₦airaland Forum

Since those that were unable to get admission into any university formed JAMB. Very soon those that are regular customers of waec will form their own.

Na dat kind big snake d man wan take pursue him tenant. D lanlord wicked sha

What abt dis. During subsidy saga.

Some pple dey find awoof money dis 2013

KweenAdz: Madame Captain Patience Sparrow!!! Lolzzzzz... Dt hat resemble Jack Sparrow hat oh! Lolzz... Ds woman looks lyk a clown to me...

u got me cracking

Toto decay first appearance on Nairaland in 2013. *clappin*.

Years come n go,but this year I specially wish 4 u a
double dose of health n happiness topped with loads of
good fortune. Have a gr8 year ahead! HAPPY NEW
YEAR NAIRALANDERS!!!

#Speechless#

Choi! RIP Otolo.

#speechless#

(1) I learnt new words/phrases.
(2) I learnt how to insult/criticise pple without remorse.
(3) I learnt that some Nigerians are bigots.
(4) I learnt how to avoid being scammed.
(5) I learnt that anything that involves tonto dikeh will make front page.
(6) I also have a good laugh.
Seriously u guys are funny. GOD Bless Nigeria. GOD Bless Oluwaseun Osewa. GOD Bless me. Long Live Nairaland.

YUCATAN – Mayan scholars have updated their
doomsday prophecy. The world will end in 2015, not
2012.Oops…. They made a mistake. There’s good news
for those who were fearing the 2012 Mayan
apocalypse. They counted wrong. The world is not
going to end in December 2012. Instead, it’s going to
end on September 3, 2015. Update your daily planners!
A new critique, published as a chapter in the new
textbook “Calendars and Years: Astronomy and Time in
the Ancient and Medieval World” argues that the
accepted conversions of dates from Mayan to the
modern calendar are off. This coupled with a new book,
“We Are All Going To Die In 2015″ by Fritz Barnkopf are
rewriting the Mayan doomsday playbook that has been
popularized in our culture over the last ten years.
The problem was discovered when researchers realized
the Mayan calendar was converted to today’s Gregorian
calendar using an erroneous calculation called the GMT
constant, named for the last initials of three early
Mayanist researchers.
But the GMT constant is completely bogus. “The Mayan
researchers of the past twenty years put too much stock
in the GMT,” said Mayan expert Robert Wannamaker.
“They probably were chewing on too many cocoa
leaves. The fact is that the GMT constant is 2 years and
271 days off. We’ve proven that conclusively hear at
The Scripps Institute.”
The apocalypse is now delayed. This is a stunning blow
to all the merchandisers that were seeking to capitalize
on the “end-of-world” prophecy BEFORE the world ends.
“Man, I was selling all sorts of 2012 doomsday
paraphernalia. Now, I gotta go back and make it all
again for 2015. It’s a real drag,” said 2012 fanatic, Judd
Barkley.
Hollywood is jumping right on the 2015 bandwagon.
Producers are lining up to make the 2012 sequel, 2015.
“It’s great for us,” said Producer Tracey Barnham. “I
hope that they extended it again in a few years, so we
can keep this franchise going.”
Not likely. Mayan researchers are unanimous on the
end-of-world data. The world will disappear in 2015.
You might want to plan accordingly.

weeklyworldnews.com/headlines/23938/end-of-the-world-postponed/

A-ZeD:
You are a very selfish person and part of the reason Nigeria is in this mess. So because you benefited, it means the woman is a saint abi? Incase you don't know, people have also benefited from Sambo being VP...

Don't mind the person. Someone stole billions and gave u tens/hundreds of thousand and u are here spewing trash. Chai brainwashed fellow

Kikinki: @ Berem.i have benefitted cos of her transparency and i gave no bribe.i have never gotten anything from Nigerian government but my propsal was approved and money released..

So u sef don chop out d national cake wey ur aunty NOI steal abi. No wonder wey ur mouth dey run any how. SMH!

Crankshaft: Dating is a process whereby two bodies of different masses m1 and m2 will experience a force of attraction because they have disimilar charges. +ve and -ve. The centripetal force during this period tend to attract them to the centre, at constant angular velocity though there might be element of centrifugal force trying to pull them apart, but the momentum in which the bodies exchange is inelastic until a threshold is reached. At this point steady state could be attend. Marriage sets in and the two bodies will move with a common velocity. In summary, dating is a quasi-static process whereby two people with different chemical potentials try to coexit. Reason for dating: To approach equilibrium.

Guy take am easy na. E be like say ur papa na Einstein. I no get dictionary of physics to look up all those terms.

Gala and chi happy hour

Dazl: am guilty of that

Women are natural liars. Bt Men learn to lie.

fankasibe: I can't woo a girl in the church coz' i will have dis feeling like God is saying 'you dis stupid boy why must u enter into my holy house and distract one of my committed servant'

This is d right answer to your question

one of the first lessons every parent teaches their children is do not talk or accept anything from strangers and even in the case of people that you know , you are warned to always say no thank you , I just cant understand how an adult who should know better can fall for this.

even on a normal day without it being a scam , i wont even collect jack talk less of something edible from someone i don't know, even if I'm offered out of courtesy no matter how you insist, i might collect it out of courtesy but there is no way on earth I will eat or drink it.

c'mon people , we have become too careless, these are desperate times, let us try to be aware of our surroundings and take extra care of ourselves[/quote]Best comment so far

Ben 10 wrist watch

valicious1: Almighty law ~ a girl would dissapoint you when u've made every possible preparations & arrangements to fvck her but when ur mind is totally outta her & u're busy with something very important', dats wen ur phone rings, "baby am so Hot, can I come over 2 ur place?". FUUUUK U BiATcH !!! Am busy. GO fvck yaself.

This is sooooooo true.

jehovahnoni: Hmm guy,,,see my two cents....,,,,i go advice u..no tink am...no b girls ?,,if u first de come..dem go look u,scan u,survey u and screen u wit dat deir electrocuted eyes....dem go kill ur courage..dem go examine d pros n cons wey de ur body,,,come fear eye language and gossip na..see as e go b......
Nkechi:Joy c dis boy wey de come
Joy:wetin e wan come do?
Sarah:he wan come meet Becky
Becky:God forbid...see him ogo..e b like yam
Nkechi:but dis guy na waooh,,he wan come talk story
Sarah:to who??who go hear him lie lie ??..see how he de waka come sef
Joy:see as him b sef...chaii!!...but i like him swagg sha
Mayb u don come approach d girl wey u like she kon happen to b Becky,,as u kon de talk to am...come fear anoda gossip....
Sarah:shebi i say he wan come meet becky
Nkechi:and she say Godforbid,,now God don bid am
Joy:no mind her..she don like d guy o,,,see d guy teeth sef..,,dis one go get money so??
Sarah:see him dressing na,,he fit get small





Hope u get me,,,approach her wen shes alone to save urself from dis kind things .

. LWKMD

I had the same xperience when I was younger. My dad criticized me a lot and my mom was no xception. Now, I can't even relate with anybody cos of fear of criticism and rejection. Very soon I will be done with my studies I don't want to go back living with them. Even though my parents have been looking for avenues to make it up to me. It's just too late. The emotional wound is just too deep.

Don't we ever learn in this country. When people commit a crime(s) all we do is start religious/tribal wars instead of us to learn a lesson to avoid re-occurrence. This kind of mentality will not make us move forward in this country. While you are here on NL bashing each other your leaders are carting away your money. Shm

Na wa oo! see as fellow Nairalanders dey murder English. My belle nearly burst from laughing. Anyway, the correct translation is "what is our age difference".

dear nairalanders, I need your take on this one. Which profession do u think is better. Engineering or medicine? Explanation is needed pls on the one u choose.

I doubt if GEJ could even rule over his own family let alone being made a president. The guy is hopeless joor

You people are all HYPOCRITES! Aren't you people the ones condemning the lynching of the uniport students on oct-05 now you are here again supporting and displaying your animalistic idiocracy. What gives you the assurance that those people were actually "one chance folks". Even if they were the best thing is to hand them over to the police and let them do their duty. "DON'T WE EVER LEARN" mtcheeeeeew!