breaking point.

Our educational system is dead, buried and gone. It's a waste of valuable time that ought be put to good use. Not only that, but also a waste of finances.

**spits*

rill:
not all the questions there required Google, only a few I'd say.

It's that few that separates winners from losers.

At the end, i believe whoever wins definitely deserves it.

I scored 92% by the way. Failed the definition of Economics question and a few. Oh well.




Just kidding.

Odunharry:
Lmao.. Where are those memes of yours?

Lol. Memes too dey eat mb.

I commend you and your team for the time and effort you guys put in. Jah bless

Jesuspikin8:
It wouldn't. Time constraint took care of that. Xfire is smart. Even if one was to do that, you be lucky to answer up to 30 questions before the time elapsed. It was designed in such a way that you couldn't eat your cake and still have it.

Trust me, it didn't.

Now, the total time given for 60questions was 35mins 30secs. This means 2130seconds for 60questions.

Which means to finish the test, you shouldn't spend more than 35.5secs on a question.

Now, there are some questions one can answer within two three seconds. Doing this for, say, two questions gives an extra 65seconds(one whooping minute and extra five seconds), which can be used to tackle other questions.

It takes less than 4secs to open Google search. See, lemme just stop here but I know what I am talking about. Let's not dampen the uplifting nature of this applaudable initiative by echoing its flaws.

I believe next year's will be better. Much much