₦airaland Forum

Jerrygotswagg: Girl: Honey i need 5 tins from you
Guy: Ask me anytin dear
Girl : 1) need money for brazillian hair, just 45,000 naira
2)need to change my bb to a bold 5, just 96,000 naira
3) honey i want to rent a new apartment near my school, its just 175,000 naira a year
4) i need to buy a my creams, perfume, powder, just 53,000 naira
5)finally honey u know i love , i need money to send to my dad
Guy:jesus, u mean u have a father
Girl: yes na
Guy tinking of wat to do or say, please readers help me out

Approach your bank for a soft loan, I hear interest rates are not applicable at islamic banks

You can use your 'bulockoz' as collateral (shebi na wetin cause the debt be dat)

Erm Dani, I can't understand why anytime I click on busyanus's threads, my phone seems to crash and restart itself.

Are his jokes that contagious

WTF!

Stevsmog: How does this souund to ur hearing; It's not been long when we do hear of woman empowerment. Our dear president said that it can be possible for a woman to rule this country. Not quite long our first lady has turn to be the president of Africas' first lady.How will you feel if you hear that sooner than later she has commence campagn to become the next GCON.

Welcome. You have really arrived

Na wah o!

Who threaded this post on this segment nah?

Na wah. Some drivers still use that high speed brake and swerve stunt to kill crossing snakes too.

yeah. and i agree with you on the fact that driving a car with auto transmission is a very delicate affair. i believe that it is a major cause of reckless accidents on our highways.

haa .. im sure that experience has made its impact on your driving since then.

did you observe what made the toyota slam into you? was it a pothole or traffic?

abi was he trying to kill fly?

im in owerri and i have a tour to swap. how can we see?

i am in warri. how can we see?

i have the game on my hard drive. i will collect 5k to come over to benin and give the game to you. you can then resell it as you wish. i am at warri.

lukkie: Use the emergency brake (handbrake). That's what it's meant for. Though your car manual should tell you its limits.
Some people also say you should turn off the ignition while leaving the car in gear (manual tranny). I don't know about automatic though. Google will help if you really need expert advice.

thanx for that. yeah the handbrake should work fine only that there is a certain speed at which it would be considered suicidal.

i also heard about switching off the ignition of the car(manual transmission) from someone but i also need to know if i must TAKE MY FOOT ENTIRELY OFF THE CLUTCH WHILE/AFTER I SWITCH OFF THE ENGINE for this style to work? also would'nt this cause the car to lose balance and control while it is being done? because the tires will lock up and the speed of the vehicle can turn the car into a cannon ball once it goes bad

[quote author=str8_talk]My advice to nairaland moderators is to put more effort in publishing topics dat add more value to our socio-political lives and not dissipating unnecessary energy in things dat hv little or no importance to d ordinary Nigerians. Most topics dat r published here just junks![/quote]my bother i feel you.

most front page topics today are meant to attract traffic to the website hence the nature of sh1t we see here these days. plus the fact that a lady is involved in the assesment of the chosen topics which influence how small talk and gossips now get to the front page.

NL was not like this once upon a time.

today if you go into the various sections of this website you would still encounter powerful and insightful topics and threads which can engage the mind.

unfortunately for some reasons our mods have not observed them.

LET THE MODS GO BACK THE LAST 5 YEARS AND PICK SOME TOPICS THAT ARE MEANINGFUL instead of giving us small talk notifications on our phones and pc. THEY CAN HIDE THE UNWANTED POSTS ON THAT THREAD AND BRING IT HERE FOR US TO TALK AND LEARN ABOUT.

what concerns me with 'FANTASY' boyfriend and girlfriend talk? so if i should go and fabricate a story of "why nigerian women dont wanna date mikel obi" it will get to the front page abi?

ok then . . . i'm off to work on it

google cant giv me what i want. i need someone with experience to tell me how to do it. any information i get here from a seasoned driver can save my life in the future so i dare not joke with it.

I ALSO GOT TO KNOW THAT MY DAD MANAGED THAT CAR WITHOUT BRAKES FOR A WEEK, SADLY A WEEK IS JUST THE TIP OF THE ICEBERG FOR MOST DIVERS ON NIGERIAN ROADS TODAY. SOME PEOPLE TAKE MORE THAN A MONTH TO FIX ISSUES WITH THEIR VEHICLES BRAKES AND THIS IS A MAJOR CAUSE OF ACCIDENTS ON OUR ROADS.

please if you are among the few that do this, try to park that car first and find time/money to repair it.TODAY.

Also i want to ask this question. HOW CAN ONE STOP A VEHICLE, MOVING AT AROUND 50 - 60KMPH, UNDER 10 SECONDS, WITHOUT USING ANY BRAKES?

Any contributions?

that was where i made the mistake, i went to the place and chilled with my pals. I wanted to return home and was going alone when it happened.

I was approaching a hold up at around 50 - 60kmph. All the cars around me were slowing down, i then applied my brakes, once . . . Twice . . . Three times . . . I even did it Repeatedly but Nothing. I was literally flying into the hold up. In summary i TOTALLED that car and almost lost my life if not for the seat belt i had on.

That day my brakes acted up just once before it failed me. I later got to learn that my dad observed the same , hence his reason for leaving it that day.

MANY DRIVERS ON OUR ROADS ARE CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING SUCH PROBLEMS. THEY ARE FACELESS, BOTH FRIENDS AND STRANGERS ALIKE. SO LET US BE CAREFULL BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE HAVE CAR PROBLEMS AND MANAGE THEIR CARS WITHOUT WANTING TO DO ANY THING ABOUT IT.

let me use my case as a study. I have previously been involved in 2 different auto accidents. Both were caused by ' BRAKE FAILURE' (check improper car maintainance above) and the first of those my ordeals involved me but was not CAUSED by me, so i would not talk about that specific one.

The second one was all my fault, so i will use that as my own case scenario.

My dad always took his 504 car to work everyday and one day just decided to switch to our second car,a BMW one early wednesday morning. I immediately pounced on the 504 and took it out for a ride once my dad had gone out for the day.

Back then i was rather immature and the only stuff i knew to check in the engine of a car was its radiator water level. I took off with the car and picked up a few friends to join me on the way.

As we neared an intersection, i noticed that i had to step on my brakes twice before it worked. I just ignored this crucial warning and thought that it was a jinx of some sort and we continued on our way.

most of us drive cars although not up to 30% of our road users have ever had an accident before and not up to 5% of that number have ever had & escaped a fatal car crash.

Let us use our personal experiences to warn/teach other road users of some 'out of the box' dangers of driving in Nigeria.

Some common causes of accidents that we are aware of are

lack of proper car maintainance
bad roads
the habits of other drivers on the road
& lack of auto education or 'luck'

. . .

Konnektions146: oblivion no man,
wedding de lady,

amen

i am also on the way to becoming the next UN SEC GEN

Konnektions146: he is doin dat already..

doing what?

Heading to oblivion?

the joke should have gone this way : -

in class there was a quiz and the teacher was pointing to a boy on the last row

TEACHER: hey you, stand up and mention two PRONOUNS

BOY (STANDING UP SLUGGISHLY, pointing to his chest and LOOKING CONFUSED): WHO? ME?

TEACHER: thats very good, you may sit




of course the formula to this joke is that both 'who' and 'me' are pronouns

op has a nice joke here, but he was testing his keyboard with it

[quote author=Okija_juju]I just fell in love with you all over again... #NO HOMO!!

My fiancee's gross salary per annum is way higher than mine by almost 5 million Naira, but our monthly take home, mine is greater by about 150,000... She handles my accounts, has my tokens, knows the passwords to all my emails and as soon as we get married would become my next of kin and co signatory to all my accounts..

Thats why its called a marriage.. not just boyfriend & Girlfriend..[/quote]if what you just posted here is true

then you bought a one way ticket, entered the train and are on the fastlane to oblivion

there is a HUGE line between a fiance and a wife. Guy you need to trust only yourself. You just cant hand over all those info to your girlfriend or fiance just like that . . . Dont you have a family member you could trust with it?

Better hurry up and wed that girl so that you would have a destination in your relationship

in a marriage the wife should inform her husband of her pay package likewise the husband.

The reson for this is not love or ego or lies e.t.c

it is done simply to enable the couple PLAN THEIR FINANCIAL LIVES together which would concern them, their kids, their families, their investments e.t.c

that is the #1 advantage for doing this

the seemingly numerous disadvantages only come into play IF YOU HAVE MARRIED A BAD CHARACTERED LADY as your wife

good luck

usermane: i agree with u, video games in ninja are very scarce to find,only available are the top selling ones. Good games of the past are scarce to find. I believe that ps2 have some cool games you cant get on ps3 perhaps for now but here in ninja u rarely find them, i guess the sellers dont know that games don't wear out or fade as clothes do

these days you wont find much interesting ps2 games in alaba on pirated dvd's. Just go to the seller and request to see his stock of original game cd's and you will still find hit titles there.

An original ps2 dvd will cost around 1k in the market today (second hand of course)

Junior360: My horror game has always been RE. But if it's about the zombies, Resident Evil Outbreak File 1 & 2 (ps2) for me are the best in the zombie series. 3rd person view, great graphics and other cool features. There are several characters to choose from but the star character is Chris Redfield. Too bad that game is no more in naija that I only got the pirated cd which was faulty, so I couldn't finish it.

my brother i totally agree with you. Outbreak is still my best resident evil game.

I enjoy the freedom that the game offers, you get help from other characters and can escape the scenerio any way you feel possible. Enough random stages, creatures, monsters, zombies and bosses . . . Sweet !

I wonder when capcom will do a remake of the game on ps3

Wislet: bro...ur veins are popping out.
U might want to take it easy

my dear why wouldnt my veins break out?

if you manage to view my own inbox you will understand that this which you call a JOKE is actually someone elses MIRROR

but it is well

Wislet: bro...ur veins are popping out.
U might want to take it easy

my dear why wouldnt my veins break out?

if you manage to view my own inbox you will understand that this which you call a JOKE is actually someone elses MIRROR

but it is well

ha ha ha

'son of bitch'

hillarious

@op thumbz app

nice joke @op you try

@op i am an advocate of literacy

therefore i recommend a tiny book called STUDENT COMPANION for you

visit your nearest bookshop (or cheaper still MILE 2 UNDER BRIDGE) for your copy N O W !