₦airaland Forum

TQ – bye bye baby (deals with death, not break-up)

Blackstreet – Don’t leave me

Nsync – bye bye bye

Justin Timberlake – Cry me a river

R.Kelly – Turn back the hands of time.

Jazzman Olofin – Angelina

K-Ci & Jojo - Girl.

Michael Learns to Rock – That’s why you go away.

Mariah carey feat. Ja Rule – If we.

Elton John & Leon Russell – If it wasn’t for bad.

Boyz II men – On the road again.

Boyz II men – Good guy.

Deborah Cox – September. (not sure if this qualifies tho')

Wow, I am shocked.

This is indeed a welcome development.

On to the next one ...

Rule 26: If she cheated with you, she will cheat on you.

Find something else to occupy your time, or chase other chicks.

Maybe they didn’t find the marriage qualities in the beautiful ones they dated. In the end, a man has to be true to himself, particularly when it has to do with long-term commitment.
Marriage takes something more than physical beauty to hold it together. ‘cos with time, everything fades away and everything is meaningless.

Yes, I have noticed it, and now I understand it.

Nice one, this is encouraging.

In fact, he is my new role model.

Lol, the guy is tight.

I'm glad you didn't give it up to him. There are still good ones out there, though they might be scarce, but if you are patient, you'll find one.

Oh well, according to the holy books, hell can never be full. In fact, it is described as ever enlarging "Therefore hell hath enlarged herself, and opened her mouth without measure: and their glory, and their multitude, and their pomp, and he that rejoiceth, shall descend into it". (Isaiah 5:14 KJV)

My view; love is meant for courtship, and when marriage enters, reality sets in. Therefore, it is important to find something greater than love to hold a marriage together.

^^^kk, no shaking, hope you won’t use the lyrics on someone soon.

French Montana feat. Juicy Jay and Project Pat – you need haters.

queensmith: The same naija attitude associated with misogyny, homophobia, moral bankruptness and bigotry. I will rather not thank you very much.

There you go, judging me before knowing me.

queensmith: To add, students from universities like oxford and cambridge are more likely to be 'out of the box' thinkers, thats the calibre of individuals expected from russel group universities. That's the whole point of them, it doesn't mean someone who isn't from those universities can't make it. You'd just have to try much harder, (or find the nearest ethnic minority programme to give you a boost ).

Right, I’m sensing it’s about security with you, if I’m wrong and it has to do with ‘out of the box thinking’, then my humble self can take you beyond the borders of ‘box thinking’, and lead to an out of the box ‘thinking induced’ climax in the process.

Ethnic minority programme, now why didn’t I think of that? I guess I prefer the hard knock life, lol.

queensmith: A horse from an ivy league institution has taken him or herself to the water, it's a big reflection on who you are, you cannot deny this.

True, but it’s not about starting (getting to the water), but also finishing (drinking to your fill) which is why I originally asked what you’ve done with the knowledge.

Quoting 50 cent ‘in high school you was the man hommie, the f*** happened to you’. Modifying it to ‘in university ranking you was the man hommie, the f*** happened to you’.

queensmith: Are you trying to say a succesful project requires a complementary mix of bad and good? What about good and better?

In that context, yes I am, except you want me to say it in pidgin.

Moreover, I didn’t say good and bad, but strengths and weaknesses. You can’t use good and bad as humans are inherently flawed. Looking at it spiritually, we come into this world with one fist closed (natural childbirth) and when we die of natural causes, we open our fist. Life happens between those two instances when we supposedly release whatever we had in that fist. (Call it purpose, destiny, strengths, talents, whatever)

Back to the team yarns, they call this the ‘synergistic effect’, look at it like two meshing gears (sorry for the technical bit) where the peak represents strength and the trough represents weakness. The strength of one individual complements the weakness of the other and so forth leading to rotational motion, which in this case would be a harmonious existence.

queensmith: I absolutely disagree with you, whether or not you attended a russel group institution you should be able to appreciate the fact that the graduates are more socially refined.

We can disagree to agree, and then disagree again.
The higher performing graduates from such are usually socially awkward, I listened to an iTunes podcast a few years ago on the Cambridge boat racing team – I can reference it for you when I get home. Before they could get them to perform, it was a woman who had to calm them down as they were all intellectually sound, so could not give in to each other’s decision.

queensmith: I don't believe for one second my husband needs to come from an 'other' school to balance my relationship, I think the notion is ridiculous.

I meant you should not limit yourself to just one type of University for a potential mate, but look at the man in question. How his strengths and weaknesses complement yours. Not focus on the type of University.
Believe me, I’m also learning from you, just as much as you are learning from me. There is no right answer, just different points of view. It is still your life, just as much as it is mine.

queensmith: Besides the academic excellence you have students from enhanced backgrounds, students with cultural capital, not the rubbish you come across every day in the 'others'.

There you go again, judging us, the poor old ‘others’. How about 2pac – dropped out of high school, has a stature in Germany due to his lyrical prowess; Steve Wosniak & Steve Jobs – withdrew from School, both contributed to the microcomputer revolution with Apple; plus many others.

queensmith: You see you wouldn't be coming up with that if you went to oxford would you?

Hahaha, cheeky you, but nice one.

queensmith: I believe people need to say what the must to feel better about themselves. Going to a good uni doesn't guarantee anything, it just assures me to some extent that he/she has been in a better environment than most and has no excuse to be a nonsense individual. However I won't really place much blame on someone that hasn't, we are all products of our environments right?

Finally, we are on the same page even though I don’t believe we are products of our environment.

The environment can influence you positively or negatively, but you ultimately have that choice. You hear stories of people who came from terrible environments (ghettos and the likes), yet they still made something of their lives. So, all in all your environment does not determine what you become, you do.

I’m tired of all this analysis, why don’t we hook up to discuss more, then let nature take it’s course. What say you?

I would like to thank miss … for letting me know my call was returned (2 days later), over numerous male callers.

^^^ nice track, but has long since become a national anthem. In fact, the fast forward button comes in handy whenever I happen to land on it.

Currently listening to ‘The Blues Album’ recommended by my boss – a collection of 70’s hits that inspired later generations.
Loving Little Feat’s track called Dixie Chicken, lol.

I guess it’s because we haven’t moved on with time, but rather choose to remain backward in some areas. We seem to dwell more on the past, whereas we should be looking towards the future, as we live in a fast-paced world.
We say ‘this is how it has always been done, so it is correct’ whereas we should be thinking how we can make things better.

This, of course has its advantages as well as disadvantages. Still, I think the negatives should be eliminated.

Chris Brown & David Guetta – Don’t wake me up

Give her some time to cool off, stop sending her messages or trying to reach her. Let her be the one to reach you this time around with her decision, good or bad.

You were obviously in the wrong; still, you cannot change a human being. Therefore, it’s better for you to be free of her now, than for you to re-unite and go a step further in future.

Most importantly, learn a lesson from this; your temper is one thing you can’t get back after you loose it. So, learn how to control your temper.

Theoretically, yes, practically, I’m not so sure. The whole world seems to be falling apart these days, the next generation will probably be worse.

Having said that, I have met older couples who swear they have been faithful to their partners.

^^^True, I thought I was the only one that noticed that.

The greatest enemy of Nigeria is still Nigerians.

Apologies for the late response, then again, commitment to Nairaland has never been one of my strong points.

queensmith: It's just from my experience that people who come from good universities are different. Less likely to be backwards or have all the traits I simply cannot stand.

The experience isn't purely about academics, they are less likely to to have the 'herd' mentality less likely to be bigoted and more likely to be open minded individuals with (what I consider) more important outlooks on life.

Not true, I guess it depends on the individual.
During the heat of the recession, I was lucky to have interned under a Senior Industrial Fellow of University of Cambridge, as part of a Government initiative to increase Engineering & Manufacturing productivity in SME’s.
It was not the training from a top University that helped, but my street sharp naija attitude (flexibility, openness to change), the ‘e go better’ spirit (positive outlook in the face of failure), and most importantly, the Man upstairs.
My point is “you can take a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink”, so having a fantastic qualification is not a prerequisite to exposure, rather it comes from within – an individual willing to see the world in a different light. Thus, the individual should take precedence over the ‘good university’.

queensmith: So my preference is based on this; I believe if I've worked hard to achieve the best out of life my husband has to be the same, otherwise he'd hold me back. Thats just the way it is.

Well, quoting my rather mischievous brother “a marriage is either a merger or an acquisition/hostile takeover”. In your case, you want a merger, which should be a team, No?
HRM laws require a mixture of personalities to form a winning team, where individual strengths complement each other. In Physics, it’s ‘like poles repel and unlike poles attract’ or some ish like that.
In conclusion, your husband shouldn’t necessarily be the same as you; rather he should complement you in such a way that you balance each other out. Vision wise, yes, but University wise, No. Then again, what does an ignorant nukka from a ‘not so good university’ know?

queensmith: Your educational background is part of what shapes you up to who you are, as an educated man you cannot have fulfillment from a dullard, you need someone that will appreciate your experiences and understand things from your point of you. Even if they don't agree with them. Not just illogically follow tradition or religion with no desires or ambitions of her own. Thats what education is about imo.

Now, this I can relate to.

queensmith: Lol, 99% oboi you have failed! :p

Hahahaha, they say “aim for the stars, and if you fail, you will land on the moon”. I’m afraid in your case you might miss the moon (the 99%) and hit planet earth at a rather alarming rate, lol.

queensmith: Actually the list was very tongue in cheek, I knew it will get alot of men boiling and wanted to show you how women feel when they write nonsense statements like 'she must be submissive and enjoy my rubbish sex'

Yeah, I guessed as much, still, I wanted to look into your mind – the engine seems to be running fine, but it might need a full service, lol.

queensmith: So like you, I don't overthink think things but if you were to overthink it your list won't be soo different to mine.

I agree with you totally, apart from the “good university” part. In fact, I think I’ll have me a ‘good university’ graduate for breakfast, lol.

They do, just that ‘they’ might be faithful to many ladies at the same time, lol.

queensmith: lol,

how exactly am i lazy? because im not slaving for anybody?

ah- what are we going to teach the children? if they want to be lazy they'll start telling me 'but daddy didnt do it and you married him' ah i cannot have my children thinking im a nonsense person.

Plus what dialogue can a woman have with a less educated man? Its important to share similar experiences, ambitions, educational backgrounds etc.

Hmm, now you got me interested. I get your point of view and respect it, but what do you have to offer? And I’m not talking about ‘I went to an Ivy league/Russell group University’, but rather how you have excelled in your field and what you have done with the knowledge.
Nigerians are so keen on acquiring degrees, that they forget that this knowledge came from other humans like them. It has been proven repeatedly that you do not need a degree to succeed in Life.

Plus, is it 100% pass mark or will 99.99999% do? I didn’t go to a Russell group university, but one of the ‘others’. However, I have successfully competed with graduates from such and beaten their sorry behinds in the process. Are you saying despite all this, I do not qualify?

@ Topic; I’m tired of over thinking it, I guess I’ll go with the flow and build myself up to a level, so if I get a dullard, the drive/fire in my eyes will see us through.

What is fantastic about that?

One thing that is constant in life is change, kingdoms rise and fall, what Africa should do is to position itself to benefit from the next ‘big player' since achieving this on it's own seems to be an impossibility.

tashanja: Don't know about the finger print testing method and doubt if such technique currently exists - though I could be wrong.

Oh sorry, I meant a finger-prick test not fingerprint, and yes, it does exist. It was last winter, but I was already sweating profusely from fear, after giving urine specimens, a shaft sample and blood specimens to wait 15 minutes for another test.

tashanja: The delay in your test result could have been due to the workload of the testing centre or in the method(s) used to perform the test e.g. Western-blot or involving PCR.

I’m sure they used all possible methods, as I was the only black person there that day, lol.

tashanja: Anyway, hope the result turned out negative, sha and that you would be more careful in future,

As for the result – NOT POSITIVE then, not so sure about now, lol. It will take me long before I forget those 2 weeks of torture, many promises I made to myself if the results were negative, whether I have fulfilled them is a whole other issue.

Pretty girls need love too…

Also, show me a pretty girl and I’ll show you someone who’s tired of being with her.

Sure, why not? They say what goes around comes back around; I believe this goes in line with Karma.

Asking for forgiveness also helps heal old wounds. Some females are hurt deeply because of maltreatment, getting them to forgive you restores their self-confidence, reassuring them of their worth.
I believe that’s why some repeatedly date people who mistreat them as they feel they deserve it/that’s their lot. Telling them you were in the wrong would reverse this trend hopefully, and help them make better choices.