₦airaland Forum

@dyt: STOP DAT! i believe itz time to change dat ya weave on

^^ r u a philosopher in search of d truth? well 'there ya go', u can rest ur troubled and confused mind now okay

^^ i can see u r still clutching dat ogogoro bottle, is this how you kick start your day or your BRAIN? diz one wey u nor sabi simple mathematics again. i have a simple prescription for your ailment , STAND UP, SPIN AROUND 20 TIMES THEN JUMP UP AND 'KONK' YOUR LEFT EYE IN THE AIR. pls dnt forget to smile after it all okay. AJIBOLE wey break egg CHOP THE SHELL trowey the inside. mschew!

^^ yep i heard, a very "s l o w & gentle" man indeed.

There was this nympho girl that was left alone for sometime because her boyfriend traveled. She needed sex so badly that she went to a babalawo for remedy. The babalawo (after some incantations)gave her a nice smooth stick and told her that anytime she needed servicing she should say "juju stick chuk my t0t0" and it will start, then to stop it she should say "juju stick hold it". She thanked the jazzman and took her new toy home. She started using it immediately and it was soo sweet that she forgot the magic words to stop it. So she got dressed and limped to her doctors office for help. After narrating her experience to the doctor (while still vibrating from the effects of the juju stick) the doctor looked hard at her after laughing and said "you this lady you are verry funny oh, coming into my office this early morning to disturb me with this your yeye story , JUJU STICK MY ARZE" , chei !!






and told her that

^^ thanx. dnt mind those other guyz, they r high on CODINE , very - very - s l o w

^^ no ohh, u are supposed to SHOUT, CRY AND POUR ASHES ON YOUR HEAD. u no go keep that shekpe wey u dey drink this kain early kpai kpai

^^ spoken with true experience by a 13th CENTURY MUMMY! Drop a line and stop criticsizin boi

^^
it waznt d woman, it waz her dog that did this thing to me. a fellow krazce informed me dat if i manage to catch dat dog and bite it back this my condition will be either alliviated or worstned, left 4 me i luv my mentality just the way it is right now thank u

happy are guyz without babes , for they shall flex THE WHOLE OF THEIR SALARY COMPLETE!

^^ since nah, abi na so ur brain slow? u drink BENYLIN? no allow me start with u oh

look up , look down , look left , look right . restart your brain 5 times then open your pant , roll your eyes and smile , HILARIOUS!!!

One day a goat and a chicken were walkin down the road and a car drove by and splashed water on them. The chicken said "see how they drive like goats" and the goat said "yes, and because of that they die like chickens"

Yo mama so fat, when she goes to silverbird cinemas to watch a movie, SHE SITS NEXT TO EVERYBODY!

Thank you for the heads up. There is one 'ÒDÉ' called Remo that clears cess pits on my street ,  check your lineage, i believe you are related to him.

Pls MOD dont lock my thread again , they 'yab me' nd i 'yab back' then u lock my thread IS IT FAIR? i know Jesus said we shuld 'turn the other cheek' but na wah oh , As i don turn the second cheek and more continues to come shuld i then 'open y-a-n-s-h'? NO NAH!

Well this is the continuation of my thread, now its STRICTLY JOKES
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DOCTOR: madam i have just finished the autopsy of your late husband and i am really confused.
WOMAN: why doctor?
DOCTOR: well it is confirmed that your husband died of 'over excitement' and 'excess fatigue', and It is very peculiar in my profession for someone to die of such vices at an advanced age of 96, so madam can you please explain to me exactly how your husband died?
WOMAN: oh doctor, we just wanted to have some fun. It had been quite some time and we wanted to have sex again, we knew that age was not on our side anymore so my husband decided to 'ROCK' to the rhythm of our bed side clocks bell. Oh doctor, if not for that stupid 'ICE CREAM TRUCK' that passed our bedroom window my husband would still be alive today. lol
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Prov. 119 vs. 69: Happy r those who dont hav babes, For they shall flex THE WHOLE OF THEIR POCKET MONEY.

Who locked my thread? Why did that person lock my thread? Please free my thread for me, It is the only thread i have on NL. @dani abeg.ii promise 2 turn a new leaf okay. @ben. Help me beg am, na him do me this strong thing.

@efemena_xy: that stuff u do is good, i love and respect charity virtues in people but are thing dat people do in d name of CHARITY that vexes me, How can a popular charity group in visit kirikiri and after praying for the inmates proceed to share CONDOMS, WALL CLOCKS, UNIVERSAL CHARGERS, UMBRELLAS, SUN GLASSES in fact i don tire to dey mention dem. I hope you are not among such a group because one day the inmates dem go collect una join as una name be CHARITY. By the way my name no b kelechi, Before u begin tell people say u been share TELESCOPE give me for cell that year.


@onyeoshi: shebi ur guy name b SUDAN? See as u open mouth na him Harmatten BREEZE blow for d whole of NL. U wear only ur dirty pant dey flex your CHIN CHIN muscle for this thread. Na so u drink finish dat day go brothel come carry ur GRAND MAMA MATE go 4k dey fantasize say na my beautiful mumsy u dey with, if dem ask u later u go talk say na ur SUGAR GREAT GRAND MUMMY b dat abi? I don sabi say una go like to dey lick SAWA SUGAR for una family. See, GO OUTSIDE THAT CAVE YOU CALL A HOUSE, YOU SEE THAT TRANSFORMER BESIDE THAT ASHAWO JOINT IN FRONT OF YOUR STREET, good, now jump up and make sure you head butt the FEEDER PILLAR beside it. I been carry your name go synagogue and T.B himsef tell me say na wetin go cure you be dat. Run go do am now wey nepa dey so e go work sharply. Thank me in the afterlife. See dis guy oh, BARAWO wey break coconot finish CHOP THE FIBRE throwey the inside.

OH MIGHTY MODS, WHERE ART THOU?

@iice: ìyà lecturer , when you have finished dancing round and round like a bee trying to show its hive members where food is , you should then 'return back to earth' and scrutinize the subject post of this thread then answer accordingly. WHICH OF THE TWO FILMS DO YOU PREFER AND IF YOU WERE EITHER JACK OR ROSE WHAT WOULD YOUR ACTIONS HAVE BEEN. and dont tell me you do not remember the films , that will be a blatant lie. Left for me i prefer the romeo and juliet because the two love birds died. It is very painful to lose a loved one especially when that person loves you back. We should kuku die together and go where we will act the part two of our sweet love.

@Efemena_xy: have you visited any cell or prison before? I am sure you have not because if you did you will find out MORE THAN HALF of the inmates in there will swear on their unborn childrens graves that they are INNOCENT. so in essence, YES you should also be thrown in there (did i mention that there will be a panel to resolve WAKA PASS issues) but you shouldn't worry much sha, you know that the FEMALE WARD WILL BE MORE HABITABLE THAN THE MALES.

@onyeasi abi ONYEOSHI: why u nor dey hear word? abi na 2 plug funnel 4 ur ear b4 u go recieve d jerk say u nor suppose dey abuse people like me? u don join ur yeye godfather dey campaign 4 d post of 'TOSHIBA' for the section wey dem wan create abi? Try give urself brain oh, as u don show us say d D&C wey ur mama been do dat year no click, e go don pain dem wella say na only ur brain been commot 4 d mata dat year, TUFIAKWA! ATURU LIKE YOU

@poster: ok. so why are you telling us? what do you want us to do for you? Should we recommend another babe for you to marry? SEE, NO MAKE ME VEX FOR YOU OH!

@op: so you no see better situation to open your full worth to that your babe, na because of 'hair' abi? , well, she has cooked and you have eaten

dont say much oh, only tell her you went for test and you were positive for HIV, in fact tell her that you have full blown AIDS. when she goes for her own test and she is negative just watch how she will take off.

if i am searching for a babe to have a platonic relationship with then i will go for the REALLY VERY UGLY AND WORWOR TYPES. at least the temptation will be at a minimal and other girls will think that she is trying to hook me by fire by force.

GIGGLED- yes , SMILED- well well , "CLUTCHED HANDS BETWEEN HIS THIGHS" !!! - guy stop it at once. is that the posture you assume while viewing romance movies? i dont roll like that okay. geez :-/

To say the truth i do not know what 'word filter' is or means, can you please explain it to me? , but if you are going to make reference to the word i used earlier (F.O.O.L) then please be aware that the 'subject' of that word also mentioned something similar in his own contribution, i hope you are not biased , maybe it is something else sha because i will be really pissed if it is what i think it is.

I think that the garden of eden was the whole world and that anywhere adam or eve went they met friendly animals, green grass, fresh water, trees with rise fruits, etc. And i think that the forbidden fruit that was planted is actually SEXUAL INTERCOURSE.

@iice: so you have brought the issue of CHIVALRY into the equation eh, Very clever of you. But what of the 'LADY'S FIRST SYNDROME'? does it not also imply that the guy should allow the lady in into the water and DIE first?