₦airaland Forum

Apus:
And you concluded the reason for keeping up was to flirt? What is wrong keeping up with an ex-colleague (male or female)? Remember, he never gave her that impression even as a colleague going by what he has written. It's okay if blocking him is her own way of dealing with rejection, but do not misjudge his intentions.

I'm almost in d same situation as d OP. I'm beginning to keep my distance now, before my intentions are misconstrued.

the op stated that before he left he realized she wanted to be more than friends . Now tell me why a 35 years old lady should keep male friends who are not potential suitors . Infact any lady above 25 should not keep friends who are not potential suitors.

eduman365:
Hey, hey, hey, Wait a minute! What did I just read?

Aunty, what happened? Is something else involved ni?

Flirt, travel out, time waster, IVF... What's all that?!

The guy wanted to be friends!!! Friends!!! Is that a crime? Everybody must marry you because you are ready and time is running out? Please what happened when you guys were selecting in your early 20s?

So it's the innocent guy that should now change his plans from friendship to marriage, just like that!!! That's a very callous way of thinking...

and the lady said she doesn't want then why call her selfish? And rant about it? . Or is friendship now by force?.

He even said guys should do the dumping first that's what is paining the op. Nobody asked him to change his plans,if they had dated it would have been a different case but they never dated as far as she is concerned he is " the one who got away" . There is no point staying in touch wondering "what would have been" . The op is likened to "water under the bridge".

crackkhaus:
They don't know how to handle rejection because they are wired to believe they are very special and will be a catch for any man...even the ones with faces like Smeagol or with flat bums/boóbs.

Most Nigerian ladies don't understand that just because men are swarming around them does not mean these same men want to spend the rest of their lives stuck with them. 98% of the time, na just where to pour cvm those niggas dey find.

I'm pretty sure if the lady in the OP had just played along and told the guy she too was not interested in anything serious but just wanted to have fun, that guy-man will collect free punî without giving that speech about his future.

why will a 35 years old lady play along with a time waster like the op? .


By the way ,if you want to talk about looking like smeagol I know alot of male nairalanders that look like that but Nigerian women dey manage una like that.


Also let's not forget we are talking about the same Nigerian men that impregnate mad women roaming on the streets . Stop hyping yourselves ,y'all are not all that either

eduman365:
Well I must admit this is quite true. But on the other hand, ladies could be very selfish once they want to settle down! Nowadays any lady above 25 just wants to jump on the next guy that says hi to them regardless of whether the guy is on the same frequency with them or not...

Either ways I don't blame the lady for cutting off. I think your point was totally valid. But the effect on the other person too is negative. Women should take it easy. If a guy has been clear on his intentions from day 1 respect it and accept him for who he is. There are a lot of wonderful people that won't marry you cos their plans for their own life is different. Ladies should stop being selfish.

No you are the selfish one here. At 35 she should keep entertaining time wasters and directionless relationships? So you will come and scream evening newspaper and near menopause in her ear tomorrow.

Any lady above 25 should never date any guy that is still in the "let's see how it goes " phase. If you as a man wants to be taking your first son to kindergarten with a bent back and walking stick ,women don't have that luxury. Even with IVF, the older a woman the less likely the success.


So Mr Man that finger of women being selfish is pointing right back at you.E get wetin person dey grow pass, all this time wasters,no conscience at all ,see the way you are claiming victim already,very self centered.

Nobody held your clothe not to travel abroad,so why nag about it and accuse women of being selfish because they decide to move on instead of waiting endlessly? .


The op attested that she is a good lady , resourceful and well travelled, yet he didn't make proper commitment before leaving and still wants to hang around and mess up her head with subtle flirts ,that's demonic

Mreazi121:
Good advice, I once had such experience, sex was always available, but at some point I had to distance myself sharp sharp before things go too far, she was heartbroken, but me no care.
Never have a committed relationship with any woman of Marriageable age if you're not ready to marry her, she will go any length to hold you down to herself......

isn't the bolded supposed to be common sense to guys tho .

Why waste her time and lead her on if you are not a demon

fairfora:
my wife and I started by being just friends. She was in her late 30s when I traveled out to further my studies. We still remained friends but this time, closer and intimate. I came back and married her. Maybe the girl had a skeleton in her cupboard because I had a friend who married a girl only to know she had a child which she never disclosed before marriage.

your case is one in a million. As you can see the op is egotistical and full of himself so the outcome is likely to go sour.

Carioca:
Gbam!
Exactly the same thing happened to me,
These people make much money from begging,

The one that pain me most is after they beg finished, they will go and wash the money,
They do that because the money was given to them by infidels/kafir, so to them the money is unclean.

Most of them are not even Nigerians

people should stop giving them money ,it only encourages them to breed like rabbits so their children too will come and join them.

WildChild00:
Lolzzzzz this lady would not kill person

you need to see the way they harass people while begging.they will grip your clothes as if they gave you money to hold for them .so they can read and write,then they should make themselves useful.

Lol, why southerners give these people money beats me. One yeye idiot said the other time that begging was their culture.

Dear Southerners stop giving people who feel they are entitled to your money,let them starve on the streets if they want to or let them follow tomatos lorry back to their various states to continue their begging culture there.


The day I saw a Hausa woman beggar eating food I cannot afford with two meat and pure water is the day I stopped giving these beggars money,to think all her kids were there too hustling and holding people's clothes to beg for money made it even more disgusting.

vickydevoka:
I don been try get this can attention for facebook last week , na so I drop one bomb for Dem, na so Dem begin follow me oo. So tey I get over 50 replies. So sometimes, someone might just wanna catch some fun out of boredom by making irritating statement

I think his own is a combination of attention seeking and psychopathy.

vickydevoka:
Sister abi na babe u de take dis nigger serious. Don't u know who he is. Ebeg dis guy na clout him just the chase de try get attention.
His statements always starts with sense n end with nonsense

lol

Liposure:
hmmmmm

it's not like I am against only sons but you have be the type to overlook alot of interference.from third parties and even not mind being sidelined in critical decisions . It's just what it is bro.

Enemyofpeace:
super trash only for the myopic

Enemyofpeace:
super trash only for the myopic

lol ,this thing pain you o . . Tell that to Nigerian families that hover over their only male sons

Liposure:
i dont know. D whole thing is just confusing and depressing. I dont understand anymore

Are you an only son? Cos the way you are taking it.

Many women are married to trust sons some are married to only sons but we just have to be truthful with ourselves.It might not be true in all cases but many a time it's always the case . Families hover over only sons and tend to become over protective that women who intend marrying such men need to pass through scrutiny of all members of the family and must meet their approval for a woman worthy to be the wife of their beloved heir.

Liposure:
am scared

of what?

eni4real:
There is no perfect relationships tho!
Unless if there were other 'red flags' or maybe he was not good enough for you

see I get pepper body o. I respect myself and people but hate when people want to boss over me or poke nose into my business. Infact I don't know my neighbors in the next compound this is a place I have spent more than 5 years, that is how much i mind my business but all this my People said this ,let me ask my people what their opinion is on this ,my people said we should do it this way not they way you suggested so they can benefit too, bla bla bla , e nor go work for my side o. I mind my business so I expect people to mind theirs too and I am not afraid to tell them to their face to mind their business. Had to find my way before it got to that stage.


Sometimes he will even do it with his people before informing me after they have concluded. Me too get people o.

Liposure:
i know. But lets stop all dis only son mata. its mundane. Not a big deal.

But it's the truth na. Many ladies will tell you same.

Liposure:
every only son is not d same. Change your mindset. 4give n 4get

Things happen for us to learn ,I am only sharing my own experience. It doesn't mean I am holding a grudge.

ademijuwonlo:
what about only child and also only son?

same thing sis.

eni4real:
You should have been patient!!!
He was still attached to his family member at that time.... Sooner he will learn to put you first naturally!

when? After three children? That was a red flag and I knew it would only get worse.Dont want to sound cliche but marriage does not change people .

Check you self into a psychiatric home ,you don't sound ok at all

pocohantas:
Na their way, “my people my people”. Like say you commot from coconut.

lol , at a point I come dey wonder o. Like say me sef nor get people.It was basically a three tier relationship of me,him and his people.

pocohantas:
Especially the Igbo ones,
Especially the ones from Anambra. Izzôu no vex o.

They are ready to kick you out of the house because of their family. Naija men have serious issues balancing their nuclear and extended family. The kinda questions and comments that comes out of their mouths, gives you a clear picture of their mindsets.

I have an only brother and he was showing these traits. His gfs didn’t like me and I always wondered why. Till the mumu opened his mouth to tell me he told his gf I will always come before any woman, because we grew and suffered together. I told him to face his babe o, make e no come dey disturb my own guy.

dated a first son ,Omo I felt like a second shadow o. I never even enter house na so so my people said this my people said that,like say me sef nor get people .

She sure is experienced with life lessons. She said the exact truth.Ladies avoid only sons for your own peace of mind, talking from my personal experience.

Kubernetes:
I think it's because of the open hatred he has for hausa Fulani.
If not how can a sane person think in such an imaginable way.

so Hausa Fulanis have love for Deltans and the only way to show it is by killing Deltans abi? Corona virus kill you there

The only thing I am buying from northerners are things I can take home and wash myself. .

Muslims and hypocrisy the same ones who invited Nicki Minaj are now calling for arrest of a lady just because she is black and some idiots will be wasting our scarce resources on fruitless pilgrimage to Mecca .


The racism of Arabs is the worst on Earth ,if you like pack all your foreign reserve to go to Mecca. Yeye Muslims.To think this rubbish is happening on a so called holy Land is an irony.

WildChild00:
Iron lady hope you have not beaten up all the ladies in your hood

I nor dey fight o. I dey cane my lane. I don't even know the people in the next compound sef cos I mind my business,they might know me but I don't know them.

Dear Southerners stop giving northern beggars money,if they want to starve to death on the streets let them or better still let them follow tomatos lorries back to their States.


You can only save a person who wants to be saved as it stands northerners like their life and are quite happy the way they are. They are better left in the 18th century while their elites feed fat off their stupidity.

Why don't I meet such people ,it's my husband that will be the one calming me down cos I will slap him back . I hate nonsense .


Even if he is the landlord ,commot from my house doesn't mean leave this world,houses full everywhere o. You are too calm even your wife sef too calm. It's not a bad thing o but people like you always get ridden on by assholes. The only language assholes understand is fire for fire.


I am the type that likes to mind my business ,but if you want it ,I will give it to you hot hot,not time to check time.

DavidEsq:
My dear the "masculine toxicity" displayed here represents the true state of the average Nigerian male and that barely excludes me. The forum being 90% faceless, it's easy to show who we are without fear of being tagged negatively; unlike Twitter that is 99.9% a face forum, where pretense reigns as king.

true.