₦airaland Forum

Manydays01:
Oyinbo girls are actually not fine. You'll only get to know when you're here. The same way 60% of their States and cities don't look like what they show to you on their movies, just the same way their women have substandard look too. It not for papers, our women look better. And if not For The inferiority complex we've been given since birth about how these people are better than us and how we should worship them and die to go and slave in their country. Most of these white girls don't even bath. Some can go weeks without water touching her body

Trust me, I know all these things.

That's why I think they should even count themselves lucky say luminouz dey look their side at all.

NewestNigerian:
You're right man but she can't manipulative me that easily. My mind is made of steel.

I know my strength and weaknesses. I am that guy who can love freely but can't be manipulated into the act.

Have you collected your phone back?

Na that one dey do me bayi😄😄😄😄

kingthreat:
There are women you should help. There are women you should care for. There are women you should build a family with.
The ones that do not fall within the above category show red flags no matter how pretensive they are. Please do not ignore the red flags. Don't be a fool.
Imagine all the millions your brother has invested in that girl is about to become total zero.
Also stop trying to take care of the education of a woman. It is her parent's responsibility. Not yours.

You nailed it.
I'm a redpiller but I know some women have better core values than others and they deserve your investment as wives. I won't accept anything less. There are two girls on this NL that I would recommend to anyone willing to settle down this year. They are so good, nice and supportive. I have tested them taya and they still passed. Any man who gets them as wives is very very lucky and supported for life.

Lovina96:
I’m also on this table. My parents have heaped the responsibility of my younger ones and everything else on me. I’m 27years old female , my parents have refused to accept my fiance bringing up flimsy excuses for 3 years now

Africa parents are something else. The emotional trauma is just too much

You sound like a loving child but you are digging a deeper hole than you realize.

Lemme tell you my story.

I'm the first child. God gave me brains. I was out of secondary school at 15, graduated top of my class at 21 years old. But finances were an issue. My parents value education but finance issues cropped up and Dad couldn't train us like he would want to, but my mom took it up while he was down and we managed. I started working at 21. I wanted to help my parents so I worked odd jobs before I left for service, during service and after service. It was something I had to do to support them. They NEVER put any pressure on me but I care about my family so I helped. My parents retired while my one and only sister was in secondary school and I willingly took it on myself to train that girl. My parents are traditional and believed God gave children. I disagreed with that notion and told them I won't bring a child into this world to suffer. There is nothing I hated more than that. Anytime they try to gimme the "when you marry, blessings flow" talk while I was still even training my sister, I countered them. So, I put my foot down in getting married while I was working and hustling because I still wasn't ready for a baby and they respected me for it. My sister finished service last year and working currently. Na you know how e dey pinch you and if you allow everyone to push you around, na to die be that. Know what you want and stick to it, despite emotional blackmail from parents. They will always push you but you have to put you foot down and tell them what you want.

Whatever I did was out of love, not coercion. And there is where my case differs from yours. You are being coerced to shoulder the weight and it's affecting you gradually. You seem softhearted and unable to say No to a few things. You could take one sibling and help him/her as you could while letting them care for the rest or you risk burning yourself out in the process. Not only that, you are a woman and at 27, you should be with a family of your own. Pegging your marriage for three years is not so cool. If your fiance is tired and decided to leave, you'd have wasted three years of your life and lost a good guy. Do you know where/when the next serious guy will come from? Time doesn't wait for women. Marry that guy and train one of your siblings in your husband house. The others can learn soft skills that won't take too much money out of their pockets, so they can make money for themselves too. That way, you live long and still help your parents.

pukkalolo

You made nice points!!

Yes...you can be the Alpha guy or the third guy who walks out instantly. For me, the alpha guy doesn't have to spit that wordplay scenario you quoted everytime. He can simply walk off if the girl's energy is off.

I am not Drake's level. I still don't tolerate bullshit from any woman because of abundance mindset. Oneitis is a very crazy thing. It messes up your mind and gives you no backup plans.

Lastly, every woman shit test you. Your wife, your mother, sister, aunt and grandma!!! Every woman!! You won't walk off everytime, would you? So you need how to learn to pass that test, simply by not playing their game. Play yours by staying in your own frame.

etrange:
I am the one angry and you're the one cursing and using multiple exclamation marks? Lmao... It's actually better you stop typing cause the more you type, the more you expose your shallowness. If you read my comment, you'd see that I didn't quote the individuals in question. Instead, I shared a general observation that has become a norm on this platform. I don't care about them as individuals, but I do care about the misogyny on this platform. I'm not surprised you'd ask why I do care so much. To you guys, if something isn't affecting your or your herd directly, there's no reason to care. You like the status quo. After all, it's the ladies being abused. None of you ever decries the unnecessary attack on the female gender on this platform, but the moment one person speaks up, you gather like desert vultures to attack the person. And you think you're okay?

Just look at the irrelevant things you typed up there. Nobody knows me and what I do; how does that in any way affect the subject of discussion? Nobody knows me, yet you're here telling me how my comments follow the same pattern and how I see enemies everywhere on NL. Isn't that contradictory? This is my first time seeing your username, and I certainly don't care about your comments. Who wants to be friends with primitives like you who don't see the need to speak up when something is going wrong? If anything, I'm happy that people like you have been reading my comments. And from all the exclamation marks and cause words in your comment, I can tell the purpose is achieved.

K

Mentholated:
I am surprised. That was cold. She visited him twice in prison most likely to assess his current and future value to her. Briffault's law.

Lol..I'm not. It's a cold world out there.

The only person you have is YOU. you need plans A,B,C...to survive on this world. She prolly thought he was going to prison for a long time, so now is the time to cut her losses and move on.

Mentholated:
You met an international renowned football player in 2015, he married you 2 years later (2017). According you to it has been a wonderful relationship for the past 8 years filled with love and care. He was arrested 2 months ago and is currently in jail still under investigation for a sexual offence in Spain.
This is his moment of need, that point where just your support can mean the world to him. Guess what? You decided to break up with him.

All hail Joana Sanz, Dani Alves soulmate.

You sound surprised?

I am not!!!

etrange:
If you were not as dirty as those guys, you wouldn't have left them to attack the one person speaking up. Of course, she did take it with jokes. What other choice does she have? If she shows any sign of displeasure, y'all would rain on her and remind her how Nigerian girls are only good for sex, and her thread would lose its purpose. Joke is nothing but a coping mechanism. You don't know this because you've never cared to see things from a lady's perspective. So instead of asking me not to see anything wrong with the comments sexualizing the OP, why don't you yourself stop being narrow minded and start seeing things from other people's perspective?

You read these comments, you know they're wrong and you know the people that make these wouldn't wouldn't have the courage to make such disgusting comments to her face, yet you want us to accept it as "life". You want it to be the norm because you feel like speaking against it will be speaking against your gender. Is that not a herd mentality? Otherwise, why do you think that between myself and the people that made the comments, I'm the one that needs to be corrected? Do you know the backslash those guys would have received if they were women typing like that? Anyone that points out the glaring gender bias is bitter. You guys are the only sweet ones. Sugar.

I'm correcting you because that's what I want to do. Your comments on NL all follow the same pattern; online savagery!!! It never translates into real life toughness. Why dafuq do you have to be so angry online? I mean, no one even knows you or what you do...why bother so much about theirs? It's always in the comments that I identify people who can't just keep their shiits together. The OP took it as a joke but you won't and I wonder why you keep seeing enemies everywhere you turn on NL.

What you NEVER understand is you are a woman and your emotional nature will always be triggered and that's a weakness you need to learn to control. Or anyone will use it against you. At the end, you end up being bitter and broken like those people you accuse online, people who have nothing to lose by breaking YOU.

My last reply

Wifey123:
Good point. My husband would never post something like this and would be furious if he saw that I did.

To be fair though, I’m asking what I should do. Not who was right or wrong. On my part, I know I was wrong. I can’t ask my parents.

Come here ma'am..let me advise you.

Seems you are a woman who genuinely loves her husband and wants to make her marriage work. So I will tell you my bit. thank goodness he didn't use you to come to America and all that nonsense in case our resident feminists want to use that against him.

YOU WERE BOTH WRONG!! Here is how:

YOU:

You married a Nigerian who was born and raised in Nigeria. Respect for the husband and traditionalism is a big part of our culture. Telling him to shut up is like cursing his mother. Most men here find it very repulsive and demeaning. I understand that in America, many women can say that and the men won't blink. You want your man to respect you? Never tell him to shut up and do whatever...it's a verbal slap to the face of a Nigerian man.
Secondly , you didn't understand that he wanted you to clarify what happened at the POS store. He was hearing your words but they were not sinking...so you were talking to him but not communicating. You should have explained in gentler words or in a calmer tone...and tell him you are sure it will be sorted out soon though. Don't antagonize him. I think he was prolly angry from similar cases of treatment in the past (that you treat him like a child) so this made thing worse. Please, you married him, I didn't, so you should know who is he and try as much as possible to do what pleases him. His cuss words are emotional responses to what you said and his angry state of mind. I mean, that mudafucker still gave you head and Doggystyle this morning. So what then would make him a monster suddenly?

HIM

He hit you and lost control. I'm not an advocate of beating women but I won't hesitate to beat any woman as a form of self defense when she wants me dead. I protect myself from physical assault by any means necessary. He should have tried to control his temper and specifically warn you of consequences if you repeat that 'shut up' statement again. By beating you, he lost control of his core and that was why he knew he fuqed up. Telling you to go away meant he didn't like what you did and he thought you could still push him to lose control again in the future. The key to dealing with women is to be savage enough with a mix of calmness and love. Many Nigerian men will NEVER have that skill. I have it because I have developed myself to the level of making sure you value your woman while not tolerating bullshiiit from her as well. The key is finding a balance. And no. I don't think he like BDSM or likes seeing you cry. I have seen men who do and they have a different persona. I can't imagine beating a woman I fuqed that unless she held a knife to my throat or something.


Solution: Let him be till evening and send him a text again saying you will never abuse him like that again. When he comes home, he will beg and you can say he must never put his hands on you in anger anymore. The key is don't trigger him and he won't trigger you. Your marriage is young. If he says you treat him like a child, it means there are things you do that emasculate him. Let him talk to you about it and you say your own piece. Not only talk but communicate. Talking is never communicating. Big difference.


I wish you well

Metaverse:
It's very concerning just how rapidly the misunderstanding progressed.

It appears that he has a very fragile ego and it would be extremely difficult not to have this ego bruised from time to time. He can't deprive you of the right to get angry, but then, can you guarantee you'll be able to avoid saying hurtful things in the heat of the moment?

It's a slippery slope here, and If you choose to go ahead with the marriage, then you have some serious decisions to make.

I can understand the fear of losing your marriage over what was supposedly a minor misunderstanding, but then, physical violence has been involved here and you need to thoroughly scrutinise your decision. If he couldn't restrain himself on this, then I wonder what else he has in store.

Nonetheless, it's still possible to salvage the situation if you decide to forge ahead, but it's very advisable that you observe first to be sure that he also wants it as much as you do to avoid putting yourself in a slave-master situation. You can remain in the house for a while to give him time for reflection and possibly reach out. And ensure he agrees to a serious and long term counselling.

Nice take

Kobonaire4:
Hmmmm

If he is losing his temper over a simple POS declined, I'm not sure he is the right man for you.

Anyway, you should think long and hard about whether you should be in this relationship. If you can't, better walk away.

Hahahahahaha....

Counselor isonu

Vawulence go still reign on this thread

etrange:
Nairaland... You see men create threads about thier health concerns and bodily insecurities, and we tell them things like "oh, see a doctor", "oh, don't worry you're perfectly OK", "oh, take this natural supplement", "oh, hit the gym", "oh, size doesn't matter", etc. And then a lady creates a thread on a similar subject and the first set of comments are already going dirty on her. This is not just about this thread. Ladies can't just create threads on this platform on personal issues like family, health, relationship, etc. without the usual backslash or unnecessary sexualization.

Today, Nairaland is now 90% men, 5% women who hide thier gender and then 5% women who still have the courage to identify as females. And this makes me wonder, are y'all moving backwards in Nigeria or what? Doesn't this remind you of those days when women had to register thier works using masculine names just to appeal to the misogynistic public? This is a clear indication that Nigerian parents have failed the boy child. They focus so much on raising good girls that the boys are neglected.

It's just a thread for fuq sakes!!! She flowed even better with the men here, with jokes and all.

Must you turn everything into some sort of war? Can't you see it sort of show you have some bitterness in you or something?? Biko take life easy on..na my advice be that

Everything is misogyny to you and if you are viewing the world from that window only, you will be blind to ALL ELSE!!!

joeeee240:
Relax your ego lol...

My whole point is that being a virgin is not a guarantee neither is it as big of a factor as you make it out to be

K

Persephone1:
Wise response!

You should do this more often instead of spewing gibberish. Silence is a virtue.

K

Bullythebully:
So a woman's character should be under scrutiny for rejecting an unattractive man? Are women allowed to make choices? If we want rich man? It's a crime. If we want attractive men,it is still a crime.

I guess we can only be right in a man's book if we appreciate and accept all men of all types,shades and class.

Men like you accept mediocrity (keep yourself as unattractive as possible and not make effort to improve aspects of your life) because you believe that any women that wants a better version of you is the wrong one.

But lemme announce,unlike the days parents imposed spouses on the daughters,we can now make choices. We now have the right to reject or accept men,and nothing will happen.

Op,don't let it kill your spirit. Focus on things you can change and not the ones you can't. Eat right,stay fit,hit the gym. Improve on masculine traits. Be strong,bold and confident and I pray that you get the love you crave you. Sending you loads of love and light.

K

NewestNigerian:
Alright sir. Thanks for coming back.

This is your update?

What about that phone? Na that one dey pain me...you didn't collect back that phone because you didn't want to assault her? What's assault in collecting back your phone from her hand...no be to snatch it quick? There are tons of shiit on that phone that will shock you bro but you lost the momentum and she would have transferred it elsewhere or not.

That she even called her people to beg you and she came to your house shows SEE FINISH! What stops you from chasing her away? But you left your own house to cool off somewhere else? . You left her in your house That's some weak ass shiit!!!!

Kai...that girl is not sorry, she never was...Show some violence or this whole stuff will fall back on you. You are talking weak already

Kobojunkie:
1. Oyinbo girls are not fine yet when Nigerian men get here na the same Oyinbo girls dem they pine after en masse?

2. Please leave the foolish things for the foolish and focus on processing reality as it presents itself abeg! Ever asked yourself the major reason why many Nigerian men here, even with all the horror tales, continue to go back to Nigeria in order to find for themselves wives? It has majorly to do with the fact that the pickings are slim for them here. They head back flashing their hard-earned cash—cash they would not be able to do that with here—knowing that their chances of having fine girls come to them are higher down in Nigeria than abroad.

K

joeeee240:
I keep telling men this. Marrying a virgin has no correlation that she won't cheat


She may not be satisfied... she may not cum etc
And it's also not by big gbola but how you use it

In fact many virgins will cheat when they get married cause the curiosity to taste another dick will be high

Calm down bro....I still stand with purity. But you have some points

If she has cum, would she still cheat? I guessed it was because despite the sweetness she didn't experience ecstasy. Many virgins married and enjoyed sex without cumming and they never left their husbands. This one is just 22 years old. Didn't we all agree that she is in her hoe phase and immature? Can you imagine a virgin of 25 and above who has a strong father figure in her life behaving like that? Because she would have talked to the husband to explore her cum-options and not come outside to fuq random dudes. Besides, she may be highly sexed naturally. I know I am and there are women like me that I have met. The key is to make sure she is satisfied then get her sexual energy involved in other things like work or a project because no man can keep cumming for 8 rounds per day and survive for a year. That girl is probably unemployed, still in school, or has too much time on her hands. Then, she has a morally suspect upbringing because how dafuq can you go 8 rounds and still go outside to fuq another dude, without any remorse.

I have been with a virgin before, they are always demanding after you make them enjoy it. The first few weeks are of pain but after that na pleasure. Then, do it well and let her experience ecstasy. That's the key to it.

Then, marrying a virgin is not a guarantee of loyalty but it's a big factor. You are her first, and the first to imprint on her sexual psyche. The first she bonded with. And that purity was what we used to pay bride price for. She let herself for you. How dafuq is that not cool ??

Female nature is universal and she could fuq up. But you know at least that you wouldn't need to be dealing with emotional trauma of another dude in her psyche or the loss of innate value due to her tasting 100+ diicks before marrying you. And yes!! It's not by big gbola to satisfy a woman. It's your skillet and most especially endurance.

sharpwriter:
Guy, so you still dey this nairaland bá? How have you been?

Boss I dey o.

Been good. Thanks for asking.

Fuckyoumod:
who is this non-entity and jobless brat licking my ass everywhere I go?

Kiss me darling!! Don't be shy

Johndoh:
You got it all wrong, I never mentioned white or caucasians in my write up.
The blacks (non-African) are more picky when it comes to dating, especially the mixed ones (half caste). They are of course the most pretty and handsome amongst all species by ratios (their total numbers in existence against total numbers of their pretty ones or vice versa, which ever way).
They don’t want to date Africans coz we don’t look good enough due to how our bad economy has taken tolls on our skins and looks (poor nutrition due to poverty, excessive heat due to lack of electricity, stress of survival, and bad skin care products due to oversaturation of markets with counterfeits or fake/pirated products).
So we really don’t look fresh and cool when compared to them.
I didn’t say ‘all of us’, coz the rich gets good life in this same Naija or anywhere in Africa and looks as fresh as these so called half-caste or black Europeans but most of us here in nigeria and Africa at large don’t because we don’t earn as much to take good care of our looks.

And as for the guy who said he can opt to change any feature of his face just to look good, I support him coz imo that’s not a sin.
If a feature in your body is affecting your self esteem, it’s not a crime to change it. It’ll be a waste of time to look like a squirrel and trying to bring on the confidence of a tiger! That’s idiotic.
Instead, get a good hair cut, a good body shape, groom your face, and if it demands to go under knife, do it, and look as good as possible. The rewards far supersede the cons.

I get your points and you made sense.

My take is, even if you are ugly due to bad economy and you travel out, just give yourself time and you will look ok again. Maybe not handsome but clean and refreshed. Then, with experience over there gathered with time, you will get women.

Anyone can do surgery to correct anything they don't like. I have no qualms with that. I just believe in people being real. You will always find something you don't like about your body when other people are the ones pushing their insecurities on you. Be sure that's what you want yourself, not what society wants from you. At least, that's my take on it.

Abyounghammed:
Broz, 98 percentbof women are moved by what they see and discuss in there mist

I should think this statement of yours should apply to men, not women. At least not 98% of them

Persephone1:
I like how you male on this forum go defensive and pensive when you get called out. Oh I enjoy your selective morality and body positivity you display too albeit very hypocritical of you lots. So now here you are joining in the "You are beautiful the way you are" chorus because the body shaming is directed at your gender when few days ago you lots dropped your derogatory and ill thought out opinions on a thread about "fat women" that was created on this section. Your hypocrisy stinks to high heavens! I'm touched BTW, beautiful voice you've got singing that song

Leave the lady that died out of your foolery! Men like you are responsible for her decision. Face the fact that people don't find your marsh potatoes faces and your amoebic structures pleasing in other part of the world. This isn't about NIGERIAN WOMEN but NIGERIAN MEN!

SO REST!

K

AndrewTate:
You particularly have to be very careful with this red pill thing...it could drive you crazy.
Rather focus on being the best version of “a man”...call it that instead of making it a battle against women.
I mentioned Cave because he’s the most realistic here with his posts.
You...you’re just over pumped by ego...Old Tiger 😂

K

1Sharon:
He wanted to use her for papers and you have the audacity to come here and call her shallow? She likely sensed he was disingenuous and ignored him.

Even if he rejected her for her looks, doesn't a woman need to find a man attractive to want to sleep wit him??

Women are visual too. Not only men.

Of course she should be attracted to any man she wants na. It happens to everyone. I guess maybe she wasn't feeling the dude. But the emphasis on looks alone got to me. The dude looked down on himself and I was like, how do you know the girl is even good for you...you are not proud of yourself at all. You just see beauty and Canadian PR and that's it for you? Damn weird.

Johndoh:
lol! Your head go correct by the time you reach there.
Lots of my friends are complaining about not being able to get a date in Europe. Some in Cyprus while some are in the UK.
See the op is 100% correct. Girls abroad don’t just hop into any needless relationships or semi-hookups like girls do here in Naija.
Most of the girls there are doing so fine in life (even tho they mostly still live with their parents at 30 going to fourty as long as they’re still single except those earning above £50k sha).
So, that said, they have standards in what they go for in terms of looks and physique. Unlike here in nigeria, where we are still respectful and considerate, they over there will not give two f*cks about your feelings, they’d let you know asap that you’re not looking human as they are. They could cringe in your face while trying to woo them.
They’ve got too many options that’s why. Lots of poor handsome half cast around, lots of rich white good looking dudes, and also a handful of superbly attractive Arab and brown people could be seen as well.
The race that suffers this whole thing are the blacks and sometimes the Asians such as the Chinese and japs (especially with white or half cast girls knowing so well they mostly bare a small gbola).
Before arguing any further, why don’t you ask how far from your guy in UK or EU how they’re coping when it comes to wooing any (non-african) girl over there.
Hope this helps.

Don't agree with you. You seem to think na so these oyinbo girls fine? Lmaooooo... They are not fine...so only a dude who knows his value will run after them. Na simps wey konji wan kill dey talk your story.

Sure culture is different, but a true G should see a girl who likes his vibes in the first six months abroad. But then, no be pussy everyone go abroad to find

winner37:
Sure is life ...
Why are so pretending to be saint ? You are serving devil directly or indirectly...

Poverty mindset !!!

Says someone who would do anything to make money...joke is on you.

The person you quoted no be your level. Kindly go through his threads. You fit afford boat cruise?

emmaodet:
So him gf dump am?
Never knew. Was surprised with his desperation though

Boss...

The breakfast no good oloun. He has been supporting the girl in school from 100level..naso she reach 400 level now come dey give the guy wahala...she left him oooh.

I told him to reach out to redpill. He abused me well well o. Now he wants to make money by any means evil or good. I don't need a soothsayer to know say he desires to showoff to the girl who left him and possibly take her back again.

I tire for the guy jare

Fuckyoumod:
what business do I have with a vagabond?

Lol....come here ...gimme a kiss

Diligence:
VERY SIMPLE WAY TO HANDLE MC OLUOMO: REPORT HIM & HIS CHILDREN TO US EMBASSY, SEND EVIDENCE OF HIS THREATS, TERRORISM, DISRUPTING DEMOCRATIC PROCESSS, THEN IT'S FINISHED FIR HIM & HIS CHILDREN IN THE US!

Meanwhile Vote Gbadebo Rhodes-Vivour
VoteAPCOut
Lagosians: Take Back Your State

See this one!!! Reporter oshi