₦airaland Forum

DukeofNZ:
we alpha males no go gree every woman go submit to us. but wait now i know say love na strong something, you and pocohantas antibrutus no de get problems as she crazy be but you de get problem with another somebody wey de behave like pocohantas. why?

Lol. This one is like MPRE question. Well, I've no problem with anyone and none of them is crazy. And a queen does no evil according to the gods - at least not before the public - especially if she personifies understanding.

Lol. I stirred up a hornet's nest. Well, I didn't say I loathe you . . . loathing your online character isn't the same thing as loathing you. And believe you me, you can do better. You don't need to behave like a termagant - since you want me to believe now that you're not one - to arrest the nefarious activities of wannabe alpha males or visit their sins on every other male.

Now vamoose and look for your small-minded ilk elsewhere, I've given you more attention than you deserved.

Diplomacy isn't the same thing as pretentiousness. Bumpkin.

cococandy:
The same way I loathe you.

You very conveniently have nothing to say to the boys running amok on this forum spreading woman hate on this forum. Quite as mouse

You have nothing to say when people say girls deserve to die for their dressing. But you hate my personality for being vocal against it.

You have nothing when people promote female oppression even though you have no problem against feminism. Supposedly.

But your brain only becomes active as soon as someone like me speaks up against the hate.

Go and sit your ass down. Quoting a single line comment with epistles only to arrive at your bottom line which was to tell me your dislike me. Mumu.
Like I give a flying fvck.

Lol. I loathe people that posses your kind of online character irrespective of the gender - wannabe feminists and wannabe alpha males. Meanwhile, I don't need your validation to substantiate my proclamation of being an egalitarian and libertarian. Extrapolation isn't your forte.

Oya, clam down nwannem nwayi. Don't worry, I'll not call you termagant again.

cococandy:
So your response to my initial post was a personal attack to a simple post.
And I’m the small minded person who’s evil and bla bla bla.

Unsurprisingly.

Hate filled people attack for no reason and then try to make themselves the victims

If you don’t have a problem with feminism, you won’t have a problem with me.

But you’re an imbecille and I shouldn’t even have replied your initial response because you’re obviously fishing for a reaction.

You’re a misogynistic asshole. Full stop. Stop acting like you care about equality.

I see nothing wrong with feminism, so long as it's a vehicle of propagating egalitarianism - and as I said before, egalitarianism doesn't mean absence of altruism, conscientiousness and oneness. The problem isn't about the movement itself but a termagant like you that gloss your small-mindedness in its toga. You're a typical example of a wannabe feminist, so keep quiet.

I doff my hat for all strong-minded women, whether or not they identify with feminism - Nigeria needs strong-minded people.

Peace out.

cococandy:
OFF POINT!!

Does Nigeria need feminism or not? If you’re not against feminism, no need to get defensive about that simple post. Nothing in my post said Nigeria needed any of the things you listed. But you deviated to that angle because you are against feminism. That’s the story you tell yourselves to keep supporting the causes that hurt women.

Toxic behavior is the inability to listen to others. The penchant to knowingly twist other people’s words to make it into what you want it to mean is what is evil .

If sane people (including you) aren’t against feminism, what’s your post all about then? You should have read the post and said yes indeed Nigeria does need feminism instead of going off on a tangent. When someone says “ I’m a feminist “ and deep inside your heart you agree that feminism isn’t a bad thing, the last thing you would be moved to do is to get defensive.

You get defensive because you’re against equality for women. But you know that no sane person should be against equality for women. So you pretend those who want equality for women are hating on men. That way you can sell your argument and not feel guilty about it.

Says a lot about you really believe.

cococandy:
“But Nigeria doesn’t need feminism”

Nigeria doesn't need termagants, misandrists, self-centered and greedy women that glosses their small-mindedness and evil with the toga of feminism - most online and Nigerian wannabe feminists possess either one or more of these toxic attributes.

Personally, I know that sane Nigerians aren't against feminism. So long as it remains a vehicle of propagating egalitarianism, it remains a noble cause. Sane women worldwide that identify with feminism know that egalitarianism doesn't mean absence of conscientiousness, altruism and oneness.

Nigeria needs strong-minded people - I doff my hat for all strong-minded women, whether or not they identify with feminism.

Man know thyself and those around you, never use servility to sustain closeness and oneness with anybody and anything. Don't allow any small-minded person or thing in the guise of parents/siblings/relations/custom/culture the privilege to oppress and humiliate your immediate family whether alive or dead. This kind of evil is bound to happen when a man, while alive, fails to set boundary between his immediate family and his extended family and relations, especially when the extended family members and relations are opportunists - leeches and predators. More so if the wife isn't a strong-minded woman, because I don't see a strong-minded woman allowing any small-minded in-law to humiliate and oppress her in a situation like this.

abbatoir:
Quick one:is this analysis come from your personal psycology of thinking or culled from a book.. please I need an honest answer.
Thanks

It's a "personal psychology of thinking."

Biglittlelois:
I know why I'm smiling

Lol. Forget it, clairvoyance isn't your forte.

bukatyne:
I am of the opinion that it is the husband's duty to make the wife happy ditto the wife. If I wanted to make myself happy, I would remain single.

@OP: Very unfortunate as you would have a hard marriage however not a basis for divorce or separation.

A husband's duty is to be altruistic and conscientious - good in general - towards his wife, and any good woman will be happy with such. However, a small-minded woman (just like a small-minded man) can only be happy if she succeeds in subjugating him, which entails him using servility to sustain the relationship. So, happiness is a choice - a husband doesn't automatically owe his wife happiness.

Such pronouncement is inevitable when a sane person is dealing with a typical small-minded person. . . to a small-minded person the world revolves around him/her. She can only be happy when she succeeds in subjugating you, so it's either your dominion, dignity or sanity. But as an unconquerable person, when you've indulged enough of her bullshit after exhausting diplomatic and volitional slavery mechanisms in your arsenal to maintain peace with her, without her being satiable as expected, you let out the blunt statement.

Meanwhile, staying put in the relationship or not will depend on many personal factors. OP if you're the one in this situation, let go of either your possessive or domineering attitude and see how harmony and happiness will automatically locate you and yours.

Truly, he doesn't owe you happiness, but surely he owes you goodness. If he can't offer you goodness, it means he's insane, and a sane person shouldn't be caught putting up with an insane person.

@OP

You may not have married the most altruistic and conscientious woman in the world - perfection is still of the most high God - but, believe you me, that you're married to a strong-minded woman. . . a gold. Her non-PDA "imperfection" towards you isn't an act of manipulation, this is what matters the most in a case like this. Her non-PDA towards you doesn't mean that she loves you less - talking about the compound/bigger love here, the love that matters, not fancy/physical love. Her non-PAD imperfection is an attitude present in almost all altruistic and conscientious people - some are more extreme than others though - so non-altruistic and non-conscientious people (egotists, egoists and narcissists) must learn to tolerate it when dealing with her type. In her you won't be dealing with an insatiable woman, contentment and self-effacement are her major hallmarks/attributes - she'll only rebel against you if you become lazy and/or irresponsible. I have no doubt that she's reserved, however, she's neither introverted nor timorous. Obviously she's powered by grit rather than greed.

In her you've a woman that'll be forever loyal in particular and faithful in general to you, so long as you remain good towards her in particular and every good thing she sincerely holds dear in general. Yes, I feel your pain, but the best thing you can do at this point is to master the act of accepting her for whom she's. If you can conquer your entitlement of wanting her to embrace PDA towards you, I can assure you of a near perfect marriage till the end of time - all things being equal.

She's more like a woman version of me. In fact, she's even better than me in the sense that she does post photos of her parents and siblings and colleagues and celebrate with them on their special occasions like birthday and its ilk. Personally, you can't/can hardly caught me doing any of such. Also, I'm more inclined in giving than in receiving, but I don't fancy my beneficiary expressing needless excitement. A sincere "thank you" is always enough for me. Of course, I don't express excitement when someone does something good for me, except a sincere thank you too and effort (at the back of my mind) in reciprocating the good gesture in multi-fold in the near future. More so, I find it easy to send congratulatory message on birthday or similar celebration to acquaintances than doing so towards my close relations, not because I love the latter less, in fact, I can die for them. I don't see any new acquisition or accomplishment as a big thing, so I neither revel when opportune to get something new and great done nor communicate same to anyone. I have been privileged to be in some of the most interesting and beautiful places in the world, but I don't have a single photo to show for same because such isn't my thing - it doesn't make those that have interest in such bad though.

Once more, you have a gold, just strive to conquer your entitlement of wanting her to embrace PDA towards you and accept the hard fact that perfection is of the most high God. Liberty - her liberty - will surely be her priciest/most cherished asset, avoid trying to take it away from her if you need continual peaceful coexistence with her. Her behavior towards you didn't suggest that she married you out of availability rather than desirability as many have suggested, because she didn't mete out any form of psychopathic action and inaction against you - one who marries you out of availability rather than desirability will surely do that. Yet, she can do better if she puts in some effort.

AntiBrutus:
It is only going to get worse with time.

Smart, genuine and hardworking people are not even as celebrated as their opposites. How many guys were attracted to the most intelligent girl in their classes, but they all showered blessings on the finest/hottest girl.

When you add peer pressure, laziness, lack of proper upbringing and low self esteem to the above, you get ladies who just wanna be your favourite kinda women. Women that slay...

There is no way we can address this issue and ignore the people who make these ladies thrive. The life they live is funded by people, same people that complain.

The big gods are the older generation, same generation presumed to have been better.

Create a thread on big boobs or types of vagina--you'll see the views, it will run into 8pages and more. Create another on best graduating student and you will be struggling to find comments. It is worse when the thread is on any intellectual discourse.

Some ladies have seen it is easier to make money with their bodies, than their brains. Those ladies are not dumb after all, they studied their target market, identified their needs and realized it isn't the brain, but the natural factory down there.

Professor . . .

Don't give up. You simply need to take to the route of living life at the periphery of conventionalism and make sure you do so conscientiously. Adopt and embrace the philosophical principle of altruism and conscientiousness and, let grit rather than greed be the source of your life motivation henceforth - focus on what you have and build your hope around your profession/occupation/ambition. Make it a duty to constantly remind yourself that neither the world nor people owe you anything, instead that you owe the world in particular and people in general goodness - this simply means conquering your entitlement mentality without negating expectation, expectation of reciprocation is your right - and strive to live up to it to the best of your ability, of course, do so without allowing anyone/anything dominion over you.

Also consider a short holiday outside your immediate environment to a less posh but serene environment - let me assume that you live in a posh city within or outside the country and have a hometown/village different and less posh from the city where you live. If you normally go there through the air (after arriving the country, in case you live outside the country), take public road transportation and when you reach there forget about your vehicle (in case you have available one you normally use while in town) and all the normal and usual lifestyle of a subjective accomplished city person in town, also consider to reduce your use of phone and computer and number of people that will visit you, and enjoy your rest.

Believe you me, happiness isn't that expensive, once you conquer yourself.

It's always better to be a big fish in a small pond than to be a small fish in a big pond, however, it's unwise to remain in the small pond after becoming bigger than it.

Ifeanyi Ubah is wise.

generationz:
are there books I can read about all these things

No.

kollinzgee:
alphamales are not egotistic go and google the meaming of alphamale.

Conceitedness is God's gift to small-minded people like you. A "wannabe alpha male" isn't the same thing as an alpha male, just as a "wannabe feminist" isn't the same thing as a feminist. . . so wannabe alpha man vamoose now and look for your ilk elsewhere.

Constancy of change is only applicable to innate things - this is all about dependability of change. So to your question, the answer is yes and no, depending on one's ethical leanings - no apologies:

* Egoist - No amount of change can permanently stop an egoist from being greedy. One that belongs here will always mete out pernicious acts towards people around him/her - irrespective of the depth of emotional connection s/he shares with one. Emotional and material abuses are inevitable here. Sycophancy, perfidiousness and pretense (talk about a slow poison) are some of their major hallmarks.

* Narcissist - No amount of change can permanently stop a narcissist from being selfish and hypocritical. One who belongs here will always mete out both emotional and psychological abuses towards anyone s/he shares close relationship with. Sanctimoniousness and insatiableness are their major hallmarks - nagging and whining are inevitable.

* Egotist - No amount of change can permanently stop an egotist from being hypocritically disingenuous. One who belongs here will always mete out sly and self-centered acts while cockily voicing against them, and will always be contentious because of his/her conceitedness/domineeringness. Wannabe alpha males and wannabe female feminists/termagants belong here. Both psychological, emotional and material abuses are inevitable here - psychological projection (blame shifting) is always evident here too.

* An altruistic and conscientious person is the only one that can permanently change from bad to good, because thoughtfulness/selflessness is his/her attribute - attribute is innate but attitude isn't.

So, yes, I can marry a lady who's of the altruistic and conscientious ethical leanings, irrespective of her present and past behaviors.

Amicusacuriae:
i basically gave her my life. I served in her home state because of her. She never demanded for anything and i turned her down. I typed her final year project.

You've corroborated my submission. Altruism
- the soul of love or submissiveness - doesn't mean absence of conscientiousness. You negated conscientiousness, so your actions are traceable to feeble-mindedness. . . like I always say, one who fails to lose honorably/willingly will always lose dishonorably/unwillingly. Next time avoid using servility to sustain a relationship.

A man's true soulmate must be beautiful to his eye - beauty remains in the eye of the beholder - so if she isn't beautiful to you then she isn't yours. Also, she must be selfless and meek towards you - if you're lucky to have one that's meek and selfless towards you in particular and every other person in general, then you've a gold that deserves all the love in this world.

MariaLavina:
This ' after all I did for him/her' phrase dey annoying sha. Do youkeep records of favours or sacrifices made when in relationship? Seriously I don't understand. It's like you did these things not out of love but out of a business mindset. You only helped him or because you wanted him or her to stay. That's it! some kind of investment that ought to yield loyalty/longer companionship. Damn! you men pay too much!



Op, I can't take sides, I don't know the other side of the story. Just take heart , be a man and move on with your life.She may be back, she may not. If she comes back, and you want to take her back be sure to do that only because you REALLY want her back in your life and not because of all the things you have done for her.

You've begun towing path of altruistic and conscientious people. Keep it up.

It takes one who directly or indirectly used servility - either because of conceitedness, slyness or feeble-mindedness - to sustain a relationship to make the following statement "after all i did for her." Believe you me, you should be more concerned about conquering yourself at this point than wishing to have her back. The relationship wasn't healthy while it lasted, but because of your inadequacy as I pointed out above, you stayed put until she called it quit after possibly maximizing her need or having had enough of your bullshit subject to whether you are a conceited, sly or timorous person.

The guy is an idiot. She doesn't owe him an obligation - servitude in particular. Giving isn't the problem here, but giving with an intention to subjugate her is the problem.

It's obvious that the said Miracle isn't the one with poor attitude, but the complainant, because from the connotation of his submission, it's either his way/self/self-interest or no other way - a typical subjugator. Miracle isn't subjugable.

Biglittlelois:
As i was reading through your comment I was curious to see if "ethical leanings" would be there and voila it's there, you are very predictable lol.

If you can imagine a human being without water, then you'll understand better.

MariaLavina:
Lol... I was curious to see 'self realization' and yes it was there.

Miss world 2019 loaded. .. let me go and find where to borrow shoes because whether you like it or not I'm going to be your chaperone to the event.

Life can never make meaning to you/you can never understand what you need in life (literally) - you may know but not understand - until you heed to this admonition "man know thyself." Work towards self-realization first and enjoy dating/playing around while doing so, but forget about courtship, until you achieve it. Truth is that when you achieve self-realization you won't seek advice on a matter of this nature.

You can only unravel the word love - the bigger love, not the smaller love fancy/lust/sweetness of the opposite sex - after achieving self-realization, its ambiguity notwithstanding. One can only be able to identify his/her ethical leanings after achieving self-realization and by extension have the ability to decipher others ethical leanings without hassle - a soulmate is s/he one shares same ethical leanings with.

Only a family full of opportunists in particular and evil people in general can exhibit this kind of reprehensible act. . . Anyway, I don't think the story is real.

A sane and sagacious person will rather give than invest in a setting like this - giving doesn't breed entitlement, thereby eliminating all kinds of trouble, but investing do. Altruism remains the soul of a healthy and genuine close personal relationship and marriage union.

AntiBrutus:
Oya, I am waiting my love.

Milady, as my personal person, I'll tell you offline.

Foremost, most people's online actions and inactions are not deducible to their offline persona, personality and character. That said, I can dissect anyone's moniker and tell almost accurately (at least up to 95%), the real persona, personality and character of the person behind the moniker, and by extension how the person will behave upon achieving self-realization or when s/he become emancipated in any area of her present impairment.

Every human being falls within either of the diplomatic or manipulative ethical leanings, so using one of the following sub-ethical leanings:

- Altruism

- Altruism and conscientiousness

- Egoism

- Egotism

- Narcissism

- Conceitedness


I can tell almost accurately about anyone, after a little observation of the person's activities, of course - perfection remains of the most high.