₦airaland Forum

Viscount: Pronounced /vaikount/
Ewe: Pronounced /Yu/
Gnu: Pronounced /Nu/

The mind games have begun.

Isn't he supposed to represent us at the UN Youth Assembly? What motions or propositions has he made on our behalf? What important points of discourse that affect us as a developing country have been broached? What pressing global issues are being put forward and deliberated upon?
These are information he should be presenting to us intermittently. But he seems to be more interested in showing how well he looks and what clothes he is wearing.
Now, it is evident that poor leadership skills and misplaced priorities is not the exclusive preserve of the older Nigerian generation.
Uchemba has the opportunity to change the narrative for himself, and make a bold statement for the readiness of the Nigerian youth to occupy critical leadership positions, but like the typical mentally retarded philosophy of most Black Men, he prefers to let the others see that "I have arrived and now better than you"
I weep for my race.

And that, my people is the problem with the Bible: old testament, new testament and all the unfathomable grey areas in-between. If the Bible was a Mathematics textbook, there will be multiple correct answers to a simple equation such as 2x=4..
We should all know that there is the Word of God and there is the Bible; the Bible may not necessarily be the Word of God, simply because it was written by men.
The Word of God comes to us personally, through prayers and anything you hear or receive as an outcome of that prayer is for you only and cannot be applied to other persons.
Do not be bound by man's interpretations of what a man has written for man as we know will always try to twist things around to put himself in the best light possible.

The fact is that every single conscious human being on the face of the earth knows right from wrong; you know that thing called "conscience?" that's your moral compass. We all know when we are about to do wrong, instinctively, automatically; you don't need anyone to tell you that.

Daddy Freeze, GO, and the lot are not any better than the rest of us, they are human. Chart your own path, guided by the most basic instinct of right and wrong and you shall turn out well, eventually, hopefully. But toe the path set by someone else's words, then you are most likely going to end up worse for wear, eventually, most likely.

This write-up is not supposed to be hard and binding, for, even me, am human.

Please read what I have to write very carefully.

Do you need certfications? Maybe. They look good on your CV but that is usually as far as it goes. Employers know people run around getting these certifications with no competency whatsoever in the discipline and pay very little attention to them. And you can't just go around amassing certifications, like getting both an HSE and a NACE certificate (implying you want be both an HSE engineer and a corrosion engineer). It shows the employer you don't know what you want and are just "seeking employment"
You may join professional organisations like NSChe, NSE, SPE etc. Those may come in handy and some jobs (not many though) require you to be a member of at least one of these before they consider you for employment.

Now, to what you should be directing great energy to as a fresh graduate. Please become a Master of the latest versions of the following:
1. Microsoft Word: A lot of reports are written in this format and you shall be writing a lot of those regularly.
2. Microsoft Excel: Forget about the elementary calculations you executed in Excel while you were at school; you have to go a thousand steps further and improve your mastery of this tool. Take it apart and put it together again, until you understand its innermost workings.
3. Microsoft Powerpoint: This is the the go-to software for presentations. It is arguably the easiest to Master of all the Microsoft Office tools.
4. Microsoft Project: Project schedules and progress tracking are developed with this tool. Regardless of what industry you find yourself at the end of the day you will have use for this.
5. Microsoft Outlook: Aha! Emails!! The ubiquitous tool for communication in the office and field environments. Learn all the intricate details of this tool for you shall be making use of this on a daily basis, every single day.

For the Technical requirements,
For a Chemical Engineer, your expertise on P&IDs should be top-notch. How good are your P&ID skills? Not too good, I am sure. Not to worry. Download a book, go online, speak to people with experience; do anything and everything to improve this skill.
Other softwares you may want to learn are HYSYS and PIPEPHASE.

And please learn how to listen and respond to what you were listening to. This is a serious issue during job interviews. People tend to provide responses to some voices in their heads and flunk the interviews altogether.

I am assuming your spoken English is it should be for a Chemical Engineering graduate, so I won't dwell on that.

Follow these few pointers and you shall increase your employability by a factor of 10.
Good thing is these skills are still useful even if you choose to run your own company.

8. There is nothing I can do.

Lecturers say this when they either do not wish to help you or they are reason behind your problem and deliberately want to punish you.
You know, sometimes, you are the victim of missing answer sheets, grades that do not match your performance in an exam or test, you walk into the lecturer's office, present your case and all he says is "there is nothing I can do, yada yada yada..." That has got to be the most deflating response I got from anyone while I was in school.

Admin401:
i've never laughed so hard before.

Like Seriously! Dang! My visualisations were running wild as I read each post.

Don't know why but I just have this feeling that her personal hygiene leaves much to be desired

Dang! They made you hurt real bad. Send me your account number and I will replace the money.

For the life of me, I hope a doctor confirmed them dead before they were buried. Even worse than dying of a heatstroke is being buried alive.

ebosie11:
Onunkwo Johnson wrote: “Pls help identity this body, there was an accident at cele mile 2 express way this night and one person died at a spot and there was no any form of identification on her.pls share this pix as the Nigeria red cross members that were present at the Scene are making every effort to deposit the body at a morgue. Don’t forget to share this pix pls…tnk u”

Source: http://www.trezzyblog.com/2016/04/help-needed-in-identifying-this.html

...and what Doctor confirmed that she "died on the spot?" Are you a Doctor...Nigerians and the way they pronounce people dead on a scene because the person has stopped moving and "looks" dead to them; rather than taking the person to the hospital. Only a Doctor can confirm if a person is dead or not!

I am looking at getting married soon, searching for that one "vigorously"...stories like this scare me shitless...

Nihilist:
You still don't seem to get it despite being told by a prospective employer.

Everything HR does is geared towards minimising incoming lawsuits.

HR does health and safety training not because the department personally cares about your safety, but so that if anything goes wrong, the business can stand up in court or a tribunal and show proof that they trained you well and pass liability elsewhere...

HR 'recruiting' is just an opportunity for the company to claim that they are equal opportunity recruiters.

Even though do a lot of writing at School, Education is not about writing. I hope you get it now

From your response, it is obvious you have only worked for a small organisation, or one with very little structure...
...HR has nothing to do with lawsuits; the Legal and/or Contracts Department handles this
...HR may coordinate trainings in general but it does not handle Health and Safety Trainings, the HES department does
...HR does handle recruiting, infact it is one of their major functions, and for small organisations, their sole function.

To gain more understanding, read my response to the topic at the bottom of page 1 of this thread

Let me come in here...

I do agree with the Director to some degree but not to all extents: Human Resources does involve the management of people but that is not what it is all about. Thing is, everybody manages people: Supervisors, Bank Managers, Bus Conductors, Mothers, and Teachers, but would you call what they do Human Resources?

Human Resources really is the matching of people with the right set of skills and competence to the positions where their expertise will be most beneficial to the hiring organisation. It also extends to keeping these people trained and ensuring they continue to improve on their skills sets as they grow in the organisation and are charged with greater responsibilities; this is the reason why Managers and Engineers do not attend the same training classes. So do you see why the Director said "I cannot hire a .... to do the work of ...."

So, essentially, Human Resource is
1. Hiring intelligent, skilled and hardworking people to fill in vacant positions in an organisation
2. Training these people so that their skill sets improve to match whatever new/higher positions they may occupy

For the "end justify the means" question....
In an organisation, getting the job done is one aspect, how you get the job done is a second aspect. Organisations do not want people that want get a job done at all costs, regardless of whose ox is gored because organisations stand to lose a lot more if something goes wrong as a result.
Imagine completing a project on cost and schedule (mad props for you) but causing the death of one of the workers (a huge minus) due to your overlooking a safety measure as you tried to complete the project on time. There could be lawsuits, government sanctions or maybe just negative publicity for the organisation coming as a result. So, no, the end does not always justify the means.

Savvy?

I came, looked for the word "humility" found it and left.

Mermaids:
[color=#008080]is that chesire cat?

Awww......so cute.
Lovely fur [/color]

Now this takes show-off to a whole new level; you know very well that is NOT a cat but you still went ahead and called it a Cheshire Cat, just to show off that you know the term "Cheshire Cat"

HungerBAD:
It's lonely up there.

Eventually we all at one point in our live's will need somebody to call our own. Somebody to compliment us in our day to day doings, with love,flattery,nice words,care and most importantly companionship.

There are a lot of things fame can not bring.

Happiness.

Joy.

Peace of mind.

Real friends.

Privacy.

This is one sad lady.

See the emboldened? That's the first and only thing that crosses my mind everytime I see a picture of her.

...but una get light na, abi no be light I dey see for some houses so?

OP, it is Chevy View Estate not "Shelvey View".
My apartment overlooks the purported house he purchased. Was home one day when my younger sisters called out to me to come see Phyno. Cool guy, he heard their excited voices and actually waved at them. Me, like the bad guy I am, took one look and went back to whatever it was I was doing .
Apparently, he was checking out a new building that had just been completed; don't know if that is the same one he got eventually.

all4naija:
There are lots of way to train a woman's butt. Through some special exercises, eat some nutritional food targeting the hormone for butt, etc.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axVQ_gy99NU

The perverted cameraman spent more time zooming in on the woman's labia mound than anything else ...especially funny the way he zooms in and immediately pans the camera when she looks in his direction...

fr3do:
What could possible go wrong during an operation on such an insensitive part of the body?

Butt implants are usually done by injecting silicone into the buttocks. The body reacts following this injection and fluids (plasma from the bloodstream) build up in the buttocks. This fluid has to be drained from time to time, through a hose that goes into the buttocks through an incision.
Infection can come in either of two ways:
1. The fluid is not drained properly and becomes fetid.
2. The incision is not properly sterilized following every draining session and becomes an open festering sore.
Either way bacteria finds its way into the buttocks. The individual may survive if the bacteria stay in the buttocks. On the flip side, the bacteria find their way into the blood stream and the individual's blood becomes poisoned.
I am almost sure that was what happened in this case: bacteria infected blood flowing into the body's vital organs which become overwhelmed, go into overdrive and eventually shut down as the body produces more antibodies than it normally would.

How exactly is privatization supposed to work?
In simple terms, an ITT* is published and interested qualified companies submit their bids, which are reviewed and evaluated before one company is selected based on the strength of their bid and presentation.
Know why I capitalized the word "company?" Cause that's where the problem comes from.
What are these companies and who owns them?

The government sets up a privatization scheme in order to improve the performances of a sector/industry in the economy. But the companies which compete to win the rights to partake in the privatization exercise are still owned by persons in government. As a result the "government" ends up still controlling the sector/industry, with the attendant ineptitude, inefficiency and oscillatory growth.
And we are back to where we never left.

And again, it is all a shenanigan, a false pretense to justify charging a lot more for imperceptible service improvement.
I hope the privatization of the airports work as it is supposed to, but I know it won't even before it begins

*Invitation to Tender

Know all those movies you see where some Banana Republic dictator's son flies with cash in suitcases and reinforced plastic containers to stash in some First World Bank? That's reality right there. It so aptly describes the present situation in Nigeria.

The level of corruption in the country is unimaginable; the layman can not even begin to fathom what goes on in the corridors of power, in financial terms. Large swathes of cash is continually being moved around, both within and away from the country.
I don't even know how much hope I've got left for this country: One second I am high on some form ('cause it's not even real hope) of hope; the next I am left deflated by news of more financial misappropriation.

Black democracies around the World continue to recede into the dudgeons of under-development and crass poverty as a result of clueless, morbid, almost Satanic leaders.
Sad thing is, sometimes these thoughts keep me up at night. Damn! It's tough been Black and Nigerian.

Some of these are in no way bold and beautiful, they are just straight up distended; disproportionate body shapes that they should put a lot of work into correcting.

...Flavour's chorus sounds exactly like Dj Spinal's (and Burna Boy) Gba gbe e...or is he just sampling...

Damn! We play into their hands every f.cking time!! We fight amongs overselves over the verity of the claims, giving them just enough time to cloud the truth even further and bury it even deeper.
Money was misused? Truth.
There was a scandal? Truth.
She was and is still the head of the organisation where there was a scandal? Truth.
She was the head when the flight mishaps took place? Truth.
Following these premises, is she culpable? Of course!
I have seen CEOs get fired for even less impactful negative issues.
Dear nairalanders, please address the truth and do not let yourself get sucked into the confusion they deliberately set up everytime there is a scandal such as this one.
The arguments and counter-arguments going on here that do not address the main issue of the culpability of the office of the Minister but rather bring to fore ethnic bigotry and personal attacks plays precisely into their hands.

..."look at me, I'm the new Madonna"...NOT!!!...

...but wait, isn't it disrespectful to wear shades in the presence of an older man?...those ones sef no kuku talk, if to say na one "unknown" wear am now, dem go done halla the person...

[quote author=maxwello.yg]Many ignorant and illiterate Nlanders should read and comprehend this thread very well.
I personally, drink the water up whenever I break my coconut shell, I eat the white part of the coconut with a roasted corn. What a nice combo! Who else has tried it? Testimonies please? Lol[/quote]Your post lost three-quarters of it's punch and appeal because you chose to start it off with a derogatory statement rather than just sticking to the plot.

What are you guys comparing? They are not even wearing the same dress, except "who wore it better" now means something else...