₦airaland Forum

When parting with someone (whether boyfriend/girlfriend), and moving on to another person, dont dwell on the past by telling him or her bad things about your ex. dont bad mouth your ex to either your new partner or friends. but if you must say anything simply say ur ex was a great guy/girl, but things just didnt work out between the two of you. Shikena! Cos that's the best way to move on and start afresh.

This is when a girl ends up losing her fiance to another woman due to her desire to finish her studies first before getting married. or when a man while working hard and trying to raise enough money to get married and provide a comfortable home for himself and his wife to be, ends up losing her to another man. such is life. we do have cases like this. and some are due to external influence or interference. either from parents, family or friends. especially in the case of a girl. who may want to wait for her man, but might be 'forced' by circumstances or pressurized to change her mind and end up with another man. atimes, it's not the lady's fault. alot of things do go into consideration when it comes to the issue of getting married to a man. comfort comes before compatibility in most cases. a girl would want to marry a man that can provide/care for her and her family. gone are those days, when girls used to stand by a struggling guy with prospects. things have changed. they no longer wait. girls now go to the highest bidder. comfort first and love later. that's why marriages are failing and falling anyhow these days whenever financial problems rares its ugly head. if you are not ready (be you a man or a lady) to settle down either due to financial constraint or other commitments, dont get angry when your guy or girl decides to try his/her luck elsewhere. na so life be!

this is when a girl or a guy is simply disliked or hated by someone after turning down his or her advances. some people do react like this whenever their love advances towards the opposite sex is rejected. they feel either they're not good enough or the person simply dont like them. and as a result might develop hatred for that person. especially when it comes to a guy and a girl. girls are always at the receiving end in most cases. cos they turn down request upon request from men week in, week out. leaving in their trail dozens of heartbroken men filled with rage or dislikeness for her. either for eating their money and rejecting them afterwards or for pouring cold water on their advances completely. while in the case of a girl, we have some who usually start hating a guy for turning down her love. but our girls dont take such rejection too far, like the way most white or foreign girls do in other countries. the highest they can do is to despise the guy, hiss whenever she sees him alone or with another girl, or go about spoiling his name if they're in the same office or class. things like this do happen. but it shouldn't be. love is not by force. we win some, and we lose some. whenever your advances is turned down either politely or not. just brush it off and move on. like i always say, there's someone out there for everybody. instead of hating or plotting evil for that person that rejected your love/advances, just let it go and look elsewhere for love. Shikena!

Presently, I dont think there's any 'good' girl around anymore. please dont get me wrong. when I mean good, I'm talking about having virtues and being a wifey material. girls of nowadays are more interested in vain things. they want to have this and that, and tend to look at the size of a man's wallet before saying I do. if your ATM is not loaded, they are simply not interested. Evereywhere you go, it's the same story. and with the way things are going the ones that are growing, by the time they become matured would easily be influenced and carried away by this ugly trend. marrying or being a good girl would be the least on their mind. Bet me!

Relationship seems to be the center of everything. Cos it plays an important role in every area of the society. and it goes beyond boyfriend and girlfriend stuff. its what you are suppose to have within yourself as a person. you need to have a personal relationship with your spirit. anything contrary is bound to trigger a negative reaction. such as depression or confusion. so, it's very important that you develop a relationship with your spirit, doing that would help one to understand who you are and getting one to be focused. Relationship is also very important at your place of work, in your church, at home, among students/coursemates, in a marriage, among friends, between a govt and its people, a king and his community, a politician and his/her constinuency, among people living in the same neighbourhood, between the police and the public, between communities, states, and countries. and between you and God. having/developing a good relationship with others brings about unity, stability , cooperation, understanding and development. it enhances and promote love among people. it promotes camaraderie among friends and colleagues. it creates and promote team work and common goal. it boost marriages and provides an enabling environment for businesses to grow, people to develop, as well helping a couple to have a happy home. its the weapon/tool needed to overcome the challenges of life. especially when you have a personal relationship with God. It goes a long way in making one a better person. and apart from giving you joy and a sense of fulfilment in life, it also makes one to understand God better. A good relationship is the tonic needed to douse any crisis. absence of it is bound to cause cracks in a home, family, in the church, society, school, work, community , among friends or within an individual.

There is a friend of mine who is in a serious dilemma right now. He's presently in a serious relationship with a girl who has an identical twin sister. Things were going on well between my friend and his girlfriend until the girl start insisting that my guy must also date her twin sister. she said she cant be seperated from her twin sister, and so my friend must date the two of them. and her twin sister is down with this arrangement. Can you imagine. the guy is puzzled and don't know what to do. He loves his girlfriend dearly, and doesn't want to lose her. the option given to him, is what he cant do. Already he has started making plans to marry this girl.

If a guy doesn't give a girl money or attend to her needs, he's certainly an 'ATM' to another girl somewhere. And if a girl doesn't reply/return a guy's texts/calls nor calls him regularly. She's definitely calling and texting another guy somewhere, regularly. Na so life be. So, just take am like that!

its a natural thing, that most people do without even thinking about it. most times guys do complain that they tx and call a particular girl severally, but she hardly returns or call him. and if you check very well, this same girl has another guy somewhere that she calls almost everyday. she blushes each time she hears his voice or sight him. she enjoys his company and she's ever ready to make sacrifices for him. I cant say if its due to love or other things. her reasons is best known to her. same way, a guy gives more attention and assistnace to girl A than girl B. simply cos he likes/fancy girl A more than girl B. and this cud be due to alot of reasons best known to him. we do have our reasons for liking someone more than the other/rest. abi no be so?

Side Talk...

this is when a guy or a girl (in some cases) go about pimping girls for big guys or rich men for pleasure. I never knew such a thing still exist. knew guys used to to do it alot in the past. But I thought most men are now bold enough to approach any woman they desire, themselves. rather than send an errand boy or girl to the toasting for them. and I'm amused each time I see the way these guys go about it. blushing and filled with joy and jumping at the opportunity to talk to fine girls on behalf of someone else. Girls, they themselves wouldn't mind to 'bed' if given the opportunity. but since most of these girls are aristos ( is that name still existing?) or girls that cherish money, they have no choice but to love-vendor them for rich guys, for a fee. yeah, they do get something for all their effort. it could be inform of money, gifts, lunch or sometimes a hug from any of the girls they love-vendor for their rich clients.
A love-vendor is usually found on campus, and according to oxford advanced learner's dictionary he or she is someone who controls prostitutes and lives on the money that they earn. we have professional ones who are fully into it and see it more as a business venture. and we also those that do it as a temporary thing just to get by on campus. these ones are guys with sugar coated tongues. and they're experts when it comes to talking/cajoring girls. they are very good at it and getting girls for others is as simple as ABC to them. We also have those who love-vendor for their bosses or senior colleagues at work. Most times some ogas/office guys use either their security man or driver to arrange babes for them. Some also use their younger brothers or sisters in school, to get girls for them. especially whenever they want to throw a party. But tell me, what's the attraction in it? what are they gaining from it, when what's good for the goose, is also good for the gander...abi no be so?

this is when the love between a man and a woman or a couple suddenly turns to hatred or resentment when infidelity rears its ugly head. a couple can be madly inlove and could even make vows for the sake of their love but immediately one party cheats on the other, their love is bound to be broken. which could either lead to seperation or lack of trust in the relationship or marriage afterwards. even if the guilty partner is forgiven, it can never bring back the trust or love that once existed in their relationship. the cracks caused by cheating is forever noticeable.
check out the case of Tiger Woods and his ex wife. who could imagine that despite the love they had, his wife would chase him with a golf stick for cheating on her. he was lucky she didn't get to hit him with the golf stick. what about popular comedian Rusell Brand and his super star wife Katy Perry. even though their marriage was like a fairytale, they were known to be madly inlove and never hid their love for each other. but the moment they decided to go their seperate ways ( due to obvious reasons) they started attacking each other. a case of love gone bad. and coming down to our own industry, especially the one involving famous nollywood actress Ayo Mogaji and her actor husband. who had nothing good to talk about their marraige soon after their seperation. come and see the way both of them were washing their dirty linen in public.
and even when a couple in a conflict decide to settle their differences, they'd only be doing so based on some conditions set by the one cheated on. Just like what is happening between NBA star Kobe Byrant and his wife. The guy is doing best to make his marraige work based on the conditions given by his wife Vanessa after he was caught cheating on her. The woman is virtually the one incharge and wearing the trouser in the marriage now. Love can be broken anytime and anyhow. and the easiest and fastest way is when a partner cheat on the other person in a relationship. it's very difficult to forget or forgive a cheating partner (dont mind what Seydou and Talia are doing. all na for entertainment). some may want to, but others'd simply prefer to walk away. since seeing that person or being with him or her after the incidence could be uncomfortable atimes. it's bound to bring back bad memories of the past. that's why most people would prefer to end the relationship and move on to pasture new. since the love or trust they once had, has been broken....

Mr. Dreamer...this is when a guy likes a girl, who sees him more as a friend or as a brother, and always come to him whenever she's heartbroken, needs a shoulder to cry/lean on, needs advice on how to save her relationship with another guy, needs money to buy birthday gift for her boyfriend or to give her guy to use as transport fare or take care of his financial needs. we have guys like that, who despite their love for a particular girl they are always placed in the friend zone. when the girl doesn't feel the same way or pretend not to notice his feelings for her. and atimes, we have girls who do this on purpose. especially if the guy is not the kind of guy they dream about or desire to date. they usually take him as a friend or treat him as such. by coming to him with one need or the other. telling him anout their boyfriends or excapades with other guys, sharing her pains with him and using him to heal her pain whenever she's heartbroken only to go back to the guy who hurt her or find a new boyfriend. Oblivious of the pain she's causing the guy, who most times just sit and sulk in silence. My guy if you are in such a situation, abeg stop wasting your time and go look for a girl that'd like and love you. for there's always a girl for every guy. dont let any girl use you to heal her pain and then jump into the arms of another guy. abi na so you want am? This same thing happened to a guy like that. who was so much inlove with a girl on campus, but the girl was already seeing someone else. and more so, she saw him more as a brother and never really gave him the chance to express his feelings for her. but whenever the girl is heartbroken she always run to the guy for succour. even when she had issues with cult boys, it was the guy she ran to for help, when her boyfriend couldn't do anything about it. and whenever she was in need, it was the guy she always run to. she knew the guy liked her, but never really came to liking or having the same feelings for him. things were like this till they both graduated from school. You cant really force or cajore someone to love you. love comes naturally. If you are in such a situation, abeg wake up and look elsewhere. Cos she's not that into you (and may never be). Simple! This issue is also vice versa. cos we do have ladies who have crush or feelings for guys who either dont notice them or are dating other girls. they do their best to make a guy love or feel the same way for them but to no avail. such a girl ends up becoming an adviser to the guy on relationship matter. her love is hardly returned by the guy, except if the guy is one of those bad guys who might want to take advantage of such a girl, just for pleasure and still be with his main girl. but I dont blame them, i blame the girl, cos once you realize the guy you are dying to date/or have a crush on, is seeing someone else (or in a serious relationship). dont try to 'force' him to love you. cos if you do, it might back fire on you later. Like I said, look elsewhere for your own love. he or she is out there.

this is when a guy likes a girl, who sees him more as a friend or as a brother, and always come to him whenever she's heartbroken, needs a shoulder to cry/lean on, needs advice on how to save her relationship with another guy, needs money to buy birthday gift for her boyfriend or to give her guy to use as transport fare or take care of his financial needs. we have guys like that, who despite their love for a particular girl they are always placed in the friend zone. when the girl doesn't feel the same way or pretend not to notice his feelings for her. and atimes, we have girls who do this on purpose. especially if the guy is not the kind of guy they dream about or desire to date. they usually take him as a friend or treat him as such. by coming to him with one need or the other. telling him anout their boyfriends or excapades with other guys, sharing her pains with him and using him to heal her pain whenever she's heartbroken, only to go back to the guy who hurt her or find a new boyfriend. And while doing this she is oblivious of the pain she's causing the guy, who most times just sit and sulk in silence. My guy if you are in such a situation, abeg stop wasting your time and go look for a girl that'd like and love you. for there's always a girl for every guy. dont let any girl use you to heal her pain and then jump into the arms of another guy. abi na so you want am? This same thing happened to a guy like that. who was so much inlove with a girl on campus, but the girl was already seeing someone else. and more so, she saw him more as a brother and never really gave him the chance to express his feelings for her. but whenever the girl is heartbroken she always run to the guy for succour. even when she had issues with cult boys, it was the guy she ran to for help, when her boyfriend couldn't do anything about it. and whenever she was in need, it was the guy she always run to. she knew the guy liked her, but never really came to liking or having the same feelings for him. things were like this till they both graduated from school. You cant really force or cajore someone to love you. love comes naturally. If you are in such a situation, abeg wake up and look elsewhere. Cos she's not that into you (and may never be). Simple!

In this time and age, most of the 'young' mothers of today are spoiling their kids with too much love and affection. that's why most of them hardly caution or scold their kids. trying to imitate the oyinbo way of doing things, many of them tend to pamper their kids to a fault. even when its so obvious that the child is wrong, some mothers wont even lift a finger to punish them or put them in order.
that's why children of nowadays no longer respect their elders. even to greet, is very hard for most kids. and funny enough these kids attend some of the best schools in the land where they're suppose to teach them and help them develop into good kids. but its even in these schools that many of them learn some of the bad attitude they put up at home. these schools make them feel untouchable. and tend to spoil them the more. and when their teachers and parents pet them all the time. tell me, how do you expect these kids to turn out. disrespectful of course. and who are we to blame for this moral decadence among our kids? parents and teachers! cos they've failed to do their duties as parents and teachers. and when their child is being corrected or punished for doing wrong by someone else, some parents dont like it at all. they get angry when you scold or punish their child. and when a child sees his or her parents (especially their mothers) confronting or rebuking someone (maybe a neighbour or teacher) for beating/punishing her child, this gives the child the courage to continue to be disrespectful and disobedient. So when parents spare the rod, they are spoiling their child. And most private schools are now clamouring for the eradication of any form of punishment on a child. both at home and in school. they believe in talking' nicely' to a child than scolding or punishing him/her whenever he/she does something wrong. but these foreign methods hardly work in our part of the world. the mentality of our kids and theirs aren't the same. so different methods of learning and bringing up a child should be adopted by our parents and teachers.
you can imagine the other day somewhere in Lagos, a woman went to her daughter's school to fight the class teacher for beating her child. she went and slapped the teacher and engaged her in a fistcuffs right there in public. imagine. how can a good mother stoop to that level of fighting a teacher in public for helping her to correct her child. mother of nowadays should stop all this oyinbo oyinbo attitude and start doing things the way our mothers used to do it in those days, before things start getting out of hand. cos if something is not done to correct these nagative methods, a time would come when our kids'd start looking their parents in the eye and talking back at them. that's if some of them haven't started doing so already!
When you spare the rod, you're spoiling your child. Yes your child, and not mine. cos in my own home, the rod will always be available. And the sad part of it, is that when these children grow up to become adults and are later found wanting especially the ladies. they wont blame themselves but their parents for their bad manners. many of them are sent to some of the best schools, but by the time they are through with school, there's nothing to show that they've been brought up properly when you see the way they behave. So, tell me what's the essence of a good education when the child lack manners? to me, its a waste of time. cos good character and good education goes hand in hand. shikena!

When I hear guys say this, I begin to wonder if they're not actually the ones that got away from the grip of girls and not the other way round. Imagine a lady after cooking for a guy, washing his clothes, re-arranging his crib and 'taking' care of him, with the hope of becoming his wife only for the guy to dump her later for someone else. Tell me, who got away? Na the guy of course! Cos despite all the things the girl did to hook him, the guy still got away. we have lots of girls who have been dumped after being used in so many ways by guys. many of them have cried, begged and fallen ill all cos of a guy. and when such a girl eventually finds another man or about to get married, the guy that jilted her would start running his mouth and telling people that she was the one that got away. can you imagine. so you dey expect her to sit and fold her arms and be waiting for you for forever? abeg, real life no be like indian movies o. if you dont appreciate what you have, someone else is bound to appreciate her later. This is how some guys go about breaking the hearts of girls, and slipping out of their hands until when they are eventually caught and tied like an he-goat. Most times, when a guy is finally getting married, I believe the girl he's getting married to, must have done some extra-ordinary things to hook him eventually. considering the number of ladies he might have hurt and got away from in the past. If you are not ready, leave them (girls) for those that are ready. instead of deceiving them and adding more insult to their injuries...

@Sijo01, the heading of this post is like a metaphor and has to do with what usually happen when such a girl is caught by her two lovers to be double dating. And her situation is just like being in a storm, which usually comes with thunder and lighting.

This is when a lady is inlove with two guys at the same time. And apart from loving the two of them, she also shares her time with both of them. to me, she's simply inlove with one, and has only infatuations for the other person. cos if she's really inlove with the 1st guy, there's no need for her to fall inlove with another guy. except she's just like Talia (a girl who is madly inlove with two guys at the same time). most girls do this alot. some for personal reasons while others are due to their weakness emotionally. but in most cases, its the girl that always end up with nothing when such a situation gets out of control. once the two guys find out that she's double dating, she's bound to end up being dumped like a trash. and heartbreak is usually not far from such a girl. cos no guy would want an emotional wreck for a girlfriend. such a girl come with alot of baggages. they tend to fall in and out of love with every tom, Derick and harry that comes their way. they have or display traits of a slut. some do it intentionally while others are drawn into it. But both are guilty of the same crime. Double dating! the best thing to do in such a situation is to find the time to clear your head, and make up your mind to either choose one of them or break up with both of them and take some time off. so as to really know what you want. And also try to define the kind of relationship you want. by so doing, the issue of falling inlove with two or more guys at the same time, could be reduced to the bearest minimum (if not outrightly). Being inlove with two guys at the same time create confusion for a girl, and makes her look like a slut. So, why dabble into it?

If you're a guy and u're out on a date with a girl and she's busy pinging or browsing on her BB. simply stand up and walk out on her instead of sitting down there and looking like a fool...Yeah. that's the best thing to do in a situations like this. girls are fond of doing this to guys. especially if they dont fancy the guy. but mislead or give a guy false hopes when you know you dont like him nor intend dating him. like the case of a guy who I was told was asked by a girl he was chyking to come and meet her at one of these popular relaxation spots in Ph. on getting there, he saw the girl with another guy, before she now came and sat down with him. and while they were seated, the girl was busy pinging and flirting with the other guy.this guy just sat there while the guy and the girl were making a fool out of him. and as if that wasn't enough, the girl later called her friend to come and join her in chopping the muju's money. and when her friend came, they started ordering for this and that, and having a great time at the expense of the guy. many girls do this alot. and not a few guys have been made or used as a meal ticket by some girls. girls usually use guys atimes to get breakfast, lunch or dinner. and to make the matter worse, they could invite or bring their friends along. without caring if the guy has enough in his wallet. so far he's carrying an ATM card. and some of these girls do this, as a way of dealing with guys. cos to them, they feel most guys that approach a guy, are doing so just to get down with her. ready to use and dump them like trash. they know what most guys want, that's why they use many of them as their meal ticket. but girls shud be careful, cos when a guy keeps spending for a girl without getting any returns, he could get nasty and violent towards the girl if he gets the opportunity. your action atimes can trigger off the animal in some guys when it comes to the issue of girl and boy. so, if u dont like/fancy a guy, please dont make any attempt to chop his money or use him as ur meal ticket.

This is when girls hardly say or share most of the tins dey see or experience daily. Some have been assaulted, beat up (eida in dia room or at a guy's place), or hav had dia handsets seized/smashed by a jealous lover or for refusing a guy sex. And we also hav dos that ve had to compromise jus to get one or two favours from guys. And atimes whenever som of dem are goin out, dey do so with dia hearts in dia mouths. Cos dey are always conscious of what might happend when dey get to where they are going to. My dear, its rily tough out there for most girls... some of them are sometimes boxed by their boyfriends for refusing to do their bidding or seen with another guy. Like the case of the popular Tanzania actor who died after slipping and hitting his head on the floor during a fight with his girlfriend while trying to check her phone. you can imagine what jealousy can cause. Many girls have gone home, with tornd clothes or underwears. And with enough black eye after a rough night/outing with a guy. But they hardly report or tell anyone about these abuses/experience. some of them are even foolish enough to go back to the guy/continue with the relationship despite the abuses and injuries. Try and look into the eyes of some girls, you're bound to see so much pain in them. Though they do their best to conceal it and pretend as if all is well, but deep down they are living in bondage. Which could either be self inflicted or due to circumstances beyond their control.

This is when a girl or a guy goes about behaving like someone not properly brought up or trained at home. Becoming a nuisance to himself/herself and also to his/her immediate environment. we have people like that, and when you meet/see such a person, you begin to wonder if he/her grew up at home at all or was picked and raised in the streets. due to the person's bad character and indulgence in other negative stuff.
Most times, any guy that's like this tend to be a trouble maker and is usually avoided like a plague. But instead of being remorseful or repentant, such a person usually feels he's untouchable and can do whatever he likes without being punished. while in the case of a girl, theirs usually have to do with men, and the way they go about it makes some women tremble with fear. And wherever they go, their stories follow them like shadows, due to their numerous affairs with several men and bad personality. But funny enough most of them dont care what people think or say about them, as they enjoy the snares they get and the whispers behind their back. While they go about, doing what they know how to do best...wrecking homes and breaking hearts...
Most times, the way a child is brought up tells alot about how that person would turn out to be later in life, interms of his or her personality. growing up in a particular environment, also have a role to play in the growth and development of a child. and some dont know how to separate the wheat from the chaff...that's why we have those that behave like omootas...and this thing goes a long way, cos it can also be carried into a relationship or marriage. And you can imagine what kind of relationship or marriage that particular person is bound to have...a thug is likely to be abusive to his wife or girlfriend, while a promiscuous/irresponsible lady is likely to carry such an habit into her marriage or relationship with guys. so my dear, my brother...no matter the environment or circumstances, lets endeavour to seperate the wheat...from the chaff!

The only MC with an MSc
So don’t be surprised when they jealous me"

The above line is a line from the hit track 10/10 by Naeto C....

Of course, levels no be the same, considering when one is a son of a former minister and a top PDP politician, he can afford to go to harvard to study if he wants. compare to some artistes who grew up in mushin or Alagbado, weren't born with a silver spoon nor had the means to further their studies, but got to where they are today via hardwork. levels no be the same, my guy. So, there's no reason for comparison.

@Slimyem, Mirror Mirror on the wall...who is the fairest of them all, talks about the invisible rivalry and competition among some people when it comes to going out with the most beautiful women or handsome guys. And how such a desire also come with alot challenges for some, etc. it's all about beauty and the beast.

In our society, we do have men who enjoy chasing and dating beautiful ladies. To them such girls are exotic and chasing them gives them so much pleasure and excitement. and many of them are willing to spend any amount just to catch a beautiful woman. Atimes, this is even done as a bet among some guys. And we also have those who go the extra mile to marry a beautiful woman. They see it as a thing of pride and as well as a prize asset on their trophy cabinet. And just like we have those that enjoy dating beautiful women, we also have those that prefer going out with an average/normal lady (in terms of beauty). they prefer dating an average girl due to the competition and stress of keeping a beautiful woman at bay. they want a girl they wont have to compete with other guys for. to them, marrying a beautiful woman, is bound to bring so much attention and distraction into their lifes or marriage. Some of the men married to beautiful women hardly have rest of mind. they are constantly monitoring their beautiful wives indirectly (if not directly). sometimes, you see such men always with their wives whenever they can. they go almost everywhere together. And each time their wives are out alone, they are always tensed. but once she comes back, you'll see the relief on their faces. There're even those that wont mind to keep their wives or babes at home 24/7 if they have their way. we've heard of guys who dont allow their girlfriends to go out alone or mingle freely with the opposite sex. due to the fear of losing her to someone else (a typical example of an insecured man). Men see beautiful girls like an expensive wine, desired by many but taken by the highest bidder. and we also have those who do their best to date fine girls so as to brag about it, or show her off among their friends. and looking at it from the ladies' angle, especially campus girls. Many of whom compete among themselves for almost everything. and dating a finer or richer guy is also part of the competition among them. there are girls who blush, become speechless or dream dreams while standing, whenever they see a fine guy, with enough swag and cash. they instantly dump or forget their boyfriends and start dancing towards the guy with more cash and swag. some of these girls like hanging out with fine guys and making yanga with them. it's like a competition among them, especially on campus. and most times, whenever two girls are fighting over a guy, if you check very well, the guy they are fighting over must either be a big boy or a fine guy. Girls hardly fight over a guy, wey no too fine or get pepper. Abi no be so?

Each night of a particular day you see them, girls of different shapes, sizes and colours strutting up and down the road, dressed to kill in sexy leggings, shorts and heels. with shapes that can make any man wet with dreams. They're all full of ambitions. Both good and bad. some come with hopes of making money for the week, while others come seeking for a lifetime opportunity. And some even go the 'extreme' just to make things happen. Only to end up dancing naked in the street to the rhythm of their 'jazz' music. some are masters of the profession, while a few are just coming into it, hoping to use it to raise money to buy either a Blackberry phone, nice dress, pay school fees, help their younger ones or buy brazilian weave-on. And ironically many of these girls have being doing it for years, but yet they are still where they were right from when they started out. except for a few, who are lucky enough to catch a permanent partner or get the chance to travel abroad. many of them see what they're doing as an opportunity for a bigger break, forgetting that being at the bank of a river is both good and bad. Cos same way one'd have access to regular water, the same way one can also drown. that's just the way I see these ladies, (some of whom are college students) who come out in droves half clad and seductively dressed. looking for whom to 'catch' for the night. and fortunately for them, the clients are already there, waiting eagerly to pounce on them, for an hour or more...Welcome to Happy Hour!

I can still remember a particular local song we used to sing when we were little kids whenever we see two boys or girls fighting. And the ending of the song though derogatory, it's kind of an appropriate name to give to anyone seen fighting in public. for if you can stoop so low to fight in public no matter the reason or excuse/provocation, it's very degrading and unimaginable especially if it's a fight between two adults. and to make the matter worse, if it's between two ladies. and making it even more worse is if the fight is because of a man. who probably is either right there, by a corner amused and watching as the two ladies are fighting over him and disgracing themselves (not him) in public, or he's somewhere else with another babe having a good time or at home with his wife and kids. playing the role of a good husband and dad (kai men!). while his mistresses are busy having a go at each other. tearing their clothes and exposing (for all to view) their 'precious parts' right there in public. either under the bridge, in the middle of the road, at the market, restaurant or even in the man's office. so, tell me if this kind of display in public is not disgraceful enough for them to be refer to as animals...two fighting, eediye meji jaa (meaning two cocks are fighting)...the song goes on and on. and it's usually not a sight to behold. cos it's a shameful act. and fighting in public (either physically or verbally) over a man, especially if it's over a married man it's more down grading and disgraceful. they ought to cover their faces in shame, cover their unclothedness as well and run home with the little sanity they still have in them. Abi no be so?

It's a normal thing to see a guy or a girl after being dumped and heartbroken, recoiling into his or her shell, staying away from the opposite sex or getting involved in any relationship for a while. still hurting and filled with a bitter/sweet memories of the last relationship, he or she would be hostile and in an hateful state of mind. doing her best to hate men or women and anything that has to do with relationship. But being who we are emotionally, time they say heals the wound. same it is with someone recovering from an heartbreak. he or she is bound to change/relax her earlier held negative views or opinion about love and relationship. Going through a sober reflection of sort, she tend to take the blame in a way, while hoping and willing to give love another try. but this time around... wiser and more of a predator/hunter and less of a prey! like the case of Shelia, who became a changed person, having gone through series of heartbreak. Guys showed her pepper. some eat her money, food and also took her for granted before dumping her like trash. she later made up her mind to be wiser and also be more of a predator in her next relationship. and presently, she's got her groove back, having a blast and making men lick from her palms.

"it's not what you think, nothing happened or it was a mistake" are ready made statements common with most ladies that cheat and lie alot. And not a few guys have gone through issues like this with their girlfriends. And if you believe any of this, then you will believe anything in this world.



Imagine your girlfriend sleeping over at a guy's place and telling you nothing happened. or when a girl goes to a guy's place on campus for group studying or to charge her phone. only to end up spending the night there. And she wants her boyfriend to believe nothing happened. or that whatever happened was a mistake. Hmmmm, a mistake indeed! what does a girl expect if she goes to spend the night at a guy's place? That every guy is a monk or a priest. and as a result, she's safe with him and nothing fit happen. in this time and age, when the hormones of most guys keep increasing by the day.

My guy, be wary of girls that lie alot to cover one lie or the other. Except you're blinded by love (or by lust). Especially when a girl goes to see a man in an hotel or spend the night at his place, only for her to come back and start telling her friends or boyfriend nothing happened. ok o, she's now part of super story/nollywood where a man usually have pity on a girl once she start crying, and may decide not to sleep with her again. and still give her some money and also be willing to assist her. shey? like I said, such incident are mostly common in nollywood movies and not in real life, especially in Naija...Once she start saying/using any of the above words, just know that e don happen (you can interpret it anyhow you want)...Dont look for trust in any girl, just ask her to show you some respect. shey you get?

And mind you, this thing is vice versa. cos it's also common with some guys too. Especially if a girl is dating a guy whose fidelity she can't vouch for. The type that's always seen/caught with this or that girl, or heard to be involved with other ladies. And he's always using the above phrases alot. My dear, just dont expect too much from such a guy. Cos he's a master of the game and would keep playing on your intelligence and love, for as long as he wants. so, you either quit or just dont expect too much from him...Shikena!

Imagine your girlfriend sleeping over at a guy's place and telling you nothing happened. or when a girl goes to a guy's place on campus for group studying or to charge her phone. only to end up spending the night there. And she wants her boyfriend to believe nothing happened. or that whatever happened was a mistake. Hmmmm, a mistake indeed! what does a girl expect if she goes to spend the night at a guy's place? That every guy is a monk or a priest. and as a result, she's safe with him and nothing fit happen. in this time and age, when the hormones of most guys keep increasing by the day.

My guy, be wary of girls that lie alot to cover one lie or the other. Except you're blinded by love (or by lust). Especially when a girl goes to see a man in an hotel or spend the night at his place, only for her to come back and start telling her friends or boyfriend nothing happened. ok o, she's now part of super story/nollywood where a man usually have pity on a girl once she start crying, and may decide not to sleep with her again. and still give her some money and also be willing to assist her. shey? like I said, such incident are mostly common in nollywood movies and not in real life, especially in Naija...Once she start saying/using any of the above words, just know that e don happen (you can interpret it anyhow you want)...Dont look for trust in any girl, just ask her to show you some respect. shey you get?

And mind you, this thing is vice versa. cos it's also common with some guys too. Especially if a girl is dating a guy whose fidelity she can't vouch for. The type that's always seen/caught with this or that girl, or heard to be involved with other ladies. And he's always using the above phrases alot. My dear, just dont expect too much from such a guy. Cos he's a master of the game and would keep playing on your intelligence and love, for as long as he wants. so, you either quit or just dont expect too much from him...Shikena!

Going for youth service is an experience alot of guys and girls do look up to soon after graduating. some due to their desire to serve their fatherland, others due to the enjoyment and fun thay hope to catch while in camp. I guess it has to do with more of the later. as you see most married or engaged couples hiding their rings and throwing caution to the wind in their quest to have fun and enjoy their time in camp. it's a period many want to enjoy, since it's not a forever thing. you see some married couples (ladies) having series of flings with both their male corpers and camp commandants, they are always reluctant to have their spouse visit them in camp, and sometimes play the role of wives to their lovers in camp (you can imagine).
Guys also do the same thing. Continuing from where they stoped on campus I guess, they chase and bed most of the female corpers in camp, as well as any other girl they come in contact with while serving. some might even have partners they want to marry at home. but when they are in camp or serving, anything goes! And come and see how girls and guys cheat on their lovers at home, by chasing, flirting and having sexual relationship with one another at will. they just want to enjoy the moment.
They quarrel, make up, snach each other's lovers, fight over a guy etc. and its usually a period some corpers unleash the dragon in them. including those ones that were behaving like innocent/responsible students while in school. but when they get to camp, its a different ball game entirely. And by the time they are about rounding up their service they clean up, say their good byes, hug and kiss or even do it one last time, before going back to their various spouses, lovers and homes. pretending to be good boys and girls while in camp/serving. since what happend in camp, stays in camp... And many are guilty of doing some of these things while in camp. Abi no be so? And if you know you are one of them, please kindly raise up your hand *winks*

Whatever

you say about me, is just like a whisper in the wind. It doesnt get to
me, cos i'm high and above ur level. No wonder all your gossip, are
under my feet. Where they belong. I'm moving on, &anything you say,
means nothing to me. Cos it sounds like a broken record. Craving for an
audience, distracted somehow. With enough worries of their own. If I
were you, I'd do what others are doing...go get a life! Dedicated to
whom it may concern. Stop wasting ur time trying to bring others down
with ur idle talk. Go and do better things with ur time, and let others
be. ..Lets do things right. PS: dont let what anybody says about you bother you. Just try and be doing what is right...dat's all.

Breaking up with your partner and moving on entails forgeting about the past and working towards having a better tomorrow with someone else. But ironically there're those who still find it difficult to forget or let go of their ex after the end of a relationship. They are unable to let go, in the sense that some cant help but still check on their ex once in a while. and with the advent of the internet and social media, most times you find a guy or a girl checking (more of following & monitoring) on his or her ex either on twitter or on facebook. eager to know how the other person is faring, if he or she is now seeing someone else, or married, has a new job or involved in any project. most times, they are more interested in the other person's love life. and before they realize it, they are unknowingly drawn into a competition with their ex in one way or the other.

we see some ladies doing their best to have a happy and better relationship than they had with an ex, and also be more successful than their ex in some cases. they dont want to stumble into an ex boyfriend while streking on the road, looking older or haggard, jobless or without any achievement to talk about after breaking up. and the guy (the ex boyfriend) may not even show his disappointment before her, but dont be surprised to hear him discuss or laugh about it with his friends at the office or bar. so, most times girls dont want to stumble into an ex when the going is not that good for them. they dread such an experience. a girl wants to meet her ex when she's in her own car, with her new boyfriend/fiance, looking better and more beautiful, or smelling of success and beaming like a bride to be before her ex. and not the opposite. especially meeting her ex with his new girlfriend when she cant boast of having any man in her life.

we also have guys who are caught up in this kind of game. some of them soon after breaking up with a girl, wouldn't want to meet her later with a finer, better or more successful guy by her side. or see her driving a better car than his. or when she's pregnant and married, and displaying (showing off) her wedding ring in his face (you know ladies nah). you can imagine how the guy'd feel seeing that his ex has really 'moved' on while he's still struggling to find another girl, a job or better his life. it's cos of some of these reasons, you find some people unknowingly competing with their ex, so as to not to be seen as a failure or the cause of their break-up. and it is also common among some seperated/divorced couples. sometimes, some of them (especially the men) use the excuse of going to see their kids, to check on the other person (ex wife). like knowing who she's dating, what's she's doing or how she's coping and living her life. we have women who also do the same thing. Most divorced women work their ass off in order to be successful and also have a more comfortable life than they did when they were married. some do their best to find a better partner than their ex husband. and also check on their ex by seeking and getting information about him either from their kids (if they have), friends or colleagues at work. Just to know who is doing better between the two of them...

Like the case of a woman known to have abandoned and neglected her mother in her old age, she too got treated the same way by her own "irresponsible" children when she became old and had to retire to the village. Her children abandoned her in the village, collected all her savings, and left her all alone, penniless and sober. things like this do happen, and alot of people are guilty of such acts. both intentionally and unintentionally. And when you abandon your parents when they are old, just know that your own children would do the same thing to you, no matter how well you prepare or how much you save for your retirement. lack of love or care from one's family could be more devastating than not having any money or food. many are known to have died or lost their mind due to lack of love/care from their loved ones. Abandoning/leaving one's old folks in the village without any support is cruel and its an act against God. You dont have to be a Dangote or Dbanj to give your old folks the best of comfort in their old age. no matter the small size of your pocket, you can still do alot by showing them lots of love and care. visiting them from time to time, caring for them and supporting them all the way. Remember, they were there for you when you were a child, helpless and fragile...showed you lots of love and care, clothed and fed you. and also gave you a home...so, endeavour to show your old folks love and care. it's your duty and responsibility!