₦airaland Forum

watchin the kuvuki land with amazement seeing there security lapses.

@ayusman

how is your WAEC exam today?. cheers

@ayusman
do you want to go to hell so quick?

guy, guy, guy how many time did I call you. how many fingers are mine pointing up. if you can get the answer i will know that you can see well

hope we have a good samaritan in the house to either borrow you glasses or read for you.

great men don't jump they always warn and strike when their enemy are asleep. saucekid don't let the virus kill u. it has already kill someone in this joke section

guy anthrax can flush out the whole of kuvuki irrespective of their status. saucekid don't annoy me or else,

bomb for sale

bee

@ tessybaby

very soon we will land anthrax virus in your so call kuvuki land and then we will enslave all of you.

clean

@ayusman

sorry you need to rewrite your application letter to Unipetrol. there are so many blunders in the one you wrote. wishing you success in your on - going WAEC

@ clem

rest in peace

Sam must hav learn a lesson by now that he can't just fight the majority. personally, am happy he is removed because he thinks he has so much power.  why i said this is that sam will b the first to comdmn peoples joke and he felt his own jokes are always the best. thats why we did a very good reserch on his jokes and we reliased he always copy and paste them on NLD. we warned him that he can't send us away from here but we can frustrate him out which we have done. only seun can stop me from posting my mind. and i know most people here will see my comment telling him to becareful with people like me. Sam thanks anyway for all you have done we are always learning and i think you should send a letter of appreciation to Seun for given you such a privilege to learn and an apology letter to we that you have deleted our post and thread out of hatered. wishing you the best in NLD. cheers

baby, take this serious so that you won't nd up in the trash. take your time, study your guy and stop sex for now. never discuss marriage again because the guy is a guy and he knows what he wants. he will never allow you to push him because he his using his head to make calculation while you are using your head to talk marriage. afterall, what will you be eating after marriage. se naaa sex you go dey shop? baby, there are more things for a guy in life than rushing to get married. the guy might love you so dearly. this happened to me and my girl ran away even though i loved her so much. guess what she married the wrong guy and she is blaming herself now. for real take your time and use your head to make calculations. cheers

he might just be like me. i don't eat outside even in my relatives house. this is as a result of reflex action within even when am damn hungry. so just take your time. and if he his not still eating you can place a vacancy on nairaland and am sure you will those that will eat your food and even steal your food under the stand. cheers

i saw Yaradua on top Remi Tinubu here in Germany and Remi screaming aloud

@clemskull

i hope you will think twice and realized that i have allowed you to rest in peace. anyway just know that SAM did it and he was frustrated out as moderator. so think twice again and let the sleepin dog lie

i know you are the first person that goes to school in your family and you have been repeating a class for a very long time. Anyway Unipetrol is employing dull head like you. and step up from Feyingbole Grammar School. Cheers

@ayusman

uhm, small pikin sha

@tufe

not yabbing you just a compliment

@ayusman

i can't blame you, i can only blame those that allow you to stay so long in a class even you are not comprehending. Anyway i won't join words with you because i have instructed my doctor to phone one of his collegue to recall you to ARO abeokuta for special medulla oblongata test. just follow his advice or else you might be forced out of nairaland very soon.

@tufe
decision is yours to make. but i know you have not stayed more than once in a class.

@clemt
you wan start again. think twice

@ ayusman

I thought you will start jam talking like OBJ wey dey shout third term. I would have shown you how we did bury third term. Anyway try dey read instruction because i see say you b big yahoo yahoo yahoo man. WAEC go don make money for your hand well well. hope you no dey carry yahoo yahoo over.

@ayusman

At times i felt like not reacting to some replies but yours is exceptional. your case is just like a mumu that was given an expo during WAEC and told how he was to use it. After the exam he came out jubilating and celebrating making mouth to his friends and boasting. then all of a sudden in the middle of nowhere a lady pop up and ask her whether he reads the instruction on the expo before answering thequestions. that was when he realised the instructions says shade in reverse order. Do you know what the guy called himself ; guess and of course my own guess is this [size=20pt]FOOL[/size]

A husband wrote the following letter for his wife and left it on the dining room table:

'To My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being
54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset - I shall be home before midnight.'

When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:

'My Dear Husband, I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being
54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile and like your secretary, is
18 years old. As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference - 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow

I found this joke for all nairalander. is not my joke so pls, hold things like ctrl c and ctrl v. cheers.

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a
surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father
was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm
off now. The man should be here soon.'

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. 'Good morning,
Ma'am', he said, 'I've come to, '

'Oh, no need to explain,' Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, 'I've been
expecting you.'

'Have you really?' said the photographer. 'Well, that's good. Did you
know babies are my specialty?'

'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have
a seat'.

After a moment she asked, blushing, 'Well, where do we start?'

'Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room
floor is fun. You can really spread out there.'

'Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry
and me!'

'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if
we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven
angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'

'My, that's a lot!', gasped Mrs. Smith.

'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be
In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with
that.'

'Don't I know it,' said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of
his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.

'Oh, my God!' Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider
their mother was so difficult to work with.'

'She was difficult?' asked M rs. Smith.

'Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the
job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get
a good look'

'Four and five deep?' said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.

'Yes', the photographer replied. 'And for more than three hours, too.
The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly
concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had
to pack it all in.'

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. 'Do you mean they actually chewed on your,
uh, equipment?'

'It's true, Ma'am, yes, Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my
tripod and we can get to work right away.'

'Tripod?'

'Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much
too big to be held in the hand very long.'

Mrs. Smith fainted !

@sam milla

oh, so you have such a good contribution inside.

gbogbo eni oloyinbo biti opere yi, e je ko ra yin kuro ni oju iwe yi abi eyin ko mo iwe ka rara ni. e ma so oyinbo bi ti opere be ti won ba bi yin ninu idanwo odo bi oju eja le ma gbo. eyin otondo. eje ki awa ra wa ri ra wa. gbo ile sw wa pa loni se ise ogba omi ju? ka ji re o.

hope is not a family problem. How is your mother in-law doing to you.

my guy, i don't really know how much you worth in terms of penny stock, but i know i worth so much that i can comfortably buy 3 honder baby boy in terms of penny stock. see some years ago precisly 2005, AP stock stood at N48 and people were running away from it. Thank God i bought so much while i was serving. Now go and check the price. Also I bought Vitafoam Stock at 7.42 in 2003, by 2006 it went down to N4.25 and stood there for so long. I kept buying and buying now go and check the price. If i have 200,000.00 today i will buy transcorp. i don't your analyst but me am cool with that in the nearest future it will be hot cake

@ poster

Don't let anybody deceive you. just know that " in every trash there will always be a hidden treasure". The richiest america shoe factory saw sandal in indan and not poverty that he collegue saw then. And he invested in the future. My brother you have just invested in your future and the future of your children. Mike Adenuga paid so much non refundable fee for GSM license initially with Abdulsalam yet it was revoke by Obansanjo. A friend encourages him to re invest and he did now we are shouting Glo with pride. But my little advice for you is that don't rush to do things. A journey of million years start with single step they say.

donchichi:
Oops!! I struck a nerve. C'mon guys, you can't take a joke again or wot?

my guy, just to make you more tight. we are one