₦airaland Forum

I'll save the conscientious person who's an altruistic interest in me among the three people. Under no circumstance will I wittingly choose money over any human being - a conscientious person who's an altruistic interest in me.

It's like a sword with two edges; sometimes it does end well, while some other times it does end in tears, frustration, and dissolution with or without them meeting each other.  I've seen the latter happen. 

There's a possibility that the lady and her people might return the bride price after sometimes if he couldn't find his bearing very fast depending on her age, marketability, and conviction. Of course, there's also a possibility that the guy might not consider her worthy enough for a wife on arrival if his testosterone reacts more to physical/material attraction than mental attraction and if he'd chosen her based on her physical/material possession.

Sense of entitlement as a product of self-absorption and or opportunism isn't a Nigerian woman (or woman) habit alone. In fact, from all indications, there are more Nigerian men than women with a sense of entitlement these days.

PastorandMentor:
I'm just laughing at you all.
These men belong.
OK i agree he was humble that was why he maduka introduced him to their cult.
See this world is spiritual.
There is a level you can't get to until you Join..
You can build one small 3 rooms in your fathers house, buy small Toyota corolla, but for you to be able to control wealth, i mean real wealth, you have to look for someone who is already there, humble yourself and he will introduce you to the cult.
Some people won't still understand my point.
Don't quote me

Kindly stop misinforming and misleading impressionable people about something you obviously don't know and understand; one doesn't automatically need to belong to any occult group to amass wealth. Human beings are giving brains for a reason; everyone should put theirs into good use by creating their path and encrypting it.

He alone isn't the problem, but both of you are the problem. None of you is selfless for each other. Anyway, a relatively harmonious marriage can still happen between the two of you, but it'll be possible through prenuptial/material bound marriage arrangement, rather than love bound marriage, where everyone will lay down bare what they must make available at every given time and what they will expect the other person to always make available at every given time, etc.

An environment has almost nothing to do with how a child turns out as an adult ethically; instead, the ethical leanings and or worldview of the parents/guardians couple with the child's mental quotient has everything to do with how he/she will turn out as an adult.

In fact, with the obvious ethical leanings and worldviews of most of the posters on this thread, the chances of having the proverbial thought of sending some of your offspring or grand offspring to Africa for futile ethical reasons is inevitable; unless something urgently is done to curb the menace - misinformation, bigotry, misrepresentation, greed, misinterpretation, etc.

Case study

- A blanket statement from the mindset that held the belief that African parents do not allow their children to exercise their liberty, while the Western parents do allow their children to exercise theirs without regards to decorum:

This I know isn't true, citing my background. Where it's a case, however, know that it isn't a general phenomenon. Anyone with this kind of blanket statement mindset or who truly experience such because their parents are from weak ethical leanings hardly exercise their liberty within the limits of decorum, and they tend to allow their children to exercise their liberty without regards to decorum and in the course of doing so they misrepresent how the elite Whites truly train their children. The elite Whites do not encourage their children to exercise their liberty outside the limits of decorum.

- A blanket statement from the mindset that held the belief that women/wives are oppressed in Africa:

This I know isn't true too, citing my background. Anyone with this kind of blanket statement mindset, or who truly experience such because their parents are from weak ethical leanings, is likely going to abuse the freedom the West offers erroneously through contention, as a woman, while in the case of a man, he'll become effeminate, and the end result is raising children who witness their parents either scheming to outdo each other or abusing each other, thereby making them not having respect for one or both parents and losing their sense of decorum in general.

Meanwhile, there's a different set of parents whose purpose of sending their children to Africa isn't because of ethical issues, but for the purpose of cultural inculcation, even though they oftentimes wittingly or unwittingly say that it is for ethical reasons. They want their children to have that sense of Nigeria/Africa is your place of origin and true home - this is called never forget your root under no circumstances. This is good because it discourages brain drain; embassies do acknowledge this through some of the measures they put in place when granting visas.

apolonius:
I have been having same thoughts. I know his battles began over 2023 and the prospects of challenging the Tinubu/Oshiomhole tendency from the South-West/South-South.


I have been looking at his weight and wondering if he has diabetes.

Please, share more...I am a student of power and I want to read your view, or should I message you?

His problem has less to do with his presidential aspiration/Tinubu and co. He actually revisited an old non-political related battle with some folks after he gained power and used it to humiliate his main opponent and co-travelers who're now fighting from the background through the instrument of the power they co-own in the state and beyond. He failed to listen to all pleas and cautions to allow sleeping dogs to rest while he held sway.

Most people won't understand the genesis of this fight and the actual person fighting Rochas. My only pity for him is because he has been very sick, else, he deserves more than what's happening to him now, because he really humiliated his main opponent more than this for several years. One that brings ant-infested gays into their hut should not grumble when lizards begin to pay them a visit - Chinua Achebe.

SanctifiedSista:
permit? Nigerian men are truly funny. So Ngozi iweala wld collect permission to buy herself that bag..smh
Women, u beta work and not hardwork..smart work so ur men will respect u and u won't rely on his wretched purse hence having to ask permission to spend on yourself

I wonder what difference a change of choice of his word "permission" maybe to "opinion" would make and how his posit equates to a sacrilege like you've made it seem. If only people like you who take pleasure in debasing and deriding others know how stupid you always appear before sane people.

Well, no, Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala hasn't been known to belong to the class of hypocritical crass opportunistic materialistic bumpkins like you and can't be caught buying a 144 million naira bag for pleasure, regardless of her financial standing. As a responsible woman, if she wishes to buy the same bag for a feasible and foreseeable economic yield, however, she won't see anything wrong or assume her husband "funny" in courteously telling him her plan, and, by extension, won't see it as a denial of her right to liberty to jettison the idea if he didn't see a need for it, for her good, once he can convincingly make her see things from his POV.

In summary, liberty doesn't negate deference, courtesy, decorum, etc., at least not when one takes delight in goodness and cherishes the same and dealing with a conscientious partner.

Absolutely. All you need to always amass plenty like and share in most circumstances is wearing the garb of crassness and opportunism. Normalization of abnormality is the order of the day.

Ishilove:
You are a good writer and your little narration is a refreshing drink of water in a cyber desert of atrocious grammer and murders syntax.

You've two writing issues in this small post - punctuation and grammar one each. The correct version of your post should read as follows: "You are a good writer, and your little narration is a refreshing drink of water in a cyber desert of atrocious grammar and murders syntax."

Meanwhile, the OP's post isn't good enough. She's 42 writing issues in her post. Most of her determiners, quantifiers, and punctuation aren't in order.

I know that you love a good writing piece, which isn't a bad thing; putting yourself in the position of a referee, however, is quite ridiculous.

With versatility and resourcefulness, any lawyer will always make it big anywhere in the world. There're more areas to explore to extract financial success other than from litigation. Business/economic development is one area any versatile and resourceful lawyer, seasoned or not, can always explore and extract success, especially developing nations' based lawyers - it entails creating own leads, though.

I had used the first eleven years of my prosperous independent economic life to proudly serve humanity in a selfless and voluntary slavery manner, and it taught me invaluable lessons that have made me know almost everything about the people of different leanings and shaped my philosophy about life, people, and everything. It is such a bitter-sweet experience.

ststyreal:
I don't care what you think, experience they say is the best teacher. One reason according to the way life has dealt with him or her. You don't need to quote me, if your own brothers handles yours well, good for you. We have read on this same forum how siblings divert their brothers or sisters money into personal use. So I only aired my opinion and views, kindly give your own advice, while respecting others view.

Who cares about whether riffraff likes quoted or not. Every riffraff should stop using themselves as standard or misforming the general public.

ststyreal:
Don't transfer any money to any body, be it father, mother or siblings, cos only God can be trusted especially this one that involves money. Calculate all you will be needing for the month and collect it in lump sum from your wife. At least you are seeing your wife everyday, if you mistakenly transfer the money to any siblings, I tell qyou na story go end am.

The way some of you are always bold to use yourselves and things happening around you as standard are always both appalling and laughable. No, not everyone is like you and those around you. I've always had my sibling handling multimillion naira projects for me without hearing any funny story, and vice versa.

IamGreen1:
Because it is female that granted male request of wanting to marry them. A man can only propose to marry a lady so the lady is the solely determinant of whether the marriage should occur or not that's the reason why females weds the males because she agreed to his 'just' proposal.

This "the lady is the solely determinant of whether the marriage should occur or not" holds true where a woman is involved with a nonaristocratic man. Aristocratic men have always determined whether a marriage will occur or not because women of all strata always do everything possible to be in the life of aristocratic men, not the other way round.

The answer can be yes or no, subject to the circumstances surrounding your relationship with her from the inception:

- Yes, if you'd been a thorn in her flesh.

- No, if you've always been fair to her.

The both of you know the truth and who's at fault.

Regardless of who's at fault, always be polite to her, at least until she proved that she doesn't deserve to be treated like a sane person because, if not for anything else, she's your brother's wife.

Indulgence by ignoring and keeping distance temporarily if the provoker is normally a fair-minded person. If the provoker, however, is a self-absorbing and or opportunistic person who believes that he/she has a monopoly of toxicity and pettiness indulgence and once in a while overdose of their medicine, do the magic.

The truth is that most of you haven't conquered yourselves, as men, least of having another adult to walk and work with you in your lead. You can accuse Nigerian women, women in general, of being self-absorbing, of which they're naturally disposed to that, but you can't accuse them of being hard, forget about whatever bravado most of them put up in a forum like this.

Summarily, once you're able to conquer yourself, as a man, you'll discover that women are both useful and good followers since they're naturally malleable despite their inherent self-absorption. Nigerian women aren't useless, even though altruism isn't their forte.

123huawei:
Oga..you too blow grammar

I'll get back to you as soon as I realize that I too blow grammar; if I eventually realized it. I hope it''s not a crime, though. In the meantime, do have a great weekend.

Citing your honest submission, the journey that led to the union didn't start from a strong ethical position from your end, and he wittingly or unwittingly didn't make an effort to discover you beyond your extrinsic qualities. It takes a discerning person to get that done; that's where he effed. Unfortunately, in the absence of that, as it's in this case, mistrust is inevitable. It doesn't matter whether you've got a good soul bad soul. Had it been he achieved such feat and married you either for the good or bad quality of your soul, both of you wouldn't have been in this kind of ugly situation that drains both of you in different ways.

Well, the both of you've different roles to play to either succeed in achieving mutual trust and peace in the union or to perish in it - I wish it'll come to the former. You've to honestly become as vulnerable as possible to him while he has to detox himself and honestly start quantifying you from the place of rationality

Summarily, he didn't marry you for the quality of your soul wittingly or unwittingly, therefore, he doesn't know you well yet; thus his action. The problem will automatically get solved the very moment he has the ability to tell what you can do or can't do at any given time, whether in his presence or absence, subject to circumstances. A conscientious disposition from you mainly expressed through vulnerability will help him to make this possible, provided that he conquers himself rationally.

nenyewrites:
Don’t you think you’re mistaking partnership as submission? Love breeds partnership, equality, not submission. Think about it.

I'll get back to you as soon as I realize that love breeds partnership and equality between a couple in a healthy union.

Submission can't be a curse since it spontaneously responds to love, vice versa. Besides, love is more sacrificial than it. Where submission and love are/seem like a curse, the people involved in the situation are the problem, not submission or love.

Klass99:
Lol

Anita's story cracked me up, I can relate to the part about emotionally under-developed men.

I am feeling Amaka all the way on everything she said because I aim to ensure that my decisions/choices in life do 3 things for me and to me - they make me happier, healthier and full of success.

Kai Chisom! I need that emoji where you smack your forehead with your palm.

BigCabal, why cut short an enjoyable read like this?

It doesn't surprise me that someone like you will concur, revel, and relish with another of your type that derides men in this fashion "emotionally under-developed men." because you've always been a typical hypocritically disingenuous element, and your very low IQ couple with mixed depression have made your case worst.

You and your type always take delight in debasing and deriding men and anyone, regardless of gender, who don't fit into your low-life circle; but are always quick to cry murder and play a victim when ordinary resistance, not even equal and proportional retaliation, is applied.

It's better imagined than to witness a man terming women "emotionally under-developed women" in this fashion and what the reaction of you and your ilk will be.

Inculcate an ethical philosophy that is just and live it in word and action; that will automatically afford you the opportunity of giving up inhumaneness and chauvinism in the name of being opinionated, and at the same time, you won't see reasons to condone vices from anyone. The solution to your need lies in your hands.

He hasn't left the PDP according to what he said less than 5 minutes ago.

This is called initial gragra. A time will come, after achieving some level of success, when you'll cheerfully be looking forward to hopping on every next available flight back home - unless you've never been a son of the soil.

As much as I don't hold brief for the teacher, before anyone crucifies him/her, however, note well that managing/closely relating with someone with special needs is always psychologically exhausting worse when still a pupil/juvenile one like in this case. It takes more than being a teacher to manage them, and no matter how altruistic you're towards them, once in a while, they will wittingly or unwittingly provoke you to the extent of losing your tolerance and temper to give them a dose of their medicine, like in this case, in order to regain your strength and peace to continue managing them again with love. More so, it always helps them to sit up too, albeit temporarily; they do need it, the pains they suffer in such a scenario notwithstanding.

And a scenario like this is the reason why normally they're usually sent to schools meant for them specially, where the teachers who understand their nature and have an affinity for them voluntarily manage them. So, in this stance where he wasn't sent to school meant for people with special needs like him, one should understand the teacher's plight - even though he could do better.

Perhaps, a change of the subject of your thread, and post in general, to "A Necessary Help From Women Who Suffer Agitated Depression/Mixed Depression" will get you the answer you need since yours is a fictional work. I haven't come across a real feminist on this forum.

The bitter truth is that all the women who exhibit attitude people mistake for feminism/Nigerian feminism on this forum or other places on and offline are women suffering agitated depression/mixed depression. It's the same with men who exhibit the same kind of attitude under any guise.

There's nothing wrong with feminism or its contemporary equivalents; there's, however, everything wrong with crass and opportunistic people who wittingly or unwittingly exhibit agitated depression actions.

The bitter truth is that all the women who exhibit attitude people term third-wave feminism/Nigerian feminism on this forum or other places on and offline are women suffering agitated depression/mixed depression. It's the same with men who exhibit the same kind of attitude under any guise. There's nothing wrong with feminism or its contemporary equivalents; there's, however, everything wrong with crass and opportunistic people who wittingly or unwittingly exhibit agitated depression actions.

Originalsly:
Give an example of someone who can liaise with her and the connection the person can make to have her automatically swimming in millions.
People who usually be swimming in that kind money from unknown sources are usually into illegal or immoral activities.... directly or indirectly.

Using your example... someone can liaise with her.... connect her to a looting politician... an appropriate quarter.... a deal is struck.... everytime she sleeps with him.... USD 25 K as compensation...... wouldn't she be automatically swimming in money?

I know nothing about her to judge her source of money to buy the ride.... maybe that was her dream and been investing and saving all her life to fulfill that dream.

Some of you can read but hardly understand anything. In my post, I stated "genuine deals." Well, one doesn't need to soil his or her hands to make things happen. Not all dealmakers, deals, and alliances involve fraud. What one doesn't understand is bigger than them. Anyway, I'm not here to lecture anyone on how things are done locally and internationally in this regard.