₦airaland Forum

Teacher: Give any types of lines
you know.
Student 1: Vertical line
Teacher: Very good. another line..
Student 2: Horizontal line
Teacher: Impressive.. Who will tell us the other one.
Akpors at the back shouted: Sir..Sir!
Teacher: Okay Akpors tell us.
Akpors: Caroline.

Dele was in his röom watching blue film when his pastor friend came calling only to meet Dele carried away. The pastor said after gaining attention. "Bro Dele, why are u doing this to yourself? Don't u knw this is a very bad sin".
At this point the lady character in the film was shouting " Oo Jesus, yea. Give it to me",While the male character was shouting " Oh yeah! God yeah! Oh God".
The pastor said. "Bro Dele, i will 4give u due to one condition. From the names these characters are calling, i can see that they are born again. Oya shift, make we watch am together"

Ramadan season is a season when every islamic religion believers must be upright and steadfast in their approach towards serving God through fasting and abstinence 4rm worldly things.

Fasting which is one of the five pillars of islam must be taken with all seriousness by keeping at bay anything that might act as stain during the period. Husbands must not be intimate with their wives, neither should there be any form of alcoholism.

What i noticed is that, i have never heard a wife or husband say.. ' I met my wife/husband during ramadan period. He wooed me during that period or i fell in love with him during that period'.

This prompted the question... Is it wrong to woo or fall in love with a lady during ramadan?

Who runs the world

.... Girls...

Who runs the girls

.... Boys...

So who runs the world??

You never understand abi?
Who produces milk?
.. Cow..
Who owns the cow?
.. Man..
So who get the milk?
..... Fill in the gap!

Q... What is the highest height of shock?

A... The highest height of shock is when you are having intimacy.x with a pregnant woman and a hand suddenly grabs ur diick 4rm d inside.

Q... Why do fools fall in love?

A... Because na only person wey no get sense dey fall down. Moreso, the wise prefers to fall inside chocolate.

Question... Why is the brreast located in the upper part of a human body?

Answer... Simple. Because u have to keep the milk far 4rm the puss.sy cat.

A bllowjob is the only job which u can not indicate or include in your CV with references to the recipients regardless of the number of times and experience you hav gathered in d cause of being employed in it.

I can't just stop asking myself these 'what if' questions. Here it goes...

Sir Isaac Newton propagated ( started) the studies of gravitation and motion just bcuz an apple fell on his head while he was under a tree... I guess that was what brought about all the unnecessary formulaes that is useless in practical life but that sch managements can't do without burdening students with... Of what concern is the formulae v=u+at, if i want to buy a limousine.
Nw to my question, the big What if...

WHAT IF it was actually a badagry coconut that fell on Newton's head instead of a weightless apple... I guess, it would be the ground studying hw many days it wud take for him to decay...
Abi wetin una think?

RAG DAY, as it is fondly called and cherished in our tertiary institutions of learning, is a day set aside by the social planners and organizers of institutions which entails students dressing like mad personalities in rags and roaming the street for the purpose of making money.

Based on what was learnt, ragday was initiated by institution governors or president of the student union in those days as a charitable affair in the sense that its purpose is to help children in need of one thing or the other, particularly in the orphanage. Its funds was also sent to hospitals to help the needy and less priviledge.

It is so funny that these days, rag days are not celebrated with the orientation of charity any longer. But rather, though it is still a day students look forward to for the wrong reasons. They use the day as an avenue to fill their own pockets forgetting the purpose of existence of the social event in the first place.

What do you think of the rag day? And is there need for any correction of its change in bearing?

Deede oko loo se!
A prayer meant 4 sum1 travelling wich means that such a persn would meet the bus. But ( what abt meeting d bus in a negativ way? Accident abi?

@tobechi20...
It z just talking about some of d so called prayers whch are actually curses in disguise. It might nt b funny in english but in yoruba, itz a masterpiece. Translated Examples in english are...

1. A small car won't hit you. ( so na big car like tipper go hit am abi)

2. U no go bcum mad all of a sudden in ur old age. ( na 4rm ur young age d madness go start til dat old age abi?

3. Small river no go carry u go. ( na big river go cary am go abi?)

Odo kekere o ni gbe e lo... (odo nla ni ko gbe lo abi?)

Ooo ni ya were laaabo... ( na full blown madness better abi)

Lolzzz.
There are some prayers yoruba wise which sounds prayer-ish but in actual fact, they happen to be undiluted and saturated curses. Want examples? Check out the following...

1. Moto kekere o ni gba e o! (Nla abi?)

2. Oko aje o ni ba e, ti e lo maa baje.. Hmmmm!

3. Ooo ni ya were lagba o. ( Lati kekere ni ko ti bere abi?)

4. Ooo ni sosi niwonba o... ( Osi pupo ni ko se abi?)

5. Ooo ni bawon ki naira ku atijo o... ( sugbon dollars ati pounds nko?)

Know more Feel free to add urs...

President Goodluck Jönathan went visiting some schools in Nigeria. On getting into the classroom of one of such schools, he decided to test the intelligence of the class by asking the question. " Who can tell me what a TRAGEDY is?".
A student raised his hand and said. " If my next door friend is playing on the street and is hitted by a car, that is a tragedy sir". The president said. "No, that iz nt a tragedy, it is an ACCIDENT.
Another student said. " If a vehicle with 50 students runs off a cliff. That is tragedy sir". The president said no. That is a GREAT LOSS.
After some few minutes silence with no answer forthcoming, a warri boy stood up and said.." Sir. If you are travelling in a plane with the first lady dame Patience Gej and the plane crashes, that is Tragedy sir."
The president said. " Good. Pls clap 4 him. Can u xplain why it is a tragedy?
The boy answered "It will be a tragedy because Losing u and your wife sir, will not be an ACCIDENT and at d same time, it won't be a GREAT LOSS...

Chei! Imagine dame patience gej lecturing english in National open university. Disaster!!! Tufiakwa

7pounds baby in ladies stomach 4 just 9 months Do u knw hw many years the man has being pregnant with that same baby b4 transferring it to u. Abegi... Wetin sef? No be u say u want? 4 beta 4 worse.

I karate hit a ninja in line at a bank bcuz my role model did the same.

Oun tun ree!

Ileke-IdI:
Can I post some too or is it just the OP?

Feel free ke!! Itz a free world.

Who runs the world? Na girls.
Who runs the girls?
Na boys.
So who runs the world totally?
Na boys jooor!!!
Confiiiiirmu ni!!! Apaaaarti weeeeree!!

Zoom and check it out. 4 optical consumption and digestion. Lol.

CALL SUMMARY.

Guys to Parents... 00 : 59 secs.

Guys to friends... 01 : 10secs.

Guys to guys... 00 : 28secs.

But Guys to ladies... 10 : 59 secs!!!
Why
Because ladies to guys is always... 00 : 05 secs. Because the only thing they say is... "PLEASE, CALL ME BACK. I NEED TO TALK TO YOU".

Abeg, what of father u turn?

LesbianBoy: Just tot i should share the real names of some nollywood stars!


Full/Real names of some nollywood stars

mike ezuruonye - Michael ezuruonye

Nonso diobi - Chukwunonso diobi

Paw paw - osita iheme

Aki - chinedu ikedieze

Tonto dikeh - Tobechukwu dikeh

Rukky sanda - Rukayat adesanya

Genevieve nnaji - Genevive ngozi nnaji

jim iyke - James ikechukwu asomugha

Osuofia - Nkem owoh

Uche jombo - Ucheobi jessica jombo

Ini edo - iniobong edo

Stephanie okereke - stephanie onyeka okereke

Rita dominic - Rita uchenna nkem nwaturuocha

Omotola jalade - Omotola prisca jalade

Oge okoye - Ogechi ruth okoye

Mr ibu - John okafor

Emeka ike - Chukwuemeka ike

Desmond elliot - Desmond jude elliot
saint obi - obinna nwafor

Desmond Elliot - Desmond Idiot.

Wanna undastand what funny is all about. Check out the following-

1. A teacher wearing native to school on a monday morning!

2. An oyinbo man wearing native wears and ending it with canvass.

3. Charging a blackberry battery with desktop charger. Absolutely funny!

4. Using a rubber band to bind blackberry so as 4 it to function properly.

5. Asking 4 direction to one's gal frnd place 4rm a deaf and dumb! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

Interested... Add what u think is funny to you!

A Colleague of mine asked me this question and i want intellects to answer since i can't find a elucidating answer to it.
The Question:
SINCE WE PRINT MONEY IN NIGERIA.. WHY DO THE GOVERNMENT HAVE TO BORROW FROM OTHER FOREIGN COUNTRIES AGAIN?
WHY CAN'T THE GOVERNMENT JUST PRINT THE AMOUNT NEEDED?

The way it stands now, we have seen some serious upsetting in the Euros with the way some of the so called favourites and big teams were discarded from the tournament like tissues. Talking about the likes of NETHERLAND and RUSSIA with the former coming into the tournament with all stars and leaving with not even a simple draw but total defeat in three matches.

RUSSIA started well but were castrated by a mere Greece to send them packing.

POLAND, RUSSIA, NETHERLAND, DENMARK, IRELAND, CROATIA, SWEDEN are already out of the tournament while UKRAINE will most certainly join the group except if the ENGLANDS are complacent enough to lose to UKRAINE with Shevchenko already a doubt.

The likes of CZECH REPUBLIC, GREECE, GERMANY, PORTUGAL, SPAIN, ITALY are already Quarterfinalists. And there is certainty that FRANCE and ENGLAND should be able to join the group of quarterfinalist after their matches today with SWEDEN and UKRAINE respectively.

Out of these 8 quarterfinalists , who are those you think will make it to the finals and who do u think will win?

I am already a graduate when i met a lady still seeking for admission. Things were seriously going well for our relationship until her admission patched up.

Few weeks to her schooling proper. We were always seen together. But as soon as she started, she changed suddenly. Can't even remember the last time she picked my call.

When i spoke to some of my friends, they had one or two things to say about their xperience in matters like this and they concluded that once one's guy or girl gains admission, the partner should just 4get him or her and move on.

Do u share this view? Have u experienced such actions before? Should one forget such partner and move on? What is your advice?

Vergil: For some guys, it really is. Ego plays a huge role in some guys life. It takes a matured and insightful mind to look past it. And a situation like this, is a huuge ego scratch.

Yh. Curious tho. I know its likely to happen. But why should/would the relationship with the friend be strained? Solely cos the guy has "tasted" it? Heard her moan? Cumd in her mouth? Seen her na[i]k[/i]ed? Sucked on her titts? Splashed his DNA all over her? Fukd her in every position imaginable? Etc etc! Maaan..aint that easy! From a guys pov anyway.

Hmmm...but, if they're happy together, I'd say all that's trivial (like a guy once said). And should go ahead

...or is it?

Exactly! Guess u understood what this is all about!

ijebabe: See stupidity, he's considering not marrying his woman because his friend dated her years ago.
Its painful and embarrassing to know ur friend has been down that road but its the past and they should all move on. Or did the friend say something else about her personally that we don't know?
Did she come to him a virgin and vice versa? What if the situation was the other way around? When he was fccking her wasn't it sweet? So now her p[i]u[/i]ssy is tainted?
The guy should do the 'stiff upper lip' and marry the girl! Life is not always how we want it to be.

U knw the way relationships are these days. It isn't that the lady isn't good. She wud make a very good and wonderful wife. The guy friend even confessed that the lady was d best thing that ever happened to him. It is just that the guy is thinking of hw he wud face his frnd who wud surely come on d day of d nikkai.