₦airaland Forum

I read a book on submitting "Fascinating womanhood" Helen Andelin.

Its a step by step on how to be a female in a marriage

coogar: of course, men cannot always be right.....and when he is wrong, the partner should come to his aid. she is expected to work with her partner to put things right and minimize the consequences rather than using them to prove a point or as an excuse for rejecting him in some way. a man who has a submissive wife acquires a greater sense of self respect because he knows that she respects his authority in her life and she is not in any way trying to belittle him.



if a man already knows the woman he's married to is smarter than him, there won't be any argument. for instance, i am a quack in the kitchen - it's not possible for me to argue at what point should salt or pepper be added to a pot of stew. it's not my forte so whatever my wife decides to do won't be contested by me - she's superior in that field....same principle applies if the subject is my area of my specialisation!




marriage is not a competiton.....it's a journey undertaken by the husband and the wife in which they have to take decisions on which road to take at every junction in their journey. there's going to be a time when the couple would desire taking different roads - this is where mutual respect is expected to kick in. if there's love between them, they would work it out between themselves which road to take. if they both decide on road 1, then road 1 it must be regardless of what the outcome is. they would either succeed together or fail together.......there's no shame in that!

Did someone steal your log in details....I find myself nodding to all you wrote on this topic.

When I want the knacks I move to the sir stage. Its like submitting to him for me

Its very hard for a girl to play hard to get in this information age.

With a phone no in your hand you will have tooooooo easy access to her while with Fb you have more pics to swoon over.

Why does a gal play hard to get ? Its a good way to know a guy who is really really into you.

Its a great way to know a guy who does not give up in life.

Some tribe in Kenya give the woman to the man who can take the most lashes, the yorubas make him prostrate the Ibos make him pay through his nose.

A man values what he works for.

My advise is do not give up...

Airpure: I think your Ex is a wicked person. What he is trying to do is keep u hooked to him while he continues with his life. i guess he is scared his son will grow up calling another man Dad why didn he think of this before he got married. Let him go please and look for yours its not easy but u have to do it or else u will regret waiting for him when you old n grey.if possible please move far from him.some men sha.

This is my thought.

He wants to (keep) mistress you and wife another woman ...its modern polygamy.

Tell him you are interested but he will have to submit his divorce papers to you before he can steal another kiss.

calcal: In some states in the Yankee one can use Yoruba and Igbo language to conduct business at the drivers license center. I just don't know why they allow it when the same people are self killing their own language.

Yankee is too far....Google ng uses all 3 Nigerian Language.

Only inferiority complex and the inability to think in-depth will make someone not teach their kids their own language.

Some NIG schools now teach mandarin / Chinese language, the indians at work will speak their language at the tinyiest opportunity and wear their saris too and look at those countries becoming world power. In the USA they rarely show news from other parts of the world ....they are today's world power.

If people look down on us and treat our stuff as inferior must we do the same. Know that Adebowale can never become a King in England and will never speak English better that Brian. Bowale's power is his pride in his identity this is where he draws his strength from.No wonder the Indians and Chinese are taken over and spreading themselves. Bread and butter comes from knowing and being who you are not copying others.

Mo wi fun yii to

She caters to her mum but your own mom lives under your roof. ( all children do their head same at the back of their mama)

Her family is not your responsibility but only your wish (did this woman grow from the ground)

You have now surpassed her in education ( no competition truly)

Salary wise you earn 3 times more than she does (no competition)

She wears designers, drives a car ( no competition)

She caters to her family ( shebi they are not your responsibility)

A man is the head of the home (a wise man serves as a leader in his home)

Work on your self esteem and redefine what being a leader is. You can not forcefully lead but you can inspire respect and submission. Do this fast before your kids start living under another man's roof and calling him daddy. A word is enough.

I will rather be out there available for the right person than settle for the wrong person. Its worse than being single

Yep !

I am bored in Brixton,only moved to London in August and work as a professional in Central London but I need to make friends with other Nigerians.
If you live around Brixton, do say hi as I could do with NIG friends. ( I am not looking for papers or anything from you just hanging out with fellow Nigerians will do)
Men and women are welcome...do be aged above 25.
Thanks

Reference: I know where this kind of topic is going. Housemaid as distinct from househelp. The former is a professional working in your house. The answer to this is simple. Will you share the same table with the Board of Directors in your company's canteen (if they ever show up there). Most certainly, no. There will always be class differences.

If it is the informal, from the village kind of arrangement called househelp where there is no job description, no prospects and a great deal of flexibility then you are in a relationship with a great deal of liability that may warrant such human considerations.

In Central London where I work I share the canteen with the CEO of a global company. I call him by name and share jokes with him while getting my job done. If I think he is wrong I call him out on it.....Himself , I and the whole company are working for the good of the company.

tebill: I just pray they didn't steal his condoms........

He does not use condoms

GenBuhari: Is the IQ test written in Nigeria's language rather than english and based on things Nigerians understand?.

I reckon that at least a signifanct proportin of the total score would be influenced by these factors.

I wonder what the score of the average english man would be if the test was written in pidgin english and involved questions about popular nigerian pastimes? Do you think the english man could score upto 69?

Your IQ is definitely above 69

ROSSIKE: IQ tests are completely worthless, and are a mere propaganda tool for racists to air their ignoble ideas. Basing IQ tests on a nation's level of development (which tends to be what happens regardless of their methodology) is the height of stupidity, as it presupposes that developed nations were ''born developed'' and never had to go through the stages that we did, which is the height of lies and propaganda.

Your IQ is definitely above 69

matthew41: don't mind those idiot jare,this is 1 of their strategies to downgrade

Africans......Mtcheeeeeeewwwww.

Your IQ is definitely above 69

pastormustwacc: You are so right. This thread for instance, assuming, it represents a fair share of the population, should have an average IQ of say 50.

Your IQ is definitely below 69 #youshitwhereyoueat

CHUKWUKAHE: @ proudly africa NO. That one is anoda after when i decided to discontinue the relationship wt my so called wife 2day. It was after she discorver my relationship wt anoda babe she went to my rev fr to lodge a complain

So you were even cheating on her....where did you get food to pump your pump to cheat....SMH

deshclones: As you make your bed,so you lie on it....she must have exhibited one or two of the traits you listed above during courtship..but your third leg no let you think well...now you are stuck in a loveless home...kpele...

you said you wanna move out?..to where man?no job,no love....women....smh..i know your wife is igbo..na dem dey do this kind thing..denigrating a man when he is at his low moments...unlike other tribes that will go out and even get a sugar daddy that will even cater for the entire home,the man inclusive..afterall na only punny the sugar daddy go chop...igbo chics go follow kill the man..sad but true.

No wonder they are denigrating una...so you will eat from the money a sugar daddy gives your wife.
Such men and women deserve eachother.....SMH

No dignity !!!

I find this disturbing....

disturbedman: Agreed with the bolded but it was said in anger. Is it too much to get away with? So you're saying it was right for her to reply me in same manner?

Well thanks for your advice.

No its not right for her to reply you in that manner she too replied in anger. ( do you get it now....where there is a king there is a queen aka respect is reciprocal)

You want her to accept you but you are not ready to accept her ....that woman in your house is no longer the little girl you married, she is now somebody's mother. Women get immense grace and wisdom when they become mothers.
You can either crave and bully her to be like the girl of before or you can inspire respect by opening your mind to the letter she wrote to you and taking the lessons therein.
Women learn by example ..pls set a good one of being a man.....financially capacity is not what makes a man. Leadership means to serve. If you have problems with her helping out with the finances then ask her to stop I am sure she will be glad to. When you love someone you donot ridicule or bully them. Watch Obama and his wife and see if she supports him out of ridicule, shame or bully.

Billyonaire: Tales By Moonlight. I will respond irrespective of the fact that this is fiction. Little wonder your company failed. Your mentality defines your business acumen. You want men to fvck your wife to give you money ? You are a disgrace to the prick gender.

I agree !

OP wants to recapitalise for brothel business.

@OP your wife is a silly woman ...can she not tell her life is in danger ....I advise she leaves ASAP with her kids.

Only your mum can make that sacrifice for you....introduce her to them...and let us know how it goes.

@Johndoe the good thing about this fictional stories is that it brings out the not fictional part of the commenter ...

Mrs mansson: I would need a small girl aged btw 10-12 cos i ve had issues with all this matured pple

Kids of those ages have gone to school or should be schooling.......Please let them go to school.

Thank you
From
Do you pray your 10 yr old is nannying from house to house ?

hannydarl: And you believe only a husband can feed and cloth a woman? You think only a husband can make a woman pregnant? Na wa. Do you think the womans duty as a home maker is not important too? The man plays his role and is appreciated likewise a good and carring mother plays her role. They are both important to bring up successful kids and family as a whole.

I kneel down to say sorry to my hubby cos he is much loved by me. Its wise to boost a mans ego. He feels you acknowledge him as a special part of the home. Its tickles his imagination. But he must love you too to appreciate your kneeling down if not it back fires.
I overheard once one ashawo man bragging to his friend. How his wife dared not ask him where he is comming from even if he leaves the house for days. How she begs him on her knees if he frowns at her questions as to what he has been upto. He was bragging to his friends and their sugar girls. Such men see your kneeling down as a sign of hopelesnes. Like you cannot eat or drink without them. And if you progress financially, they feel threatened.
A kind, loving, caring and understanding hubby is rare(most naija men will remind you howmuch garri you eat in their house). He deserves all the kneeling down his wife wants to offer. He is special and treats her special. I kneel to say thank you when ever he wows (He blushes and does more jara afterwards) me not neccesarily when he I want to say sorry.

Gbam!!!

Worship no other but GOD it is he provides.

Your explanation is IT!

freecocoa: Seriously? No offense but there is something wrong with that girl.

Correction: Many things wrong with the girl not something

Chrisbenogor: Yo!
So maybe I am still recovering from that Michelle Obama speech, but every good man out there deserves to have a wife like that who can stand and talk of their man the way she did (and I dont care if they end their marriage tomorrow). I would be certain that she understands my values and what I stand for. She believes and understands what it takes to have a good marriage not just a "wedding day".

M Obama is an amazing woman ( my role model) she is a strong but kind black woman worthy of emulating she is no door mat yet she is humble and compassionate....the speech she made about him before the initial election, her hair was loosely packed , she looked like she had not slept properly and was without glamour yet she spoke like the soldier she is for her family....B Obama is one very lucky man....

You are so sweet.

15k is ok a nice gold chain 18k especially from bureau de change malam then place it in a case and buy a box of choc to add to it then show her your swimming skills in your bedroom....hehhehe.

Jewellery is a very romantic gift.

9lifes: Pastors are the worst sets of people after politicians..sorry to offend pastor worshipers and those that go to church,no offense.

No matter how they screw up they'll still reverence them.Wife beating is common among pastors,its a normal thing. Pastor recommendation my head.Na so one illiterate called a pastor came asking for my sister's hand in marriage,i told my parents that if it happens i will shoot them.I called the id_iot of a pastor and warned him not to even say hi to my sister or else he will receive the beating of his cursed life,and i will beat him in the anointing..god spoke to me that your sister is my wife..nonsense,i was mad..men i rained insult on him,nonsense.Girl wey just enter uni...

Tell you friend to leave,she is building on the wrong foundation.But why do women endure abusive husbands like this,why is this becoming the norm?

Debrief,CC and Jenny,you people must not stop talking oooh,its sad.

Too funny !


Obviously the beating was not bad enough..... ( but was the 9 months not hard enough too or the labour no pain am)
Madam remain there. ( sarcasm!!!)

bbpreye: How does this affect the price of garri? Huh?

F off with your hungry garri ass....peeps who have eaten are discussing.

worry 359: If your friend (or you) is only playing for an amateur (unpaid) hobby team then there is no way that they will qualify for working visa.
If you stay as illegal then you will never get profesional place.
The first thing that they will do is check your status and you will be deported with ban.
You will not get visit visa to look for job even playing football.
In your story you are desparate not to go home.
This is very bad as visa officer needs proof that you will go home or proof of well paying job offer.

Thanks for your response...

justwise: The best people to advice you is your club, they will know if its possible for them to sign you without you going back to Nigeria.

Though i got the feeling that you will be asked to go back to Nigeria to apply for appropriate visa

Thanks Justwise. I am asking for a friend so will let him know. Not the news he wants though but honesty is it.

I came into the UK with a student tier 4 visa for two and a half years, my visa runs out in december this year however
i wish to stay for another five years or stay indefinately in the country because of my sport career as I currently play
for a division 5 team as a goal keeper and I am the number 1 goaly my team needs me as much as i need them. I have been a

commited to my foortball for a long time and now finally made it to a premier amateur division as i still look forward to getting a

contract into a bigger league . Please advise me on how to get a 5 years extension on my visa or a new visa or ultimately an

indefinate leave to remain.
I appreciate your help and look forward to your helpful replies.

hannydarl: Yes! Break it, burn her young single lady clothes, cut her off from family. while at it, burn her certificates and diploma if she has any cos if she dare find a job men can toast her. Then kill all those ex bfs and then put her in a room and seal it with bricks. Keep space for food and your dick to do her doggy style without openning the cage. Durriong labour deliver her yourself o Cos a midwife can go tell people how her younder is and what it looks like. Don't let her look at any man hide her sons from her too. There! Now you have her ALL to your dick alone.

Could not have said it better....this will really sort out his ego

No Steve ....she is British by birth like he is too but she grew up in Lagos so not conversant with the UK law or Naija law as concerns divorce.

Court registry marriage.

Bump!

My friend got married to a british man and their $ex life was good. He has 3 kids from his previous marriage but she has no kids yet and they discussed having more kids before getting married in Nigeria which he said he wanted kids.

She relocated to the UK with her husband and came off contraceptives then he immediately stopped sleeping with her, its been 4 years now and they have had $ex only 3 times in 4 years and he does not seem to care ...my friend wants kids and is worried.

They dated for 2 years before getting married so a total of 6 years all together....now my friend wants a divorce so she can marry someone who wants her and wants kids and start a family.

The question is

Can they do one of those quickie divorce things online in the UK even though they married in Nigeria.

What is the quickest procedure of getting a divorce in her situation...does she have to go to Nigeria.

bennyraz: Hmmm. Funny. @18yrs old marrying 45yrs old. When the man is 60yrs the lady would be 33yrs. At the time, d lady would be tire of her hubby saggy weak d1ck. The man wouldn't have enuf strength 4 her again. At that point, wife 33yrs might look for a 20 something years old or 30
something years old man to help kill her libido or to satisfy her on bed. Shekena. Any other opinion is a counterfeit.

This is the only issue ....but its also a very big only issue....