₦airaland Forum

Obviously, you mentioned the wrong person.

Setting boundaries vs saying goodbye! I'm into the former. When you say goodbye, that means you've departed from the person's life, and this by extension means you'll carry a permanent feel of hurt/guilt - because the sufferings of a once beloved will always be felt so long one was/is altruistic and beneficent towards the person. However, if you're never altruistic and beneficent towards the person, believe you me, the person will see your departure from his/her life as a huge relief and blessing.

Meanwhile, when you set boundaries - personally, I normally do whenever I observed ethical disparities - you'll remain beneficent (either directly or indirectly) towards the person only on your terms and conditions, with your self-dominion, dignity and sanity intact (all these sums up inner peace). With this you'll not feel any form of hurt and guilt, but you'll surely and occasionally miss the temporary moments of happiness you usually share with the person you distanced/detached from - yeah, no matter how toxic a person is, he/she do usually have a good side too. So, it's a case of instead of a temporary happiness to cost one inner peace, let the temporary happiness go while the inner peace remain permanent - permanent happiness comes from within oneself.

Personally, I dislike use of the verb word "submit" (or its noun; submission) - both in word and action - in relation to a man and woman in a romantic affair. I prefer its euphemism like submissive (submissiveness). Submission in this regard always makes it look as if it's a master-servant thing.

So, if the word is submissiveness, I'll say yes, women who aren't submissive to their men - aristocratic men - can never have lasting (healthy) marriage. The difference between submissiveness and love is just in their names and applications - just as the difference between a man and a woman is simply in their genders, and roles by extension. Neither submissiveness nor love is a sign of weakness - just as difference in human genders don't mean inequality.

Both submissiveness and love are products - compound products - of goodness and diplomacy. Submissiveness begets selflessness, meekness and sweetness, etc. Love begets kindness, politeness, thoughtfulness, etc. Men love your wives and women be submissive to your husbands.

As far as I'm concerned, there's no right or wrong time to ask for assistance from anyone, your date - be it first or last time meeting with him - inclusive, so long as you're doing so conscientiously. An unassuming needy person - I don't hold brief for people who're perpetually in need - is better than a hypocritically disingenuous one. An altruistic and kind person will surely understand you and do what's needful within his ability.

A mere look into her eyes, one with a divination power can easily notice that she's long been suffering occasional mental illnesses. Her case has nothing to do with any recent ritual. They should quickly take her to a psychiatric hospital.

LOL

The advice can only hold true for a woman that possess the anima of an angel.

Most people - myopic people - tend to mistake calm and taciturn personalities, like him, for timorous and clueless people, whereas in truth, they're normally the most intelligent, liberal and strong-minded kinds of personalities out there. While the boisterous and cocky personalities are automatically and mistakenly taken for confident and intelligent ones. But on a closer observation, a discerning mind will quickly discover those that possesses the latter personality(ies) as the true timorous and clueless ones, who simply glosses their shortcomings with conceitedness and expressiveness.

Lol. Your number one says a lot about how absurd other items in your myopic article would be. Stop mistaking hypocritical disingenuousness and conceitedness for smartness and intelligence, respectively.

Mutual close relationship with someone you fancy and vice versa, embedded in altruism, begets pleasurable sensation that's monetarily unquantifiable. Love is real, man - don't mistake sex for love. You pay an olosho to have sex, while you spend on your girlfriend (or your girlfriend spends on you) because you love her.

Nonsense. Act of subservience shouldn't be equated and mistaken for humbleness, respect, loyalty and goodness in general. The value of goodness lies in anima not persona.

More than 90 percent are - if sociopaths and psychopaths are included.

She's just been sincere to herself. There's no justifiable reason for any sane person to mock her. All she needs do now is to be the person she's, not the woman the world wants her to be. Nothing can best one living life at the periphery of conventionalism and doing so conscientiously - the secret of achieving inner peace.

pocohantas:
The way some women throw around that word "sexual assault", is very alarming.

I think a meeting should be called, where women (and men) would be taught what constitutes these offences. Lest an innocent man ends up in jail, like some others.

Doesn't she know what fingers on a butt feels like? How can she even accuse a child of such?

You're improving, keep it up.

pocohantas:
Lol, I think this is a "broke guy", "fuckboiz" "timid", "juvenile" guys problem. You think Gbenga in Shell will have time to spend 5mins telling babe he got her number from "SOMEONE" in her area? When his place of work and charisma is enough to open doors or when Ola is one responsible dude in EY?

As boys become men and men become more accomplished, they stop having much time for some kind bullshit. Bullshit like this...

Thanks for the nice words .

So, you no sabi how holy spirit take de work. Dem give me your phone number as I de fire prayer. . . Na to holla you come remain now. Make you tell me the appropriate time to holla you.

According to you "I don't want to lose her." This means you're yet to conquer yourself, and this is going to be your greatest undoing. Love (genuine love) is neither self-centered, draining, selfish nor greedy. There's nothing wrong in losing - no body should be indispensable in your life and vice versa - so long as you lose honorably. Master the art of losing honorably for the good sake of yourself and that of those you associate with.

Meanwhile, you need to appreciate your woman for her unassumingness - this neither pronounced her harmless nor harmful. Now, you need to find out what it takes to have her understanding/be in her good book. When you find out what it's and live up to it, she'll automatically enjoy the relationship - if it takes immaterial values you possess to have her understanding, know that she's good for you. However, if it takes material values you possess to have her understanding, know that she isn't good for you - of course don't forget that, he who comes into equity must come with clean hands.

Quantify her base on her anima rather than her persona.

This is common among females from Francophone African countries. It's much to do with their worldview/religious inclination. To them the amulates are firstly fashion, and then more for their protection - it's thought to give protection against evil - than using it for harmful tendency towards their partners.

MariaLavina:
LordKO what's your say on this.




PS: Simple English please

Lol. Na ihm be say I go come make you teach simple English. Meanwhile, refer to page 2, I've already made a contribution.

Lol. Words failed OP. Success consciousness vs money consciousness. There's everything wrong with a money conscious woman (person) - expediency is her hallmark. Meanwhile, a success conscious woman is the gold - principle is her hallmark.

A success conscious woman will bring the best out of her man. But a money conscious woman will ruin her man in no small measure. Success consciousness is powered by grit, while money consciousness is powered by greed.

Money is good, but love of it remains the root of all evil.

Faithfulness. This is so because it begets/will beget - directly or indirectly - the other mentions. More so, faithfulness is next most important virtue after love.

The motive of any man who invest in a woman (lover), either pronouncedly or unpronouncedly, is to perpetually subjugate her. Only malevolent men - be they servile or headstrong class of men - do such in their hypocritically disingenuous way. It's evil to invest (to pay) to enter/retain/maintain a relationship with a woman. Of course in most cases they do lose out in the end, when the beneficiary turns out to be malevolent and hypocritically disingenuous too.

Meanwhile, there's nothing wrong in a man that gives altruistically (material or immaterial), anything and everything to his woman.

@OP

E be like say you no sabi maths. 1.1 billion euros is approximately 455.400 billion naira.

Being a rich woman (person) doesn't automatically mean being a strong (strong-minded) woman/independent woman. A headstrong woman isn't the same as a strong-minded woman. Truth is that the worst form of a rich woman to put up with is a headstrong one - every sane person is allergic to toxic. Once more, sane Nigerian men aren't intimidated by rich women - they're only wary of rich headstrong women, because they're toxicity personifies. By the way, being comfortable is different from being rich, just as being rich is different from being wealthy.

Notionally, his assertion may appear wrong, but literally, he's right both from religious and irreligious view points.

It's a man's responsibility to love his wife and constantly show love to her. While it's a woman's responsibility to be submissive to her husband. The difference between love and submissiveness is in their names and applications.

The inestimable worth of a woman (mainly as a wife or girlfriend) lies in the attributes of meekness, selflessness and sweetness - a woman that lack any or all of these attributes can never be a benevolent and virtuous woman. Just as the inestimable worth of a man (mainly as a husband or boyfriend) lies in his thoughtfulness in particular and conscientiousness in general - there can never be anything noble and benevolent about a man that lack any or all of these attributes.

[quote author=Elder0001 post=72228591][/quote]It's obvious that you're mentally unstable. Vamoose and look for your ilk elsewhere.

It's obvious that you don't know the factual meaning of submissiveness. The inestimable value of a woman (as a wife or girlfriend) lies in three attributes, meekness (which submissiveness is its attitudinal manifestation), sweetness and selflessness. Submissiveness isn't the same thing as feeble-mindedness - it doesn't mean absence of self-dominion and outspokenness.

Ambiguity of the word and movement feminism has made it possible for small-minded women to gloss their toxicity with it and, by extension, makes it to appear toxic itself. What you posted depicts a headstrong woman - whether she identifies with feminism or not - who's financially emancipated/or suddenly became financially emancipated. One who's either not in love with her husband or has fallen out of love with her husband or the once well-to-do husband is battling economic recession. A strong-minded/principled woman (good and no nonsense woman) - whether she identifies with feminism or not - cannot exhibit those attitudes.

Yet, as bad as a headstrong woman is, she's better than a quiet and submissive but hypocritically disingenuous woman (feeble-minded woman). With the former, you openly know that you have an enemy, but with the latter you have a frenemy - unless you're discerning enough to dissect people without hassle.

I doff my hat for all strong-minded/principled women.

Pernicious lies.

Amberon1:
All these big big grammar for this small issue, na wa o.

Time no dey, na him make i sum my thoughts in few words.

The topmost hallmark of self-realization is living life at the periphery of conventionalism and doing so conscientiously.

The main issue is that you're yet to achieve self-realization - this is very evident in your submissions herein. Anyway, you need to look beyond her surface possessions (position and fatness of her bank account) and quantify her based on the depth of the immaterial substance she's made of. If she's either feeble-minded or headstrong, discard the thought of marrying her. Meanwhile, if she's strong-minded - and if you're too - marry her since you said that both of you fancies each other and are passionate about each other. The immeasurable worth of a woman lies in her meekness, selflessness and sweetness.

Endorsed. A simple - but difficult - act of change of ethical leanings by at least 25 percent of independent-minded and productive Nigerians of different ethnic groups will automatically change the cause of the country for good.