₦airaland Forum

Whiteroses U no well ooh  .

What we have in common is a die hard spirit, and a strong will to survive against all odds. We are not suicidal or prone to committing suicide when faced with challenges (like our counterparts in the western world like to do).

REALKINGSON:
i mean,why would a girl carry on for weeks/months without washing her hair just because she has some silly weave-ons/at tachments that only makes her look sillier?the pugnant smell your hair posseses as a result of your 'months' old sweat and dusts is quite disgusting!yuck

I beg to differ oooh. Most women I know (me inclusive) carry their weave ons for two weeks max, braids on the other hand tend to last longer and we do wash our scalp and braids to keep it looking good and smelling nice.

For those who don't want to wash their braids, cotton wool and spirit will clean the scalp and free it of dust/sweat. REALKINGSON what kind of girls do you know or have you been hanging out with? Women tend to take their personal hygiene seriously ooh from Head to Toes (speaking for myself and the majority I know)

M M M:
op
LOVE is 4 a period of short time it dies after sometime when it fade,
we re not ment 2 luv 4 a long time.

But

HATE is a long time and forever,
when u hate some1 it is till death.

Chaaaii! M M M Please tell me you honestly do not believe what you wrote up there. Love doesn't have to be for a short period of time and I do not think you hate someone till you die. I think after a while the hate just turns into indifference i.e you neither hate nor love the person in question.

On the other hand, I think Love and Hate is a state of the mind. Whatever you tell your mind to do, that's what it does. Can I get a witness to this

If I really care about him I would give him another chance, BUT a serial cheater will be kicked to the curb. I learnt an interesting fact in life there is no guarantee that the next man won't cheat on me.

Therefore how many men will I end up dating, if I leave each one for cheating? I no fit answer ooh. I won't condone it or take it like a mugu either. Other factors will determine how I will ultimately react besides my affection for the dude.

Talking about cheating I wonder why men can't stop once they are married. I believe you all would have played the field and sown your wild oats while single so give it a break when married, I don't think intimacy is different in anyway with the next woman (or man). I stand to be corrected.

I think there really is a thin line between love and hate, and people tend to cross over or are pushed over that line from loving someone to hating them.

I also think it's human nature to quickly forget the good things people have done in our lives and to be fixated on the one bad thing they've done. If we try to recall all their good deeds and forget the bad ones we'll be fine. But we both know that is easier said than done.

Is an ex currently hating you?

Yoru_Igbo:
Please contact Madoba, she sound like she is interested in you and you probably have the same way of thinking, person wey wan die don jam who wan bury am,

Yoru_Igbo, LOL u no well ooh! I tell you say I wan hook up? I'm impressed by the fact that there are still men like the poster out there,am not necessarily interested in the dude. Nigerians in yankee too get issues

wait4me:

What's so funny? I might just be your missing rib for all you know Just kidding around.

Deluxe, I am Ebenezer Scrooge when it comes to paying men compliments. From personal experience it does get into their heads and if you dare compliment them more than twice they think you've got a thing for them or want to get laid by them.

mohid:
This is sheer hypocrisy! why do we have states and regions, Nigeria is for all Nigerians no doubt but a Fulani man cannot share equal land rights with a Tiv man on farm lands in Benue state its just not done and if u are an indigene of a state in Nigeria u would know its true and not just for land matters but same goes for elective offices, government  appointments, state university admissions, and a whole lot of other issues, and for those who think the Fulani attack does not have a religious bearing, well ask yourself how come the Fulanis seem to always be at loggerheads with farmers in predominantly middle belt Christian communities like in Benue and Plateau …pray how many Fulani herdsmen have u heard attack farmers in the northern part of Nigeria where we have more farmlands than in the middle-belt?

God bless you my brother. namfav & alj harem your posts tell me you are clearly of northern region and are in support of this barbaric act committed by the fulanis shame on you northerners who believe in taking arms against others for every little thing.

I know the tivs to be a very hospitable and peaceful people. You b.a.s.t.a.r.d.s from the northern region are killers and repulsive maggots this country is still reeling from the havoc you caused during the last elections. I repeat useless idiotic b.a.s.t.a.r.d.s in the northern region death to you all

This is truly sad. I remember when soldiers went on a killing spree in Benue when some of their men (i think about 2) were killed during tribal clashes on the basis of mistaken identity.

It was heart breaking what the soldiers did in that town. I wonder what they would do about this latest incident now that the fulanis have killed one of their own.

odumchi:
^^
Na wow.

My guy is about resigning but he wants to take his employer to court just to make sure his debt will be paid.

Let him try and do what he can to get his money, but am skeptical if that will yield positive results. Do you know how many times I called and emailed my former boss to pay me my money. It was 80k just one month's salary and he hasn't paid as I write. If this man refused to pay one month's salary am not sure 5 month's will be paid ooh.

ThiefOfHearts:
There's no such thing as final closure. No matter what he tells you. It wll never be enough so let it go. f you two were meant to be, you two would be the ones getting married. Simple as that.
If you were the wife would you want some girl coming around yarning about "closure"?
As as it obviously is, move on and close that chapter.

My sista, I hear you. And believe me am trying here and want to truly let go. I use the word truly because I thought I was over this dude and now I can't understand why my emotions have been up & down. If you are truly over someone you shouldn't feel this way right? Or is this normal and i just need to get a firm grip?

Once in Law School I said to a male friend of mine that I was looking for and would like to date a man who could carry on a relationship without sex involved in it. He had a really good laugh and told me to give him a call the day I find such a man.

When we had that conversation he sounded like it was impossible to find such a man. It's been 4 years now and I figure he's still laughing at me because he hasn't received that call yet.

It's refreshing to know there are still men like you out there and you don't have to compromise because there are still women who think along the same lines as you. As a matter of fact I feel the same way you do and I am determined to chose a path that God can bless and honour, by making sure my next relationship is clean and free of pre-marital sex.

Yes am heart broken (not exactly sure if that's what it is) but I've been feeling emotional of late because my very first boyfriend the one who ,  you know what , got married recently. Even though we officially broke up a long time ago, we stayed in touch over the years and would sometimes hook up with each other if one party was visiting the state/vicinity of the other.

I think it's true what they say about your first cut being the deepest, because when I heard about his wedding (he told me) I got all emotional with mixed feelings. A part of me felt like "that could have been me getting married to him" AND then the other part  felt like we weren't meant for each other so let it go for real and move on.

Has anyone ever felt this way about an ex? There's this other angle to it, where I feel like calling him to talk (not sure what exactly there is to talk about) but I think I want to hear him say he stills care for me but had to marry his wife for whatever reasons. At the same time I don't want to make a fool of myself but I also feel like a heart to heart conversation with him will help bring  final closure for me.

What do you all make of this and what would you advice? Please keep it real/honest and leave the insults out. Would particularly love to hear from men with matured minds.

AjanleKoko:
He'd be better off to look for another job.
The bad thing about working for no pay is, you keep spending money, and wasting your time, when you could spend that time doing something else.

True talk . I once worked with an organization that couldn't pay salaries, my case wasn't so bad though. Salaries were never paid on time and when paid it was never the full amount.

It's a waste of time, energy and personal resources, I was constantly borrowing money to get things done, then paying off debts once paid. Tell your friend it's not worth it. Chances are he won't get paid I left that organization with them owing me a full month's salary.

ZIM DRILL:
long ago women stayed in marriages becoz they had to choices and society was not supporting i.e she wouldnbt be working how was she going to look after herself, now women woman are working they dont need man to lookafter her financially and society nolonger protects abusing husbands

woman nolonger say i stay put for the sake of kids

I agree with Zimdrill, but to be honest I don't personally know any divorced couples. However times have changed and women are more empowered today educationally, financially, business wise etc, etc therefore they don't need to wait around or depeand on a man for everything especially one who is abusive or extremely failing in his duties as a husband and father.

Outstrip:
So you feel that you did not learn this fast enough because you are female?

NO Outstrip, I didn't learn this on time because no one (in all of the places I've worked) has ever bothered to ellaborate or explain the concept, you are often just told to be professional and that's it. not because am female

deluxecad:
Could you please post some of the content of the professional conduct stuff for us to see and read.

Don't have my flash drive to upload it, but a google search of professionalism at the work place will bring up a lot materials on the subject.

kokoye:
You should be happy . . she'll drop the booty for you in about two weeks too, just hang on

Very funny kokoye  .  At poster: you probably think she's cheap and must have already judged her so in your mind which will make it difficult for you to carry on any sort of relationship with her. Don't judge her too harshly chics sometimes do crazy things like this (even the very decent ones), but i think its stupid when they tell a potential date about it, the girl na jambite.

Ouch! Sorry to hear that but what do you intend to do? Why aren't you ending up with this ex in marriage if you guys are still getting down.

Learning quite a lot from this thread. Just want to know what would be a better option here in Lagos if you've got the money, is it

a. buying a house to probably refurbish it or
b. building one from scratch.

Option A, appeals to me because all the hassle of dealing with dishonest rogues in option B can be done away with but would like to hear from guys.

Like someone said TDH (tall, dark & handsome) men are appealing to the eye, they are good to look at and admire that does not mean we necessarily want to date them.

I usually date well dressed & good looking men, not TD & H ones, so poster there's hope for you.

I thought friends ex were off limits!! Having said that if the bond is really tight I would go for it but would let my friend know from day one how I feel about this ex. Just speaking theoritically don't know for certain how i would react if I was truly faced with a situation like this.

I feel you on item 6 (double standards)

emmke:
some seem to have something to say at all times. They cant just STHU

I don't see how this(your statement above) makes you any different or better than the people you've criticized. If you don't have a worthwhile contribution to make to a thread just pass on by and let those who have something worthwhile to say speak, its as simple as that oooh.

Why don't you man up, and ask him the real reason he has been laid off. Personally, I wouldn't go into business with ill gotten wealth whether someone else stole it and not me, If I hope and expect God to bless my business venture.

@ deluxe I can relate to what you are saying because as a woman I am guilty of some of the things you mentioned such as wearing a long face all day after an argument and mood swings (i.e being pleasant/enthusiastic one day and being totally unethusiastic and real quiet on another day).

Men and women are wired differently and this may account for the difference in our conduct at the work place, another factor that may be responsible could be the lack of basic induction and training for new staff in organizations. Recently I decided to research/read on-line materials on professionalism and what professional conduct truly means.

I was shocked at the number of things that constitute professional conduct at the work place, which I have been ignorant of even though I've worked for 4 years now since NYSC. Granted as employees we often learn most things on the job but this issue of professional conduct/professionalism at the work place is one that should be taught to every employee in the first week of their employment. both experienced and inexperienced recruits should be trained on this as it will go a long way in saving the organization from the sort of issues you stated and preventing employees from commiting too many blunders.

I've oftened heard the phrase "he/she was unprofessional" "be professional" etc etc but until now I never really understood the meaning of the concept or what it entails. Thanks to internet sha, now i know better and will strive to be professional at work. if any of my employers had bothered to train me on this i would be better off today. You know just as parenst train their children, teachers instruct their students and so on, employers do have a certain responsibilty to their employees in this regard.

Oh shoot! Why do we (women) do this? A man will never forgive your infidelity, my motto: If you haven't been caught red handed never confess or admit to anything. You severely hurt or damage your relationship. Learnt this the hard way with an ex who is actually getting married today and tomorrow.

This was my first relationship ever (in university) and in my naivety I thought I was doing the right thing NEVER AGAIN OOH, LIE LIE I don't think he ever got over it or has truly forgiven me though we did date two more years before calling it quits and he often reminded me of it even after we left school.

Its better to let him suspect than actually hear it from you. Guys am I right or wrong? help us out hear ooh, which would you prefer the truth or your suspicions and our silence or should I call it denial

LADIES NEVER CONFESS YOUR INFIDELITY?TRANSGRESSION ESPECIALLY IN MARRIAGE, CONFESS TO GOD AND LEAVE IT AT THAT.

Absolutely a great write up. I concur with your statement on "Inappropriate dressing" it is way too prevalent at Nigerian weddings especially here in Lagos. Back in my home state though the rate of "inappropriate dressing" at weddings is very low, because we are a conservative and laid-back sort of state.

So if you appear at a wedding dressed inappropriately chances are that you will be the odd one. Most women attend this weddings in traditional attire and not the western and skimpy attires some lagos babes love.

chamber2:
^[sup][/sup]

Since you are a law graduate, why not develop some writing skills?Start writing articles for news papers etc.

That sounds like a great idea. But writing doesn't particularly interest me and really I haven't got the talent for some thing like that.

camelot:
abeg shes too old jare ,

Too old for what exactly? Too old to look good and hot for herself? Girl friend please get a grip there's absolutely nothing wrong with her looks or with older women dressing fine to look good, so long as their dressing is not indecent or inappropriate. You realise we are all going to age some day don't you? So the too old phrase will apply to you sooner or later.

obowunmi:
Are you looking to get promoted ? Remember work hard and not smart ? What is your position within this organization --- can you work with someone on a project or create your own project ---- the fact that you're bored doesn't mean that you have to look for another job. Just means that its time you start thinking creatively with the type of job that you have.

Whats your role within this company ? Entry level ? Middle Manager ? Ordinary staff ? Can you work with someone on a project or create your own --- I look forward to hearing from you.

Mmmh, I would consider my role to be middle manager, my position is administrative manager (but I prefer admin officer). Am i looking to get promoted? For now I don't see myself getting promoted because this is a new organization I joined them in August of 2010, July will make me a year here and so far I am still the only staff they've brought on board.

There are no higher positions to aspire to for now because none has been created. I studied law and this is a medical/healthcare education company (not a hospital or HMO). Projects are basically determined by my superiors who are doctors. They decide what sort of medical skills training or workshop to hold for healthcare workers. Now that is not my field of expertise so i can't create projects of my own I can only work on projects they create.

My job is to basically manage every aspect of our workshops from providing catering to handling hotel and travel arrangements, preparing certificates etc etc. I only find myself busy before a training, during the training and shortly after training. So if they do not schedule projects/trainings I have practically nothing to do work wise.

karis:
Well i agree with chamber2, get materials and develop yourself. Look for other areas at work that is active and productive and likely overstretched at the time. Volunteer and help out. You might also learn a thing or two. About going ons in other aspects of the business. Stay busy and productive. At the slow time add value to yourself, study. Such investment is never wasted.

Trust me, I've done this and I still do it as often as I can but there are days when I'm not just in the mood to read materials because I truly desire to be actively engaged/busy. I didn't bargain for a job where there would be long periods of inactivity as well as idleness. Besides HR, I am the only staff of this organization for now, so there's no where to volunteer and help out as you've suggested.

My superiors do not reside in the same town with me, two are based in the US and one is in PH,they come around when we do have projects to work on and execute. May I add that they also have other business concerns where they reside so really , what can I do.