Yes I am back and I am still married can u beleive it!! ha ha I am. LIfe is good! I just freeze soup ad stew and we take when needed cos I am a full time student and I gotta run errands and be at school daily. If he didn't like it he's be well gone he has his passport six months now! but I kept to having one of my own children only until we could have a better life as the jobs are going bust my the minute in Ireland.

ALl I had to do was physcially become sick of working twelve hours in nursing homes to find cups al over the place. I just said it, I said it out to him am I am machine? If you want a machine go find a naija woman. He has to get everythg handed to him lying lik he has a disability on the sofa. Fck sick of it but dont care ill do what he wants to shut him up. He cuts the grass, thats it. So, I am going back to school fuulltime. I have to take care of the child and then be expected to proved mindblowing sex for him which is difficult. But anyway I don't give a shite anymore. A leopard will never change it spots PERIOD wish u luck and hopefully not an early grave my dear. xx pls my husbandn will not eat any food only naija food. I cook it and put it all in the fridge and have no weekend basically.

Guys at NL what do u think? hott or whatt?

http://marcus-collins.tumblr.com/post/12201453263

http://marcuscollinsfuckyeah.tumblr.com/post/12843398807

http://marcuscollinsfuckyeah.tumblr.com/post/12850431599

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Marcus is recording his album! he is so hotttt http://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/marcus-collins-returns-to-his-school-in-liverpool-280626

thank you scoooby1, lke if i was a guest at someones house i mean i would get up and go for a walk she actually is is on the sofa 24-7 no joke I'm serious!!!

Yes my husban says he can go to a friends house and lie on his sofa or anyone else in his families sofa even extended no problem and he could also lie ther with a rug over his head 24-7 ha ha!!!

It is nice to be comfortable, but this person doesnt work or do anything, only eats and lies down. I dont see how thats notmal to do this in someone else house your not paying a penny in.

So should I appologize? I have never came across this way. I feel so guilty pitty I didnt know.

Yes so i shouldnt have said anything, how was I supposed to know that it is normal in nigerian culture to lie on someone elses sofa 24-7

I have just lost my job so i think being exposed to this 24-7 is very annoying she wont even go out for a walk. She is a lvely person I personally love her! but nowi feel very bad i said it. Huby said he just mentioned and didnt say I said it. NO she is upstairs in her room allday and I feel worse now

I dont law down the rules in my home. But I am just wondering. I have a relative staying with us for a few months. My husband and this relative are permantely sprawlled out on the sofa. After I while I said it nicely to my husband that I find it hard to get a seat becasue this relative cannot sit in a chair (she has to big spread out with rugs all over her head. I feel guilty now that I said this but its very frustrarting and my Iirsh friends are asking me whats going on? why are they always lying around. I have had to bad my pets from the house cos she doesnt like them. She is a guest but also a family member. My husband said its normal to be always relaxingon the sofa in another relatives home. Pls whats ur take onthis?

@genius100, no he doesnt want any children with me, he has an Irish Passport. We have discussed this. It nots me, I am just protecting myself by taking the pill.

Thanks guys for the advise but I am being mistaken for someone else. He was never caught cheating int he seven years we are together. He knows how I feel but I don;t really care he gets all the food he likes but he won't tak me anywhere. Like there is no such a thing as a family day out.

No seriously, you guys were mixing me up there was never any asylum seeker involved it was general cultural differences I suffered from.

Hy no this man has ever ever married and i have been down to Nigeria, he has been very nice lately and he did not go away. Well we will have to see,

Ehh no hope u dont mind me saying, NO way is that true. The carribean accent is really nice, the SA accent is soft, but no. I dont agree even tough my accent is a very thick Dublin accent.

5th

Further to my post, he doesnt like me to ask any Questions, if I ask him any Q's he will go absolutely crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey how is everyone in the forum? I hope all is well.  I am asking you people for an honest opinion. I am married to my husband for seven years now.  All has been going well. I have a child from a previous marriage to an African American who doesnt wan t to know,   and a Legal divorce, So I met mu husband who is an Igbo man and he has  has been with me since my child was 2 months old. We had a few problems but nothing major and I chose not to have his child so I took the pill. He knew I was taking the pill and even asked if I missed it. In the last few months he has became very irrate. We own a house together and both names are on the deeds. We married in Nigeria in 2005. I cannot drive as I cannot afford the insuranse.  Its very hard to find a job in Ireland. I studied Law for four years. I am on call for cover over the summer for legal advice in a temporay job. Apart from that I get Jobseelers allowance of 186 per week. Out of that I pay for the food and the GAS cards.

My husband does nothing but criticise me. For no reason, I do not go past the door without his permission. I had to run away for a week end to my sisters house which is an hour on a train. I make him all his Nigerian food. I hand it to him. I do not ask him for a cent. I ran away as he is abusive, he says I am an idle fool. I am looking for a job. he has two weeks holiday from his job. I asked him about six months ago if we can go away for a 'family' weekend and he just went away to London a few months later, I asked him why coulnt I come and he said it was b'cos it was too expensive (even though I can leave my child with my mother). So he went away for about four days and I thought nothing of it.

Now he wants to go to Swiss to see his cousing fresh from jail. Dont get me wrong my husband is an engineer. But I was never asked to go anywhere with him. He is picking up his passport ( an Irish passport on Tue) I asked him why I was not invited to go to London at Xmas time 2010 and why I was not invited to Switzerland? I feel hurt,


But he never goes anywhere with me. He said that I should just go and take my child for a vacation in Disneyworld. I never go anywhere! actually we have never went anywhere together apart from one holiday four years ago. Why is he resisting me to accopany him? IM sure its nothing but I feel hurt as I give him everything I have,

In Ireland, we just join them on 'the weekends' we party with our own hubby's. Whether it be indoors or outdoors we do that. We dont just let a man go drunk to some club or something.

LOL the taping thing is very funny but he will find that intimidating, this is a naija man o! u just tell him to cut down or he will have a liver problem, I now lots a men here in Ireland that died of Liver malfuntion but awareness is the key.

Give him a cuppa coffee, a VERY STRONG cuppa tell him about all those good times you had when he was 'sober' reiterate that u love him. Don't call him a drunkard. Just say ha ha I think u need a coffee and something heavy to eat. But long term, wow depending on the severity of it. I can tell u all my dad was a raving alcoholic. My mother stood by him until he died. Even though he was missing for years! they are Irish though ha ha!

On a serious note, he has to cut down the amount gradually and if he cant he can get sleeping tablets of the doctor which wont make he want to drink.

Don't worry, I get this every night, my hubby works night until 12 so he comes in like a demon. I have my own income and thats the key. I just let him rest. Just laugh! say 'yes relax everything be ok' thats what has worked for me in the last seven years.

This is an interesting topic, I once went to a wedding about five years ago and wore a dress with sleeves and to the knee but the chest part was very revealing. My husband asked if I could put the scarf over them, he is not muslim but I have a very large breast. So I did. Anyways, I know some naija women married who are quite overweight and wear hit pants, halter neck tops, mini skirts, tight shorts etc with very very low cut tops and are in dire need of a good support bra. Like I nearly died when I saw this, no clothes on and this little tie wrapped around their neck. Naija women are the best! they are the best wives, mothers and cooks etc. I really admire them. But if I put this to hubby about the unclothedness of some of them he says 'thats her and her nonsense dress' I have to dress as he would like. As a muslim non practising, I kinda agree. He tells me to 'keep away' from this sort.

I know someone who wears a very short dress, she is really dark, the dress is sleevless and white and you can see the black bra and knickers underneath. Her hubby is in Naija.

This topic reminds me of my sister in law, she would tell how they boys were allowed out playing football all day and she had to cook and do cleanaing chores. She said its a mans world in Nigeria. I just personally think the man should help out if they wife is working, my husband has changed, he sweeps the floor and mows the lawns and even feeds my cats now. It was funny when this really nice Polish guy was very interested in my sister in law she panicked and said no' no' I dare not go. So she seems to think its a catch. Love is love. LIke I have been dying with a fever an bronchitis all over the xmas perios my husband was wonderful by getting me stuff from the shop. But they are placed on the counter for the woman to cook. Then when I got up I actually felt better had a nice pepper soup.

MY husband is the main earner now after i lost my work, I just have some other bits n pieces of work as an advocate. But I earned more not a thinkg would change! why would it? no.

That is my favourite soup ever the flavour of those leaves are so beautiful. I learned how to make it too. Impossible to get Oha leaf here. Maybe dried one only very rarely.

ONe of them is a long haired silver pedigree persian and the one is jet black longhaired. I put them out the are normally outside looking for prey anyway. But I respect her views but they dont respect mine,

My husband was saying cats are considered evil. I have two cats, they dont come near him but when any of his friends come in they shake and say 'get that thing out'. Esp his sister she really freaks out and tells me if I dont get the cat out she will have to leave the house. Cats are lovely pets I think, that how I was raised alongside them. I don't know why Nigerians don't like them

If one spouse is working in the UK you can apply under the EU regs ie (EU Fam)

One has to be excercising that right, not sure what UK is like, but here in Ireland the is some discretion that can be exercised upon request to the minister, good lawyer and a very strong letter. However if there is only one person on a student visa its difficult. Perhaos u coudl try citizens advice UK

I went to Nigeria and got married there, do that, then u will have to meet his family. I always thought I would be left when he got his papers, he has everything now. He surprised me by buying a house for me. I have one child 6 years now and we are together 7years. I know I did a lot of complaining on this forum about the cultural differences. If you have good intentions, u will be rewarded for it. I wouldnt get pregnant though. It very serious when u have a child and life can be difficult. WHy not get married then later on get pregnant?

I think alcoholic woudl be better wouldnt wanna catch any itchy STDS

Yeah imagine, if u got money over there ya don't have to do a tap. We dont employ housemaids here and even if i had the money, i wouldnt do that.

He gone for two weeks that no prblem

But I know someone when she was four months pregnant with a one year old and a six yr old she doesnt give a care in the whole about her ubby that goes down for over six months. That woud kill me.

Is itnormal in ur culture for the man to go away for six months plus and leave the wife with all the kids and pregnancies.

1. Neither
2. AN alco

No further thanks!

HI,

Just wondering, my hubby has to go home b'cos sadly his father RIP he died. He has booked a ticket for two weeks. I will miss him so much and I am not pregnant. I see many strong ladies whose hubbys go away for six months plus and they are pregnant. How would this make u feel? is this the norm