(My Truth)
Trigger Warning ⚠️
(You will be glad you read this though)

1 can cook. I have been doing this since my undergraduate days.
I can clean. I have been doing that for as long as I can remember.
I will look after my kids too. Play with them. Make out time for them. Do everything I need to do for them. I can do a lot more for my home.
Sure, I can't give birth to the kids. I need a wife for that. I guess this is the only reason I should need a wife. Hmm. But then I can adopt a child and be a single dad for life.
This makes me wonder what I need a woman for as a man. For sex? Sex seems to be a good reason as it can't be done outside marriage as a Christian. But then. I can live and die without sex. I have been without it since birth, so I don't see why I can't survive without it till death. So why do I need a wife?

The issue is that most women have tied their relevance to a man to all these house chores and the likes. While some men may need that, that should not be the primary reason why a man should need you in his life if you know your worth.
There is no place in the Bible recorded that the woman is supposed to be the one doing domestic functions. The Bible called women helpmate but didn't specify the kind of help you would be rendering, so the man, in their wisdom of old, decided what to practice based on how their time permitted them, and that was passed down from generation to generation.

These things were traditions of old. That's why people use the phrase, traditional men/women. They are man-made, and the people of those times saw the need to put women in that position as the men went out to get the daily bread. So the man took up the financial responsibility of the home while the woman took up the domestic responsibility.
So today, when women are asked what they can offer a man, they mention the domestic work that every reasonable adult should be able to do for themselves, both male and female. What these women and some men have failed to understand is time. Time has changed things. We are no longer in that era where women didn't work, and men had to shoulder all things finance. That's why today people use the phrase modern man/woman.
Today women are in business. CEOs, doctors, lawyers, presidents, etc. Time has changed things. Old - New = Time. Time is the difference, yet most of you still think you are in the past. That's why you will keep fighting over unreasonable things. Today men and women should be fully involved in the domestic work and financing the relationship because that's the time we are in today.

That is why whenever this conversation of money comes up in a relationship and how it's the man's role to carry the financial responsibility, it just pisses me off.
Do I have a problem with men carrying the financial responsibility? No. Not at all. My problem is that many women use this to become very selfish and stingy in their relationships and marriage.
A full-grown woman that God has blessed is making almost the same amount the man is making, yet out of selfishness, wickedness, and lack of wisdom, she wants the man to pay all the bills knowing fully well that the economy is bad right now, and it takes two people now earning from a different place to be able to raise many kids and give them a good life and enjoy a good life together too.
She holds these mindsets, and you even hear about some that allow their husbands to pay these bills until.....https://www.allsinglesandmarried.com/2022/08/why-i-dont-need-wife-as-man.html

1. Counselling helps you to talk with each other without silencing each other's voice
2. Counselling helps you see things the way your partner sees them, not just the way you see them
3. Counselling opens your eyes by confronting you to look at yourself
4. Counselling offers a place of vulnerability. I have witnessed the power of love when the couple opens up. People are going through so many unspoken struggles
5. Counselling demands couples to talk about the issues they have been hiding under the carpet for years with each suffering in silence
6. Counselling allows grown ups to realize how what they went through in the past affects their today and how they relate
7. Counselling completely silences egos and pride, then opens up the door to reasoning
8. Counselling gives couples a chance to laugh again. I enjoy this part. To see two people share warmth
9. Counselling gives a couple a chance to walk down Memory Lane and remember how and why they fell in love
10. Counselling allows a couple a chance to look back and see where they dropped the ball and how each contributed to the fall
11. Counselling reminds couples that they are a team and they need to stop thinking about self
12. If children are involved, counselling looks at the bigger picture and its implications on the innocent children. Every parent thinks they are the best mother and father but parenting allows adults to see things from the perspective of the children
13. Counselling offers clarity. A safe place to declutter, decipher and find direction
14. Counselling offers a safe place for crying, venting, breaking down and a chance to be heard in this noisy and busy world
15. Counselling offers a place for healing. The start of a new season of walking better together
16. Counselling gives a couple a second, third or fourth chance to rekindle their first love and save their precious union
17. Counselling helps couples to redirect their love. Lots of couples are destroying their relationship/marriage simply because they don't know what to do
18. Counselling allows a couple to sufficiently prepare for marriage or to lead their existing marriage with better understanding and fulfilment
19. Counselling allows a couple to look ahead and find solutions, a joint vision and a path to progress
20. Counselling reminds bruised, lost or confused couples that love is not dead

I've watched during my counseling session with married who have challenges in their marriage that many did not prepare for marriage but the only wedding. This also involves many singles I've counseled.

1. Gain KNOWLEDGE. Knowledge acquisition is very important in preparing for marriage. Some are of the school of thought that experience is the best teacher when it comes to marriage, but I would tell you it's not because you could possibly discover from others' mistakes through knowledge acquisition.
A married man came to me some time ago for counseling and I asked him how many books he has read in his five years and above marriage, he said he has not read one.

How can you acquire knowledge?
1 Reading relationship and marriage textbooks. I expect you to have read a minimum of 15 books about relationships and marriage before getting married.
2 Listening to relationship and marriage messages.
3 Attending relationships and marriage discussions and conferences.
4 Learning from the married. Knowledge acquisition is not sufficient but the application of it in your relationship and marriage - WISDOM.

2. DEVELOP Differentia RELATIONSHIPS WITH GOD. This comes by being genuinely born again (freedom from sin), the purification of your mind, and Holy Ghost baptism.
This comes through personal study of the Bible, prayer, and constant fellowship with the Brethren.
You should know how to hear God clearly.
You should have grown up to an extent you don't need any visionary or Man of God to say this is your partner.
You should know how to commune with God.

3. DISCOVER AND FULFILL GOD'S PURPOSE. If you have not uncovered your purpose on earth, you are not supposed to be in a relationship because you would manipulate yourself or your partner.
Purpose first before relationship.
Ask God to show you the reason he formed you.
What are the things you Love doing even if you are not paid?
Your calling could be to be an Evangelist, Apostle, Pastor, Prophet, or teacher of God's word.
You can manifest any of the above in preaching, singing, or drama ministry.
You need to discover yourself and start fulfilling your purpose when you are single.

4. CULTIVATE GOOD CHARACTER. It's better to stay alone unmarried than to leave with a man or woman of bad character in marriage.
A good character talks about SELF Managing.
Can you control your SEXUAL Desire as a single?
Are you still maintaining VIRGINITY or PURITY TILL MARRIAGE?
Do you address people with respect or talk anyhow with no regard for men or women?
How often do you get angry? Can you control your anger?
If your mouth still runs like tap water while handling people, marriage is not for you yet but taming your tongue.
If you easily get provoked and destroy things, marriage is not for you yet but taming your anger.
Bad character not tamed as single will ruin a marriage.

5. Outer APPEARANCE. Are you aware that you will be mostly addressed the way you dress?
Dressing well and stinking nice is very good and it does not mean you are not spiritual.
An oversize skirt is not a measure of spirituality!
Flashy and expressway trousers are not a measure of spirituality!
Color blending is very important as well.
What about having nice Hair cut?
Let your Hair Do celebrate God as a sister.
Iron your clothes with gator my beloved brother
Shine your shoes.
Develop good Spoken English...
Don't be like Bro. Akande in the movie "final contest."
Don't say "I am here just to proposal to you."

5. BE DOMESTICATED OR HOMELY.
If you don't love cooking or you can't cook as a sister, marriage is not the next thing but cooking training.
Learn how to serve food properly in the dining as a sister ...
This doesn't exempt the brothers from being good cooks as well.
You are not marrying a maid but a wife as a Brother.

6. LIVE WITH THE MARRIED.
You can learn the good part of your parent's marriage if they are still together.
Staying with good married people will give you a clue of how a model marriage should be.
What about taking care of their kids?
What about helping them with house chores?
Celebrate the married!
Love children and take care of them.

7. BE SINGLE. Singleness means being able to stand on your own without attaching your life to any brother or sister in a relationship.
You can be single and PURPOSEFUL!
You can be single and not STUPID!
You can be single and not CURSED!

8. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY. Endeavor to take financial, spiritual, and academic responsibilities when you are single.
Stop blaming people for your failure, lack of money, and inadequacies.
Lead your life successfully before thinking of leading someone else in marriage.
Prov.4.7 - Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.
Prov.4.8 - Exalt her, and she shall promote thee: she shall bring thee to honor when thou dost embrace her.
I asked an aspiring couple how they were preparing for marriage and I was told they have have planned all the food, drink, and venue for the wedding day.

People prepare for school, jobs, health, and other spheres of life but do not prepare for marriage. The saying "Proper Preparation Prevent Poor Performance" also applies to marriage. A marriage you don't prepare for, you cannot enjoy.
May true Love Find you and you will not make a marital error in Jesus name. Amen
Written by https://www.allsinglesandmarried.com

One of the ways your (my) marriage will not add to the rate of divorce in our world today is for you to marry your mate and if you are married already, make your spouse your mate! You see that statement of ‘ Am I your mate?’ does not apply in marriage. You must marry your mate. I will like to talk on six dimensions you and the person you want to marry or you have married must be mate.

SIX(6) ATTRIBUTES OF A MARRIAGE PARTNER YOU SHOULD DESIRE TO MARRY
1. MARRY_YOUR_SPEAKING_MATE
Marry someone you can speak together and understand each other. Communication is very crucial in marriage. Don’t marry someone that, when you are saying ‘A’ he or she will be saying ‘ Z’ Once there is a dichotomy in your speaking and understanding level, you can’t enjoy that marriage. So many men go to bars to hang out with friends and gist till 11 pm because they know their wives can’t engage in any meaningful intellectual discussion. So many women prefer to hang out with their female friends because they know their husband's mentality when it comes to vital issues and discussions are very low. Marry your speaking Mate!

2. MARRY_YOUR_SCHOOL_MATE
By this I mean, marry someone you can learn together and improve together. Don’t marry ‘ Mr. Know all’ or ‘Miss Know all’. Don’t marry someone who is rigid and not open to new ideas, new ways of doing things, or new innovations. Marriage is a great institution. From day one till death do you part, you will keep learning. Marry your ‘school’ mate; someone who is ready to learn with you.

3. MARRY_YOUR_SPIRITUAL_MATE
Marriage is not just a social union. It is also a spiritual union. Marry someone who knows the same God you know. Don’t marry someone who believes in God is different from yours. Two can’t work together except they be agreed ( Amos 3:3, Joshua 23: 11-15, 2 Corinthians 6:14-18). The spiritual controls the physical, even in marriage. Check for spiritual compatibility in that person you want to marry.

4. MARRY_YOUR_SPENDING_MATE
Don’t marry someone who is stingy. There are so many expenses to cater to for in marriage. A stingy guy in courtship won’t suddenly become a generous husband in marriage. Don’t marry a lady that has the financial philosophy of ‘ My husband’s money is our money, but my money is my money’. Marry someone who believes in the dignity of labour, someone who is ready to work, not a lazy fellow who just wants to be a consumer and not a contributor. Marry someone who is ready to spend and be spent for the growth and success of the family.

5. MARRY_YOUR_SEX_MATE
Marry someone you have sexual feelings for. Sexual feeling is not a sin. It is an instinct God put in every person. Sex plays a major role in the success of any marriage. Any man you don’t have emotional feelings for, don’t marry the person. If you don’t have emotional feelings for that lady, leave her alone. A spiritual being is also a sexual being. No matter how spiritual you both may be in your marriage, you won’t be praying for 24 hours in a day. You won’t be reading the Bible or worshiping God 24/7. You will have sex! You will romance! You will flirt with each other! You will make babies. So, marry someone you can connect with sexually. It will help you to enjoy your marriage so much!
Lastly,

6. MARRY_YOUR_SOCIAL_MATE
Don’t marry someone you won’t be proud to go out with. Don’t marry someone you will be feeling shy to introduce to people with boldness. Marry someone you are comfortable to hang out with. Marry someone you are socially compatible with. Don’t marry an anti-social person.

You might be wondering if you can find all the ‘mates’ in one person. Yes! The answer is YES! You don’t need to marry 6 guys/ladies to have all these mates. One person can be all that for you. If you also work on yourself and build your life, you can be all that for the guy/lady that will marry you. The promise of God for you is this: ‘Seek and read from the book of the LORD: Not one of these shall be missing; none shall be without her mate. For the mouth of the LORD has commanded, and his Spirit has gathered them.’ (Isaiah 34:16).
Say it loud and clear ‘I shall not lack a mate!'.

Real men never open their mouths to ask for respect, they command it naturally.
The day you start asking for respect is the day you lose it. If you have it, you won't ask or demand it! It comes to you effortlessly!
Every woman respects men who have these grades:

1) YOU ARE WISE. Nothing drives me to bow before a man than understanding, and wisdom. When you open your mouth and timeless jewels flow out, I stand stunned, dazed, wowed, and glued. I want to listen to you over and over again but when you open your mouth, and nothing comes out but crap, senseless jokes, stupid words, and banter, boy, I duck, no, I pick a race. My husband is a man of wisdom. I love listening to him over and over and over again.

2) YOU MAKE Banknotes. Men who make cool money control ladies' respect effortlessly, call us greedy, that's your enterprise! No woman wants to suffer in marriage! You must carry your two legs out of your house every morning and make good money if you want your wife to respect you. Any man who depends on his wife to eat needs serious deliverance! Forget about yahoo boys and pray for financial success bro! Not every millionaire stole pants for money rituals! Not all CEOs are yahoo boys! Not all business tycoons buried human heads under their businesses! God is a giver of TRUE riches! The Bible says, "The BLESSINGS of the Lord maketh RICH!" Rich men command respect easily, you may hate to hear it, but it is the truth. However, start small and grow big! That is the trouble of today's youths. No one wants to start small. Everyone wants to ride "Logo Benz" hence the money ritual! You better save yourself and generations unborn from untimely death by staying clear of blood money. Start little, work hard and cultivate big, that's how to be great. Righteous women respect hardworking men and will help them when required.

3) YOU HAVE SELF-CONTROL. A man who stares at women's breasts, buttocks, and lips is sick! No, respecting a woman is different. Men inherently admire attractive women but if you stare, you STARE like "Eja Ojuyobo", you know that big-eyed fish, you need a psychiatrist's watch! Look once and look away, that's okay, that's decent. I know men look so telling you not to look is unrealistic. I'm against staring and drooling! A man who controls his libido commands a woman's respect any day, any time! If you must grab and grope every time you see a woman you are a piss-off! Honorable men respect ladies! Men who command women's respect have a clean, unadulterated, bed sheet not wrinkled or degraded with lust and premarital sex!

4) THEY ARE GENEROUS. Givers are involuntary respect commanders! Giving is not about the volume but the circumstances of the heart. Some men are so stingy they must ask for sex in return for a #100 recharge card. What's your problem? Are you so poverty-stricken you can't release #500 without asking for sex? Is #500 your God? Is it the end of your life? Will you die if you help the daughter of Sarah with just #500? FIVE HUNDRED NAIRA! I berate that uncharitable, backward, stale spirit out of your life in Jesus' name! Givers are respected commanders! Learn to give to God, your family, and your parents, blessings will flow into your life effortlessly.
5) THEY LOVE GOD. God chasers are reflexive respect commanders! When I see a man who adores the Lord, who LOVES the Lord, oh my, oh my, my hubby is so so sexy to me, oh my God!

6) THEY LOVE THEIR WIVES. It is an irresponsible man that will ill-treat his wife and anticipate her to respect him. It is the son of satan that will starve, abuse, and even beat his wife and expect her to scream "Yes sir!" To his commands and leaps at his every beck and call! It is a bushman that will overlook his wife and expect her to honor him. Ho- what? You don't deserve honor, sir. The Bible says, "Give honor to whom honor is owed". Honour is not due to a stingy, reckless drunkard and a womanizer! Respect is not commanded Huncle, it is earned!
Start earning it from today and you will feel better, love yourself more, and attain more results in your relationships, personal life, profession, and business. Momma cares!
Source....https://www.allsinglesandmarried.com

The majority of males throughout the world engage in a few behaviors daily that have the potential to injure or destroy their sperm; however, the vast majority of these men are unaware of these manners.

According to men's health, the activities you participate in regularly are some of the primary reasons your sperm might become damaged. In this article, I will educate you on which dangerous activities you should steer clear of to keep your sperm healthy. 1) If you don't eat fish, that's one thing you do regularly that could potentially be harmful to your sperm.

Fish is a good source of omega-3 fatty acids, which promote healthy and active sperm in your body. On the other hand, a lack of fish in one's diet results in aberrant and harmful sperm. Therefore, it is recommended that you increase the amount of fish in your......https://www.allsinglesandmarried.com/2022/07/3-things-you-do-regularly-that-can.html

1. Not all relationships must lead to marriage. Some relationships are for a reason, others are for a season only a few are for a lifetime. If it doesn’t work out don’t kill yourself because it was for something. Discover the purpose and move on.
2. Don’t give a man or a woman the totality of your heart before giving the totality of your heart to God. Love that person but put God first.
3. Don’t get carried away with beauty or money, if that person’s inner person cannot keep you, his money or her beauty cannot either.
4. Love is never enough, understanding, compatibility, wisdom, patience and
tolerance is equally important.
5. When the negative signs are more than the positive signs. It is better to withdraw your heart before it gets ‘broken’.
6. Extreme jealousy is the quickest way to break that relationship.
7. Don’t demand trust, earn it or build it or show it.
8. Never compare him or her to someone else.
9. Your relationship should not only be marriage-driven but care, love, and concern drive.
10. Don’t marry him or her because you saw him or her in church. Many are in
church but not in touch with God.
11. If God gives you the woman or man of your dreams you may dream the
remaining days of your life. God will only give you the woman or man for your
dream, not of your dreams. Discover your purpose and you will attract the right
person. If your heart is with God, He will keep men or women from tampering with it. Proverbs 23:26.
Make peace within yourself and leave the rest to God.
Please SHARE until you heal a broken heart.

After Biodun left, my Secretary got up from the floor and made towards the chair to sit down, my wife stopped her …
Lara; what do you want to do? You want to still sit down on my chair, don’t try it, olorìburuku oshi. The floor is where you belong, you either sit on it or stand where you are” …

I felt uncomfortable. Let the girl go and end all these, but I kept my mouth shut, knowing I caused everything, I didn’t want to spike my wife more than she’s already spiked. I just couldn’t wait for the chapter to be over. She continued …
Lara; where’s the iphone 12 I gave to you?
Secretary; I have it here, ma”
Lara; alright, remove your sim from it and hand it over to me, immediately. I didn’t buy you a phone for you to use it to share my husband with me. Go and buy an iphone with your........https://www.allsinglesandmarried.com/2022/07/i-feel-so-bad-for-cheating-on-my-wife_01287830132.html

She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again. Her crying turned into wailing, her voice louder than it was when this whole thing started...
Biodun; I am losing my patience. You’ve suddenly turned dúmb abi? You that never stops talking, or has the cat got your tongue ni? I said, what did you go to the hotel to do with your boss, since you said nothing happened?”
Secretary; I didn’t go to the hotel with him, Biodun. I didn’t. I swear, nothing happened”

Biodun; is this one okay or what? Be like you want Ogun to frÿ you right where you are. You admitted earlier to have gone to the hotel with him, now you are saying you didn’t go with him. Is this the type of person you are? Your cousin’s husband, a woman that has done everything for you, someone you never stopped singing her praise all the time. The last time we were together, you kept praying for her, that she will never know sorrow, while you were busy planning on how to get her husband as your sugar daddy. This is really mean o, the height of meanness. For the last time, what did you go to the hotel to do with your boss, you this werey?”

Secretary; erm, see, Biodun, what I mean is…He was already at the hotel by the time he called me to come. I didn’t go with him, I went alone”
Biodun lost his patience completely, he made a move towards her, I got up quickly to stop him. I thought he was going to hit her. No matter what, no one should lay hands on another person, not on my watch …
Me; Biodun, calm down, please. I know you are very.....https://www.allsinglesandmarried.com/2022/07/i-feel-so-bad-for-cheating-on-my-wife_25.html

Some fights in your marriage are not the result of irreconcilable differences, they are inspired by generational curses!
Some singles have sought my counsel on how to have a great, hitch free marriage because, they come from broken homes. They want to know what to do to have lasting marriages so that their marriages won't break down like that of their ancestors!
If you notice a pattern of marital crises, separation, divorce or early widowhood in your lineage, you need to rise up and break that curse!
There are families where they don't marry right. No matter how much the person loves them, God speaks to them and men of God confirm, they will still go ahead and marry someone bad for them who treats them like trash!
Do you notice any wrong patterns in your family? What does your parents' marriage look like? What of your siblings' marriage? How about your ancestors?

This pattern manifests as anti-marriage behaviours/attitude that stifles life out of the marriages!
Some people come from a generation of violent anger! When they get angry, they literally vibrate and can kill anyone that crosses their path! This leads to domestic violence or murder!
Some come from a generation of whoredom! The man/ woman must have an affair no matter how godly, nice, kind, generous or sexy their spouse is!
Some, it is gossip! They gossip their partners to friends and enemies until the witches in their villages has heard enough and put an end to the marriage!

Some, it is stinginess! They are stingy to both God and man to the point they die of ulcer because they are even stingy to put food their stomach! Just because, they are so tight fisted with money, paying tithe or offering is like cutting off their heads, off their necks! They live in perpetual lack and want, moving from debt to debt, robbing a Peter to pay Paul, owing everyone including themselves to the point that walking in their environment is a problem!
There are many marriages in debt.

Very hard working couples, excellent planners, but somehow, something seems to work against them and they find themselves owing money they can’t pay back!
To some, it is waste of resources. Give them five million naira today, they will look for something worth ten million naira to buy and end up in 5 million naira debt! They must owe! And that debt is caused by covetousness, greed, wasteful spending, lack of planning and accumulation of liabilities..."
Read more on breaking generational curses from my ebook: THE 10 COMMON ENEMIES OF MARRIAGE
© Seun Oladele, 2022.

HUSBANDS, EDUCATE YOUR WIVES...
On the wedding day, the bride's father officially hands over his daughter to you meaning, "I have stopped all my training right here, now continue from where I stopped." Most grooms get excited at the thought of the wedding night (which is good) but oblivious of the huge responsibility they are carrying home called "wife"!
A woman must be trained forever, if you don't, she will go haywire! That is the truth!

Women are easily influenced, that is why social media has destroyed and is still destroying many homes beyond repair!
Some men think the best way to train their wives is to shout at her, beat her, disgrace her, deny her sex or do something crazier! What's the meaning of that nonsense? Is she an animal? Is she a kid? Is she a fool? You don't train an intelligent, mature human being that way!
Educate your wife sir! That was Adam's number one problem. He refused to teach Eve properly about the consequence of eating the forbidden fruit or educate her about how to respond to opposition and she fell flat on her face!

1. EDUCATE YOUR WIFE ABOUT HER CHOICE OF CLOTHING: I get angry when I see married women with extremely skin tight clothes, miniskirts, seductive wears and I wander if they have a husband at home. A virtuous woman is properly dressed both at home and outside. If she dresses like a prostitute, and men are chasing her around, you are to blame! Your wife reflects your training! A wife properly taught and educated by husband should know what turns men on and should never wear them out of her apartment.

I used to wear mini skirts as a single lady and I saw no big deal about it. I used to walk very fast and it made my walk easier. Hubby preached consistently, helping me see how it affects men and never gave up till I dropped them. I do not wear mini skirts anymore.
Early in my marriage, I used to wear skin tight trousers. It made me feel smart and walk fast. Again, hubby sat me down and educated me till I dropped them. I don't wear tight trousers any more.
When married women wear certain clothes that are socially unacceptable, I used to ask myself : "Are the husbands aware their wives stepped out of the house with this clothe on?" Same for women who go about the streets without wearing bra under their clothes. Some rush out of the house with transparent gowns to quickly buy something. Where are their husbands?

2. EDUCATE YOUR WIFE ABOUT HER CHOICE OF WORDS: May God help any man who listens attentively to an angry, abusive woman. He may drink sniper! A woman's mouth is sharper than a two edged sword when angry! I used to be like that. They would flow like tap water and sting! With my husband's constant teaching, correction and patience, my mouth got "born again". It wasn't easy though. But it is possible. Educate your wife sir.

3. EDUCATE HER TO MAXIMIZE HER POTENTIAL: My husband is the brain behind my online appearance. He encouraged me to launch out. He taught me blogging. He said there is gold in me and I should go for it. He is the brain behind USAC. He is the one behind the scene, encouraging, inspiring, motivating and never giving up. He is the brain behind my books. He encourages me to give my best, write with passion, focus in impacting lives. He does not accept mediocrity or shabbiness. He spurs me on to excellence daily. Without Adewunmi, there won't be me here at all. Great women with great marriages have testified to this as well: late Pastor Bimbo Odukoya, Pastor Funke Felix Adejumo, Pastor Nike Adeyemi, Pastor (Dr) Joyce Meyers and a host of others.

4. EDUCATE HER TO GROW SPIRITUALLY: There was a time in my marriage I couldn't pray anymore. It was a spiritual attack. My spiritual life blanked out completely. Hubby stood by me, encouraging me, preaching to me, educating me, never giving up and staying "on my neck" till I bounced back!
Behind every successful woman is a great man. No virtuous woman dropped from the sky!
Before you go comparing your wife with another woman, compare yourself with her husband, are you doing what he did to have such a wife?

Some men complain their wives are very stubborn, they don't accept correction bla...bla...bla...there is no one who does not have elements of stubbornness in them including you.
Intelligent people don't just accept everything thrown in their face hook line and sinker, they need to weigh the pros and cons and see if their well established life style is worth dumping for the new one. You must patiently, consistently let them see the benefit of the new lifestyle you are introducing to them and never give up till they accept completely.

I didn't accept hubby's explanation initially! I thought he was a super religious and insecure husband! I thought I was married and no man was looking at me. Why giving himself headache over nothing?
I thought I was sexually disciplined and tolerate no nonsense from men so what I wore was no big deal! And yes, I was tough! Men knew that I had high standards and you dare not cross my boundaries!
That not withstanding, a virtuous woman must look like a virtuous woman. I am now the opposite of what I used to be.
Hubby constantly tells me I am a miracle! A walking miracle!
I have changed a lot.

His unconditional love, patience, prayers, correction, tough love and persistence made me a virtuous woman today.
God can use you to change your wife and influence her generation.
You will not fail in your marriage in Jesus' name.
You will not fail as a husband in Jesus' name.
You will not fail your generation in Jesus ' name.
Thanks for reading. God bless you. Cheers!

© Seun Oladele, 2019; reposted, 2022.

For years now many pulpiteers and preachers have condemned Delilah as a prostitute and the one responsible for the ruining of the great man Samson. Of course she did. But then, I have this question for them: What made Samson keep coming back to Delilah even though he knew she wanted to find out the secret of his strength?
Could it have been just sex? I doubt. This is because there were prostitutes that Samson slept with. Or could it be that Delilah was the most beautiful girl in Philistine? I doubt that too.
I personally think that Delilah knew HOW TO KEEP HER MAN AT HOME. How to make a man return back to her laps.
Here are few secrets I guess she used and every woman can use to keep her man. IF A MAN IS UNFAITHFUL…THE WOMAN OBVIOUSLY HAS LOST GROUND AND HASN’T BEEN DOING HER JOB WELL.
Let me share with you some Strategies I feel can be of help.I call it….

DELILAH STRATEGIES:
DELILAH STRATEGY 1: SMELL GOOD; LOOK GOOD. Don’t dress in wrapper after you are married.When your husband comes back from work, what does he see? A woman wrapped like and old, worn out woman? But that is not what he sees at work on those lovely secretaries and co workers.
Don’t smell soup or smoke when he comes back from work. Smell good, romantic and be on your sexiest bump shot so that when he comes home, he wondering and staring at you. Prayer won’t keep your husband at home. This will!…prayers
come later on once you have done that.
DELILAH STRATEGY 2: COOK WELL. Your husband should WANT TO COME BACK HOME TO EAT YOUR MEALS. All that talk about the maid does that is foolish.After good sex, a good meal is what ANY MAN wants from his wife.Will your husband be able to call his friends over to his house to eat your meal? Sister, learn how to cook.Stop making excuses.
DELILAH STRATEGY 3: BE HIS NUMBER ONE ENCOURAGER: No one should praise your husband more than you.NO ONE. Let him know that you are his number one cheer leader .Ask him about his business. Don’t advise him, just listen to him. Listening is the biggest encouragement he can receive from you.
Submission is a charm. it activates love naturally.
Your husband is not your friend or partner, he is your lord. Give him the honour.
DELILAH STRATEGY 4: GIVE HIM GOOD SEX.
Let every sexual time be one he would remember. Read the book ART OF MARRIAGE by Tim Lahaye. It would be of great help. Don’t take your sexual life for granted. Many do. I have talked with not less than 5 married men who complain about their wives’ inexperience and refusal to learn about sex.
Sex is an art.It can be learned..but please do it in marriage. There is less guilt and you are on the side of God.God watches married people have sex.And he is disappointed when any of them goes away unfulfilled. He created it and believes that if we do it properly we can get it right.
All the best.
You will not fail in marriage in Jesus name
George Essien

A Pastor pushed his pregnant wife from a storey building! Those are abnormal expression of anger! They are under strong influence of a demon! The demon of anger! I read the story of a woman who poured hot oil on her husband while using the toilet. Anger does not affect men alone, it affects women also!
Murderous jealousy, uncontrollable sexual appetite that sleeps with any walking or creeping thing is demonic!
One married man was literally shaking the moment he saw a beautiful lady passed by! My husband was stunned! There are women who are never satisfied with one man. Even if they marry the tallest, richest, most handsome man in the world, they must have sex with the shortest, ugliest and poorest!
When you have serious character issue to deal with in your spouse, shouting, motivational talks, quotable quotes, yoga, early morning chants, positive confessions won't work! You need the word of God and prayer -special prayer of intercession for your spouse to put an end to it!
You need to take authority in Christ to bind those demons and cast them out of your spouse and out of your home!
It may not even be your spouse who has a problem, it could be you. If you are having serious character issue affecting your marriage and relationships, you need to ask God for help!
Ask the Lord to empower you by the power of the Holy Spirit to live a holy life and please him! You need to take authority over the demon behind that habit/character...."
Or your marriage and relationships will keep experimenting crises...

Do you mean they wedded in a church?
Somebody should talk to me before I lose it.

Women may expect their men to know when they are not in the mood for sex and not ask or when they are in the mood and ask. I got so frustrated countless nights, I almost hit hubby! He didn't get it when I was caressing his body. He ought to know that means, I want sex.
"You should have plainly told me" He protested when I accused him of negligence.
"You should have got the signal." I retorted.
"Why can't you just ask?"
"Why can't you just get it?'
"There were times I responded and you went to sleep"
"Well, your hands made me feel sleepy."
"So my hands are sleeping tablets abi?" I smiled.
"When they made me sleep nko?"
"It's not my fault I don't respond to your signal then. Learn to ask. I ask when I want sex or....https://www.allsinglesandmarried.com/2022/07/how-to-ask-for-sex-from-your-lover.html

Most of you saying you can't marry your age mate or a guy you are even two days older than I have a question for you.
How many couples have you ever seen that attributed the success or failure of their marriage to age differences?
Instead of looking at the core things that make relationships and marriages work or fail, you are killing yourself over age.
Some of you ladies shout you can't respect a guy younger than you or submit to him, but you submit to your boss younger than you in the office. He sends you on errands and demands your presence whenever he needs you, and you rush to him screaming yes, sir.
But when it comes to relationships and marriage you can no longer submit to a younger person. Do you think true maturity is by age? It will shock you to know it is not and will never be.

It's your preference, oh, but you don't even know how it is doing you yet because you are not ready to get married because if you were, that would be the least of your worries.
Someone came to me the other day asking the same question about the age difference as a man. Age has nothing to do with the success of any relationship aside from the extremes of child abuse. ( A teenager marrying an old man or woman).
But when it has to be between two adults, whether the man is younger or older, it doesn't determine if your marriage will fail or not. What matters more is their level of emotional, spiritual, mental, and financial maturity because there are 35 years old men and women that act like boys and girls, and there are 22 years old that act like super matured people.

Man, love and lead your woman the right way, and woman, love and submit to your man the right way, and both of you will enjoy. As long as you are committed to working as a team, age is but a number.
For some people, it's usually the fear of what people will say. The person that came to me for advice, this was his major concern. I am like these people who you are giving this kind of power over your happiness don't really care about you.
People must talk, whether you do good or bad, and also, if you don't do anything at all, they will still talk. But after two weeks, they will all move on and forget.

They will look for the next new story to talk about. So stop worrying about what people will say and marry who you love even if the age is not the societal standard of the man bring older. As long as both of you understand yourselves and are happy with each other, please carry go.
For the women that say they won't respect the man or will just see him as a brother, what I have seen over the years is that they are the ones that have respect issues, it is not about the man is younger. You don't need someone to be older than you before you can respect them.
Stop looking at the fact you came into the world first. Look at the truth if this man is your dream man and if he is spiritual, emotional, and mentally mature to lead you. If he is, then submit to him and enjoy yourself. If you go and ask, I have never heard any couple say it's because the man is older; that's why my marriage is working. Never.

Some of you would have been happily married with beautiful kids, but you are here allowing age to hinder that.
If you fall in love with someone, be it a man or woman, and you like each other so much and are actually working out fine, and you later discover their age (assuming you never asked and never knew). If that information makes you change how you look at them (from positive to negative) or treat them, then you never loved them, and they are not the problem, nor was age the problem. You are the problem, and you need to work on yourself.

For some of you at a certain age (little disclaimer. Not all of you), you need to stop asking mature people about their age and just talk to them and see if there is a connection and if both of you are okay with each other's vibes, core values and other important areas that need to be covered. And if they all check out, get married.
Let age difference not keep you single when you could be married and happy with someone of the age gap you thought wasn't for you.
Just my 2cent, but like always, you can still do you. Let those that this message is for learning from it and do what's best for them.
Till next time.

By Profit Eneh marriage and relationship conselor

Lara; wait, what?” …
I covered my face with my hands in shame, I couldn’t meet my wife’s look. Why did I let myself go this far? …
Tunde; I am so sorry, Lara. If only you could see my heart. You don’t deserve this, I know, but please, find a place in your heart to forgive me. See my knees on the ground, I am in front of you in all sincerity, begging you to forgive me”
Lara; Oh, Tunde. How could you? My little cousin of all people. You should have picked up an ashawo somewhere, someone I don’t know, instead of my cousin. I could swear that you were the last man on earth that can stoop to this level. I don’t know if my heart can carry this, I don’t know. I am shaking, my heart is breaking into pieces, and breathing is starting to become a task for me. Tunde, why? Have I not loved you enough? What have I done wrong to deserve this level of humiliation and heartbreak?”
Tunde; You didn’t do anything wrong. It was my fault, I blame myself for everything and I’m ready to pay for it, however, and whichever way you want, all I ask is for forgiveness. Please, I am down on my knees, forgive me. I promise to live the rest of my life making it up to you. I beg of you”
Lara; when did this happen and when did it start? For how long now?”
Tunde; nothing started, Lara. This has never happened before, I told you. It was yesterday when I left the house, during the argument we had. I drove into a hotel and called her, she met me there, one thing led to another, but we didn’t go all the way. She didn’t even see me completely. Your call brought back my senses”
Lara; Oh, just yesterday. Wow! Tunde, I am finished. I need you to leave this room, I don’t want to see you or be around you now. You can even leave the house for all I care, just leave, please”
Tunde; Lara, please, don’t do this, I am begging you, it’s the middle of the night and I don’t have anywhere else to go, even if I did, I don’t want to leave you alone like this, please”
Lara; really? You don’t have anywhere else to go? But you were the one that ran to your Secretary yesterday. Go back to the hotel and call her, I’m sure she will be at your beck and call, now that you’ve given her the pass. Just leave this minute, please”
Tunde; No, Lara, I will not leave. Whatever you want to do to me, I will be here. I will not leave you in this state, I’ve done enough harm already, I just want to make things right. I know it won’t go away like that, but I will give everything to pay for the wrong that I’ve done you”
She started pacing the room, walked into the closet, and came out. I thought she was going to get something to hit me with, but..........https://www.allsinglesandmarried.com/2022/07/i-feel-very-bad-for-cheating-on-my-wife.html

If you can't handle their past. This is very important.
I keep counseling men who are deeply hurt and find it difficult forgiving their wives for not giving them their virginity when they gave her their own. The husband is mad his wife has had multiple sex partners before marriage while he kept himself all these while.
Some guys told me the moment their partner revealed her past, they became disappointed, frustrated, very bitter and highly irritable.
One lady told me her fiance's attitude towards her changed dramatically since she revealed her past to him.
These men's action may sound immature or irrational but it is not, you can't understand them if you are not a virgin.
Keeping one's virginity till marriageable age is not a child's play! It's not easy burning with strong sexual desire, refusing to yield to it, shunning all sexual advances/temptation, keeping yourself pure - untouched, brand new only to give it all to a lady/man who had engaged in all manner of sexual escapades before marriage.
The blood of Jesus is what makes the difference.
When the lady who has engaged in sexual sins in the past asks God for forgiveness and repents, to God she is a new creature (2 Corinthians 5:17) and deserves God's best in marriage.
Since God has forgiven her (For all have sinned is what the Bible says -we all need forgiveness), you should forgive her and ask God for grace to forget about her past.
You can only do this if she is God's will for you. If she is not, forgetting her past will be difficult and marriage with her will be hell. Each love making session with her in marriage will leave you bitter, jealous and resentful as you keep imagining the men she had had sex with. This can lead to serious sex issues like erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation.
I tell guys with this feelings to end the relationship!
I told the lady whose fiance couldn't accept her past to forget about him and pray for her own husband.
Some ladies use this antagonistic reaction from men to hide their past so they will be accepted in marriage. That is sitting on a time bomb! One way or the other, your past will come to light and the trust your husband had for you will be buried!
Let your partner know about your past so they can make their decision either to accept or forget about you. Do not lie or pretend so someone can marry you!
God loves you unconditionally. He will give you a man who will accept you the way you are and love you unconditionally regardless of your past mistakes if you will trust him and wait for his time.
Nothing destroys a man's trust for you faster than tempting him sexually in courtship despite having a past. The man will do simple calculation. If you could throw yourself cheaply at him, how many men have you thrown yourself at? Is this the way you were tempting all the men that had sex with you? What is the guarantee you won't throw yourself at men after marriage?
If you have truly changed please remain so.
Shun every form of sexual temptation, advances and remain sexually pure.
Your God ordained husband will respect you, honour you, trust you and cherish you for life!
It takes character to keep your virginity.
It takes lack of character to lose it.
It takes character to ask God for forgiveness despite your past, it takes lack of character to go back to your vomit.
If you have really changed , remain so and God and men will honour you.
May you not lose your dignity before God and men.
© Seun Oladele, 2022.

One of the greatest challenges we have in Christ follower-ship is laziness. Sadly, many religious people love to talk but hate to read. As such, when you show them clear, incontrovertible, and unambiguous Scripture that disproves their denominational beliefs and dogmas, they will go ‘spiritual’ and cite ‘the letter killeth.’ They will say you are not being spiritual.
When they use the term ‘spiritual’, what they really mean is that you are not surrendering to their dogma, which is the fountain of origin of their beliefs.
Unfortunately, for them, Scripture warned us that “no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation.”-2 Peter 1:20.
God’s Holy Spirit would not contradict God’s Words.
The reason many pastors make merchandise of such people is that they are not noble Christians. It has nothing to do with the pastors. Many of them are opportunists and an opportunist will always take advantage of an opportunity to the .......https://www.allsinglesandmarried.com/2022/07/the-truth-your-pastors-will-not-tell.html

1. You get to share warmth

2. The most intimate and personal conversations happen in bed, head on the pillow. You two will get to know each other deepest there

3. People are most real in bed. No make-up, no trying to look polished for the world. In bed, everything is raw and vulnerable, you see each other for who you really are

4. It makes you two reconcile quicker. It is difficult to share a bed with someone you are angry with, you make up faster because you share a bed

5. It is wonderful that the one you love is the last visual you have before you close your eyes to sleep, and the first you see when you wake up

6. It is a sign of trust. You trust your spouse and that's why you can close your eyes and feel safe in the privacy of your bedroom

7. In case of nightmares, you can kiss and comfort each other with a cuddle. Incase of sweet dreams, you can narrate it as you kiss

8. Making love to your spouse is made simple and easily accessible, your spouse is within reach

9. One of the most amazing view is to see the one you love sleeping

10. A warm marital bed means the entire home will reflect the warmth. Sleeping on the same bed builds the love you have for each other

11. When the bed at home is warm and peaceful, the temptation to share a bed outside with another or to be unfaithful is non-existent

12. A wise lady never chases her hubby from the bed when she is mad at him, she knows that the more he is pushed away from their bed, the further they grow apart

13. A wise man always makes sure the bed is a haven of intimacy and love for his wife. If it is not well for her in bed, nothing will be well. If her head lays on the pillow hurting and she struggles to sleep, the whole house will be dull. A loved up wife brightens the home

14. The most kissing between couples happens in bed. Kissing is good for your love

15. No matter how cozy a bed is, it becomes special because you share it with the one you love; whether that bed is the one at home, or the one you two get to sleep on in a hotel when on a holiday or vacation

When I got to work the next day, my Secretary greeted me like nothing happened, I heaved a sigh of relief. Driving to work, I had thought of so many awkward ways it could go, when I see her, but to my surprise, it went well, or so I thought.
Few minutes before lunchtime, I was going through some files in my computer, when she walked into my office, without knocking like she used to, and handed me a piece of paper …

Secretary; I want to thank you for last night, though, we didn’t finish, but you made me happy. That money you gave me wasn’t enough, I used it to settle someone my mum was owing, I still need more for a few other things. Go through the list to see the ones you can do for me, if you are able to do all, I will be very grateful. I will be giving you anyhow and wherever you want it. Also, now that we have started dating, don’t you think it’s better to call you by your name when we are alone? it’s somehow to be using ‘sir’ on someone tha f¥cks me” …
I was completely gobsmacked by the time she finished talking. I couldn’t believe all that came out from her mouth. She wants to turn me into an atm. The list she handed to me had hair, iphone, smart tv, kitchen items, and some cash. What in God’s name have I gotten myself into? I took a deep breath and spoke …

Tunde; where is all these coming from? It’s like you’ve forgotten your position. If you think what happened yesterday gives you the audacity to walk into my office to start making these outrageous demands, then you must think me one of those small boys you mingle with. If it was a raise that you asked for, I would have actually considered it, but this? Nah, you have lost it. Take this out of here, before I lose my temper”
I flung the paper towards her, it landed on the floor, and she picked it up, folded it and placed it on my desk, with a wide grin on her face …
Secretary; oga, be calming down, jare. You think all these initial gragra will scare me ni? That’s not possible na, Ilorin babe like me. I didn’t mention a raise, because what you pay me for working for you is very fair, this new negotiation is based on the fact that I am now your.....https://www.allsinglesandmarried.com/2022/07/i-feel-so-bad-for-cheating-on-my-wife_095299554.html

As my secretary saw the look on my face, she got up from the bed and started picking her items from the floor, including her handbag, I don’t remember how it managed to land there. Someone that looked attractive to me a few minutes ago suddenly looked like a ghost …
Tunde; please, nothing happened here, absolutely nothing. Inviting you here was a big mistake and it doesn’t change anything between us. I don’t want us to ever talk about it. My wife is your sister, I’m sure you know how much this would hurt her if she ever gets to find out”
Secretary; Aaah! Sir, please o. I don’t understand what is going on. You called me, I came and delivered exactly how you want it, abi you didn’t enjoy it?”
Tunde; are you okay? Enjoy what? You know nothing happened, this girl, you are talking about enjoyment”
Secretary; nothing happened, bawoni? Something happened, sir. The time that you were using plenty of fingers to search for what I don’t know, was it not sweet to you? If not for that call, your junior would have gone in, you were ready for it and I was also ready, nobody is a baby here”
Tunde; okay, my fault. I am very sorry for everything, it won’t happen again. This one shouldn’t have happened in the first place, thank God we didn’t go all the way. Here, take this for your transport and stress”
I gave her a reasonable sum of money…
Secretary; thank you so much, I appreciate it. Please, drop me off at the junction, and let me take a bike. Just so you know, I don’t regret what happened, In fact, I enjoyed it. Let me know when you want us to finish what we started, I’m sure you will be the one always rushing back for more after you taste the main soup. I know I am sugar and honey together”
Tunde; I would rather you leave the way you came in, please. I gave you a lot of money, use it to get an uber or https://www.allsinglesandmarried.com/2022/07/i-feel-so-bad-for-cheating-on-my-wife_0421089342.html

A woman's butt is special. When the wrong man touches it, it is sexual harassment, when her man touches it she feels good. Here are moments when to touch your woman's butt
1. WHEN SHE DRESSES UP
When your wife wears a dress, tights, a pair of shorts or a less and asks you how she looks. Look at her from top to bottom with focussed eyes and hold her butt and curves and say "You look beautiful and sexy". She will feel desired
2. WHEN SLEEPING
When in bed as you prepare to sleep, whether she is facing you or giving you her back, rub your hands on her butt as you tell her how beautiful she is. This will make her feel close to you and give her a good night's sleep
3. WHEN SHE IS COOKING
In the kitchen, as she stands cooking, grab and rub her butt as you kiss her neck and cheek telling her warm words. It makes her feel connected.
4. WHEN MASSAGING HER
Offer to massage her, ask her to lie down naked as your wife and oil her body then massage her, play close attention to her butt. Whether her butt is big or small, with stretch marks or without, speak wonderfully of it as you play with it and make it jiggle. This makes her feel comfortable naked with you
5. WHEN SHE IS DOING CHORES
Chores don't have to be boring. When she is doing chores, creep from behind and hold her butt as she bends, mops, or cleans and appreciate what she is doing with you saying, "The house looks really clean". Help out with the chores too. She will look at you and smile, shaking her head as she says "I have such a great husband"
6. WHEN YOU TWO JUST CHILL
When you two are lazing around on the bed or the sofa, as you pillow talk, caress her butt. This makes her feel like you have dedicated quality time just for her and accompanied it with a touch. Women love to be touched. It hurts her to have a husband who rarely touches her
7. WHEN MAKING LOVE
Whether doggy or she is on top, grab a hold of her butt with passion as you make love. This makes her feel sexy
8. WHEN SHE IS PLEASURING YOU
When she is giving you pleasure as she touches you up, kissing your chest, rubbing her fingers all over you, rubbing her butt as you tell her how good it feels. This makes her get excited. Any wife loves it when she has a strong sexual effect on her husband
9. WHEN KISSING
As you kiss, whether a "have a good day" kiss, a long kiss or a just because kiss, hold her on the butt with your masculine hands. This heightens your level of intimacy
10. WHEN TAKING A SHOWER
Once in a while take showers together. Wash her back and camp on her butt a little bit longer. These are the scenes she remembers and smiles all by herself
11. WHEN PLAYING WITH HER
Don't be too rigid, sometimes play around with your wife. "Bully" her in a nice way. Chase after her. Tickle her. Play around under the blankets as you play around with her butt. Games like this make her enjoy growing old with you and making silly memories

It was 6 pm when I left the house. I had no place in mind I was going to. I just drove out in annoyance, got to a junction and parked inside the fast food there, and waited. I had hoped that my wife would call me to apologize so that I will go back home. This was something that has never happened before, not the misunderstanding part, though. That one happens on regular basis. What I mean is that I have never left the house because I was vexed, never, since I married my wife.
I sat inside my car for more than an hour, but no call came in from her, which made me angrier. I started going through my phone contacts, to see if I could call one of my guys, to meet me somewhere, maybe to drink a bottle or two, while I wait. I was still checking when I received an SMS from my secretary. Which read …
“Good evening sir, how is family, sir? Please, I would like to know if you are okay with me bringing you party Jollof rice tomorrow. I forgot to ask you on Friday. Regards to mummy Tope”
That was it. I didn’t think twice, I called up my secretary, immediately after reading the SMS... dunn dunn… she picked up after the second ring...
Secretary; hello … good evening, sir. Hope you got my message, sir?”
Tunde; Yes, I did. Wo, it’s not that one that is doing me right now. Can we meet? That is if you are less busy”
Secretary; sure, sir. I am not doing anything, I can come to the house as soon as possible. Hope everything is okay, sir?”
Tunde; I don’t want you to go to the house. Meet me at that hotel in T junction. I’ll send you the address via SMS, call me when you get there”
Secretary; okay, sir. I’ll be on my way” …
I wasn’t thinking straight anymore. I was so angry at my wife and it blinded my sense of reasoning. In my twisted mind, I felt the only way to punish her was to cheat on her. I didn’t know what I was thinking. The whole thing happened in a flash. My Secretary, who happens to be my wife’s cousin, didn’t pause to ask me why I wanted her to meet me in a hotel. She agreed to meet up, without any reservations, whatsoever. I sent her the name of the hotel and address as I said.
The hotel was where I lodged my friends that visited me from the U.K the month before.
I drove into the hotel and went straight to the reception to book a room. 45 minutes later, I got a call from my Secretary, that she had arrived. I gave her the room number and told the receptionist to give her a pass.
I still didn’t think I was making a mistake. It hadn’t clicked in my head to retract my steps. My wife still hadn’t called.
I heard a soft tap on the door and went to open it. My Secretary was dressed like she knew what was going to happen. She looked at me as she walked into the room, without saying a word. After locking the door, I took long strides towards her and pounced, like a hungry lion that has seen a willing prey. She made it very easy for me. To my utmost surprise, she had no undies and...https://www.allsinglesandmarried.com/2022/07/i-feel-so-bad-for-cheating-on-my-wife.html

A post was sent to a couples' group I belong to and the writer was trying to analyze the benefits of breasts sucking for women by their husbands as it relates to their health and well-being. Then, he concluded by saying, despite all these benefits of a man sucking his wife's breast whether there's milk or not, he argued that Christianity is not in support of a man sucking the breasts of his wife. I could see from the tone of the writer that, he might be a 'Christian" and if truly he is, and he is circulating such about the Christian faith, it might cause some damage to many marriages. This is my reply to the post on the group, I also felt I should share it here for the benefit of those who are not in my Couples' WhatsApp group. This information is for the married, not something for fornicators!
I wrote this reply to the post:
Christianity is not against sucking the breasts of your wife either for pleasure or for good health as stated in Proverbs 5:19 which says, "... Let her breasts satisfy you at all times"
As a matter of fact, there are two things married men can't do without in the body of their wives. The vagina and the......https://www.allsinglesandmarried.com/2022/07/blog-post.html

My name is Tunde, I am from Ogun state, married to a very beautiful and loving woman. She is 44, while I am 49. We met more than 15 years ago in the U.K, dated for 2 years, and have been married since then. We have 3 children, and we relocated to Nigeria, 3 years ago. Coming back to Nigeria was due to the type of business I started after I quit my job. �
I love my wife so much, more than words can say, and I always go out of my way, to make her happy. She’s not perfect, just like I am not perfect, as well, but I love all her imperfections. She’s the woman that completes me. We are both doing well for ourselves, in our different fields.

I cheated on my wife with my 27-year-old secretary, the girl is my wife’s cousin. This is something I never ever thought I would do to my lovely wife. I am someone that is strongly against cheating. I didn’t know what came over me, that made me not think straight.
It was my wife that insisted I gave her the job, as she wanted a family member working for me than someone she doesn’t know. In always wanting to please my wife, I did not object. 3 weeks into the job, I noticed that my wife’s cousin started dressing provocatively to work, I didn’t read too much meaning to it, until the day she brought homemade food to work, to serve me, during lunchtime.
The first time she did it, I politely turned her down. I didn’t understand why she would serve me food at work, not as I had ever complained to her that I wasn’t getting good food or something. When I got home that day, I told my wife what happened …
Tunde; honey, something funny happened at work today”
Lara; what happened?”
Tunde; “your sister served me food at work. I was surprised o, I shall turn it down”
Lara; aahn aahn! Why na? She told me about it and I gave her go ahead. She thought it would be best to be bringing you food, once in a while, so that you will be eating good food during lunch. That thing your neighbor sells and calls food is poison. Chai, I’m sure she will be feeling bad now. I’ll have to call her later, to apologize”
Tunde; Oh, is that so? I didn’t know na. You should have told me. The food smelled really nice, it was serious self-control that I used to reject it o”
Lara; hahaha! Werey. I will tell her to bring to you, tomorrow. I just hope she........https://www.allsinglesandmarried.com/2022/07/i-feel-so-bad-for-cheating-on-my.html

10 MISTAKES WOMEN MAKE IN MARRIAGE
I hear women complain about how they are not enjoying their marriages. One thing I notice is that they blame everyone for the struggles in their marriage but themselves. Do you really think you are not to blame for the problems in your marriage?

1. USING SEX AS A BARGAINING TOOL
So many women use sex as a bargaining tool in their marriages and this is absolutely wrong. It’s wrong to deny your husband sex because you want money to change your wardrobe or maybe you want a new car. Using sex as a bargaining tool in your marriage is absolutely wrong.

2. NOT TAKING GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF
I see so many women make this mistake in their marriages. Before you got married to him, your appearance was so important but you neglect how you look and stop taking good care of yourself the moment you get married. Just because you are now married is no excuse to stop being beautiful. Your husband expects to continually see that beautiful woman he got married to and you also have to look beautiful for yourself too. Try to keep that body he fell in love with.

3. NAGGING
No man loves a nagging woman. Stop justifying your nagging, it’s wrong. You can’t complain about everything your husband does and expect peace. There are better ways to handle issues in your marriage and nagging isn’t one of them. Quit abusing and shouting at your husband; he is your husband and not your son.

4. BEING INSECURE
Being insecure is another mistake women make in their marriage. I understand you don’t want to share your husband with anyone but if you can’t really trust him, why then did you get married to him? I see women fighting other women over a man and that’s bullsh*t if you ask me. The other woman isn’t the problem; your husband is the problem. Instead of fighting the other woman, try to find out why your husband still have you and fancies her. Never bring yourself that low to fighting another woman publicly because of a man.

5. TREATING YOUR IN-LAWS AS STRANGERS
You don’t expect your husband to cut all ties with his family because he got married to you. It’s wrong and I strongly believe that if you truly love a man, you would love everything about him including his family. Learn to respect his family and don’t treat them as rags. I understand mother-in-laws can be annoying sometimes because they feel you are taking their place in their son’s life but disrespecting her won’t solve the problem.

6. DIALOGUE IS IMPORTANT WHEN THERE IS ANY DISAGREEMENT
There are bound to be times in your marriage when you and your husband would disagree on certain issues but bringing down the roof or broadcasting your differences to the world solves nothing but only worsens it. Learn how to pass across your point to your husband peacefully and respectfully. Respect for each other is needed for any marriage to work.

7. BEING IMPATIENT
This is another mistake women make in marriage. Patience is needed if you want your marriage to work. You have to learn how to be patient with your partner. I believe if you can’t be patient with your partner, then you are not ready to get married. Patience is needed in marriage.

8. IGNORING HIS STOMACH
I understand you are a busy woman and it’s really not easy combining managing a home and your career but I still think application of wisdom here is important. I understand your busy schedule means you need a cook at home to prepare the meals but I still believe the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Ensure you man is well-fed and don’t just leave everything to the cook. Cook your man his meals when you get the chance to.

9. WRONG FRIENDS
This is another major mistake most women have. I believe you need to choose your friends properly because not every one would mean well for you. Don’t just pour your heart out to anyone. It’s really wrong discussing the flaws of your husband with friends. I understand sometimes you just need someone to talk to but you should ensure you choose the right person and you also need to watch what you pour out.

10. SECRETS
Keeping things away from your husband is really wrong as it’s the fastest way to destroy trust. You and your husband are supposed to be a team and a team won’t work smoothly when there are secrets.
Men also make mistakes in marriage. Check the next post to read: 10 MISTAKES MEN MAKE IN MARRIAGE.
Hope you enjoyed this article? Don’t forget to share with friends too.
Source....https://www.allsinglesandmarried.com/

We've been married for two years and have no child. I’m not surprised that we haven’t been able to have a child but what I’m surprised about is my wife’s attitude towards the fact that we don’t have a child.
Yesterday she called me impotent. Some days ago she called me sterile. I warned her, “The next time you call me any other name apart from my name, I will walk out of this mess you call marriage.”

Let me take you back to when we were dating. This girl was very strict when it came to sex. She was the one making the rules. “This month no sex, I don’t want you to be enjoying it every day. We are not married yet.” I won’t fight her about it and she would go ahead and do exactly what she said she would do. Another time she will tell me, “I called you and you didn’t answer. No sex for three weeks.
I didn’t allow those things to bother me. She was a good person. I would have been very wrong to just look at her from that angle and conclude that she wasn’t a wife material. We stayed together for two years before we finally decided to marry.

After marriage, she didn’t stop throwing those rules around. Every new day came with different rules and all of her rules had to do with sex. As I’m writing this, we haven’t had sex for the past three months. What is her reason? She had severe cramps during her menses and according to her, she has never had crumps all her life. She told me, “I spoke to a doctor friend of mine and she said my cramps were due to sex and that if your husband’s joystick is big, it can result in cramps.” I knew she was lying.
I knew she was just looking for another excuse not to have sex. I’m used to that antics so it didn’t bother me.
We are married but we have sex only when she wants and since she doesn’t want sex often, we can go for several weeks without sex. And the annoying part is, she doesn’t want any other style apart from missionary. So, when her goodness comes and she finally opens the way for me to do it, she will tell me, “Just get on with it and leave me alone.

If I kiss her, bue! If I don’t kiss her, bue! “Don’t touch me here. Why are you going side by side, can’t you go straight? Hey…hey…hey, don’t touch my breast, it’s paining me. You’re keeping long, what medicine did you drink?”
She’ll nag throughout the action. Sometimes I don’t even cum. I’ll just get off her and have my peace of mind. It’s been like this for the past two years since we got married. I’m not complaining. Recently, she brought up the topic of childbirth and I told her, “Do you know how many times people have sex before a child can result?

You are here giving me rules and yet want to have a child?” She said, “Alice got married four months ago and she’s pregnant. How many times did they do it? We’ve been doing it for two years and nothing has happened. Go and look for medicine before I give up on you.”
Every marriage has some troubles. She’s my trouble, I understand. What I don’t understand is her attitude towards the problems she herself has caused. I was there one day when she told me, “I spoke to my doctor friend. She said we’ve been having sex unnecessarily that’s why the pregnancy is not coming so we should have sex only when I’m ovulating. From now onwards, you won’t waste your sperms on me. Store them. Grow them. Make them potent so that when you hit one, a child will come. You hear?”

Brothers and sisters, how many times do women ovulate in a month? At least once, right? So why haven’t we had sex for three months? I want an answer so I went to her, “You mean you haven’t ovulated for the past three months?” She said, “I’m tracking it with an app. So far, the app hasn’t said that I’m ovulating.” Eiii! So now it’s an app that’s going to determine when to have sex and when not to?
Dear people of God, that’s my wife for you. No husband will sit and stare while things go wrong in his marriage so I reported the issue to her parents. They called her home and talked to her extensively. Her father called to tell me, “We’ve spoken sense to her. The way I’ve bashed her, I don’t think she’ll come home and do that again.” The day she got home she said, “Shame on you. You ran to my parents and reported me to them? Are you a kid? All because of sex? I thought you are a man. A true man doesn’t need plenty of sex before pregnancy. They hit one, bam! and the child is there.

You want it every day. I can’t.”
Three months. Maybe it sounds very short so let me calculate it into days. I haven’t had sex for over ninety days! I’ve received three salaries without sex, yet she accuses me of not being potent because we haven’t had a child. I’ve reported it to her parents twice and each time, they talk to her. The last time her father told me, “If I have to come and supervise it, I will come there myself. What kind of silly attitude is that?” Even her father is angry on my behalf. At this point, I will be right to take any drastic decision that I want. One day, I will pack her things and send her to her parents. Before she comes back to the marriage, she will sign a bond of good behavior and sign to have sex four times in a week before I will take her back.
A wife doesn’t live her life just to traumatize her husband’s life. Or I should send her packing right away?
Source...https://www.allsinglesandmarried.com

Sometimes we all need assistance in order to meet a need. That need could be employment, school fees, house rent, capital for new investments, clothes, food, shelter, etc. I have been there!
As a man, please understand that sometimes ladies could come to you for financial assistance and it's not out of place. However, what is out of place is you demanding sex in return.
Nobody is ever under any obligation to assist another person. If you can't help without demanding sex, please forget about it. There are many guys who have had sex with ladies they assisted. What a shame!

On many occasions, I have encountered ladies who needed assistance from me. Many years ago, a lady needed just an "ordinary N200" and she entered my little apartment then dressed in a way that suggested that if her words can't get it from me, her sexy body will. But she was mistaken as I assisted her without demanding anything in return. That's the way of gentlemen.

Gentlemen don't demand sex in return when ladies approach them for financial assistance. Aside from being a child of God, another thing that helped me as a single man then was my conscience. I was always putting my sisters in the shoes of those needy ladies. I was always asking myself: "What if this was my sister asking for assistance from a man?". I couldn't just imagine my own sisters being taken advantage of by some randy men. Sex should be a consensual thing, not coercion. Remember, pre-marital sex is SIN.

Men who take advantage of ladies in need are cowards, selfish and insensitive. Instead of taking advantage of that lady why can't you let her go? If you don't assist you are not committing any crime. But when you take advantage of a needy lady sexually, you have no conscience and God won't be happy with you.

Just yesterday, after I had made my previous post on this very conversation, a young beautiful lady approached me financially. I couldn't help her and I informed her. She understood the reasons I cited and she thanked me and left. Needy ladies are most times at their most vulnerable times. Sometimes even without a man demanding sex, they're willing to offer it because of desperation. But please gentlemen, resist the temptation and decline that immoral offer. The lady I narrated in my post yesterday took off her top. She had a sexy body that was very tempting but I decided not to do it. Before she left, her respect for me increased. There are many guys out there who would assist ladies without demanding sex in return. Please be one of such men!
I hope you have heard me very clearly!