Labans's Posts
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 Jokes Etc › Med School by Labans(op): 4:28pm On Mar 06, 2007 |
First-year students at Med School were receiving their first Anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them: "In medicine, it Is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is That you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body." For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth." Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it. When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my Middle finger and sucked on my Index finger. Now learn to pay attention." |
| Jokes Etc › A Drunk by Labans(op): 4:23pm On Mar 06, 2007 |
A drunk phoned the police to report that thieves had broken in to his car. 'They've stolen the dashboard, steering wheel, break pedal, even the accelerator,' he cried out. However, before the police investigation could get under way the phone rang a second time, with the same voice came over the line. 'Never mind,' said the drunk with a hiccup, 'I got in the backseat by mistake.' |
| Jokes Etc › Re: Dictionary For Decoding Women's Personal Ads: by Labans(op): 10:20am On Mar 06, 2007 |
Seun:Seun, i totally agree with you, i think you have a point there!  |
| Jokes Etc › The Outhouse by Labans(op): 12:56pm On Mar 05, 2007 |
Once there was a little boy that lived in the country. They had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because it was hot in the summer and cold in the winter and stank all the time. The outhouse was sitting on the bank of a creek and the boy determined that one day he would push that outhouse into the creek. One day after a spring rain, the creek was swollen so the little boy decided today was the day to push the outhouse into the creek. So he got a large stick and started pushing. Finally, the outhouse toppled into the creek and floated away. That night his dad told him they were going to the woodshed after supper. Knowing that meant a spanking, the little boy asked why. The dad replied, "Someone pushed the outhouse into the creek today. It was you, wasn't it son?" The boy answered yes. Then he thought a moment and said, "Dad, I read in school today that George Washington chopped down a cherry tree and didn't get into trouble because he told the truth." The dad replied, "Well, son, George Washington's father wasn't in the cherry tree." |
| Jokes Etc › Post Office by Labans(op): 12:53pm On Mar 05, 2007 |
There was a man who worked for the Post Office, whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses .One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read: Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had #5000 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension check. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me? Sincerely, Edna The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few Naira. By the time he made the rounds,he had collected #4996, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day,all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends. Christmas came and went. A few days later,another letter came from the old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read: Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was #4 missing. It must have been those thieving fuckers at the Post Office. Sincerely, Edna |
| Jokes Etc › Kinky by Labans(op): 12:45pm On Mar 05, 2007 |
A man and a woman are sitting next to each other at a bar, both getting drunk. The man turns to the woman and asks her why she's so down. "My husband just left me. He said I'm too kinky in bed," she replied. "What a coincidence! My wife just left me," said the man. "She told me that I was too kinky for her, too!" The two talk a little while longer, and finding that they have so much in common they decide to go back to the woman's house to have kinky sex. When they get to her house she turns to the man and says, "Give me ten minutes, I want to slip into something more comfortable." She goes into the bathroom and changes into a full leather, jet black dominatrix outfit. However, as she's coming out of her bathroom, the man is putting on his coat and walking out the door. "What happened?", she said. "I thought you wanted to have kinky sex?" He looks at her and says, "Well, I just screwed your dog and shit in your purse. I'm done." |
| Jokes Etc › Dictionary For Decoding Women's Personal Ads: by Labans(op): 12:41pm On Mar 05, 2007 |
Dictionary for Decoding Women's Personal Ads: 40-ish , 49. Adventurous , Slept with everyone. Athletic , No breasts Average looking , Moooo. Beautiful , Pathological liar. Emotionally Secure , On medication. Feminist , Fat Free spirit , Junkie Friendship first , Former slut. New-Age , Body hair in the wrong places. Old-Fashioned , No BJs. Open-minded , Desperate Outgoing , Loud and Embarrassing. Professional , Bitch Voluptuous , Very Fat Hugh frame , Hugely Fat Wants soul mate , Stalker WOMEN'S ENGLISH: 1. Yes = No 2. No = Yes 3. Maybe = No 4. We need = I want 5. I am sorry - You'll be sorry 6. We need to talk = you're in trouble 7. Sure, go ahead = you better not 8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later 9. I am not upset = Of course, I am upset, you slowpoke! 10. You're certainly attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about? MEN'S ENGLISH: 1. I am hungry = I am hungry 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy 3. I am tired = I am tired 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage! 5. I love you = Let's have sex now 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex? 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you. 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you. 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you. 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you. 11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit - I'm gay |
| Jokes Etc › Shop Lifting by Labans(op): 12:34pm On Mar 05, 2007 |
An 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge he asked her, "What did you steal?" She replied: a can of peaches. The judge asked her why she had stolen them and she replied that she was hungry. The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6. The judge then said, "I will give you 6 days in jail." Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something. He said, " What is it? " The husband said "She also stole a can of peas." |
| Jokes Etc › Circumcised by Labans(op): 12:30pm On Mar 05, 2007 |
Two five year old boys are standing at the toilet to pee. One says, "Your thing doesn't have any skin on it!". "I've been circumcised.", the other replied. "What's that mean?" "It means they cut the skin off the end." "How old were you when it was cut off?" "My mom said I was two days old." "Did it hurt?", the kid asked inquiringly. "You bet it hurt, I didn't walk for a year!" |
| Jokes Etc › A Gay Man by Labans(op): 3:10pm On Mar 03, 2007 |
A gay man, finally deciding he could no longer hide his sexuality from his parents, went over to their house, and found his mother in the kitchen cooking dinner. He sat down at the kitchen table, let out a big sigh, and said, "Mom, I have something to tell you, I'm gay." His mother made no reply or gave any response, and the guy was about to repeat it to make sure she'd heard him, when she turned away from the pot she was stirring and said calmly, "You're gay, doesn't that mean you have MouthAction with other men?" The guy said nervously, "Uh, yeah, Mom, that's right." His mother went back to stirring the pot, then suddenly whirled around and WHACKED him over the head with her spoon and said, "Don't you EVER complain about the taste of my cooking again!" |
| Jokes Etc › Ice Cream by Labans(op): 3:07pm On Mar 03, 2007 |
An elderly couple decides to get some ice cream. The old man opts to go alone and asks his wife what she wants. “I want a banana split,” she says. “Are you going to remember this, or should I write it down?” “No, no, I’m sure I can remember,” the old man replies. “I also want chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry with whipped cream and sprinkles. You sure you’re going to remember all this?” “Yeah yeah, I’m not that old,” exclaims the increasingly agitated husband. “And don’t forget the cherry on top,” says the wife. The old man leaves for the ice cream and returns three hours later with a bag of bagels. His wife, looking confused, surveys the order and exclaims, “So where the hell is my cream cheese?” |
| Jokes Etc › An American Priest by Labans(op): 3:04pm On Mar 03, 2007 |
An American Priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" "Just water," says the priest. The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?" The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!" |
| Jokes Etc › Father Murphy by Labans(op): 3:00pm On Mar 03, 2007 |
Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man said, "I do Father." The priest said; "Then stand over there against the wall." Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?" "Certainly, Father," was the man's reply. "Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest. hen Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go to heaven? O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father. The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?" O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now." |
| Jokes Etc › Boasting Animals by Labans(op): 2:58pm On Mar 03, 2007 |
A lion, a gorilla and a chicken are talking in a pub. As often happens in pubs, they began boasting. The lion said, "I'm the King of the Jungle because when I roar everyone runs out of the jungle". The gorilla said, "That's nothing. I'm the King of the Jungle because when I beat my chest everyone runs out of the jungle screaming". Both the lion and the gorilla turned to face the chicken who says, "Roaring, beating, pah! That's nothing. When I sneeze ten million people shit themselves!" |
| Jokes Etc › Parking Place by Labans(op): 2:55pm On Mar 03, 2007 |
Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey". Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one." |
| Jokes Etc › The Parrot And The Lady by Labans(op): 2:52pm On Mar 03, 2007 |
A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a Parrot on a perch in front of a pet store. The parrot said to Her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." She was incredibly angry now. The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, You are really ugly." The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said That she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager replied profusely and promised he would make sure The parrot didn't say it again. When the lady walked past the store that day after work the Parrot called to her, "Hey lady." She paused and said,"Yes?" The bird said, "You know." |
| Jokes Etc › A Film Crew by Labans(op): 2:27pm On Mar 03, 2007 |
3 blokes in a film crew walking along in the desert to do a film shoot.A camera man a sound man and the director. One of the guys kicks a lantern and he picks it up and gives it a rub and out pops a genie. The genie says you have 3 wishes. The sound man says I wish I had all the money in the world and live in the bahamas,next minute poof he's gone The camera man says i wish I was irresistable to all women and had a big house in florida and all the money in the world, next minute poof he's gone. The director says I wish those two blokes would stop fucking around and get back to work, |
| Jokes Etc › Skippy by Labans(op): 2:22pm On Mar 03, 2007 |
A woman goes to her boyfriends' parents' house for Christmas dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart. It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof. Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair, and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!". The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer rrrriiip. The father again looked at the dog and yelled, "Dammit Skippy!" Once again the woman smiled and thought "Yes!" A few minutes later the woman had to let another rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing. Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Dammit Skippy, get away from her, before she shits on you!" |
| Jokes Etc › Tongue Twister Accident by Labans(op): 2:15pm On Mar 03, 2007 |
A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too. He says to him, "Hey, this is a coincidence. We both have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?" The other guy says, "Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the most massive breasts in the world was there. So, instead of saying, ‘I’d like two tickets to Pittsburgh’, I accidentally said ‘I’d like two pickets to Tittsburgh’., so she socked me a good one." The first guy replied, "Wow! This is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue twister too. I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife, ‘Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey’. But I accidentally said, "You’ve ruined my life, you evil, self-centered, fat-assed bitch." |
| Jokes Etc › A Huge Hangover by Labans(op): 2:12pm On Mar 03, 2007 |
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick!: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling!" He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, > steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table eating. Jack asks, "Son. what happened last night?" "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door." Confused he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Oh THAT!, Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!" Broken Coffee Table $39.99 Hot Breakfast $4.20 Two Aspirins 38 Saying the right thing at the right time . . Priceless |
| Jokes Etc › Dressed And Ready by Labans(op): 2:05pm On Mar 03, 2007 |
A couple was dressed and ready to go out into the city for the evening. They turned on a night light, turned the answering machine on the phone line, covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. They phoned the local cab company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and the couple opened the front door to leave their house. The cat they had put out into the yard scoots back into the house. They don't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, the wife doesn't want the driver to know the house will be empty for the night. She explains to the taxi driver that her husband will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my Mother." A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," he says, as they drive away. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me but it worked. I hauled her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!" The cab driver hit a parked car, |
| Jokes Etc › The Honeymoon by Labans(op): 1:59pm On Mar 03, 2007 |
A guy out on the golf course gets hit in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage, he took himself to the doctor. He said "How bad is it doc?, I'm going on my honeymoon next week. The doctor told him, "I'll have to put your willie in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week." He took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4 sided splint, and taped it all together; , an impressive work of art. The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries her, and goes on their honeymoon. That night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal her beautiful breasts. She said, "You're the first; no one has EVER touched these." He immediately drops his pants and replies,, "Look at this,, still in the CRATE!" |
| Jokes Etc › You Look Awful by Labans(op): 5:32pm On Mar 02, 2007 |
George awoke and shuffled into the kitchen. George’s wife, Kim, was already up and greeted him with a kiss and a pleasant “good morning”. Kim took a good look at George and said” You know George, you look awful, really awful- you alright?” George replied “I feel fine dear.” Off to work George went. Throughout the day George continued to receive the same comments and concern from his fellow co-workers. “You look awful George- you alright?”. George replied that he felt fine. George’s boss took him aside mid-day and told George to go to the Doctor to get checked out. So, off the doctor George went. “So George, what seems to be the problem” the doctor inquired. “Well doc, it’s like this. All day people have told me I look awful and need to get checked out. The odd thing is Doc, I feel fine. What do you think?” The Doctor pulled out a huge book from his bookshelf, placed it on the table and opened it up. The doctor poured through the pages until he came to one section. “Ah, here it is George. Hmmm, looks awful, feels fine… feels fine, looks awful. George, you’re a cunt!”. |
| Jokes Etc › Blonde Guy Joke by Labans(op): 1:07pm On Mar 02, 2007 |
The very first ever Blonde GUY joke, And well worth the wait! An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building." The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too." The blond opened his lunch and said, Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too." The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well. At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!" The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much." Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said, "Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch! |
| Jokes Etc › Sentenced To Death by Labans(op): 12:19pm On Mar 02, 2007 |
[i[b]]A Leeds Fan, a Liverpool fan and a Man u fan were all in Saudi Arabia, sharing a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden the Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death! However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment. By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping." The Leeds fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said: "Please tie a pillow to my back." This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Leeds fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done. The scouser was next up and after watching the scene, said:" Please fix two pillows on my back, under my dress" But even two pillows & 1 dress could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again. The Manc was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world, your city has some of the best bars, nightclubs and restaurants in Europe, your city and football team is known throughout the world. For this, you may have two wishes!" "Cheers mate, your Most Royal and Merciful Highness", The manc replies. "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes." "Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheikh asks. "Please tie the Scouser to my back." [/i] [/b] |
| Jokes Etc › It's Your First Time. by Labans(op): 12:12pm On Mar 02, 2007 |
It's your first time. As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you. He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place. He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be. He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him - he's done this many times before. His cool smile relaxes you and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you. After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience. You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled. |
| Jokes Etc › Life Is All About Ass! by Labans(op): 1:39pm On Mar 01, 2007 |
Life is all about ass!! You are either: covering it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, trying to get a piece of it, behaving like one, or living with one. |
| Jokes Etc › Men Are Like: by Labans(op): 11:19am On Mar 01, 2007 |
Men are like, 1. Men are like , Laxatives , They irritate the crap out of you. 2. Men are like, Bananas, The older they get, the less firm they are. 3. Men are like , Weather, Nothing can be done to change them. 4. Men are like , Blenders, You need One, but you're not quite sure why. 5. Men are like , Chocolate Bars , Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips. 6. Men are like , Commercials , You can't believe a word they say. 7. Men are like , Department Stores , Their clothes are always 1/2 off. 8. Men are like , Government Bonds , They take soooooooo long to mature. 9. Men are like , Mascara, They usually run at the first sign of emotion. 10. Men are like , Popcorn, They satisfy you, but only for a little while. 11. Men are like, Snowstorms , You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last. 12. Men are like , Lava Lamps , Fun to look at, but not very bright. |
| Jokes Etc › Her Side Of The Story by Labans(op): 11:15am On Mar 01, 2007 |
Her Side of The story He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit late but he didn't say anything much about it. The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I tried to cheer him up and started to wonder whether it was me or something else. I asked him, and he said no. But I wasn't really sure. So anyway, in the cab on the way back to his house, I said that I love him and he just put his arm around me. I didn't know what the hell that meant because you know he doesn't say it back or anything. We finally got back to his place and I was wondering if he was going to dump me! So I tried to ask him about it but he just switched on the TV. Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to sleep. Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and we had sex. But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to leave but I just cried myself to sleep. I dunno, I just don't know what he thinks anymore. I mean, do you think he's met someone else  HIS SIDE OF THE STORY My team lost. Felt Kinda Tired. Got laid though. |
| Jokes Etc › Magic Beer by Labans(op): 3:46pm On Feb 28, 2007 |
A lady walks into a bar and sees a really cute guy sitting at the counter. She goes over and asks him what he is drinking. "Magic Beer", he says. She thinks he's a little crazy, so she walks around the bar, but after that there is no one else worth talking to,goes back to the man sitting at the bar and says, "That isn't really Magic Beer, is it?" "Yes, I'll show you." He takes a drink of the beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building 3 times and comes back in the window. The lady can't believe it: "I bet you can't do that again." He takes another drink of beer, jumps out the window, flies around the building three times, and comes back in the window. She is so amazed that she says she wants a Magic Beer, so the guy says to the bartender, "Give her one of what I'm having." She gets her drink, takes a gulp of the beer, jumps out the window, plummets 30 stories, breaks every bone in her body, and dies. The bartender looks up at the guy and says, "You know, Superman, you're a real jerk when you're drunk!" |
| Jokes Etc › Two New Firemen by Labans(op): 1:06pm On Feb 27, 2007 |
Two new firemen had been with the department for several months and had never actually been to a fire when they got a report of a large barn fire. The chief decides that this would be a good one for the new guys and tells them that he is sending them out and that it should be a fairly straightforward fire and they should have no problems. The two firemen were gone for a good five or six hours and the chief hadn’t heard from them and was getting worried so he drives out to the site to see what the problem is. When he gets there the fire is pretty much out and the barn is a big pile of smoldering ruble but one of the firemen has the farmer bent over screwing the hell out of him while the other fireman is on the other end getting a Mouth Gig. The chief asks ‘what the hell are you guys doing?’ One of the firemen explains that the poor farmer was overcome with smoke. The chief says ‘Well you were supposed to give him mouth to mouth." The other fireman says ‘Well just how do you think all this got started?’ |
