pansophist: . When people think about polygamy, they imagine a young man getting married to two young women. They see it from the prism of his sexual vanity, and criticize why he is not content with one woman. But in reality, polygamy is a well-established method of human family formation and is present in every single society whether it is legislated or not.
This class of women benefits from polygamy
1. Barren women. Most men will not marry a woman who can't bear a child for him. The alternative for such women is polygamy since the other wives can give him a child.
2. Divorcees with children. Most men will always prefer a woman who has never been married before, but being divorced should not deny a woman marriage, and lots of men will not mind marrying such women as second wives and being step-fathers to their children.
3. Widowers (especially with children): This is self-explanatory.
4. Levirate wives; This is related to number three, but differs in the angle that a man marries his late brother's wife, taking care of her and the children. Giving them a home and protection.
1a. Now, bear in mind that there are more women than men. Men are responsible for most work death, and war death, most prisoners are men and men have to be established before getting a wife. A woman generally is ready to marry in her 20s. So with this reality, women will always be available in high numbers than eligible males.
1b. Also, bear in mind that the West seeing polygamy as outdated is actually de facto polygamy. There is no difference between marrying one woman and sleeping with four outside. It is still polygamy. The women whom he didn't marry are the losers in the game since they will not enjoy any conjugal protection from him and the law.
1c. Again, you should bear in mind that monogamy is successful in the West due to its wealth. The social system can take care of single mothers by giving them cash monthly. In other parts of the world, suffering awaits such women, in this case, polygamy transfers the responsibility to the man.
1d. Also, polygamy is actually a burden on the polygamous man, because he now has more mouths to feed, and children and wives to take care of. His pocket has to be heavy.
1e. Polygamy gives women the opportunity to team up and share a high-value man since these men are few in number. In dating, women share the same men, why not in marriage?
Most importantly, if polygamy is done rightly, it is equally as good as monogamy.
scoobyblogspot: My ex was having some issues with me cause of my addiction to alcohol and a lot of times I misbehave then, although I have changed now that I am married.
Well, she asked us to take a break from the relationship which I refused and she said she has made up her mind already, I pleaded but she refused so i respected her decision but I kept calling her and chatting with her so we don’t go far from each other. The feeling was fading as contact wasn't regular anymore.
Let me caught the long story short
I found someone else, now my wife and she is so understanding and caring towards me, when she got to know this, she hated me and called me all sort of names and wept via chat that is it because she asked for a break just to test me that I broke her heart and she also didnt give me S**?. Don’t judge me yet, I found some missed calls from a guy who kept calling her by 12am on video call at night and sent her gifts upon gift, even took her out secretly. I missed her anyways and I know she misses me too, we have both moved on but I can’t stop thinking about her months after our break up.
IboHausaYoruba: Why Tiwa Savage? Someone who morally cannot be seen as an example of what Nigeria stands for, her indecent sex clip and way of life is there as a pointer. Her tribe was involved in humiliating Igbos before and after election. Her tribal man was rigged into presidency against the will of over 200million people. Tiwa was nowhere to be found during the ENDSARS etc. A combination of matured artists like Onyeka Onwenu and Sunny Ade would have been much appropriate.
xtophy1: On this matter baah, the qualifications of the teachers do not matter if they produce results. I once taught primary school pupils for their preparation of common entrance examz and they passed. I wasn't qualified but my result was splendid. Finito.....
anecdotal and not transferable. One needs standards. I’m sure you won’t employ a quack to build your house or a doctor with no medical license to perform surgery on you. While it is noble you were able to help these students, it’s not transferable.
Let me explain, he says he is not forcing her but if she does not take the fertility test he will not attend the wedding, and he is very likely to prohibit my mom from also attending the wedding and maybe other family members too.
That puts me in a very difficult spot, very difficult spot.
it’s not an easy one but he’s clear on what he will or not do. What’s your own view ?
Exodus15v11: As a Doctor and as your Dad, he has your best interests at heart. He's in the best position to guide and advise you accordingly, and is trying to do just that. It's up to you to listen.
Besides, these are normal pre-marriage protocols and he asked you to do them first, so it only makes sense that she does the same. I don't see the big deal in asking her to also do them, unless you're afraid to ask.
you are wise. He asked him to do it first. Dad is coming from a medical perspective. You don’t have to listen but I suggest you do . If there are any fertility issues later you can’t go back to him. These days everyone should to be honest.
Buhari go stress am may29.. he go stand .. him pipe and body go tell am..
After that .. with all his power and Yoruba judges .. and bribe .. he will return the inec document he bought with Yoruba commonwealth.. to Nigerians ..
Na must.. only say na time ..
Nigerians wish daddy druggie a pipe free life ..
Even if they entire Yoruba Apc sapiens keep wailing uncontrollable on mention …. It changes nothing ..
Tinubu will return that certificate.. weda his entire tribe plus Apc branch loves it or not.. weda they attack and kill all opposition or not .. Even if they made the whole Nigeria judges Yoruba people and used money to buy the remaining judges ..
Walahi it changes nothing ….
The force is much greater than their Yoruba living god..
All na time ..
Keep wailing .. wail.. Odin love your tears !!
why stand when many are prepared to kneel to greet him
Persephone1: Men aren't afraid of successful women perse most men can't relate with successful women because they come with lots of compromise men can't afford. The traditional man wants a woman who will always be available, who won't question his opinions and decisions ( right or wrong) a woman who will cook, do house chores, be a "yes sir" etc. A successful woman may not be able to meet up with all these.
For most Nigerian men money is their bargaining chip in a relationship, there ability to provide a woman's need give them surge of control, relevance and power. Dealing with a woman who can't take care of herself can be very difficult for a man who is yet to realize that his existence is more than ability to provide.
Successful women demands more, for the everyday woman, her wants in a man may be limited to "being taken care of" but for a successful woman she will demand more varying from accountability to loyalty to having a say in decisions, sharing responsibilities etc. Her demands are higher and sometimes impossible to meet for average men.
Of course, some successful women can be proud, unruly and difficult to relate with but trust me, all these stem from "see finish" i.e what can the man offer but truth is when they finally meet the right one, they submit.
Mindlog: If you live in a 3 bedroom flat....you stay in one bedroom, your wife stays in the second, your sister-in-law stay in the third, where do the children stay?🤔
Reminderz: hope you wrote everything about what happened? because what you wrote now, I didn't notice a single fault from your side.. I just hope you're telling the truth and you're not trying to portray yourself good and his family bad... because how come almost all his family have the same impression about you??
if I will advice you BASED ON WHAT YOU WROTE... from your write-up, I didn't see a single fault from your side, his family probably didn't like you and I always advice women against settling down into a family where they are not welcomed, and same for men. it is like living in hell... but it is much worse for the women...
and I also use to tell women that chasing their career shouldn't stop them from having a serious relationship... you don't need to be in a sexual relationship, I'm not saying you should keep sleeping around with men, pls note the difference, but have a serious relationship and keep your options open... a time is coming where career won't mean anything to you again, there are so many important things in life than that... you should set your priorities straight... your job can sack you anytime...
you ignored the red flags in your relationship and it came back to haunt you... this is why you shouldn't let love blind you from taking the right decisions... the men you rejected in the past might have been the right men for you but because of your feelings that ain't temporary, you let it override your logicality... Now you only have yourself to blame... you can either endure your marriage and try to get things right because there's a kid involved already and starting all over might prove very difficult for you or divorce which might also not lead to a happy ending for you... pick your poison carefully.
Do not fight with his family members, but avoid those that wants to fight with you... respect who respects you and ignore those who wants to quarrel with you like they don't exist and this shouldn't stop you from doing what you still have to do in your marriage... face your husband, na the man you marry nor be her sister... let your home be your major concern... talk to him, and I'm sure he's also willing to make things work... so you guys should work through it together... you're not the first person this would happen to and you won't be the last person as well... many marriages even faced issues greater than this and they survived.. you can make it work also.. divorce isn't everything, don't let what you see on social media decieve you... unless domestic violence is involved or threat to life, divorce is not an option... most divorcees regretted their actions later on... all problems have solution.. you and your husband should make things work and God be with you both...
Having read what you posted, I feel the emotional pains you are going through
The only place am going to blame you was the in ability to tolerate them your in laws from day one
They gave you heat and you returned the heat without thinking twice if really you can face them all
You dont really understand their family settings and why all of them are interested in their son
As it is now, you are not a threat to them but they are all a threat to you and your peace in the marriage
You have already prove to them that you are equally as crazy as they are
I think at this point, you have to drop the war weapons and start calming down for them
Talk to your husband if you can, so that he will reconcile you and them, by organizing a good reconciliation meeting for that peace to reign in your marriage, in laws and your life
Once that is done, you will experience absolute peace of mind and you will now be free to relate with them and see them as your own family
Pls look into it so that you too can have peace of mind and your child will have a good sense of feelings with them
If they all decides to gang against you and send you out, your husband will just be confused but will still stand with them because he alone can't marry you
IyaebeTheGreat: Marrying all these present day Nigerian men is like signing up for a lifetime misery . My heart goes out to the Nigerian women out there.
Court Cases are different. If one failed with a particular prayer another person may succeed with the same prayer in the same court. It's not yet time for jubilation. Meanwhile, Court proceedings are all about evidence. The judges claimed Atiku has no legal basis to institute the case. If your lawyers Provide enough evidence the case is yours nomatter the locus
Sports / Nwabali -man Of The Moment.afcon 2024 by ladej(m): 12:31am On Feb 09
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Lmao the replies are epic funny. 