₦airaland Forum

When they do get married however, real life comes upon them, the bills, their duties, funny habits, children etc and then, they start to feel trapped with no where to run. It's better to wait until you can't hold off any longer and then you'll know that you're entering it for good.

I know this discussion is another matter of perception (like arguing about the features of the holy spirit) but don't you sense a contradiction in your statement? You mentioned that it is best to get married at 30 or so, what exactly makes that an age that a guy can't hold off any longer, as you already stated that young people in love face a compuilsion to marry. . .

who exactly sets that hold-off-no-longer-age? Some people can't hold off any longer at age 21. I can hold off till age 90, I'm that willed. If your position were to be true, everyone would marry their first love.

Laws of perception flaw the 'one shoe fits all' theory, and on every ground. For instance, in America, at 18, your parents are kicking you out of the house. You're paying your college fees. You're getting your own apartment, you're 'discovering' yourself. You're prepping your religious mask, or even glueing it to your face (quite early). You've impregnated your girlfriend, and she's having a baby boy. HA! If that's what you mean by maturity, hmmm.
In Naija, you're a baby till you're done with college, your mom still washes your clothes. You still ask your dad for tuition money. Even when you're done, you go to your parents to help you find a girl, or you announce it to your friends to keep an eye out for you. you're making N100,000 a month. If that's maturity, hmmm.

If maturity is embracing religion, and becoming born again, the we're presented with another logical fallacy-- because religion doesn't go hand in hand with effective problem solving.

So I guess the question is "what is maturity?" The answer is: your definition.

if you don't think you're mature, then don't even think about marriage. Anyone can get married at any age, if the law allows you to. The question is rather: "what age is one 'mature' enough to handle the challenges of marriage?"

When your heart finds someone it can't afford to lose. . When your life is stuck to anothers like with glue. .

When it's just that girl/guy in the whole planet that you want. . When you both feel the same about each other. .

When you're past the infatuation phase. . When you realize-- through it all-- that he/she has been the one beside you. .

When you've roamed the world over, and seen none other. . When you're captivated by her mere breath. .

When you will kill for her. . and die for her. .

When she's everything you got. .

Yes you are ready.

But if she's just another girl. .

no you're not.

I'm the poorest of men. But I feel richer than kings when she's by my side. My lover whose finger posess absolutely no talent, whose temper sends bad cramps toward my rectum, whose english is not the most perfect, captivates my every being. I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with her. I don't care what the world thinks.

Olu,

I play contemporary jazz most often, and funk. I also am into old school jazz but not that much. RnB/rock are very simple genres I play, so I incorporate some unusual twists to it. I guess most instrumentals are considered jazz, or classical.

I started playing keyboards at age 11, but I drifted into bass. I've been in music for about nine yrs now. I wasn't taught a single note in music; I learnt everything by just messing around, accounting for my ardent inability to read music.

When our church bought a keyboard, I wasn't allowed near it. I would sneak into where it was stored still in plastic and all, and play something with my hand in the box. I was young.

you're right.

I don't think I'm going into it professionally. I wish I could do it on a professional basis, but it's not necessarily a road I wanna walk. well dogs say "them that got but-cheeks don't know how to sit". Maybe I need some push.

I barely slap. There's this fascination with steve bailey's style improvisional chords. He uses lots of artificial harmonics, it's not even funny. I also love victor's 1 man show.

Yes, this mainly discourages me from solos. I play mostly chords.

Also, 6 strings sounds different. So being that I play by ear, I almost have to be able to replicate exactly what I hear, otherwise, the muse dies. so it's easier replicating chords.

How long have you been playin'? (you look in your 30's.)

darlinbas,

I check't your stuff out. It's because of guys like you I flee from my bass guitar. You're very good. You play a little something like John Patitucci. I never ventured a six string guitar even. Most of the things you do can be done on a four-string (wooten plays like that too) but it's one hell of a feat.

I wish I had guys like you around here to play with. I live in a white neighborhood and pretty much all they understand is Rock. So I try to incorporate a few funky riffs here and there, which is leading me to create my own style of play: Jazzy-Rock. Not that it hasn't been done before, but it's kind'a like my version, all improvised on a four-string guitar. It's hard doing it alone tho'.

Again, I admire your talent greatly (I know you heard that b4). Keep it up.

natur,
I could not attach a .zip file. What's your contact info lemme mail it to you?

Mr. Nature here you go. I checked but no I didn't have them in my "collection". But you can get them online.

You can find a free audio sample here (Quick-time player):

http://www.classical.net/music/comp.lst/pachelbel.html

And you can get Pachelbel's Cannon in D major (sheet music) here. However, you cannot save it to a disket, you have to print out, I wonder if it helps?:

http://www2.free-scores.com/PUBLIC/pachelbel_kanon_e.pdf

So about your sight reading thing. I'm assuming you can already read sheet music, but you want to get confident to look only at the page while playing. I don't read music and I don't know exactly how that works. But I can memorize tunes and play everything I hear. So to me, it's all about learning the song till I can hum to it's every tune, then I can play it. And of course, this means I can play almost everything I hear.
Some of the greatest modern classical pianists I know do not read from sheets while on stage. They must have played the tunes so many times that they know it in all it's speed and accuracy. But not to undermine sheet music, I'm just saying that one trains himself on a more sophisticated plane if he learns to play by the heart, and from the heart.

it's all about practice. I know you've heard this before-- but if you really want it, you'll get it.

There is a wide range of possibilities as to why people that drink cold water sing funny. It however doesn't hold true for me. I can eat anything I want and still sing good.

The sound of your voice can however be affected by whether conditions, like say, if the whether is dry, you will be coarse. Not like you wont be able to sing, but you will need to drink lots of water (doesn't matter cold or hot).

Now, If you can sing, you can sing. It doesn't matter what you eat. However there are times your vocal cords aren't ready, immediately you wake up from sleep-- in the morning; it takes a special miracle to even talk right without sounding like a corpse. Times also when your're fatigued, hungry, or dis-illusioned (pissed-off or sorts), or belly-full, you can't sing well.

Some people naturally have the high pitch tendency in the genes, which is most times random. He might tell you he licks pepper-mint or sugar or vegetable oil (which very well might work, just like a habbit of blowing the mic before one sings!) but most of that is all in the mind. So my simple advice is: go with whatever works for you!!

@natur

I'll check to see if I have that piece by "Palchelbel". I dont know if I'd be able to find anything but anyways, y'never know. nice to finally have someone say something.

@gbenga

yeah singing beautifully-- it requires time. You need something like a semi-intensive vocal training. It requires listening to your favorite artists songs, extensively. Extensively boring too. However, when it becomes routine, it wont be as torturous.
The aim of listening to songs over and over is to develop an ear for it. The brain deals in logic. For you to understand the difference between what you sing like, and what they sing like, your brain has to deduce the differences. . . most times, this happens sub-consciously. So yeah do that, you'll notice the difference, and funnily enough, this might just be all you need to sing alot better than you already do.

--retort--

me 2 cents.

Women call love something utterly different from what men call it. What often dissipates love in a relationship is when neither party is willing to compromise when issues come up. When both have different definitions of love, neither knows what the other actually wants.

Love is a culmination of compatibility, trust and every other (you name). Love in itself doesn't exist; it's just a word used to describe a feeling elicted by certain qualities. Compatiblity, trust, intimacy, even sex, understanding all require compromise. When one of these qualities is lacking, love still exists, but is incomplete. However, one of these qualities alone cannot define love.

Falling in love (in psychology terms) is a simple temporary collapse (or extension) of the minds 'ego' bounderies. It is a phase where couples may (or not but mostly) experience bloom and ecstasy. This duration varies for different couples. When these mind extensions replace themselves, couples are said to have changed. When "falling in love" is mistaken for love in itself, the relationship dies soon.

Falling in love is but an illusion.

Naija ladies, most --if not all--_{it's a huge exegeration, I know. .}, have self esteem problems. They either have too much or too little. Either way, they're problematic.

Ladies love control. They want to always fight for it, and they want the guy to put up a fight, but allow them to win "because we're ladies. . ." but then when guys don't understand why the fuss, they are said to have little or no ideas on how to treat ladies.

Ladies expect men to think like them. (everyone expects everyone to think like them, but hey this is a special case.) Most women are illogical. Hmm. Maybe I should say most guys are alot more logical than most ladies.

One thing ladies need to understand: Your man is not allowed to think like you. (There's nothing wrong with it). But in a relationship there has to be balance. (you already know that). When a girl thinks totally like a guy, the relationship can work, but it'll be a working disaster. Same happens when a guy sees the world from his girl's perspective-- yeesh.

It's all about understanding the balance point folks. But men don't feel like going that far to understand with any girl. And girls after a while of understanding, get burned out, turning to nag-warriors, fight-queens and mischief-machines. aw well me2 cents a year late

love is a subjective term.

"LOVE" is only a word. What matters is the connection the word implies.

Divine intervention?

I think ugly girls (I call them girls from the city of UG) can get married despite their different culture. They blend in beautifuly sometimes that it's hard to tell the difference between normal people. The creative ones come up with other modes of communication and connection than their physical appearance; Some develop talents and skills, others clean up their characters and develop charming wiles, augumenting for their diffeciency.

Don't mind me. Beauty is, and has always been in the eyes of the beholder. Everyone is ugly. Some people are just uglier than others.

nferyn:
If that's really how you perceive things, I just feel so sorry for all these poor children that have to pass through the sorry excuse for an educational system you were exposed to

Laughing hard*

wicked ppl. . .

You just tell him "the gods be with you. ." and send him away just like tha?

nigerians are used to looking down on young 1s. Olaminus don't make her feel bad. She didn't do anything wrong. Being cool doesn't say anything about her.

Find someone you havent slept with

lol

jaybaby:
'njoy your dumb self i'm off 2 my bed

Good night wise one

Back to topic.

I dont think there's anything wrong with me not wanting you to misunderstand me.

Chill girl.

i was only saying that for you to make a generalization that All guys think sex when they see a girl, you must be goin thru some really tough times with em.

maybe I am stupid. . . the odds are I'm not.

It's funny you're still bent on you assertion that ALL guys think sex whenever they look at you. You make a pathetic mind-reader.

jaybaby:
No because all that sounds in der Head when they see a girl is SEX,SEX.SEX

Yeah it probably holds true for all the guys you meet. . . those stupid guys. you're very unlucky.

Girl i feel your pain.

It's hard to be in your shoes. But I'm there right now and it aint fun. The good thing about sex is: As long as one doesn't tatoo his name on the others genital, there's no way anyone knows how many times or who you have slept with. There's nothing special about you (like some have said); But there is nothing special about any one-- your accusers to be specific.

Guys do shit. Some guys-- even on this thread are stupid. The only thing you have is your intellect, and yourself. There's always time to smart up and start afresh. Get up, clean up and move on. you'll find a man that'll respect every being of you. Besides, you're beautiful!

I never had a girl love me and I didn't reciprocate it; although it hasn't happened many times. But it must be a pain for a girl to love a guy that doesn't love her back.

I guess the real question is: "How do you express your love toward him?". Guys respond differently to girls that love them. I think it's absolutely beautiful for a girl to ask me out, but when she's all over me, it's another question-- I respond differently to that. When i mean "different" I mean it's a turn-off.

I advice: move on with your life; You still have a wide range of guys to love you. From handsomely dumb to beautifully sculpted to highly nerdy-- you'll have your pick.

@candyboy

yooo that ain't right man. . . you don't even say it that you gonna hit a woman. . .

It's a lil repulsive. . . take it back.

Just as rightly as seun said; There's no blowing her mind right now. You don't know her well enough. Anything you try right now thinking you doing something big might heave unnecessary disequilibrum on the relationship, especially if the girl thinks you want her to reciprocate it. The relationship is not yet ready to take anything mind blowing.

All you gotta be is yourself. If you can't find anything right now, it'll come later. It's the big things girls like you for; But they love you for the little things. slow and steady ((repeat after me)) sl ow a nd s t ea dy.

scondy:
well,i must admit that efik ibo really feels my gist.
most guys feel they know what they want and go for it but the real gist is that they actually don't know.an average guy if asked to describe his ideal woman would rant on and on,but when it actually comes to confrontin such issues they are handicapped.the thing is, the ideal woman a guy wants in his thoughts actually bores him in real life cases.why?because guys haven`t realised one law to romance and love,which is, THERE IS NO DESCRIPTION TO WHO U WANT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH, [/b]it is something that flows and whatever that makes that person her/him is what you're fallin for not what u want or think he/she should be.

In real life, things happen differently than they are planned. Before I say any more, one question for you: How exactly does [b]your point that men have no description of who they want to fall in love with have anything to do with the fact that they are men? What makes your statement true?

baby4ever:
Well to my own opinion l think distance matters and at the same time it doesn't. I am an example:- l have travelled overseas now for the past 3years leaving a relationship of 4years behind. Yes my partner love me so much that even if l tell him, he's free to keep another relationship, do you know what he tells me? He will say he will never do that, despite the fact that lam a naughty girl l will say, he still loves me yet he have sex with other girls and he won't allow me too yet l miss sex so bad. When ever lam urge push me too close to men l prefer to get fingered and 3 to 4 time have l had anus sex for l receive my pussy for my baby. l love him so much l think if we no longer be together l will not have any other guy for hes my 2nd love but l gave him my virginity. So l will say distance matters for some distance makes relationship or love fade when the 2 parties can not tell when they will see or hold each other again, Telephone or other mains of communications can never take the place of someone you truly love.

what the hell?
wooooooooooooooooooooooow hahahaha
hahahahaahahah
aww that's so cute. . . She having anals because she's reserving her pussy for her baby! Why didn't I think of that?

PTBNaija:
Can I just say one thing that I forgot to mention earlier, everyone is a virgin and in a relationship at one point. So if virgins shouldn't be in relationships, how would people be allowed to be in relationships then?

How did you come up with the conclusion that everyone is a virgin and in a relationship at some point? Isn't it possible for some to have had a one night stand before they dated? But then assuming that were true, the answer to your question would be that you're right. But then your nitial assumption's not accurate.