₦airaland Forum

Originalsly:
Think stress caused the heart attack. Guess it was like life or death for the baby to be born in the US.... the unforseen expenses probably stressed him out. Most likely he will be cremated and she given an urn with his ashes. She will really need help to get back home.

You're very right! A lot of these people can't afford to pay cash for the medical expenses here but stretch themselves thin just so they can get the citizenship for their kids. And these bills pile up like no mans business

Talk2Bella:
for what purposes would a man take his pregnant wife who's almost due his two kids and himself abroad if not to make sure the new born is an automatic citizen? his kids granted green card and himself working his ass off? he doesn't need to tell me this is the life most people have been subjected to

How exactly would the kids be granted a green card?? And where was he stated that he was working or even wanted to work in the first place? Most of these people just come here to have kids and go back to Nigeria afterwards. A lot of them bring older kids just so they could have s vacation of sorts.

Liftedhands:
Sugah ndo Nne.


Erm your. Breast size caught my attention did you say you went from DD to.H

Please were do you buy your bra? Cos.my DD is spilling everywhere for.lack of a.right sized bra! I.Just can't seem.to.get one that fits this days! Please any suggestion? Other mamas biko chook mouth ayam in.dire need of asize 44DD bra

Lmao. I wear size 4-6 clothes but I'm a G cup. Infact 32G like Sugah sef . The only place I buy bras is at Soma and Wacoal. Cos I went to Victoria secrets and the idiot salesgirl said it out loud to me (and everyone else there). We don't carry your size!!

You might have to get resized for a bra though, cos I used to wear D cups then, but the will always jump up annoyingly. The bras I get from those places might be expensive but they're very durable and last looonggg! Now I'm even able to wear strapless bra. Praise the lord!!

Talk2Bella:
to him it was

And you know that, how? He told you?

eightsin:
R.I.P to him

Buh spending 10k dollars that you don't have for burial!! not wise...

It's not about being wise or not. That's about how much a normal, no frills, no extra burial costs in the US. From buying of the casket, to buying plot at the cemetery, to headstone costs, grave diggers and all. Google is your friend.

Mind you, it will cost waayy more to fly the corpse to a Nigeria.

Such a sad situation and I'm pretty sure the wife is here to have a child. May God help her and her family.

Akorkor:
En en? I bath twice a day ohhh!!! I may try that.

Stop bathing the baby twice a day. Infact, bathe at most, 4 times a week. That's how I conquered our own severe skin issues. His pediatrician told me "Stop bathing him everyday, babies don't get dirty. It's not as if he's rolling in the mud all day" But I moisturize him like 3 times a day with Aquaphor. Now he's free of extremely dry skin.

sugah:
Weldone mamaOO. I recognize the background of pix 2. Is it RI?

Kizzez to Mr cutie

That your supply was just awesome mehn!

Yes RI Omo mehn, your radar sharp die. Lol

fortune1968:
Sincerely yours ,99.9% of women are WORST THAN BEAST .When it concerns relationship with their Husband

Including your mother, sisters and female family members right?

feddy27:
Ok mamas, let's have a discussion!!!!

RETURNING TO WORK AFTER MATERNITY LEAVE

It's always a period of mixed feeling returning to work and leaving you lil one under the care of home nannies or crèches.

I would like us to discuss how we managed it, share tips that will be helpful for other mamas here.

So I will go first: For both babies, I resumed when they were 2 months + cos I took my maternity leave earlier to aid my travel plans. I normally leave my babies with a nanny at my gran's house so she supervises them.

Some things I did that helped me:

1. I resume on a Friday ! Yes, so that once the pressure starts coming, next is weekend to cool my head. Also, it helps to reduce separation anxiety

2. I breast feed in the morning before going out, baby takes formula till lunch break when I get back home to feed, she continues with formula till I'm back home by 4. From 4pm till daybreak, we do only breast milk.

3. Have a discussion with your boss to either resume 1hour late or close 1hour early. This will really be helpful. I chose to resume by 8am and close by 4 while my colleague chose to resume at 7am and close by 3pm

4. When you get back home, try spend some time bonding with your baby. Forget plates that have not been washed etc

5. Weekends is for I and the children.. I try to make up for my absence during the week. I take them out or stay all day at home with them

6. Try and take each day as it comes. Don't over stress yourself or feel like a bad mom! NO!!! You are doing a good job

7. I don't take work home for any reason! This is a personal rule I put for myself since I started having babies. Wateva I can't achieve between 8am - 4pm remains till the next day. As I shut down my system, I also shut down my "work mind"


I will add more as I remember.

Other mamas should please share their experiences we can all learn and help others

THIS!!!

I resumed back at work the day my baby clocked 7 weeks exactly. Normally I should have around 3.5 - 5 months maternity leave, but because I got the new job when I was 36 weeks pregnant, I was not entitled to more than 6 weeks maternity leave (that's when your OB certifies you fit to return to work after a vaginal birth. 8 weeks for cesarean section).

It was just me and the baby and my husband, no help so we devised a plan.
1. I would take baby to the daycare in the morning and my husband will get him in the evening and stay with him till I come. My work is one hour from home and he works in town so it's easier that way.
2. I knew I wanted to do exclusive for the 6 months and thankfully, I was lactating well. Before I went back to work, I pumped almost every two hours. And boy! I was lactating like a cow. My baby had problems with latching early on cos he was weak and jaundiced so it was easy to establish pumping routines. Then I was getting like 35-45 ounces a day. Now I have cut it down to two pumps a day and produce between 25-32 ounces a day.
3. I talked to my supervisor. I offered to come in early so I can leave early. I also told HR and my supervisor that I need to pump at work. They gave me concessions to take breaks to pump and also created a room for me where I can pump. The room has a locker to store my pump bags and also a couch and a fridge to put the milk till closing time.
4. I did the chores at night. I usually pumped tomorrow's milk today and when I get home, I washed the baby's bottles filled it with milk and just put it in the fridge. That way, I can just grab the bottles and go.
5. I had like 8 bottles for the baby. I knew how many ounces he ate and I would measure each feed into a bottle. I did it that way to reduce contamination due to inappropriate handling by the caregiver. That way, she does not need to handle the milk, she only needs to give to the baby. I also devised a plan where she does not have to warm the milk with hot water or anything. Just air warm it at room temperature. (this was because I saw her one time giving very very warm milk to the baby)
6. I got the baby plenty clothes. That way, I did not have do do any mid week washing or anything. Washing and drying takes time.
7. Because my son had Atopic dermatitis, this pediatrician said not to bath him everyday. I also bath him only at night. This was easier for me to do this at night and this also meant I could stay in bed later in the morning. I also devised a means to make our bath times shorter. We showered together (My baby loves water, so this was easy).
9. I made our meals during the weekends. I would make huge pots of stew, soups, rice, beans, porridge and whatever. That way, we only microwaved food during the week. Less time in the kitchen, more time for the family.
10. I spend the evenings with the baby and the weekends too. My biggest fear when I wanted to start work was that my baby won't know me or bond with me cos he spends so much time at the sitter. I use all my spare time with him and now, he knows me well. He laughs, lights up and wants me to carry him anytime I enter the room.

All in all, try as much as possible to enjoy your child cos they grow so fast and before you know it, they're grown so much and you wonder where the time went.

Here's a pic or two of the mister himself

constance234:
No ma i never stated i support anyone coming with immigration intent. All i am saying is "Intent" is ambigious and it can NOT be proved by us. Let us allow the VOs and USCIS do their job, they are good at fishing out those with such intent.

Please i need to come join that una Nigerian union that help people survive, it must be very brodaly in CA amongst our people o.

Cool beans. We have a Nigerian association here and they're pretty supportive. The lady was almost due when they came here and she was sleeping at the women shelter. The shelter won't take men so the husband was sleeping at the greyhound station. I'm sure having a baby in the shelter would be hell, so the president of the association took them in for a while till they were able to sort housing for them at least. They had to organize a shower for them cos the don't even have pin for the baby thinking things will magically be set right in America. Smh.

When I see both husband and wife, I pity them. They're stuck, can't go forward or backwards, taking handouts to survive and yet people will be on their Facebook hailing them thinking they're living the life (Yes, I've seen people hailing the wife on her Facebook.) lmao.

constance234:
Spare me that ma, i live here in Atlanta where the average Nigerian is assumed a "fraudster". At work i hear all the stories and questions but i have won staff of the month back to back and my commission on productivity equals the salary of many staff. What i am saying is this "We can not evaluate prior intent", it is left for USCIS to do.

And please tell me the legal means you got your legal stay through i will tell you the flip side intent. I do not support illegality in any way, but we can not be here and evaluate peoples intent, if the law permits them to prove not having prior immigration intent to have immigation benefits who am i to complain.

I have read many peoples opinion here on USA immigration issues, someone even posited that "jus soli" should be abolished and only "jus sanguinis" carried on. So funny

Right! Because I would be here debating my personal life with you and what channel my immigration procedure takes. Okay, wait. I am coming with the details. You don't support illegality but you are supporting people who left Nigeria with the intent of coming here to claim asylum that never existed? Or the people who went to the embassy to ask for B visas when the intent was to change it to a "stay" visa once they land in the US? Abeg, miss me with that!!

constance234:
Now you are being rude, there is a thin line between sarcasm and being rude. I live in Atlanta Ga, i know what i am talking about dude. Most of us come here to claim holy holy, ask your uncle, Aunty, sister, brother, father, mother etc how they got their legal status in the USA( tell them all to return home first). Intent is left for USCIS to evaluate, not you or anyone here. It's left for congress or a presidential order to stop or halt the process.
I only replied Mamaoo because she made reference to a couple who came and didnt go back,then applied for asylum. We do know their plans prior and what promted the change in plans. #holyholy #USApresident

Most of us came here to form Holy Holy but not all of us. Speak for yourself and for yourself alone. I got my legal stay the right way and so did my husband. Just because some people got theirs through the wrong chanels does not make it right!

I tire for Nigerians sef. You do the wrong thing, they complain and accuse you of being a bad, non trustworthy person. You do the right thing, they accuse you of forming holy. We are well know all over for our corrupt lifestyles. Sotey, a senior management staff told me at work yesterday that Nigeria is heavily corrupt and the news emanating from over there is always corruption. I was mad and defended the country, but "Was he lying?" Deep down inside of myself, I knew he wasn't. SMH.

And YES! The couple came here from Nigeria, the wife was pregnant and they sold their belongings in Lagos just so they could move here. Infact, they used agents who collected up to N1Million from them to process visas. They got the visas, sold their belongings and jumped ship to America. They got to DFW with little or no money and the guy the agent introduced them to with the promise of accommodating them in the US refused to pick their calls. They were stranded for days, using up the meager money they brought from Nigeria with no hope of settling here and even going back home (they have sold everything).

Someone suggested they come to my City in CA because it's famed for Agricultural produce and Oil and Gas and see of they can get jobs. They hopped on a buis from Dallas to CA with the last money on them. Imagine a pregnant woman on a bus for more than 24hours. They got here and did not even have money to rent hotel. Became a burden on the Nigerian community here as we had to house them and even organized a baby shower for the wife. Now they're a liability to the government cos they get checks courtesy of their American born kid. But they can't work. Now they want to file asylum based on Boko Haram? Which Boko Haram is chasing them in Lagos? You lied at the embassy that you were coming for vacation. You sold belongings with the preconceived intent of moving here and you're here telling me about something that prompted the change of their plans when the plan from the get go was to migrate permanently?? Abegi. I am even glad the asylum request got denied. Nonsense!!

sugah:
Noted alphahandmaiden. I guess the only downside to the bottled meal is the cost then. Cos one small bottle of Gerber is 500 naira... Sweet potatoes of 500 would last a week.

I guess that would be an ideal option for when traveling...Cos iv been thinking of how difficult it would be to carry homemade meals on long haul flights.

Alphahandmaiden is right Not all of them are laced with preservatives. I give my son Earth's Best Cereal and bottled purees and they're organic and with no genetically engineered ingredients. I try to give him home-made food (he eats pretty much all the Nigerian food we eat in the house) while I am home, but as I leave home by 6:30am and don't get back until 6pm, my hands are tied..wetin man go do? . I really wish I could make his food from scratch for him to eat all day tho.

maradelkitchen:
Mamas in the house,please how do I get rid of pregnancy belly after six months?

Exercise and eating right. That's all you can do. But before you do exercises, make sure that you are not suffering from Diastasis Recti. This condition is simply the separation of ab muscles when you were pregnant to accomodate the baby.

A lot of people don't know this and all they notice is that even after the baby is 2years old, their belly still looks 5 or 6 months pregnant. I had it (I asked my doctor, and he said I have a minor one. I also checked myself). Mine was 4 fingers wide before I started doing dedicated Diastasis Recti exercises to correct it (I also go to the gym and do normal exercises) and when I checked like 2 days ago, I could barely fit in two fingers.

One last thing. STAY AWAY FROM CRUNCHES!!!! People tend to think doing crunches will help cut belly fat. Yes it might, but doing crunches with diastasis will only worsen the situation by making the Ab Gap wider. There's tons of info online.

LadyGuinivere:
Star jor!

Issokay! Issokay!! Barman! One carton of Star Lager that just got released from freezer prison for borryworld and LadyG

borryworld:
My pesin no need all this explanation. We all know the meaning of intent. We all know that things rarely happen by accident. You attended a visa interview with strong tie to Nigeria and assumption that you stay will be so short and brief. While in US you suddenly jam people on a queue and you asked them, what is happening here? Someone screamed "Job fair/Open day" and you papapa remembered that you have a degree that u have not finish using or a WAEC and TOEFL u never touch. Thank goodness, you brought the originals mistakenly. Job and school wey no reach for Naija. U kuku grab one.
You later go club one night. The night is for ladies only but you are not aware. After all you are JJC from Africa. All the ladies present were crying and you were surprised. What happen? You asked and they chorused "All the men in the world has deserted us". Why why why? From your church mind you promised to marry at most one, one and only one.
From the narration, did anyone see "preconceived intent to". It is just accidental and has happened to most Nigerians in US.

Borryworld for the win. You deserve a medal and a cold bottle of Budlight. Or would you prefer Corona?

constance234:
Lets also not forget that you are not breaking any law, if you had no intent at the time of applying for a visa to adjust status once in the country. If during your vacation,you happen to attend a job fair(get a job offer and they sponsor your work permit), School open day( you get admitted and they issue you I-20), meet a man or woman fall in love and marry. The bottom line here is "you will have to demonstrate to USCIS's satisfaction that you arrived without a "preconceived intent to ". It is true this privilege has been abused but still it is a law and permissable, so lets not be quick to judge people, so many had no intent of absconding when they applied for a visit visa. Plans change and the authorities are well aware of this as human nature. Hence this provisions are there to accomodate such change.

Uncle or Aunty... Did you read the part where he said that their sole intent is to process "stay" visa once they get issued with a B1/B2 visa? Or am I missing something here? They had the intent to run. Use the VISITING B1/B2 visa to gain entry into the US and then overstay and try to legalize afterwards. They had the Pre-conceived intent to from the get go

Even if you got a job while on a B1/B2, they still have to either file an H1, and H4 visa or an L1, L2 visa. And mind you, you will need to change status from to be able to work and that means they need to exit the country and apply for those visas OUTSIDE of the US. Their B1/B2 can't be changed inside the states. There is no such thing as work permit. They need to exit the country and apply for an EB visa and that's not set in stone. People still get refused the visas even with a job offer.

As per F-1, yes you can apply for change of status in the US to an F1 while on a B visa and still stay in the country but you will need an F visa to reenter the country if you leave the country. Most times sef, those change of status requests are denied. And by the time they deny you, many have overstayed.

What law are you talking about?

nefertitiram:
This is deep, very deep.

You see these people are not aware until they fall into this trap. Posts like these from enlightened people will help educate people more before they make a wrong decision because they are blindedby illusions. It is not their fault. They are ill advised, hence I led deblaize on to understand their point of view. And sincerely, reading his posts, You can't blame them because they just don't know and judging from his reaction now, he has a better understanding.

The worst part of this illegal immigration is being stuck.

Exactly. They are blinded by illusions and the lies they hear back home in Nigeria about America being the land of opportunities where everything and anything is possible. Hian!! If I hear. If you go to Houston ehn, you will see plenty of Nigerians, some in their 50s who can't even rent a house, don't have a job and have a pending removal order on their head. Yet they will be running around trying to evade USCIS because they can't afford to go back home as they don't have anything to show for their 15+ years in America.

There's a couple here in my city in CA, they came and left their jobs in Nigeria. Now they came here and started to come and claim one useless asylum saying they're fleeing from Boko Haram or whatever. The kicker is: these guys are Igbo. Which Boko Haram are you fleeing? Now, as God go catch them, I think you can only claim asylum is you fly directly from a country where you claim your life is at stake. But these people flew Emirates and their layover was in Dubai. So technically, they're seeking asylum from the UAE. I don't understand well Sha. But long story short, they can't file for asylum. They can't drive. I don't even know if they work. The only thing they have to show for it is thei Us born child. Maybe they hope that one can file for them in 20 years. Provided she makes enough money to meet the income requirements of filing for two people. It's such a mess!!! Smh.

justwise:
Why did you not report those posts in question? Some people reported those posts and i have been hiding them as soon as i got the report.

You were also involved in name calling so you should not tell me jack about fairness.

Excuse you! Please resurrect my posts and point out where I traded insults with her despite her name calling. Just point out one post where I engaged her trading insults.

So you expect to tell me people reported my banter with Sugah for breaking which NL rule exactly? And the same people suddenly developed selective blindness that skimmed over our Mischief-in-Chief's insulting posts. Abegi!

DaBlaize:
Hmmm,you are so right bro.
They actually plan to process a stay visa once they get there... Please can you profer solutions because they plan reapplying soon...

I am sorry bro, but I have to tell you this. This your sister and her family's plan is DOE. This is the reason why a lot of people end up stuck in the system here with nothing to show for iot after years and years of living in the US.

Legal residency/citizenship or even Employment Authorization, they cannot get. Home (Nigeria) they cannot go back to because of shame and the automatic ban once they step out of the US. Some even have deportation orders pending for them. How in the world do you think they will emigrate to the US on a visiting visa and get their "stay" visa? On what basis? Fraudulent marriage to an American?

They both would have to divorce each other before they can even think about getting married to an American for papers. But remember, they came here as a couple. Married. Good luck convincing USCIS that the new marriage is not a sham paper one. Even if one is lucky, who will file for the other one? Abi they will remarry each other? I am confused. You better advise them before they make a mistake they would come to regret.

They might say, no need to have papers, living in America is enough and I will have a better life. But have they thought of the fear of living in a stage of never knowing? They see a cop on the road, their heart will start beating fast hoping that the cop doesn't stop them and ask for their ID. They can never drive (except if they wanna do that without a license, which is a crime). They can't work (except for under the table employers who will treat them like crap). They can't leave the country. Their first child who came here with them can't go to college, he either has to produce an SSN which he doesn't have or apply for a student visa. They cant get health insurance. They're stuck. That's not the kind of life I wish my loved ones

Justwise,

If you're going to be fair and not partial (not that it grates me in any way anyways) why leave the posts where Ms. Resident Schizo called me stupid several times and hide the hearty banter posts between Sugah and I? What's that called? Selective hiding? Ayam not understanding

jesufifunmi:
Werey Alaso

Issa mental case

Shawbabe:
Yea! Tell yourself that honey! Prolly online since waiting for me...hahahaha I'm QUEEN like that!

Lmao. Issa liar you done or you finished?