₦airaland Forum

Mariangeles:
What does SBNR stand for?

Spiritual But Not Religious.

The bible. A great book it's, just like most of its contemporaries, however, it's far from representing God absolutely. It makes it easier for one who's in tune with their subconscious, but isn't discerning enough, to jettison both God and religion to embrace atheism.

My ability to personally create and encrypt my own concept of God saved me from losing faith in him or embracing atheism. But it surely made me lose faith in religion.

In the end, I arrived at being SBNR.

If laziness in a partner is a dealbreaker in an intimate relationship for you, and if you've certified that she's truly lazy, then don't marry her; unless you want to turn to a nag or abuser or both. You should've considered this before getting intimate with her; you've failed yourself in this regard. Don't allow anyone to guilt-trip you to doom.

No. Neither of the genders is more intelligent than the other, even though on an individual basis, there are more intellectually accomplished men than women, and the reason for that isn't far-fetched.

Intelligence vs perfidiousness: meanwhile, many a time, most people do mistake perfidiousness for intelligence, thus the reason you may likely hear that women are more intelligent than men. Unfortunately, one doesn't automatically need to be intelligent but disingenuous and or normal to carry out perfidious acts. Women are simply more susceptible to perfidiousness than men because of their inherent self-absorption, which is why they're the weaker sex.

So, as a man, self-conquest, which includes discernment, should be your greatest longing and acquisition, without which, you'll always hate women or be under their subjugation. Conquer yourself, as a man, and you'll see reasons to love them - everyone, regardless of gender, has their shortcomings individually and collectively.

Genuine love, which is a product of mental attraction necessitated by sound ethical leanings.

I've always known that 99.9% of the people who identify directly or indirectly with any of these social movements are hypocritically crass and or opportunistic elements - there's nothing wrong with feminism and its equivalents regardless of the gender of their propagators, but there's always something wrong with almost all the people who identify with them.

The idea of equating condoning of abnormalities to tolerance and liberalism should stop with immediate effect because there's no genuine progressiveness in condoning evil.

If your mother acted in a manner that warranted your wife to unavoidably call her insane, then your wife didn't do any evil - you ought to know both your wife and mother better by now and know what each can do at any given time, subject to circumstances. If, however, your wife called your mother insane unjustifiably and has remained remorseless, then giving her punishment of your choice at least tenfold won't be a bad idea.

One who comes into equity must come with clean hands.

If your wife has to automatically work under you or be less successful than you before she can respect you, something is either wrong with one of you or both of you. Denying an adult their rights to liberty under any guise is evil, just as one's inability to exercise their liberty within the confines of decorum is a disease. There'll always be malice in any marriage or meaningful interpersonal relationship where money serves as the bond that brings the parties involved together and where one who's more financially successful automatically becomes the ultimate decider of the things that happen in the union.

You're on the right path thus far, provided that you'd truly given her the supports conscientiously. A healthy relationship is meant to nourish and refresh, not drain, as you've exemplified. And I can see that you're gritty, citing your action of withdrawing from her due to her greed; that's one great attribute every fair-minded person needs to possess to stay sane and safe when dealing with opportunistic people. One area you need to work on is discernment. Had it been that you were discerning enough, you would have known beforehand that she has the tendency to scheme money from any unsuspecting person, which makes her an opportunist, and you wouldn't have been caught unawares and stunned like this.

The choice on whether to forgive her and accept her back is solely yours; she might change for good if you caution her, just as she might learn the subtle way to perfect her scheming act, which by extension means that you'll have a frenemy in your hands if both of you remain close.

The truth is that, unlike what naive and insane people would want you to believe, it's not the person who spent the most and loved the most/genuinely in a relationship that automatically usually feels heartbroken if such relationship breaks; instead, it's the one who tolerated the most nonsense and or the undiscerning one (opportunistic and self-absorbing people usually make the majority here, their shenanigans notwithstanding) who usually gets heartbroken.

In summary, there's nothing bad in being generous in particular and good in general to a loyal woman in your life. There's, however, everything bad in rewarding a disloyal woman in your life with generosity in particular and goodness in general.

You're partly right, but then, you couldn't avoid being hypocritically disingenuous, which of course, is a major hallmark of everyone with persecutory delusion. A fair-minded person in your stead would have known that your observation isn't exclusively males/Nigeria males issue but a relatively modern generic issue being perpetrated by crass/self-absorbing and or opportunistic people, regardless of gender.

Well, on the menace, which isn't exclusive to a particular gender, blame it on the conscious normalization of abnormalities by a majority of the people - wannabe liberators and libertarians. It'll get worse provided that self-absorbing and opportunistic people are allowed to always infiltrate any ideological movement started by people who've noble cause or provided that sane but gullible people continue to embrace every nonsense ideological movement they initiated or support, and provided that there're gullible people who're genuinely victims of the shenanigans of this same self-absorbing and opportunistic people from both genders who pose as enlighteners.

This is balderdash, even though I believe in the indissolubility of Nigeria.

HBD leader par excellence. More of God's blessings in your life.

Romanoff:
The reason I advice women to be financially independent is cause you'll know why you're dating a guy. Not cause he's spending on you, but cause you really like him.

Man no fit use financially stable woman do Shakara.

Many men use their money as a tool to control a woman, which money you wan use control woman wey dey financially stable.

There's a difference between submission and control. Submission is earned and flows easily from the heart for while control is conditional, with something attached to it.

"Man no fit use financially stable woman do Shakara." That your crass statement does not hold true because financial stability neither cures greed and feeble-mindedness nor buy grit. So, being financially independent doesn't automatically make a woman or man gritty. Besides, having a job or business and an ability to scantly buy own toiletries doesn't automatically make one "financially independent."

There's nothing wrong with being a financially independent woman or aspiring to be one, but there's everything wrong when one's purpose of pursuing financial stability is to prove a point, like your mentality through your post connotes. It usually ends in tears when relating with aristocrats.

Meanwhile, only men who haven't conquered themselves will have a problem having a financially independent woman walk and work with them on their lead. Gritty women, regardless of their financial/social standing, aren't meant to be controlled in a relationship and won't condone such, and no sane man will take pleasure in controlling a woman. Only an insane woman, however, deserves to be controlled.

By the way, being on this new moniker doesn't stop you from being the person who's formerly "reb............" If you don't wish to be derided and debased, don't mete out the same to men or anyone, regardless of gender. Humbleness isn't a sign of weakness, just as arrogance isn't a sign of strength.

It's unfortunate that your mother falls within the category of people who think that being crass, as she's citing your submission, makes her a non-hypocrite and non-pretender, while anyone who isn't crass is automatically a hypocrite or pretender to her. She's obviously not fully mentally OK, so learn not to take her seriously, thereby automatically forgiving her instantly the moment after she displays her petty attitude because she obviously can't help herself much no matter how hard she might wish to.

She's the type of person who's always against injustice and oppression not because she hates them rather she is against them/can only be caught being against them because she isn't the one/solely the one meting them out against others. Talk about one being delusionally and hypocritically disingenuous and self-absorbing.

May God grant your household the fortitude to bear the loss.

lexy2014:
D last time I checked, I asked u a question & u didn't answer d question. I also don't remember when a question became a debate

Lol. You ought to have known that neither I nor you are in the position to know who recorded the video since we weren't at the scene and aren't the ones peddling the story.

lexy2014:
Who is videoing it?

The last time I checked, the thread isn't a debate on whether the depicted action happened literally or fictionally or if she walking through him won't make her fall.

That's the honorable thing to do under the circumstance, even if he were not her husband but were just escorting her. A total stranger who's thoughtful can do the same for her or someone in a condition similar to hers, so it should not be seen as a big deal when a partner or relative does it.

Having heard from both sides on here, I hereby say, woman, discard him with alacrity. Not only are you two not in sync, he, in particular, doesn't have an altruistic interest in you, which is a very bad omen and a prelude to the elusion of peace of mind in particular and happiness in general that awaits you in the union if formalized. Both of you aren't of the same ethical leanings.

UjuJoan2:


The lord himself . . . I hail oh!!

Lol. Na me hail pass.

UjuJoan2:
Wise girl.

Not everyone is ready to suffer in the name of marriage!!

Ujujoan, use your church mind dash this young lady at least 10m naira so that she can help her man to arrange the marriage sharp sharp. Be a good sister to her.

Balderdash. Inferiority complex at its worst. Every responsible woman, regardless of color, race, and social class, is worth adoration by all sane men.

Those who speak against injustice not because they hate it but because they aren't the ones meting it out against others simply personify hypocrisy, and by extension, are insane.

And what's bad or derogatory about "herbalist." Both you and those who've cast aspersions on the herbalist are mentally parochial.

The fact that he has deleted the comment means that he's not a man of conviction, and by extension, isn't worth taking seriously. More so, the fact that he has tried to rationalize his sentiment to equality means that he's bereft of what equality stands for. Equality doesn't negate decorum. Decorum is the ultimate standard.

Apart from committing any heinous crime, which has to include being the one who caused or initiated the dissolution of the union, I don't see any justifiable reason why he shouldn't voluntarily, if not legally, cede at least 40% of the family wealth to her; if not for anything, at least for good old time sake.

You won't get the best out of her by continually bullying and brutalizing her. First, strive to conquer yourself, then diplomatically bring her on board to walk and work with you on your set standard and philosophy while still enjoying 100% of her liberty - this entails being conscientious in particular and selfless and generous towards her in general. No matter what approach you might adopt and how hard you might try, however, 80% of how she'll turn out lies in her hands, so sound it out to her that with 100% liberty comes personal assumption of responsibility of the consequences of her actions and inactions. Of course, she deserves a phone.

Be her leader, not her ruler.

A wife who goes about insulting people unjustly is definitely on her own if something like this happens to her in the cause of doing that. For a conscientious wife who has an altruistic interest in me, however, I'll definitely make sure her abuser suffers at least tenfold her hurt in any way possible and can gladly die in the cause of revenging any injustice against her because I know that she won't be caught wittingly and pleasurably causing others pains in any form.

nonen:
Location - Ontario, Canada.
1. House Rent =$2,000 (All Inclusive)
2. Grocery Shopping = $800
3. Internet = $450
4. Car Gas = $250
5. Kid’s School = $80/day
5a. One child is is free school
5b. Had to home school one child to save $80/day until he can get into public school
6. Miscellaneous =$300
7. Home Remittances =$800

Total = $4,600 monthly

With Bell's unlimited Internet access, approximately $125 per month, and an overall best average cost of Internet $66 per month, regardless of brand, I wonder what would make you spend $450 per month for Internet in the same Ontario.

pocohantas:
Thank you for reminding me of another one. I have seen them troll her severally with her health challenges and as I no dey like mind my business, I have stepped in a few times.

The other day, we were both having a chit chat on the Food thread, before I could reply her next mention, she has deactivated.

Tomorrow if anything happens to her, these modafuckers will gather to say it was all jokes and doesn’t indicate hate. When I talk again, them go say na attention-seeking.

God punish all of them!!!!

God won't punish all of them. As usual, you won't stop being hypocritically crass and opportunistic, yet you wonder why you're always at the receiving end of trolling, bullying, reproving, etc. Stop being wannabe unblemished - everyone else but you and your type is always the problem.

One thing all of you who've one form of personality disorder or another or some form of terminal sickness have in common is delusional megalomania, which always makes all of you think that you've got a monopoly of everything pettiness, superiority, toxicity, etc. I don't hold brief for people who bully and troll others unjustly, but one thing is certain, you all are the cause of your agonies wittingly and unwittingly.

Like I said somewhere in this thread yesterday, expecting thorough sane people to take to the normalization of abnormality, as it seems to be the order of the day in this forum, is foolishness. So, when they indulge you all out of magnanimity, however, avoid seeing their actions as a sign of weakness or a sign of the potency of your scheming and bravado.

It's very necessary to give you and your supporters and type this reply in the open like this because if everyone continues to indulge you, you'll continue to think that you're the sane one while others are the insane ones. Don't expect people to always run away from every thread because of your toxicity like you've exhibited here. Enough of all this madness. Don't worry, telling the truth in the open like this always by calling you out doesn't mean hating you and wishing you evil, because when the chips are down, I'll still be the one to stand solidly for you as usual.

Once more, allow tranquility a chance. People who have always urged you on directly or indirectly and wittingly or unwittingly do not have your best interest at heart. Of course, I'll indulge your ranting, should you choose to do so.

pocohantas:
!

Queen, sheathe your sword and allow tranquility a chance. The truth is that people who've always urged you on in an instance like this don't wittingly or unwittingly have your best interest at heart.

Most people who had called out (I don't think anyone trolled her) Victorian in most instances did so justifiably - reprove and countering of dishonesty and misinformation don't equate to hatred and bullying. And only hypocritically disingenuous elements who know her self-inflicted agony in this regard will deny this fact. Expecting sane people to take to the normalization of abnormality, as it seems to be the order of the day in this forum, is foolishness. Of course, she wasn't evil, just as no one alive is neither evil nor good - everyone with their shortcomings and good sides - one can only strive to be either good or evil.

RIP Victorian.